It was already late when he returned home, and the living room was dim. In the darkness, Lucia sat on the sofa.
I turned on the lights. "What's wrong?" He patted Lucia's head gently. She looked dejected.
"That damned brat!" Lucia complained to me viciously about how awkward and ungrateful Ichigo was, as if she had hit a big nail in his cold face.
" Because he's in a bad mood today…" I said helplessly.
"So what? Why should we accommodate him when he's in a bad mood…Speaking of which, why is he in a bad mood?”
Because of her mother, because she felt weak, and all sorts of other things…
After hearing what I said, Lucia sulked and said," Ah, that's his own business. I just wanted to comfort him. I shouldn't ignore other people's good intentions when I'm in a bad mood."
He clearly regretted it a little, but he was just being stubborn. I smiled and patted her head, saying,"Let's go see him and reconcile."
No way! Lucia crossed her arms and tilted her nose. "I'm going to take a shower! That damned brat froze to death. The moment he got home, he laid on the bed and pretended to be a corpse. No matter what I said to him, he didn't react…"
It was indeed something Ichigo would do. With a twitching heart, I kicked open the window and sped through the night rain.
Soon, they arrived at Ichigo's window. In the dark room, Ichigo lay on the bed. He seemed to have sweated a lot in his sleep, and his lips looked very dry. His throat might hurt a little.
Ichigo was probably in a half-asleep state as he extended his right hand toward the white ceiling in the darkness.
No matter how he moved his fingers, he could only grab air. After a while, his outstretched right hand relaxed and fell weakly to the side of the bed. I don't know why, but I suddenly feel very sad.
Darkness, I don't like it at all. Even though darkness had become a necessity for my past self. Killing someone and setting a fire would only be convenient in the dark. This was not a cold joke. It was a scene that was engraved in my memory. In the dark, there were corpses all over the ground, a mess, and myself standing at the side with red hands.
Even if darkness is an old friend, I hate it. No one liked cold things. Plants that grew in cold places were particularly thirsty for light, because they would never forget the feeling of warmth after experiencing it once. That temperature was really destructive.
I looked at the head on the bed that was as warm as the sun. What was he thinking? Suddenly, she really wanted to know what he was thinking. She wanted to know what he was thinking. She wanted to see what he was dreaming about.
" Ichigo…" I quietly sat down on the floor beside his bed.
His eyebrows were furrowed, and his face showed a sad expression of pain and sadness, but there was also a faint smile.
What exactly was he dreaming about? Didn't he say that he never dreamed?
"I like to sleep."
Eh? I was shocked. He had to stabilize his body to not make a sound. The voice just now?
'Sleeping is equivalent to' doing nothing'. Isn't that great? There was no need to look, hear, speak, touch, or even think.'
My gaze drifted around hesitantly and finally fell on the face of the sleeping youth.
There was no third person here. You Zi and Xia Li were sleeping soundly on the second floor. They were not in the house at all.
Just now…
I focused and listened carefully.
In the silence, other than the sound of the wind and rain on the glass, I also heard someone say,'Although sleeping is great, dreaming is really annoying. However, as long as she woke up, she wouldn't remember anything. She would just dream occasionally and endure it.'
No, it's not a sound…It's a thought in my brain…To be more precise, it's like my brain is receiving some kind of radio wave…I thought speechlessly, am I really a hopeless radio wave girl?
" It's only right to forget your dreams. Otherwise, your brain will have to think for twenty-four hours a day, and you won't even have time to rest. If that was the case, that ghost was really pitiful.'
Ah…I stared at Ichigo who was sleeping and finally understood what was going on.
Thanks to him, I finally remembered the source of that woman's tragedy in Four Maple Court. However, compared to this, Ichigo's matter was more important. I continued to focus and hold my breath.
'The things I want to forget are as high as a mountain…Can't I just forget the things I can't remember clearly? I don't want to think about it. Ah, studying was an exception, of course, because that was what one had to remember. Forgetting things was the easiest thing to do. There was no need to deliberately do it.'
'Forgetting the past is the reward for a hard life, and then you can become relaxed. This is probably God's consideration!
When can I be liberated?
Is this how he feels, or how I feel?
Although I like to sleep, I hate the darkness.
It made me think about all kinds of things, and most of these things were annoying.
The more the tentacles of my mind dug into the depths of my memories, the more unbearable it was for me.
Please stop, someone cut off this tentacle!
But the darkness and humidity provided it with such a good soil, allowing it to grow wildly in my heart.
I'm tied up.
It was cold and suffocating.
Who can save me…No, it's better not to save me…Mommy, if only Mommy didn't save me at that time!
Just like that, it was good to be dragged into the abyss.
People like me should be tied to a rock and sunk into Tokyo Bay.
My eyes widened. Ichigo's coldness and gloom was because of his self-loathing and self-abandonment.
Originally, he would feel down every rainy day, but after meeting Xu and seeing his own " incompetence " today... this rainy day was like the day he lost his mother in his memory.
The intense rain sounded as if the world was blaming itself.
No one came to save me, and I don't need anyone to save me.
His heart said so.
With intense pain, I gently wrapped his right hand that was hanging by the bed.
I know, Ichigo, I told him silently. The pain of losing a loved one, the emptiness of losing an important person, and the world turning from warm to cold.
However, she no longer had to blame herself. Look, the rain was about to stop.
Ichigo smiled when the cold feeling was dispelled by the warmth.
Ah, it was a dream.
'It's probably because I'm half-asleep that I have this wonderful feeling! It felt like he was being held by someone. It was a nostalgic feeling. When I was young, when I couldn't sleep at night, my mother would often hold my hand like this.'
Yes, treat it as a dream, Ichigo. The sorrow that could not be expressed, the sorrow that could not be stored, it was fine to roar it out in the dream. It would definitely not be embarrassing because he would not remember anything after waking up.
'Who are you? Why did she say the same thing as that person?'
" Hehe…Who is that person…? You don't remember…You said you wouldn't think about things you can't remember.'
" It's easy to forget things that are like dreams.'
'Then why can't I forget about my mother?'
Ichigo's breathing became rapid, and my heart suddenly jumped high. She waited carefully for a long time, and only heaved a sigh of relief when she realized that he hadn't woken up. After a long time, she could feel his feelings again.
'It was me who killed my mother. It's all my fault. How could I forget my sins?'
'Ichigo, you're already quite amazing. You have helped and saved many people. You didn't realize it yourself, did you? In fact, you have blown a warm breeze in the hearts of many people.'
It had been five years since I last saw him after he lost his mother. He didn't protect his mother well, so he had to protect his sister well. All these years, Ichigo had lived with this thought in mind.
What pained me was that he seemed to have developed the habit of forgetting the good things and only remembering the bad things. It was probably because he felt that he was a " sinner " and lived with a strong sense of guilt, so he had a subtle feeling of self-abuse.
This awkward personality…I finally understand it completely now, because, the two of us…are exactly the same.
'Speaking of which, is it you? Are you in my dream again?
I smiled and said, Do you still remember? Was it related to the people of Four Maple Court?
This book is provided by FunNovel Novel Book | Fan Fiction Novel [Beautiful Free Novel Book]