The second chapter. Kneel on the flowers, move your little hands, let me feel your presence
After lunch, I sat by the pond on campus. On my left was Murong Xue, dressed in white with fluttering belts. She looked serene. On the right, Ouyang Qing was dressed in bright clothes. Her hair fluttered in the wind, and her expression was enchanting and affectionate. One on the left and one on the right, it was like a confrontation between ice and fire. I deliberately kept a distance from both girls. Many times, when there was no one else around, we would always be so quiet and awkward with each other, each with their own thoughts. Especially after establishing a relationship with Ouyang Qing.
Murong Xue lowered her head and used her toes to tease the busy little ants. Ouyang Qing used her hands to comb through her hair that was slightly messed up by the autumn wind. The hair that fluttered in the wind gently caressed my face. I closed my eyes and gently felt the warmth between the ends of her hair.
The weather in October was a little cold. Not knowing when Xia Chan's noise had quietly left. Whispers of autumn were passing through the leaves, urging the solar term.
The lonely sun hanging in the sky was so soft that it made people feel sad. It was not strong or sensitive. It was like an element that was in a half-life.
A couple was arguing on a small bridge by the lake. The man stubbornly turned his head away, and the woman lowered her head and cried softly. Although she was angry, it made her feel sweet. This kind of simple plot that almost every couple in love has is a dream that I want but can't touch. Although I have two girls, I don't have complete love. There's always something missing between us. Is it romance, bitterness, or just a simple quarrel…
" The fragrance of the red lotus leaves is lingering on the jade mat in autumn." The pond was a scene of color and fragrance falling, and under his buttocks was a stone that emitted a cold feeling.
"Don't you want to say something?”I looked at the two girls and broke the silence.
"Brother Zun, what do you want us to say?”Murong Xue raised her head and looked at me. Her calm eyes were filled with the bleakness of autumn.
"You're the one who wants to say something, right?" Ouyang Qing's eyes were as gentle and sad as the autumn sun.
"I want to say, I…I can't say it.”
"Hmph, what other disgusting things are you not going to say? Tell me!" In an instant, Ouyang Qing regained her usual composure. She was fierce and sexy.
"At this moment, silence is better than sound." I teased.
A gust of wind blew, and a few leaves swirled in the wind. Looking at the beautiful figure beside him, he felt that the wind was blowing and his heart was fluttering.
"What is our relationship now?”
In the end, I couldn't help but bring up this topic. All along, whether it was Murong Xue, Ouyang Qing, or me, we had all deliberately avoided this question.
"What do you think?" Ouyang Qing asked. At this moment, the two girls were looking at me nervously and seriously.
"I…"
"What kind of relationship do you want us to have?”Ouyang Qing asked.
"I hope…"
"Are you embarrassed to say it, or are you afraid to say it?”Ouyang Qing was forced to face my retreat.
I paused for a moment, then smiled. It was a sad and lonely smile.
"Do you know? I feel like I'm living in countless dreams. I've already failed and missed out on many things…On my last night in S City, my uncle told me to take control of my life and not take the wrong path again…To me, you guys are like a beautiful dream that I dare not touch, but you guys are standing in front of me so realistically. I want to catch each and every one of you, but I'm afraid that this dream will dissipate at the touch of it. Because both of you are so outstanding, be it your family background or yourself. Sometimes, I…even feel that I'm not worthy of you…"
Murong Xue stopped me and gently said,""Brother Zun, don't think that way, and don't say that. I've never felt that I'm so outstanding. I'm just an ordinary girl who likes Brother Zun.”
I looked at Murong Xue's soft eyes and was speechless.
"Xu Zun, is that all you want to say? I…I'm a woman. I've already given you everything a woman has. Xue 'er was the same. Could it be that I only got these words from you?"
"I know, but I can't be between two girls with ease, nor can I have two extraordinary girls like you with a clear conscience.”
"Actually, this is nothing. In the mulberry and cattail grasses, two people were in love with each other. This kind of thing could be mentioned high in life and death, or it could be put down with a faint smile. I never asked for anything, and you don't have to promise me anything.”Qing 'er suddenly pretended to be relaxed and said in a nonchalant tone.
I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my heart." You guys, can you guys not be so good to me! It will make me feel so guilty that I want to die! Xue 'er, tell me, what do you want? Don't keep smiling. What do you want me to do? Don't keep silent. What about you, Qing 'er? Don't pretend to be indifferent. I can see that your heart is crying…"
"Xue 'er, look at the couple on the opposite bridge. They're quarreling, and then the boy coaxes the girl, and then the girl cries softly in the boy's arms…Why isn't there anything between us? Can you really accept me being with two girls at the same time? Why do I feel so pressured? Why do I feel breathless? Why do I always want to escape?“
Are you really happy? Xue 'er, that mischievous and cute girl in the past, the girl who pestered me all day long, the girl who kept calling me' Brother, Brother 'all day long, why is she becoming quieter and quieter? Qing 'er, that arrogant and domineering girl, that happy and carefree girl who didn't care about anything, that girl who was determined to win and refused to suffer any grievances, why did she become so delicate and melancholic?”
"Qing 'er, you once said that I'm a person who doesn't dare to say what I want. I have to wait for someone to personally deliver it to me before I'm willing to accept it. But now, I have changed. I want both of you to be happy. I know that I am very ashamed. I want both of you. Without either of you, my life will not be complete! However, when I was with the two of you at the same time, I lost my complete love, making the two of you unhappy. Could it be that I can only get it if I'm willing? Only by giving up on one of you can I have the other one completely?”
I spoke excitedly, and the two girls 'eyes were filled with crystal tears.
"Silly, why are you so excited? It's as if we're leaving you.”Ouyang Qing said gently.
"Brother Zun, there's nothing between me and Sister Qing that can't be shared. I believe that we will be very happy together.”
"If... If we still have to separate in the end, then let's wait for time to decide!”Ouyang Qing said resolutely.
I looked at the two most important people in my life and fell into confusion. I didn't know whether to be happy or worried.
People were coming and going on the small bridge across from them. The couple had long disappeared." Look, how many people have come and gone on this bridge over the years? I don't know if we can cross it."”
"There's nothing that can't be crossed. It's just that the bridge can't speak.”Murong Xue looked at the bridge thoughtfully.
"If the bridge could talk, what would it tell me?”I asked.
"It will tell you not to retreat, to be brave, to believe in each other.”Ouyang Qing continued.
Around him were the evergreen leaves. The unchanging scene seemed to be just a spectator of life, as if it could withstand the change of time. However, only they knew that they were not indifferent to the passage of time. They used their own unique methods to carve rings in their hearts, burying the fallen leaves and rivers of time in their hearts.
Another autumn wind blew, and the leaves fell all over the ground. The three of us stood in each other's line of sight, habitually relying on each other. It was a deformed but inseparable attachment.
...
In the evening, Zhan Xing called and said that he would wait for me at the Fragrance Pavilion. So, he said goodbye to Murong Xue and Ouyang Qing and kissed each of their faces. Because Ouyang Qing said that I'm not allowed to be biased. The two girls kindly told me to drink less and eat more. I agreed with a smile.
On the way to the Fragrance Pavilion, I thought about many things. When I didn't know what to do, I chose to let nature take its course. When he was at a loss, choosing to follow his nature might be a smart move. Then, just as Ouyang Qing had said, let time decide! I shook my head. The autumn wind was filled with my worries…
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