This chapter is Mo Ying's monologue. Kisses that you don't like can be skipped without affecting the plot process ~
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I'm a wanderer. I've been to many places and left many places. I don't like to wander, but I have no choice but to do so.
When people calm down, they will let their imagination run wild, just like me. All these years, I've always been afraid of being quiet. I'm used to living alone, but that doesn't mean I'm used to being lonely. Every day, I would sing in a place filled with feasts and see people coming and going below the stage, young couples, strangers, him, her, them, they…others would watch me perform below the stage, and I would watch others perform on stage. There were many plays that were played every day. It was like the world. After being together for a long time, they would break up, and after being apart for a long time, they would think about being together.
But I don't dare to think about it. I can't forget it yesterday, and I won't be able to see it tomorrow. People who always think about the past have no future. I thought that I was a person without a future. No matter how disappointed my parents were in me, I couldn't change it.
I forced myself not to think about her, not to think about whether she was doing well, whether she was happy, whether she was happy. I was afraid that love would be too selfish and that I would not be able to see her live too well. I would be like a fool, suffering from lovesickness and pain every night.
Until I met her.
I never thought that my heart would waver again. I thought that one love had burned all the passion in my life, leaving only an empty shell swaying in my chest.
She wasn't special at all. She didn't stand out in the crowd. If I had to say what was different about her, it would be an inexplicable sense of familiarity. The moment I met her eyes, I actually had the illusion that I was seeing her in the past.
This illusion was quite wrong. I couldn't help but wonder if I had gone mad because I missed her too much and thought that everyone was her. But they were clearly two completely different people!
I still remember the first time I saw her. Only then did I truly understand that love doesn't have to be complete to be happy.
On the day we met, I wasn't in a good state. I walked out of the bar in a daze and tripped over a pebble on the road. My body tilted and scraped her car.
I think that if not for that trip, I would never have been able to experience that unforgettable emotion in my life, and I would never have been able to understand what true love is.
The girl was very magnanimous. Not only was she not angry, she even suggested sending me back. I didn't know what she was thinking. She looked even weaker than me. She wasn't afraid that I was a bad person, so she invited a stranger into her car.
What was even stranger was me, a person who never took the initiative to talk to others. Although it was my fault for scratching her car, I actually agreed to her invitation and really let her send me home.
That day, I must have been possessed. When I got home at night, I thought, lying in bed, fiddling with the moonlight that occasionally ran into my room, ready to start my daily routine of missing each other. But strangely, her mind was filled with her just now. She said that I was lonely. Yes, I was lonely. Although I was always afraid of loneliness, loneliness would not stop pestering me just because I was afraid. I felt very uneasy. I had met many people in the past few years, and I had encountered many confessions. They only saw my appearance and my songs. They knew nothing else, let alone see through me. They think I'm acting cool and I'm cold. If I can, I'd rather keep pretending. At the very least, he wouldn't be hurt if he wasn't seen through, right? However, that inconspicuous girl actually did it. Although she had a smile on her face, there was no smile in her eyes. If she wasn't lonely, how could she see through my disguise?
Thinking of this, my mood improved slightly. I would get tired if I thought too much about things. This was the first time I forgot my routine homework and fell asleep.
The next day, I saw her again. For some reason, I rarely remember other people's faces, but I remember her. She likes my songs too, right? It's not narcissism. People with ability have the right to be narcissistic. Her seat wasn't very close to the stage, but my eyes were very good and I saw her at a glance. He remembered that he had a good night's sleep because of her, so he gave her a smile when he got off the stage. Seeing her in a daze, I turned around and laughed even harder.
After that, he often saw her. She was different from the others. She usually just listened quietly. Almost every time, she would sit in the corner of the bar counter, light a cigarette, and drink a small glass of wine. I thought she was a cold person.
However, I quickly rejected this wrong view. That day, the people from the Fiery Age came again. They couldn't keep an eye on their own woman, so they came to find trouble with others. I've always chosen to ignore such people. Coincidentally, she had also seen it, and her face was full of interest.
I saw the half-smile on her face and suddenly felt a little angry, so I made a move. Since someone was willing to watch the show, I didn't mind putting on another show. It wasn't difficult to take down those guys who were neither male nor female. Although they were men, their strength and speed were slower than women. At the very least, they weren't my match. Even if they had more people, they wouldn't be able to gain an advantage.
Of course, I also saw that brick. I originally wanted to wait for her to get close before dealing with her. Unexpectedly, the person who had been watching the show from the side became anxious first and shouted as he rushed over. I was very surprised. I turned around and saw the worry in her eyes. It didn't seem like she was pretending. I'm not a magnanimous person, but I'm not stingy either. Although her actions were a little unnecessary, I still had to thank her. I smiled at her, but I didn't expect to cause her to get hurt.
When I sent her back, I actually didn't know what I was thinking. I just felt a warm body on my back. I suddenly felt that it wasn't a bad thing to have a burden on my shoulders. At least it made me feel at ease.
She was very brave. Although the injury was not too serious, it was inevitable that it hurt. There was some blood, and it was very eye-catching. I helped her bandage her wound. It was already late at night. She was extremely tired and did not forget about her safety. She suggested that I stay for the night. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Was she too naive or too confident? Although they knew each other, it wasn't to the point where she could stay at home for the night without worry, right? Or perhaps, she really just treated me as an ordinary woman.
Forget it, I won't think too much about it. I'll stay. Only then did I realize that the distance between her house and mine was actually very far. One was in the east, and the other was in the west. That day, she specially sent me off. I smiled. In my eyes, this girl was starting to look cute.
In the middle of the night, she cried. Her leg cramps were not a big deal. The main thing was that she was injured. It was rare for me to be so patient as to massage her. However, I later understood that she wasn't crying because of her wound. It was just a dream. She clutched the corner of the blanket tightly, trembling from time to time and biting her lips tightly. I couldn't hear what she was mumbling, but I knew it wasn't a good dream. I thought about it and didn't know what to do to make her sleep better. Suddenly, I remembered when I had nightmares when I was young, my mother hugged me to sleep. I hesitated. I had never been close to others. It was really difficult for me to hug a stranger to sleep. But she helped me out. A voice in my head said,'Alright, I'll be a good person to the end.' I reached out and gently hugged her.
A night is very short, and I slept even less than that. When she woke up, she was sleeping soundly, so I was relieved. He thought that he should prepare breakfast for her before leaving. He didn't expect her to be awake when he came back. She was still in good spirits. Perhaps it was because I saw that the results of the night were not bad, my mood was also very good. What was even more rare was that someone accompanied me to eat a simple breakfast. She is a very easily satisfied person. Millet porridge is very common, but seeing how she eats so happily, I suspect that I bought some exotic delicacies. I had to admit that she had been doing things that surprised me, and I was no longer cold to her.
However, this feeling did not last long. Her boyfriend came. She could tell that her boyfriend cared about her a lot, even a little too much. She must have thought the same.
I don't know why, but when I saw the intimate actions between her and her boyfriend, I felt an inexplicable feeling in my heart. I turned my face away and didn't want to look at her anymore.
Since the main person is here, I'd better give up my position. But not long after I walked, I realized that the earrings were gone. The earrings were bought five years ago and were given to each of us by her past self. She should have thrown them away, but I still kept them as a memento. Once I touched them, I couldn't forget the lesson and didn't dare to take any more risks. I looked around but didn't find anything. I recalled that I probably dropped it at her house.
I went back and found her very quickly. She must be curious, but she didn't ask any more questions. I didn't say anything either. However, her eyes accidentally caught a glimpse of a little yellow at the end of the bed, and she felt uncomfortable. Yes, I'm a bit of a clean freak. It's not serious, but it's a little higher than the average person's standards. He simply helped her change the bedsheets before leaving.
Leaning against the door, I pinched my ear stud and felt a little regretful. Why did I bring it back? How much more time do I have to sacrifice for the past? Another three years? He hadn't thought of her for two days, right? Was this considered an improvement? Perhaps, I always thought that I wouldn't be able to forget. I never thought that time could really make me forget. I was just doing what I thought I was doing. I didn't expect that it didn't exist anymore. Everything was just my wishful thinking.
I paused for a moment and decided to try tomorrow. It was good to reminisce about the past, but it was stupid to be sad.
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Qian Mo, fresh flowers and recommendations ~ Please support me ~
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