Taoyuan Jia Zhengjin
Shi Yun:
Though the tofu stinks, it's especially fragrant,
The inner surface of the wadding is bright.
It's hard to believe that he's so sanctimonious.
I've crossed the seas in deception and gone through the wilderness.
The most baffling thing in the world was the stinky tofu! Although its name had the word " smelly ", it was regarded as a delicacy by many people! This wouldn't go so far as to be judged as "like-minded", right?
Coincidentally, the word " stinky bitch " also had the word " stinky ", but it was often favored by some sanctimonious gentlemen. Why was this? Even sociologists would find it hard to explain!
The village girl Xiao Fenghuang's notoriety as a "stinky bitch" had not only spread throughout Taoyuan Village, but it also quickly spread throughout Taoyuan Village. After she got rid of the village chief Luo Ming Qing, she was in a hurry to go home. Unexpectedly, she was bumped into by the village secretary, Jia Zhengjin.
Jia Zhengjin's usual catchphrase was: "A beauty is bound to be a disaster, and a city can topple a country.”He often used a cliché when educating others: The main reason for the corruption of society was women. No matter how strong a man was, even if he was as hard as steel, a woman's beautiful face could make you lose your soul. The ancient saying of "men and women's great defense" really had to be put down! Therefore, he was always well-dressed and did not smile.
At this moment, Jia Zhengjin was naturally aware of Xiao Fenghuang's reputation as a " stinky whore ". However, not only did he not quickly avoid her, but he also rushed forward and appeared extremely friendly. He said sweetly,"Aiya! My seventh fairy sister, you've missed my brother Dong Lang so much!”
If he had heard someone talking to a woman on any other occasion, especially a woman who was despised as a " stinky whore " by everyone, she would definitely have immediately thought that this was treason and reprimanded him severely. However, in this occasion where only " heaven and earth know, you and I know ", such teasing words coming out of his mouth was not only logical, but it was even better than singing!
Naturally, Xiao Fenghuang was no stranger to the village secretary. She was so familiar with him that she could tell if he was shitting or peeing the moment he raised his tail. Therefore, she would not be polite to him. She took the opportunity to mock him,"Nonsense! You have no knowledge at all! The Seven Celestial Maidens were at least eighteen thousand years old. How old was Dong Yong? When he met the Seven Celestial Maidens, he was only in his thirties. In terms of seniority, the Seven Celestial Maidens should be Dong Yong's ancestors (which was a huge advantage)! How could he, Dong Yong, dare to call himself a brother in front of the Seven Celestial Maidens? You've been a village official for so many years in vain. You don't even have this little knowledge! You're so pitiful! Isn't it time to be knowledgeable? In broad daylight, don't stand in my way. You'd better go home and study hard. Otherwise, you won't even know how you lost your black veil hat!”
The clerk originally wanted to sell some flattery to please the village girl, but he did not expect to be ridiculed by the village girl. However, Jia Zhengjin still didn't think much of it. Not to mention being scolded by a beauty, even being beaten up was an excellent reward! Therefore, he continued to smile cheekily and said to the village girl,"It seems that it's very different in the city. Youngest Sister hasn't been in the city for long. Unlike our poor mountain village, where sh * t doesn't give birth to maggots, and even ghosts don't lay eggs!”
Phoenix continued Jia Zhengjin's words and said,"Indeed, ghosts don't lay eggs in this godforsaken place of ours. However, you have to know your place and get lost immediately!”
Then, the village girl, Xiao Fenghuang, changed the topic. Her phoenix eyes widened as she angrily rebuked," Jia Zhengjin, you better understand. In broad daylight, how could a clerk stop a good woman from pestering her!”
"Hahaha! What a joke!" The clerk said," Aren't you just a broken shoe?，Who didn't know? Who didn't know? She still had the face to call herself a good woman! It's really laughable."
"It's good that you can smile so widely that people can't see your teeth! It also saves you the trouble of talking nonsense.”After the village girl finished speaking, she pushed the clerk with both hands. The clerk was pushed to the ground by the village girl, and then Xiao Fenghuang left.
When the clerk saw that the village girl had left, he quickly got up from the ground and ran forward. He grabbed the village girl tightly and said shamelessly,"Youngest sister, I spat out feces with my mouth just now and you were smoked. Hit me!"
"What are you doing?" The village girl rebuked angrily again," Didn't you look down on old shoes just now? Why did it change so quickly? Did she become so fond of old shoes again? Come, come, come. This pair of shoes on my feet is really going to break.”The village girl lifted her leg and took off her shoes. Then, she made do with that pair of shoes and gave the clerk a two-handed beating, making him scream. Then, the village girl said,"If you really like old shoes, I'll give you this pair of shoes!"”Then, she threw the shoe at the clerk, put on another pair of shoes, and left!
How could the clerk stop here? Thus, he caught up with the village girl again and said sweetly,"Who cares about the broken shoes on your feet? The one I like is your sister, the fairy! Alright, stop fooling around! My car is not far below. Let's get in quickly! Let me take you to a fun place. I'm begging you!”
"Yo! You still have a car!" The village girl continued in a humorous and playful tone," You think I don't know? You spent a few hundred yuan to buy a broken jeep from a junkyard and got someone to fix it and paint it. That thing of yours is also called a car! I can't even walk three kilometers and I have to come down and push it five times. I don't have that much strength!”
"Little sister! Don't always look at people with the same old eyes!”The clerk quickly defended himself." I've already sold the thing you're talking about as scrap metal! I bought a second-hand Alto. Although it's only a second-hand car, it's an old brand from Chang 'an Factory in Chongqing! Didn't you hear that Alto Alto, although the price is low, it's the happiest to sit inside! Its performance is very good!"
"I thought it was a second-hand Audi! So it's a second-hand Alto?" The village girl continued in a disdainful tone," Have you heard of Mercedes-Benz and BMW? I thought it was too low-grade in the city, and you still have the cheek to show off your second-hand Alto in front of your great-aunt! I'll let you and your second-hand Alto go to hell!”
"Little sister, don't look down on the shrimp!”The clerk tried his best to put on an arrogant look and said," In less than two years, if I don't buy a brand-new car and show it off in front of you, I'll really be a clerk for nothing!”
"Don't, don't, don't!" The village girl immediately said," If you really do that, I wonder how many layers of skin the villagers will have to be skinned by you! Especially in our poor mountain village, I think you should stop committing crimes. Besides, there will be a re-election in the second half of this year. It is still a big problem whether you can sit firmly in that broken chair.”
"I can sit in this position for another ten or twenty years.”
Jia Zhengjin continued," Do you know why I'm still playing with this second-hand Alto? To tell you the truth, I don't have to be afraid. In any case, within my jurisdiction, I will have the final say sooner or later. Now, I'll tell you the truth: I originally had enough money to buy a new car. In order to keep my position, I went to burn incense and offer sacrifices to the Bodhisattvas and gods who could control me. Since I've already spent so much money, if I can't keep my position, I'll definitely bring those Bodhisattvas and gods out to boil water with me! In fact, they also know that I, Jia Zhengjin, am not an easy person to deal with! Youngest sister, you should be relieved now. Hurry up and get rid of those other inexplicable men and be good with me. Not only will I guarantee that you will live a good life forever, but even your old father will also benefit from it!”
"Bah! Bah! Do you think I'm overestimating you just because you can keep your crappy position as a village official? Don't even think about it!" "Didn't you say that Taoyuan Village is under your jurisdiction?" Go back and manage your land properly! Don't keep pestering me and ruin your bright future. Get lost! I'm going home!"
After Phoenix finished speaking, she turned around and was about to leave.
How could Jia Zhengjin just give up? He quickly went up to block her way and continued,"Okay, little sister, I don't need to say anything else. You don't have to rush home. Now, hurry up and get in the car with me. I'll take you to a very romantic place.”
"You wish!" The village girl still had a look of disdain in her eyes as she continued," Why should I listen to you? Just how capable are you? How amazing was that? Your great ability is nothing more than scraping oil from a chicken's foot. How much money can you make in a year? No matter how much money you have, I have seen it. You can be considered that urinal! If I am in high spirits, it would be your good fortune to be able to look at you. You can't even be considered a Sesame Officer. Only a seventh-grade county official can be considered a Sesame Officer! Who do you think you are? Why don't you take a shit and see what kind of face you have! Why didn't you climb on the weighing hook and weigh how much money you have? You actually have the nerve to show off a broken car in front of me! Come on, hurry up and make way for me! Don't make me unlucky!"
After the village girl finished speaking, she ran away when the clerk was not paying attention. By the time the clerk came back to his senses, the village girl had already run far away!
At this moment, the clerk no longer had the mood to chase after her. He knew in his heart,"Since the village girl has already returned from the city, she won't leave my Taoyuan Village area for a short period of time. I heard that her father is very sick. It seems that she might stay for a long time. There are still many opportunities to play with him." You can still beat my palm!
Then, Jia Zhengjin slowly walked towards the place where he parked his car. As he walked, he kept thinking about Xiao Fenghuang's mockery and ridicule towards him just now, which made him feel even more upset. After a while, he thought, In my jurisdiction, the mountains are high and the emperor is far away. Naturally, I have the final say. I am the local emperor here! Even pigs, cows, dogs, and horses have to listen to my orders, but I didn't expect this little girl to not put me in her eyes! You even scolded me for being a chamber pot! How unlucky! However, thinking about it carefully, her words were not without reason. If I, Jia Zhengjin, always work as a village official in this poor mountain village, I won't be able to be active even if I work for the rest of my life! No, I can't do this! I must be ruthless! If I don't become a local official or county official in this life, my life will be in vain!
OP-2
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