[New York, United States, Construction Site]
"Look! " This part should be like this…" Chu Lian gathered with some people and pointed at the blueprint.
Chu Lian had not slept for a few days. During the day, he would command the construction site. During the four to five hours of his day when he could take a nap, he would still work on his last proposal in the simple hut built at the construction site. His originally clear eyes were now bloodshot, and stubble had grown on his originally clean and handsome face. His originally round face was gradually becoming thinner, and his cheekbones were gradually protruding. What was worse was that he often had a stomachache. It was no wonder that he had not eaten normally for a long time.
Chu Lian wanted to be busy to fill his empty life. I want to be busy, to occupy my thoughts; She wanted to be busy and squeeze out the person she shouldn't miss from her mind. However, had he really achieved his goal? His resolute brows were still furrowed, as if he was expressing his pain and exposing all his plans.
"Chu Lian! Chu Lian!" A woman's voice came from below the building.
Chu Lian was shocked. What a familiar feeling, as if it was a lifetime ago. He still remembered that it had been more than three years. He still remembered that Zi Ling had come to the construction site to look for him. He still remembered that she had called him downstairs. He still remembered that she had risked her life to run up to see him and perform such a thrilling walk. He still remembered that day when he took her to the Dream Seeking Lake... Strange, he had said that he did not miss her. Why did he miss her again? Everything around him, even a cup, a small shop, a back view, a smell, would bring back his memories. Why would there be memories of her everywhere? He couldn't escape or wipe it off! Chu Lian was stunned and at a loss.
"Chu Lian? Chu Lian? Are you up there?" The girls 'voices sounded anxious.
"What? Ah! Yes." Chu Lian came back to his senses from his wild thoughts. He walked to the side of the building and looked downstairs. It was Yahua. The 20-story building made everything below seem so small.
"I'll go up!" Yahua shouted.
"Wait a moment, I'll go down after I'm done!”Chu Lian shouted.
However, neither of them heard the other's shout.
Chu Lian came over to explain the work. "Alright, I'll go down for a while. I'll leave this to you!”Chu Lian said to the other people in charge.
"Chu Lian!" Yahua's voice came from behind.
"Sigh! Why did you come up? Didn't I say I'm going down?" Chu Lian turned around and saw Yahua holding a lunch box in her hand." Don't move! That bridge is very dangerous. I'll go and pick you up.”Chu Lian said worriedly.
"Aren't you underestimating me? It's not like I haven't taken on such projects before. I've done this kind of bridge construction every day. Have you forgotten that I'm an engineer too? Moreover! My building is taller than yours!" Yahua skillfully and steadily walked past the trembling bridge and walked over.
"I've been very busy these past few days and couldn't find the time to visit you. Well, I just finished a mission at hand and came to see you. How is it? Can you take it?" Yahua asked as she and Chu Lian sat down at a corner of the construction site.
"It's pretty good. I can handle it." Chu Lian answered mechanically. He did not look into Yahua's eyes, but Yahua still saw him.
"Look at you. You still say you can take it. Your eyes are bloodshot and scary. You haven't shaved your beard. You're completely different from the energetic you used to be!”Yahua said, half blaming and half worried. Chu Lian did not answer her. Yahua looked at him and didn't say anything else. She sighed and asked," Have you eaten?”
"I…am not hungry." Chu Lian said weakly.
"What do you mean by not hungry!" Yahua said angrily. Actually, she was not very surprised because she had already expected it. Otherwise, she would not have brought food up. "Here, this is your favorite Pan-Fried Pork Bun. I specially bought it for you from Tian Chao Restaurant.”Yahua handed the lunch box and chopsticks to Chu Lian.
" Pan-Fried Pork Bun…" Chu Lian thought silently." I still remember the Pan-Fried Pork Bun that Zi Ling brought for me when she came to the construction site last time. I still remember that it fell downstairs!" Heavens! Why do I even think of Zi Ling when I'm talking about Pan-Fried Pork Bun? No!" Chu Lian shook his head desperately as he thought of this, as if he wanted to get rid of the image of Zi Ling from his mind.
"Chu Lian! What's wrong with you?" Yahua panicked.
"Ah?" Chu Lian came back to his senses and suddenly realized that Yahua was still sitting beside him. He quieted down and sat there with a pained expression, not saying a word.
"At least eat a little.”Yahua seemed to be begging Chu Lian to eat.
"Alright, I'll do it. Thank you." Chu Lian couldn't refuse. He slowly picked up a pan-fried bun with his chopsticks and took a bite. The fragrance spread everywhere.
Such delicious food was tasteless in Chu Lian's mouth…
After sending Yahua off, the sky gradually darkened. The construction site gradually became less crowded. The construction stopped and everything was silent. At this time every day, Chu Lian had to return to his temporary hut at the construction site to study the proposal. Today, he came down from the building and thought about it before buying a bottle of wine.
When he returned to the cottage, there was nothing to eat except for the bottle of wine. He opened the cap and took a big gulp.
Ever since he came to the United States, he had been working hard. His huge achievements made others envious and his leaders admire him, but all these honors did not cause him any joy. He kept himself busy just to wash away the person in his heart that he should not think of.
He sat down on the simple wooden bed and leaned against the wall, drinking mouthful after mouthful of wine. His eyes were empty and powerless as he looked at a certain spot.
No one could understand him, no one could understand the pain in his heart.
"Zi Ling, I know you're doing very well now. I wonder if you've thought about me while you're living a happy life? " I don't need to miss you. I just need to remember you. It won't take long, even if it's just for a second…Perhaps, it hasn't even been a second…" Chu Lian drank the wine in one gulp after another and muttered to himself," I originally thought that knowing that you were happy was my greatest wish. As long as you were happy, I would be very happy. I thought that I could let go of you freely and love you silently in my heart for the rest of my life. I would smile and wish you well. However, when I really did it, I realized how painful my heart was.
I know where you are, but I can't find you, call you, or e-mail you. Every time I'm on Messenger, I'll hold the mouse in my hand and move the mouse to your profile picture, but I don't dare to click it. Perhaps letting the mouse move a few times on your profile picture is a gift from fate to me.
Did you know? I'm in so much pain right now, so much pain. I want to occupy my thoughts by being busy, but everything reminds me of you. You're probably smiling blissfully right now, aren't you? Perhaps she was dreaming in Yunfan's arms?
I'm now in this place where I've left my hometown, looking at the sky. I don't know if I'm looking in the direction of your current home. I am now in this cold and damp house, alone. Love has left me, and the world has left me. I don't know, I don't know what life is for. Alone, like me? Suddenly, he felt like he was abandoned by the world. He felt like he was incompatible with the world and had nothing to do with it. He suddenly questioned the meaning of life. What was the purpose of living? From the looks of it, there was nothing to be nostalgic about in life. To me, there was no yearning, no dreams, no temptation.
Of course, I still have my parents and brothers. I thought, if I wasn't worried about them, perhaps I would let myself leave this world full of pain. I can't die. If I die, Mom and Dad won't bear to see me die. Perhaps this is the only place I miss.
Zi Ling, is this fate?”
Chu Lian drank the wine in mouthful after mouthful. He had not eaten for a few days, and his stomach had a slight sore. The pain under the effect of alcohol was simply unbearable. However, Chu Lian continued to drink the wine mouthful by mouthful. Perhaps he wanted to distract himself from the pain in his body. As he muttered the words that had been suppressed in his heart, tears gradually flowed down from the corners of his eyes. It was said that a man would not shed tears easily, but it was not until the point of sadness that such a heavy emotional injury would cause even the strongest man to shed tears.
Under the effect of alcohol, Chu Lian's vision gradually blurred. The empty bottle slipped from his hand and fell to the ground. With a " pa " sound, it shattered into pieces. The shattered glass on the floor was like Chu Lian's shattered heart. Chu Lian gradually fell asleep. He was drunk and could not sleep well. He called out the name that he had thought of day and night over and over again,
" Zi Ling…Zi…Ling…Zi Ling…"
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。