"Beauty, do you like green peppers? Would you like to take a ride in my carriage?”I found a girl. I didn't expect to find such a beautiful girl in this small town. Because I was slapped by Guanyin, I haven't had a girl for a long time, but this girl is really tempting, I can't help but fall into my old habit again.
That girl ignored me. F * ck, she really had no taste. She didn't even bother with a handsome guy like me. I jumped off the carriage." Beauty, this is my first time here. Can you show me the way?"”Mm looked at me and winked at the man beside him.
The man next to her was tall and had a fierce-looking face. His muscles were comparable to Stallone's. When the muscular man saw me seducing his female companion, he was naturally furious." Stinky bald donkey, do you want to be beaten up? Get lost!"
I ignored him." Miss, do you know what's the meaning of 'sinking fish and falling geese' and 'being ashamed of flowers and closing the moon'? These two idioms were simply designed for you. Only these two idioms can barely set off your beauty. Meeting you is the greatest happiness in my life. Can you tell me your name? I think your name must be as beautiful as you are. Please do me the honor of having lunch with me.”
The muscular man was furious." Bald monk, how dare you tease my fiancée? You're asking for a beating."”A fist as big as a vinegar jar hit my face.
……
"Ah! Sir System, please spare me! Aiyo, I won't dare to do it again!"
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"Miss Xiaohui, what do you think of this jade pendant? I think it should be ten times more beautiful to match your beauty.”
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"It's not expensive, it's not expensive. It's only three hundred taels of silver. For Miss Huihui, I'm willing to give up my life, let alone a mere sum of money.”
……
"Master, this guy should be beaten to this extent, right? I'm hungry."
"Alright, alright, spare his life. Don't scare my Huihui.”
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"Your name is Peng Bin, right? I heard that you have a nickname called Street Tiger. Remember, if you dare to come to my dear Huihui's house again to force a marriage, I'll cut off your whip and soak it in wine!”
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"Dear Huihui, take this money back to subsidize your family expenses first. When I come back from work, I'll marry you. Be good, don't cry. I'll definitely come and marry you. If you continue to cry, my heart will break.”
……
"Master, Old Sun really has to hand it to you. How did you know that Peng Bin, the street tiger, was forcefully snatching a girl and forcing her to marry him? Even Old Sun's Fiery Golden Eyes couldn't see through it, but Master, you saw through it at a glance.”
"It's very simple. One, when Miss Huihui and Peng Bin walked, Miss Huihui always wanted to stay three steps away from Peng Bin, and Peng Bin wanted to pull Miss Huihui along. Miss Huihui seemed extremely unwilling, which proves that the two of them were not siblings, husband and wife, or lovers. Second, when Peng Bin walked, the passersby would always go around him. The hawkers on the roadside would not even want to do business and would directly retreat to avoid him. It could be seen that Peng Bin's usual behavior was not far from being a bully or a hooligan. Combining these two points, I conclude that Peng Bin must have forcefully snatched a commoner girl, which is why he wanted you to save Miss Huihui.”I explained proudly. Actually, this was also my experience from watching Boss He, Kang Peng, and the others run amok in the city.
"Master is really perceptive. Old Sun admires you.”Sun Wukong's bootlicking skills were really not that good. If it was me bootlicking, I would at least say that my admiration for Guanyin was like the torrential Yangtze River, endless. It was also like the Yellow River flooding, which was out of control.
"Bajie, did you do what Master told you to do?”
"Master, don't worry, that Peng Bin will definitely vomit blood and die three days later!”Zhu Bajie's face was filled with reverence." Master, you've already booked seven or eight masteress for us on our way here, right? Will you be able to marry all of them in the future? Why don't you work harder and give me a few?”
"F * ck, you even dare to share Master's wife. In the future, be filial to Master and Master will give you a few small houses! Also, Monk Sand and Wukong, Master will find you a few wives. You will have hot soup and rice to eat when you go home at night. Hey! Don't blush! With the compensation from Manjushri, it's not a problem for each of us to get ten or twenty wives.”I teased.
Sun Wukong, whose face was as red as his butt, changed the topic." Speaking of Manjusri's compensation, Erlang Shen is really unlucky this time! The green-furred lion had lost ten times the amount of money he had earned in Wuji, and he had even been beaten by his uncle with eight hundred gold hammers. It could be said that he had lost both his wife and his soldiers!”
"There's more! There was more! I couldn't sleep last night and met God of Night. I heard from God of Night that an old monk recently appeared at the mouth of Erlang God's Guanjiang River and beat up Erlang God's Xiao Tianquan. He almost couldn't make it into fragrant meat!”Zhu Bajie was gloating. He didn't have a good impression of God Erlang either.
I laughed and scolded,"Stupid fat pig, you can't sleep too?" You sleep like a dead pig every day!"
Friar Sand explained on behalf of Zhu Bajie," Master, you may have wronged Second Brother. Last night was a full moon. Second Brother missed someone and definitely couldn't sleep!”
On the road to the west, there was a burst of laughter.
That day in Wuji Kingdom, with the help of someone who had the intention, I successfully pinned the crime of killing for money on Erlang Shen. After that, Taishang Laojun told me via voice transmission that Erlang Shen was beaten eight hundred times by his uncle Jade Emperor. He also compensated Manjusri ten times more. After Manjusri got the money, he split it with us and let me earn a small sum of money. The happiest thing was to create an opponent for Erlang Shen, an opponent who was no less sinister and vicious than him. In the future, Erlang Shen would suffer.
Because of riding a carriage, I hated encountering mountains the most. In this era, it was simply wishful thinking to ride a carriage across a mountain unless a group of demons carried my carriage across the mountain. The mountain in front of him was not high, but the peak was in the white clouds. The road was not rugged, but the valley could not be seen to the end. If he fell down, he would probably be able to report directly to Hades. It was really a good place to kill people for money and silence them.
"There's demonic qi!" Sun Wukong pointed at a red cloud in the sky and exclaimed.
"There? Where are the demons?" I was overjoyed. I finally didn't have to walk across the mountain.
The red cloud in the sky disappeared in an instant." Maybe it's a passing demon. Maybe it's a demon who passed by this mountain and didn't want to eat people, so it went straight away.”Sun Wukong explained.
"What a pity, Wukong. Are you sure there are no demons on this mountain?”I asked regretfully, but I didn't want to give up.
"I don't think so. Master, you can only get out of the car and walk.”Sun Wukong knew very well why I wanted to have monsters. At the same time, he cast a Levitation spell on the carriage so that the White Dragon Horse could easily drag the carriage up the mountain. Unfortunately, this spell was useless on the human body.
I panted as I climbed halfway up the mountain. I sat on a big rock and was no longer willing to move. "Wait, I'll rest for a while before leaving.”
"Master, have some water!" Zhu Bajie obediently handed over the water.
I took the water and gulped it down. Suddenly, I heard a cry,"Help!"”I was so scared that I choked.
"Cough cough, did anyone hear me call for help?”I asked as I coughed.
"I heard it. It seems to be a child.”Sun Wukong replied.
At this moment, the voice came again." Help! Who can save me!"
Friar Sand had a good heart." Master, Senior Brothers, let's go and take a look. Saving a life is better than building a seven-story pagoda."”
We followed the direction of the voice and found the person shouting for help in a pine forest. It was indeed a little boy, about eight or nine years old, hanging high on the top of a pine tree.
The little boy saw us." Master, Master, help!”
" Don't panic, I'll save you," the silly Monk Sand replied.
I pulled Friar Sand back." Wait, let's see what your Eldest Senior Brother has to say."”
"Master, you are wise. This child is a monster."
"Then let's go. On the account that he's a child, spare his life!”I pulled them away.
"Master, this is clearly a child. How can it be a demon?”Friar Sand insisted on saving the boy.
"I insulted Bajie by calling you a pig. When have your master and your eldest senior brother ever missed each other? Do you still remember the White Bone Demon and the Silver-horned King? They've all changed and want to eat your master's flesh.”I reprimanded Monk Sand.
After being scolded by me, Monk Sand lowered his head and followed us, ignoring the little monster boy.
"Stop, Tang Sanzang, how can you be so cruel? How dare you leave a child in the wilderness? You're an eminent monk of the Tang Empire, yet you don't save him!”A delicate girl's voice was heard.
Yo, her voice is so beautiful. She must be a beauty! I hurriedly turned my head to look. A cute young girl of twelve or thirteen years old was standing under the pine tree with a little boy hanging from it. She was wearing a light green muslin dress. She had shapely eyebrows and almond-shaped eyes. Her skin was fair and tender, and she was a complete beauty. She put her hands on her hips and pouted so much that she could hang oil bottles on her lips, trying her best to act like an adult.
F * ck, this little girl is really pretty. When she grows up, she will definitely be a beauty second only to Guanyin. No, even if he couldn't compare to Guanyin, he wouldn't be too far off. I suddenly had an impulse to snatch this little girl over and marry her when she grew up. No, this was a crime. He would be struck by lightning. The Monkey Kings and Guanyin would never agree to this.
I approached the little girl with a lewd smile and patted her head." Little girl, what's your name? How old are you? Why was there a person on the barren mountain? Come with big brother, big brother will buy you candy, big brother will send you home.”
The little girl was startled by my perverted actions and subconsciously took two steps back." Tang Sanzang, what do you want? Why didn't you save this child?”
"Little girl, don't be fooled by this child's appearance. He's a monster. He wants to eat big brother's flesh. You definitely don't want big brother to be eaten by a monster. Be good, big brother will take you home, lest the monster hurt you.”I restrained my expression. I should lay a good foundation now. It will be of great use in five years.
The little girl raised her cute little head to take a look." Nonsense, it's clearly a child. How is it a monster?”
The little boy on the tree also struggled and cried out," Sister, save me. I live five kilometers north of this mountain. I've been hung on a tree by bandits for three days and three nights. My name is Red Boy. I'm a good person. Sister, save me!”
Damn, he was still so energetic after hanging on a tree for three days and three nights? Red Boy, why does the name sound so familiar? I carefully recalled where I had heard this name before. I didn't notice Zhu Bajie and Monk Sand coming over." Hello, Seventh Princess.”The two bowed. Zhu Bajie added," Seventh Princess, how is your sister?”
"Hey, Marshal Canopy, Curtain General, if your master didn't save this child, why aren't you saving him?”The little girl actually knew Zhu Bajie and Friar Sand.
I tugged at Zhu Bajie." Zhu Bajie, do you know her? Which country's Seventh Princess is she? How many sisters does she have?" He thought, Alright, there's no need to wait if there's a ready-made one.”
"Of course she has sisters. She has six sisters, all of whom are as beautiful as flowers and jade. Every time I dream, other than dreaming of my wife, I only dream of Chang'e and them.”Zhu Bajie whispered.
When I heard that, my saliva immediately secreted vigorously." Tell me, who is she?”
"She's the Jade Emperor's seventh daughter. We all call her the Seventh Princess.”Zhu Bajie said.
F * ck, she was the Jade Emperor's daughter. This was troublesome. Her mother was the most difficult mother-in-law in the world!
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