Harry Potter and the False Prophet
13 the burrow

The legend

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"Ron!" Harry called quietly, creeping to the window and pushing it up so they could talk through the bars. "Bunce, how did you-weren't you traveling? -- What is this?"

Harry's jaw dropped when he saw what was before him. Ron was peering out of the back window of a turquoise car that was hovering in midair, where Bunce was sitting, smiling at him with Fred and George.

"How about it, Harry?"

"What happened?" said Ron."Why didn't you write back to me like Bunce said? I invited you nine times, and then my dad came back and said you'd been warned for using magic in front of Muggles.”

"It wasn't me-how did you know?”

"Bunce told me, and my father works at the Ministry, you know we can't use magic outside school-"

"Not necessarily. I've used it a few times and there's no problem. You guys are too stupid.”Bance said.

"What's wrong? Do you know how to crack it?" said Fred, suddenly interested.

"I don't know." Bance said.

"Then what else did you say?" George rolled his eyes.

"Let's not talk about that yet. I'll teach you when we get back.”Bance said.

"That's true, I'm sorry, Harry.”said Ron.

"It's nothing, could you please tell the school that the Dursleys have locked me up and won't let me go back to school? I obviously can't use magic to get out, because the Ministry will think I'm abusing magic again, so-"

"Cut the crap," said Ron."We're here to pick you up.”

"But you can't use magic.”

"We don't need to," said Ron, shaking his head toward the front row and smiling."You forget who I'm with.”

Fred tossed Harry a length of rope."Tie it to the bars.”

"If the Dursleys wake up, I'm dead.”said Harry, tying the rope securely to a bar as George started the car.

"Don't worry, Harry, stand back.”Bangs comforted.

Harry retreated into the shadows, close to Hedwig. It seemed to know the importance of this matter and remained motionless in the cage. The car's engine was growling louder and louder until suddenly, with a screech, the bars were pulled out by the roots, and George drove straight up into the sky-Ron and Fred were scuffling and dragging the window bars into the car.

The window bars were safely lowered into the seat next to Ron, and George reversed the car as close to Harry's window as possible.

"Get in the car, Harry," said Ron.

"But my school stuff, wands and broomsticks"

"Where?"

"It's locked in a cupboard under the stairs, I can't get out-"

"That's easy," said George.”

Fred and George climbed carefully through the window into Harry's room. George took out an ordinary hair clip from his pocket and began to pick the lock.

"A lot of wizards think it's a waste of time to learn Muggle tricks like this," said Fred,"but we think it's a skill too, albeit a bit slow.”

With a click, the door opened.

"Now-we'll go get your trunk-you pick up whatever you need and give it to Ron.”George whispered.

"Be careful of the bottom staircase, it'll ring.”Harry whispered.

Panting, the three of them finally carried the trunk upstairs and all the way to Harry's window. Fred climbed back into the trunk and pulled it with Ron and Bunce, while Harry and George pushed it from inside the room, the trunk sliding bit by bit out of the window.

"A little harder," Fred panted as he pulled."Give it a good shove."

Harry and George slammed their shoulders into the trunk, which slid through the window and into the back seat.

"Harry, don't forget your owl.”Bangs suddenly said.

"Oh, right." Harry scrambled back into the car with the cage.

"Alright, let's go!" said Fred.

"Let Hedwig out, Harry, she can fly behind us.”Bangs suggested.

Harry handed the cage to George, and a moment later Hedwig flew happily out of the window and glided like a ghost beside them.

"What happened to you? Harry." asked Ron.

Harry told them all about Dobby, the warning he had given Harry, the badly smashed pudding. After he finished, there was a long silence in the car.

"Very suspicious." said Fred.

" It's obviously very strange," George agreed." He won't even tell you who's planning this?”

"I don't think he can," said Harry."I was just saying, every time he's about to say something, he bangs his head against the wall.”

Bunce noticed Fred and George exchanging glances.

"What, do you think it's lying to me?”said Harry.

"It's possible," said Fred."House-elves can do great magic too, but they're generally not allowed to use it without their owners 'permission. I think Dobby's been sent to stop you from going back to school, someone's trying to make fun of you.”

"Don't jump to conclusions." Bance said.

"So what do you think it's here for?”asked Harry.

" It brings a friendly warning, although the way it does it is difficult to understand. However, I believe that you will understand in the future.”Bance said.

"What do you know? Why don't you say it out loud?" said Ron.

"I know a lot." Bance said.

"Say it. There's no point in pretending to be deep.”said George.

"It's not time yet. It's useless to say it now.”Bance said perfunctorily.

"Tsk, you don't know, do you?" said Fred aggressively.

"It doesn't matter. You can think whatever you want.”Bance said.

"Anyway, I'm glad we came to pick you up.”said Ron."If Bunce hadn't said you'd be fine, I'd have gone to get you. At first I thought it was Errol who was in trouble-"

"Who's Errol?"

"Our owl. It was old and had been exhausted when delivering letters in the past. So I wanted to borrow Hermes-"

"Who is it?"

"The owl Mum and Dad bought Percy when he became prefect.”said Fred from the front.

"But Percy wouldn't lend it to me," said Ron."Said he needed it for himself.”

"Percy's been very odd this summer," said George, frowning."He's been sending a lot of letters, and he's been cooped up in his room all the time. I don't get it, does a prefect badge have to be polished that many times? You're driving too far west, Fred.”He pointed at a compass on the dashboard. Fred turned the steering wheel.

"Do you know why Percy's so weird?”Bangs said with a smile.

"Why?" said the twins and Ron in unison.

"Because he's in love." Bance said.

"In a relationship?" George said," Someone will like him?”

"Trust me, he's writing to his girlfriend.”Bance said.

"No wonder." said Fred brightly.

"Does your father know that you drove the car out?”asked Harry.

"Oh, I don't know," said Ron."He's working overtime tonight. Hopefully we can sneak into the garage without Mom noticing.”

"The greater the hope, the greater the disappointment.”Bangs said comfortably as he leaned back in the backseat.

"A jinx." said George.

"What does your dad do at the Ministry, anyway?”

"He's in the most boring department," said Ron."The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Division.”

"What?" asked Harry.

"It's forbidden to use magic on Muggle-made things in case they return to Muggle shops or houses. Like last year, when an old witch died and her tea set was sold to an antique shop, a female Muggle bought it and went home to treat her friends to tea. It was a nightmare-Dad worked overtime for weeks.”

"What happened?" Harry went on.

"The teapot suddenly went crazy, hot tea spurted everywhere, and a man was admitted to the hospital with sugar tongs clamped on his nose. Dad was very busy, and there was only him and an old wizard called Perkins in the department. They had to use Memory Charms and all sorts of ways to cover it up."

"But this car."

Fred laughed. "Yeah, Dad's into everything Muggle, we've got a shed full of Muggle stuff. He took them apart, enchanted them, and put them back together. If he comes to my house, he'll have to arrest himself. Mom is going crazy because of this."

"I like your father very much. He is very humorous.”Bance said.

"I know you want to say that my father is a very funny person.”said Ron.

" That's the main road," George said, looking down through the windshield." We can get there in ten minutes. It's okay, it's almost dawn."

A faint red glow appeared on the eastern horizon.

Fred lowered the car a little, and Bunce saw a dark pattern of fields and clusters of trees.

"We're a bit outside the village," said George."Autrey St. Catchpole."

The car flew lower and lower, and a red sun had already appeared among the trees.

"Landing!" Fred shouted, and the car jerked slightly and hit the ground. They landed next to a dilapidated garage, surrounded by a small yard. Bunce looked again at Ron's wonderful house.

It seemed to have been a large stone pigsty, but rooms had been added here and there, and it was several stories high, crooked, as if it had been put up by magic. There were four or five chimneys on the red roof, and a slanted sign in front of the house read "The Burrow." Beside the door were some high-top leather boots and a rusty cauldron. A few fat brown chickens were pecking at food in the yard.

"I don't think so." said Ron.

"That's great." said Harry happily.

"It's indeed not bad. Every time I look at it, it feels different.”Bance said.

Everyone got out of the car.

"Now, let's go upstairs quietly," said Fred,"and wait for Mum to call us for breakfast. Then Ron had bounded downstairs and said,"Mom, look who's here!" She'll be so happy to see Harry, no one will know we're using a car.”

"Don't be so naive, Fred.”Bance said.

"Bance, why do you keep saying…"

Ron went green and stared straight in the direction of the house as the other three turned.

Mrs. Weasley was hurrying across the yard, and the chickens were fleeing. He had to admit that a chubby, kind-looking woman like her actually looked like a tiger with sharp teeth.

"Ah!" said Fred.

"Heavens, Bangs was right." said George.

Mrs. Weasley stopped in front of them, arms akimbo, examining the guilty faces one by one. She was wearing a flowery apron with a wand in the pocket.

"Sure." she said.

"Good morning, Mom." George said in what he thought was the most relaxed and adorable tone.

"Do you know how anxious I was?”said Mrs. Weasley in a frighteningly low voice.

"I'm sorry, Mum, but we've got to-"

All three of Mrs. Weasley's sons were taller than she was, but they were all trembling when her anger flared.

"The bed is empty! No note! The car is gone, and there might be a car accident. I'm so worried that I'm going crazy. Have you thought about it? Bunce's gone, too. I've never seen your father come home and do anything to you in my life. Bill, Charlie, and Percy never did.”

"Model Percy," muttered Fred.

"You should learn from him!" shouted Mrs. Weasley, prodding Fred in the chest."You could've died, you could've been seen, you could've ruined your father's job-"

After what seemed like hours, Mrs. Weasley shouted herself hoarse before she turned to Harry, who Bunce noticed took two steps back.

"I'm glad to see you, dear Harry, and you-Bunce, you shouldn't be messing around with them.”She said," Come in and have some breakfast first.”

She turned back into the room, Bunce following behind them.

The kitchen was small and rather cramped, with a clean wooden table and a few chairs in the middle. Bunce was sitting in his chair, his butt barely sticking to the side.

Mrs. Weasley was making breakfast. She tossed the sausages carelessly into the frying pan, throwing angry looks at her sons from time to time and muttering,"I don't know what you're thinking.”"I really can't believe it."

"I don't blame you, dear," She soothed him by pouring the sausage onto his plate. We were saying last night that if you didn't write back to Ron, we'd come and get you ourselves. But-"(She added three large poached eggs to his plate, and Bunce looked at the two smaller ones on his plate, then at Ron's smaller one, and sighed secretly.)"Flying halfway across the country in an illegal car-anyone could have seen you-"

She pointed her wand randomly at the dishes in the sink, and they began to wash themselves, tinkling like background music.

"It's not good, Mom!" said Fred.

"Don't talk while eating!" snapped Mrs. Weasley.

"They won't feed him, Mum!”said George.

"You shut up too!" said Mrs. Weasley, though her expression softened slightly as she began to cut and butter everyone's bread.

At this moment, a little red-haired person in pajamas ran into the kitchen, screamed, and ran out again.

"Ginny," Ron whispered."My sister." She's been talking about you all summer."

"Yeah, she wants your autograph, Harry.”said Fred, smiling.

"Why didn't anyone ask me for an autograph? Harry, you're really good at killing young and old.”Bangs joked.

George was about to reply when Mrs. Weasley looked at him, and he immediately buried his head in his food and stopped talking. The few of them remained silent, and in a short while, the five plates were swept clean.

"Ah, I'm so tired," said Fred, putting down his knife and fork."I think I'm going to bed-"

"No," said Mrs. Weasley harshly."You asked for it, didn't you? Now, you're going to clear the garden of goblins. They're out of control again."

"Oh, Mom-"

"And you two." she said, glaring at Ron and Fred. She turned to Harry again,"You can go to bed with Bunce, dear, you didn't tell them to drive that old car.”

"No, Mrs. Weasley, I'd better go help Ron.”Bance said.

"I'll go too. I've never seen how to clear out gnomes.”Harry echoed.

"Good boy, but it's boring work.”said Mrs. Weasley."Now, let's see what Lockhart has to say.”

She pulled a large, thick book from the mantelpiece, and George groaned.

"Mom, we all know how to get rid of the gnomes in the garden.”

Bangs saw that the cover of the book had the words written in gilded calligraphy: Gilderoy Lockhart teaches you how to rid your house of pests. There was a large photograph under the title of the book of a very handsome wizard with curly blond hair and bright blue eyes. All pictures in the Wizarding world moved, and the wizard in the picture was winking at them. Mrs. Weasley was smiling down at him.

"Oh, he's amazing." He said," He knows about the pests in his house. It's a good book."

"Mom worships him." said Fred in a low, but audible voice.

"Don't talk nonsense, Fred," Mrs. Weasley's face went red."Well, if you think you know better than Lockhart, go ahead. But if I find another gnome in the garden when I check, you'll see.”

The Weasleys yawned and grumbled as they lolled out of the room, Harry and Bunce trailing behind. It was a large garden, overgrown with weeds that needed cutting-but the walls were surrounded by tangled trees, and all sorts of plants he had never seen before were growing in every flowerbed, and there was a large green pond full of frogs.

"There are gnomes in Muggle gardens, you know.”said Harry as they crossed the lawn.

"Ah, I've seen stuff Muggles think are goblins," said Ron, bending over and burying his head in the peony bushes."Like a chubby little Santa Claus with a fishing rod."

There was a violent struggle, the branches of the peony tree trembled, and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome." he said with a straight face.

"Let me go! Let me go!" The gnome screamed.

It was nothing like Santa Claus. It had a small body, rough and tough skin, and a bald, round head that looked like a potato. Ron stretched out his arm to lift it, as it kicked and kicked at him with its callused little feet. He grabbed it by the ankle and lifted it upside down.

"You have to do this." he said, lifting the goblin over his head ("Let me go!”),He began to swing his arms in large circles like a lasso. Seeing Harry's startled expression, Ron said,"It won't hurt them-you'll have to spin them so they can't find the goblin hole.”

"Wow, Harry-you must've been fifty feet there"

The garden was soon filled with Gnomes.

"See, they're not very clever," said George to Bangs, grabbing half a dozen of them."They came over to see when they heard they were clearing out the goblins, and they haven't learned to be clever yet.”

Soon, the group of gnomes in the field walked away in a sparse line, shrugging their small shoulders.

"They'll be back," said Ron, as they watched the gnomes disappear into the hedges at the other end of the field."They like it here. Dad's too lenient with them. He thinks they're funny."

At this moment, the door slammed.

"I'm back!" said George.”

They hurried back through the garden.

Mr. Weasley slumped into the kitchen chair, his glasses off and closed. He was a thin, balding man, but his remaining hair was as red as his children's. He was wearing a long green robe and looked travel-worn.

"What a night!" he muttered, reaching for the teapot as the children sat down beside him. "I searched nine houses. Old Mundungus Fletcher tried to put a spell on me when I turned around."

Mr. Weasley took a big gulp of tea and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did you find anything, Dad?”said Fred eagerly.

"Just a few shrunken keys and a biting kettle.”said Mr. Weasley, yawning."There's some very troublesome stuff, but it's not my department's responsibility. He was taken in for questioning, but that's for the Committee on Experimental Charms, thank God."

"Why would someone make a shrinking key?”said George.

"To make fun of Muggles," sighed Mr. Weasley."Sell a Muggle a key, and the key will shrink until it's gone, so you can't find it when you need it. Of course, that's hard to convince anyone, because no Muggle will admit that their key is shrinking-they'll insist that they've lost it. These Muggles, they'll always turn a blind eye to magic, even if it's right in front of them, but the things our people have enchanted, you can't believe it-"

"Like cars, right?"

Mrs. Weasley came in, holding a poker as though it were a sword. Mr. Weasley's mouth fell open and he looked guiltily at his wife.

"C-cars, Molly, dear?”

"Yes, Arthur, the car," Mrs. Weasley's eyes were burning."Think about it. A wizard buys a rusty old car and tells his wife he just wants to take it apart to see what's inside, when in fact he's magically turned it into a flying car.”

Mr. Weasley winked comically.

"Well, dear, I think you'll find that he's not breaking the law, although he might have told his wife the truth beforehand. There's a loophole in the law, and you'll find that as long as he doesn't intend to fly it, the fact that it can fly doesn't-"

"Arthur Weasley, you left a loophole in your law!”yelled Mrs. Weasley."Just so I could drum up some Muggle stuff in your shed! I tell you, Harry came here this morning in the car you weren't planning to fly in!”

"Harry?" said Mr. Weasley blankly."Which Harry? I think it was just Bunce.”

He looked around, saw Harry, and jumped to his feet.

"Merlin, is that Harry Potter? It's great to see you, Ron's told us so much about you-"

"Your son flew over to Harry's house in that car last night to fetch him!”shouted Mrs. Weasley."What do you have to say?”

"Really?" said Mr. Weasley quickly. "I-I mean," he said quickly, seeing the fire in Mrs. Weasley's eyes,"this is very wrong, boys, very, very wrong."

Mrs. Weasley puffed out her chest like a bullfrog. "Let them argue," said Ron quietly."Let's go to sleep."

"Indeed, I'm a little sleepy." said Bunce, as he went up the stairs.

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