Even when I had finished my work and had nothing to do, I always had a vague feeling that time was flying. I could not let any time pass in vain. he recalled later. Indeed, ever since Second Lieutenant Napoleon came to Valence, he rarely had the time to look at the world outside the regiment. During the five years of tension in the regiment, there were only four things in his mind day and night: His career as an artillery officer had been plagued by financial problems for his mother and family since his father's death. His continued study and further studies saved Corsica from the shackles of the French. Although it was the first time in his life that he had spent a few hours socializing, being introduced to a noble lady's salon to find a suitable husband for his daughter, it was only occasionally. He had indeed pursued a young girl, but he had returned empty-handed. Therefore, he dismissed this thought and wrote to his mother," Mother has already spent enough. I can't make things worse for you. I can't imitate my colleagues 'foolish behavior of having fun here. On the other hand, he did not have a suitable future, and it was impossible for the ladies to choose him as their future son-in-law. Just like that, because he had no background, he decided to end his daydream of marrying the daughter of a rich family. Napoleon always meant what he said. In this way, apart from cannon training, from November 1785 to September 1786, Napoleon spent most of his time in Valence in the noisy little room above the café where he lived. From time to time, in his experience, his thoughts would naturally take a morbid turn. After years of loneliness, I thought of suicide in deep contemplation. He wrote, thinking not of his father's death but of himself. What emotion made me think of the desire to destroy myself? He asked himself. It's undoubtedly because I can't see my place in this world, right? This was a question that many young people like him would ask themselves, and it was also the answer. But for Napoleon, the complete disappointment of the future made him disheartened. As the lowest of the aristocracy and a foreigner, he felt that his career in the French army was bleak. Since I'm going to die sooner or later, why not end my own life? When he thought of his inability to save his country, which had been conquered by the French, he came to this conclusion: My fellow countrymen are still shackled by the non-humankind…How can I return to my hometown? When a person's motherland no longer existed, there was only one thing for a true patriot to do, and that was to die.
However, Napoleon did not surrender to death. Instead, he was saved by his own inner drive, extraordinary talent, and curiosity for answers. In the next few years, not only did he continue to read greedily, but he also wrote dozens of books with abstracts and insights, and later he would put them into action.
Napoleon read a lot without eating or sleeping. Considering his family background and lack of formal education, the many books he repeatedly read, the thick stack of reading notes he wrote, and the subjects he covered were perhaps beyond the reach of any French officer. He studied the works of the 18th century British Prime Minister Walpole and wrote his opinions on the complete reorganization of the Lafaire Legion. He wrote four papers on modern artillery technology and its development, including advice to his commanders. He analyzed Platon's The Republic. He studied the ancient Persian government in depth; He studied more about the geography, history, and government of ancient Greece, including battles and other things. Then, he tirelessly turned to study ancient Egypt, Carthage, and even Assyria. At the same time, he did not forget to write a paper titled "The Philosophy and Political History of European Commercial Development in the East and West Indies." Napoleon had a keen interest in England, had studied it for a long time, and had an amazing understanding of its history and constitution-making process (how different the British were from the rest of Europe, he remembered). He had always been passionate about Frederick the Great of Prussia, analyzing eighteenth-century works such as Abbe Marigny's History of Arabia under the Caliph and Amelot de la Houssaie's Government of Venice. He studied Machiavelli in detail, including his History of Florence. Napoleon continued to study the history of the nobility and even studied an ancient theological college established in the 13th century in Sorbonne. Inspired by this, he wrote a paper,"My Thoughts on the Primordial State," in which he analyzed happiness and its symbols. His seemingly endless curiosity did not diminish at all. He turned to study the Inca Empire and Cortés 'conquest of Montezuma. His reading notes filled one book after another, and he always returned to the study of Greece, especially the ideas of the great Greek politician, Acibiades, and of course, to that of the great Greek statesman, and of course, of the great Greek statesman.
I was once in love, and now I realize that love is absurd, in fact worse, Napoleon emphasized. I deny that true love exists. Indeed, I even think that love is harmful to society and destroys personal happiness. The cynical second lieutenant wrote. Therefore, in short, I believe that love has more disadvantages than advantages. Love brings incomparable pleasure, but, he said, it may lead to greater pain. Then, through inference, Napoleon combined love with his historical views on religion: The development and formation of religion comforted the unfortunate people in the world, so that religion could enslave the people of this world forever. Napoleon called it the Kingdom of Monks, and he said that this kingdom might never fall.
In a depressed and frustrated mood, Napoleon scribbled down a large number of manuscripts that even he himself could not read the next morning. Between 1786 and 1791, he wrote countless articles, including detailed, mathematical suggestions for improving emplacement and ballistae for generals such as Baron de Tell.
Napoleon also studied ways to reduce the cost of transporting shells between arsenals. Tell had left a deep impression on this unusual junior officer and would never forget him.
Just like that, while the other officers were drinking, gambling, and howling in the café downstairs or in the regimental station, Napoleon was reading late at night. The light in his cubicle never seemed to go out, and he was still full of energy the next day. He studied the geography of Switzerland and the history of Turkey, the government of India, and the religion of the Aztecs. His thirst for knowledge was insatiable.
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