After that afternoon with Vice-Principal Song Ke, Yang Xiuzhu felt that she really couldn't live her days anymore. In the past, she would hear the exciting bell every morning, but now it suddenly became shocking. Moreover, it had an invisible binding and oppressive power. In the past, the clean air and the sound of reading books made her extremely happy and comfortable. Now, it suddenly seemed so distant and unfamiliar. The teacher who came out of the classroom with a textbook and a chalk box, and the students who shouted, shouted, and jumped after class suddenly seemed rather inexplicable.
Even on the way home, Yang Xiuzhu felt like she was in a daze. It was as if the world was full of bad people. She even felt that living like this was better than dying. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that her child was still so young, she really wanted to die. She was obviously less talkative. She would only sit in the corner without saying a word during meetings. Long Xiaoming wanted to talk to her a few times, but she ignored him.
If someone asked her what life was, she would definitely say that life was better dead than alive.
Just like that, a few days passed, and she still couldn't lift her spirits in class. She looked at the group of innocent children and then saw a few beautiful little faces. She wondered if they would have stories like hers in the future.
Long Xiaoming thought that she wasn't feeling well, so he asked her to take a few days off to rest.
On this day, Li Zheng, the deputy secretary of the school committee, called Yang Xiuzhu over. He said that the school leaders had decided to give her 200 yuan as a living allowance considering her low salary and heavy family burden. She understood the reason behind the 200 yuan and decisively stuffed the 200 yuan back.
"Teacher Yang, everyone knows your difficulties. Just accept it.”Li Zheng said.
"It's not difficult for me!"
"Since the school leader has decided to give it to you, just accept it. If you don't accept the money, Song Ke will give it to someone else. It's not that I want to lecture you, but don't try to stand up straight these days. It's useless. Maybe people will say you're stupid.”In the past few years, Li Zheng had been nothing more than a decoration. He had always wanted to talk to the old principal and Secretary Zhang, but these two old fellows were old and about to retire. They did not want to offend Song Ke at all. In other words, Song Ke had become the real owner of No. 4 High School. He had given Wang Li Li a senior title, introduced her to the party, and promoted her step by step. Now, he asked him to take care of Yang Xiuzhu and see if she was in any trouble. Of course, he knew what Song Ke meant. He couldn't disobey now, nor did he dare to. In addition, he had aged a few years and had no backing. His mentality was much calmer. He did not have such a strong desire to compete with Song Ke for the principal position.
If Song Ke didn't have a brother-in-law in the Education Bureau, you wouldn't even be a fart. Who knows, I might even be the vice-principal now? However, he could only keep these words in his heart.
Hearing Li Zheng's words, Yang Xiuzhu considered it for a moment and took the money. At that moment, she thought about many things. Anyway, I don't want this money. I'll give it to someone else. I didn't get a first-grade teacher evaluation and caused so much trouble. It's unfair enough. It's a waste not to take it!
When she got home, she didn't have the courage to touch the money because she felt that the money was dirty. When she accidentally thought of the scene at Song Ke's house, she felt wronged. But who could he tell about this? After so many years, she had also understood that Song Ke was the real master of No. 4 High School.
It was Sunday. She had planned to visit her father in her hometown that day, but she had forgotten about it. On this day, Honghong wanted to go to the park to play. After Yang Xiuzhu served her mother-in-law, she led Honghong out of the house.
She had not been to the park for more than a year. Although she had passed by it many times, she did not have the mood to go in for a walk because she felt that the best couple in the park would bring their children along. Besides, she was afraid of loneliness. She also hoped that there would be a man by her side to dote on her and take care of her. However, in reality, with her personality, education, and age, she had never come into contact with real society. She felt that she shouldn't be like this, so she could only keep herself in solitude and loneliness and refused to come out. She was like a widow in the old society, longing for love but afraid of love. But what was the difference between her and a widow in the old society?
A young woman who had been married for four years, especially a normal woman, could only endure loneliness when her husband was away. However, no matter how lonely she was, she could not accept Song Ke. She had no choice but to have sex with Song Ke. She hated Song Ke. It was this ugly man who made her feel humiliated. She felt that she had let down her husband, Jiang Mingyang. Shame was heavy and dark, as if someone had branded it in her heart, and she could not erase it. However, after two months, the first time she had sex with a man had awakened the need to sleep. The hibernation woke up in the spring, and this awakening brought with it the power that had been accumulated for a long time and was difficult to suppress. For the next few days, she dreamed that she was sharing a bed with a man who was both familiar and strange to her. At night, they hugged each other and the other kept entering her body. They were moaning uncontrollably and sometimes even woke her daughter up. Every time she had this dream, she would feel ashamed and criticize it, but she could not stop the urge to be lonely and need to be caressed.
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