(December 1997 to February 1998)
When the provincial bureau working group announced my resignation from the position of field director at the farm's second-level cadre meeting, my fifteen years of state-owned enterprise "official career" came to an abrupt end. As the lead of the position and role disappeared, the burden of responsibility that pressed on my heart also disappeared in an instant. At this time, I truly felt the wonderful freedom of being free from official duties. Previously, it was fate that pushed me, who was born in a humble family, step by step to the "high position" of the ten-thousand-man farm manager that I thought was unattainable in my youth. Now, it was fate that made me choose to give up the "throne" that others had been pursuing for their entire lives and become a commoner again.
It was December 1997, and I was half a year away from turning 47. In these 47 years, I completed my first " reincarnation ". Although this reincarnation was filled with hardships, compared to those who were more talented and experienced than me but never achieved anything, I was considered lucky. Naturally, I had no complaints about the results of the previous 47 years.
After I stepped down from the position of field director, because I was still far from retirement age, I still had to stay in the unit to work as usual according to the requirements of the organization. If this was the case, the relationship between me and the young field director and the young secretary who took over my position would be awkward. If I led them suddenly and they led me, they would definitely not be natural in handling the work. If I, the abdicated field director, stayed by the side of the new field director, it might become a "restraint" to them. They were afraid that as time passed, some conflicts would arise. Not only would they lose their original friendship, but they might even become enemies (this was a common lesson around them). So I told the two young leaders my thoughts. I didn't plan to stay in the unit and left the farm to rely on my wife. At this time, the farm could no longer pay wages normally. Just like those old educated youths who caused trouble in Shanghai, I had also owed half a year's salary in the past two years. When I took over two years ago, the old leader who left paid off the salary he owed himself. I won't do that anymore. I'll owe it to everyone. In the future, it would be better if they could get paid. If they couldn't, they would just admit that they were unlucky (at that time, they felt that there was no hope). They wouldn't do things that would cause trouble for the new young leaders. I only hope that they will cover up for me when the superiors ask me where I went. They acquiesced to my request. Then, I left the office with nothing.
I returned to my wife's home in the electric stove factory on the outskirts of the provincial capital. I wanted to go home and calm down for a while, but this was not a place where I could calm down. The house we lived in was one of the rooms on the first floor of a three-story brick-concrete building (the building area was 60 square meters). This small building only had one unit and a total of nine suites. The people who lived in it were the factory leaders and chief engineers of the electric furnace factory. The houses were very ordinary. However, at that time, the electric furnace factory was in financial difficulties and the staff's housing was extremely tight. This small building was regarded as the focus of the factory's cadre's privilege (at that time, the word "corruption" was not commonly used). Some young workers who moved out of the mountains and did not have a house took turns to vent their dissatisfaction at the leaders 'houses in the small building. The doors of the factory's cadre who lived here were mostly broken and repaired. After being repaired, they were kicked and broken by the staff. The apartment that my family lived in was an extra room after the arrangement of the factory level cadre and the chief engineer of the electric furnace factory. All the employees of the electric furnace factory who were not allocated a room were staring at it with red eyes (no one could settle it). When my wife moved in, the electric furnace factory immediately exploded, and the spearhead of the commotion immediately turned to my wife. My wife was in charge of the workers 'lives (including housing) in the factory. Since she lived in this house for us, she had no right to speak. Those who didn't have a house to live in or were dissatisfied with living in the house scolded her for using her authority to live in the house. In the eyes of those workers, it was as if she had just escaped from other places and came here. They didn't think that if it wasn't for the transfer of work, we wouldn't have to fight with them for the house. Of course, there was no practical meaning in telling these to the workers who did not have a house to live in. Therefore, his wife could only swallow her anger and bear the pressure silently. When some low-quality young workers found out that I had resigned from my position as the field manager and no longer had any power, they came to my house to cause trouble even more unscrupulously. Some even put on the airs of local ruffians and provocatively said that they wanted to fight with me, which made me feel like a tiger had landed on the plains. "However, we can't be calculative about the workers who don't have a house to live in. Based on the actual situation of the electric furnace factory, I gave my wife an idea and asked her to suggest to the factory to carry out a simple renovation of the idle production auxiliary rooms and offices in the factory area to solve the housing problem of the employees. Later, it proved that this expediency was very effective and solved the housing problem for many employees. The dissatisfaction of the workers with housing was alleviated." Some of the workers who were hostile to us also changed their attitudes towards us, and her work began to gain the recognition and support of the employees. However, we didn't have a foundation in that factory, and it was difficult for us to develop deep feelings for the factory's staff. My wife and I didn't have any plans to live in that factory for a long time. At that time, I was in the stage of psychological adjustment after resigning from my position as the field leader. I was also unwilling to have too much contact with the factory's officials and masses to avoid being asked why I resigned repeatedly. I didn't want to unconsciously become a nagging woman.
Since 1995, I have been hiding a belief and motivation in my heart. I have to rely on myself to get rid of all the "entanglements" in front of me and go far away to find a new living space. Therefore, I put all my energy into learning the necessary skills (computer operation and English) for working outside.
In 1997, the word " work " was still a fashionable new concept for people in inland provinces. Because there was no decent economic foundation of foreign-funded enterprises or private enterprises, and state-owned enterprises were still the mainstream, there was no wave of work or work fever, and there was no such thing as " migrant workers ". However, at that time, the state-owned enterprises were laid off and no new jobs were being created. Those who had not graduated from high school and could not find a job after graduating from university became the main group of people who were the first to embark on the road to work in the inland provinces. For someone like me who is almost fifty years old, there are very few people who want to work. My son and daughter went to school in 1996 and started looking for jobs on their own. The fact that my children had started working to earn a living had actually become the driving force behind my decision to resign. Since his children could survive on their own the moment they entered society, their father, who had 30 years of working experience, could not survive.
I sat down in front of the computer where my daughter practiced typing. I stroked the keyboard with both hands. I was about to turn 50, but I had to learn this fashionable computer operation technique and use it as a means to make a living. I was so excited that I couldn't describe it. All of this wasn't entirely due to the pressure of survival. It was also a long-cherished wish of mine to live a more exciting life. There wasn't anything special about my talent, but I always had a beautiful yearning for certain skills or knowledge. I especially envied others for their elegant and beautiful handwriting, but I was born clumsy. I also wanted to write well, but I couldn't jump out of the chicken feet. I knew that I couldn't write anything that would make people read it, so I wanted to use typing to cover up the embarrassment of not writing well. Therefore, as early as 1985, when I saw the factory's typing staff typing documents while chatting with others, I was extremely envious. I strongly wanted to learn how to type, and I borrowed the factory's scrapped type writer to practice at home. However, after a month, I didn't make much progress. I was afraid of wasting the wax paper in the factory, so I gave up halfway. However, the idea of learning how to type had always been suppressed in my heart.
At this time, computers were already available. I didn't have to learn the outdated typing skills anymore. I could directly learn how to type on the computer. At that time, computers were so expensive that people were dumbfounded. The cheapest one cost more than 20,000 yuan. Not to mention that families couldn't afford it, most of the state-owned enterprises that were in trouble couldn't afford a computer.(When I resigned, the financial department of the unit had just allocated a 386 computer from the superior.) Fortunately, I have a cousin in Qing Dao. After he graduated from university, he opened a computer hardware sales department with a friend. He dismantled useful parts from the recycled scrapped computers and sent us a computer. My brother sent a letter saying that the functions of this computer could only be considered as level 186, but it was enough to practice the five-stroke typing. Even this incomplete computer was regarded as a treasure in my eyes.
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