Time: 2009-12- 27 12:10:14 Words: 4841
47
Yi Ren vaguely felt that everyone was talking about him in private and avoiding him.
What about me?
An upright comrade came to talk to Yi Ren."This child, which Bodhisattva did you offend? The Council is saying that they want to punish you!”
"You want to punish me? What did I do wrong?”
"I don't know either. Everyone is spreading rumors, but they all sympathize with you. You can't offend that group of people. Don't be young and impetuous. Don't be a bookworm. Whoever you offend, just go with them. Don't think that you're not in the wrong. Offending the leader is wrong. A wise man doesn't eat the loss in front of him.”
How was that possible?
Who did I offend?
Did I offend Dean Ni? I didn't talk back to him or say anything bad about him. How could I offend him? I only showed a disdainful expression when he criticized me. Is this considered a crime? He said that he might fire me, but I didn't panic at all because I didn't have much nostalgia for the court. Not only did I often do things that I didn't feel guilty about, but I also couldn't get my salary. What was there for me to miss? I actually didn't take the leader's criticism seriously. Is this wrong? I offended Dean Feng. I have no relationship with him! Did he offend her just because he didn't have any relationship with her? I went to Dean Wu's house many times to give gifts and passed by his door. I only crept past when Dean Feng's door was closed. How did he know that I expressed a lot to Dean Wu? Did he see it and make him angry? I offended Dean Wu. Haven't I been giving him gifts? However, I also said that he was a cunning person. He pretended to be honest and boldly collected money. Did he know? Did I offend Principal Jia? I just often doze off when he speaks. No one will listen to those words!
Why are you messing with me?
Think about it. Did I really do something wrong?
He only paid 1,000 yuan to get a cell phone from someone else. This was bribery! This wasn't wrong? Also, Old Zhang gave you 1,000 yuan, but you still accepted it after returning it three times. Isn't that wrong? Did they report him? Also, you've been biased towards one party many times. Although it's the leader's intention, you're still an executioner. Didn't you repent and wrongly accuse a cancer patient? She has already gone to another world, so she definitely can't report it. But can you live with your conscience? There's also a girl who's divorced, and you actually want to touch her breasts. If there's no one else, won't you be abusing your power for personal gain? Is that old man in his seventies still crying? Your accomplice cheated him of a few hundred yuan, and more importantly, cheated him of his trust in the law... Did the old man report him to the court?
Is it my fault alone? I saw with my own eyes that some people asked for bribes, and I also saw some women take the initiative to come to my door. Some judges even changed the verdict for the benefit of their friends. Some people claimed that they were the children of high-ranking officials and actually "rescued" the person being executed in the court under the eyes of the president…Some people said that the officials born in the late 1960s and early 1970s were all addicted to drinking, prostitution, and gambling! I'm just…
There's no need to defend yourself. Why are you talking so much about others? Should you follow others just because they broke the law? Rape by one person is illegal, but rape by a thousand people is the trend!？You're not a good person, but I've always thought that I'm a good person. I've always thought that others are corrupting society while I'm stuck to the rules alone. What kind of person am I?
I remember walking on the streets in the afternoon when the sun was shining brightly. When I saw a beggar, I didn't give him any money. When I saw a model of a good person that was widely publicized in the media, I actually didn't even bother to look at him. I arbitrarily believed that all the propaganda was exaggerated. As I walked, I suddenly thought, was it because I wasn't noble enough, wasn't "advanced" enough, and was just a mortal with too many flaws and sins? But…didn't I dislike corrupt officialdom? Didn't he hate scary pretentiousness? Didn't he swear to be a loving person without putting on a show? Was everything an illusion? Was he just feeling good about himself? Was it because she valued herself and looked down on others for no reason? Was it a groundless fantasy that had not been put into practice? Only now did I truly see myself and the gap between us? In the past, he never admitted the difference. He only knew that others had many shortcomings in morality and character. He always thought that he was a moral role model and was definitely a good person…Looking back at what you have done, especially in recent years, how many evil things have you done? How many evil things have you done unknowingly!
However, I have no choice. I really have no choice! I realized that I don't have a good person by my side. How can I persist alone? I don't even have the money to eat. How much more noble can I be than others? Everyone is thinking of ways to make money. Officials abuse their power for personal gain. I thought that they would find it shameful, but they don't feel shameful at all. They only think that it's their own ability and their own luck. This is what officials should do. I personally heard a leader calculate the annual tribute of his subordinates on a semi-public occasion. They only feel proud and don't feel guilty. They have earned enough, but they don't care about the lives of their subordinates. They don't even care about their salaries. Will they have good subordinates like this?
The social atmosphere was already like this. The good people were stinky, and the bad people were fragrant. Who would make money? Who was the hero? Heroes didn't ask about the way out, and money didn't ask about the origin. Those who stuck to poverty were ridiculed by others. They were corrupt and extravagant. Crime and morality were also completely separated. If anyone was caught in a miscarriage, there would be fewer people scolding them, and more people sympathizing with them. They always thought that only unlucky people would be caught in a miscarriage." The big ones will report, and the small ones will be handcuffed." A similar corruption culture spread further and further. Some people said that officials who were not greedy for money were not good officials.
……
But why do they want to deal with me?
Then what hope was there to enter the city?
I'm afraid I'll be thrown into jail! Who asked me to not have any backing? I can't touch those who have backing, and I can't touch those with waxen hair. If I don't touch you, who can I touch?
Sigh! He really didn't expect that his enthusiasm would end up like this, but who could he blame?
……
Liu Ping called!
Yi Ren was too lazy to take it! His heart was in a mess!
Her sister said that Liu Ping might be a temporary worker.
What was possible? She was a temporary worker.
But when they introduced him, they didn't say that he was a temporary worker!
Why did he have to make it so clear?
Let everything go to the side. I'm about to receive my punishment.
He deserved it!
Liu Ping was still calling non-stop, and the beeping machine was about to break. Yi Ren could completely understand Liu Ping's mood at that time.
Yiren turned off her phone and beeped, losing all contact with the outside world!
Yiren returned to her father's side, and her father nagged at her about how to be a person, asking Yiren to enforce the law, be good to the people, and be good to the leaders...
Impartially enforce the law? Can you say that? Who do you think you are? If you can't enforce the law impartially, you can't be good to the people. You have to malign people, frame people, and do things that are devoid of conscience... What is good for the leader? You don't feel that your back hurts when you speak. Some things are easy to say but difficult to do. You only know how to say it. If you do it, you will still be in a terrible state. You will still be black-hearted and will still be at the mercy of the leader. Do you know that yellow dogs and black dogs eat as debts? There are some things that you can't do. If you do it, it will be a sin. You only know how to be a good person. It's easy to say. Why don't people do good people that are so easy to do? It's difficult! You've been honest, cowardly, and deceived your entire life, yet you still want to lie to me. Where did your thoughts come from? Have you thought about it? The leader advocates being honest and honest, so why does the leader's house always have to be more luxurious than others? Why was it that every time he received a gift, he would always smile and be able to see the shadow immediately (of course, the shadow was big or small, proportional to the gift!)）Why did the leader promote his own son to be promoted and go abroad so casually? All the publicity was fake. It was all to fool people. Stop teaching him. I'm sick of this! What am I afraid of? [You have to jump into a 10,000-foot deep pit. You can't not jump. Just jump in. Don't care about anything else…Just stay out of it and protect yourself. Go to hell…]
Are you still speaking human language? You have to rely on yourself to cultivate. Why do you care about other people? I told you to learn from others to take bribes, be corrupt, do bad things, and harm the people. Why do I still have such a son?
What bribes have I taken? What bad things have I done? Ninety-nine out of a hundred people are worse than me. Why are you staring at me?
It's their business if others go overboard. Don't be heartless.
Wasn't he human? Why should I be looked down upon by others in this society? Why should I stick to something that no one can do? I'm not a person in a vacuum…
You said that no one can do it. It's difficult not to be corrupt, not to take bribes, and not to be a bad person. I think you're already crippled. You'll be amazing if I don't beat you to death today.
Go ahead! I'm not even afraid of going to jail, but I'm still afraid of being beaten.
……
Yiren left alone. He didn't go to his sister's place, nor did he go to the court or the court. He walked forward aimlessly...
Yiren only had 3,500 yuan on him. He wanted to send 1,000 yuan each to Zhang and Mei Jinhe, who had given him gifts. He also wanted to go to Qianyang Town to visit the 70-year-old man who he had always been guilty of. The old man's money for buying bricks had not been paid, but he should have forgotten about it. Yiren wanted to go to Xiao Ye's grave. Yiren had always thought that Xiao Ye died unjustly because of an unfair judgment. He wanted to repent at Xiao Ye's grave and beg for forgiveness from the people of the other world.
With 3,500 yuan in his pocket, Yiren rented a house in a warehouse under a mountain in the neighboring county. He wanted to stay and think about everything in the past and record everything in the past.
The warehouse was far away from the crowd, but it was actually only five or six miles away from the village. Yiren went to the village to buy steamed buns every day. She ate three steamed buns in the morning and three buns in the afternoon. At night, she went to the small restaurant in the village to eat. It was not expensive, only four yuan. However, the small restaurant was often closed. Sometimes, Yiren had no choice but to eat with the "boss" or go to another shop to eat noodles (this shop was less open than that restaurant).
Yi Ren recalled and recorded everything in the past.
Yi Ren blushed. He used to be so utilitarian-minded. He wanted to make a name for himself by writing an article. He wanted to fish for money from it. Yi Ren no longer wanted to make a name for himself. He just wanted to record and think calmly, like doing a project that no one wanted to do.
The mosquito bites were too strong, but three mosquito coil incense sticks had to be lit at the same time to be effective. Yi Ren couldn't bear to light the mosquito coil incense. Let it bite, it wouldn't bite to death!
Also, that unpleasant smell was not that easy to love. However, after a long time, the strange smell disappeared.
Yi Ren calmly thought, wrote, and wrote. As she wrote, she realized that something was wrong. Now, many things were like rootless duckweed. She couldn't explain it clearly. What was going on?
What was going on?
It turned out that he should not have started writing from junior high school. From junior high school, he had cut off a large part of his real life and cut off many feelings that had a reason.
If it didn't work, he had to start from his memories.
Yi Ren started to recall her memories, but she had forgotten most of them, leaving only some edges. But he couldn't not write it. What should he do? He tried his best to search for memories from the people and things in the present, and to find the source from his current thoughts...
The more she wrote, the more boring it became. Yi Ren knew that it was utilitarian-like intentions that were causing trouble! Forget about utility. Write for the sake of recording, write for the sake of a natural story, write for the sake of being ordinary, vulgar, and trivial, write for the sake of writing, and not for anything!
He did not have to force himself anymore, and his progress was also very fast.
However, as Yiren continued to write, she felt as if she had nothing to say. All the passion and impulse she had felt in the past seemed to have disappeared. There was no pleasure after vomiting, only an empty pain. She couldn't write anymore. Yiren couldn't climb mountains, look at the fields, or listen to the voices of the world, even if it was noise, running, laughter, or crying...
After a few days, there was another surge of passion. Yiren felt that writing wasn't taking things out of the warehouse in her inner world, but constantly gnawing on the grass on the prairie. After gnawing once, she couldn't continue without resting for a while.
Will the broken house I'm living in and the pen and paper I use become a cultural relic in the future? Will the words I wrote on the wall become a cultural relic in the future? Would there be a beauty coming to the broken house…Bullsh * t! Who do you think you are? You're living in such a shabby house, but you still haven't changed your mind. You think you're a real talent!
As she wrote, Yiren flipped the book over and read it herself. However, the more she read, the more she couldn't bear to continue reading. What kind of real journey was this? Her thoughts were gone, her feelings were gone, and there was only the outline of the story. Was this life? This was not life, but a boring story that had been randomly picked out.
You've done all kinds of bad things, but you're scolding others for losing their conscience. You're pregnant, but you're mocking others for eating and drinking. Is this your justice?
I regret that I drove away the troublemaker when I was teaching and deprived him of his right to education. He shouldn't have bought three catties of apples when he first came to court, but he used the government's money. That was the first time he harmed the public to benefit his private interests. He shouldn't have taken the discount when he bought the books for his students (junior high school). He was greedy for the students 'money! He shouldn't have kicked the captive female prisoner three times! This shouldn't be something I did. No matter how wrong she is, you can't kick her! At that time, the "criminal" was too annoying. She was already handcuffed and dragged into the car. She still struggled and threw herself onto the car. She knocked into the car and cursed. I kicked her three times. No matter how "bad" she was back then, you can't kick her! He shouldn't have given up almost everything for the sake of writing. He should have quit drinking, smoking, mahjong, playing, gossiping, and even exercising. He should have quit cleaning the room and personal hygiene. He should have devoted all his time and energy to writing, making himself a lifeless and boring old man…
……
When he reached the part where he was beaten by his father, what else could he write next? It would be writing. Wasn't writing a contradiction? Wasn't it a cycle? Hurry up and end it!
Logically speaking, I'm the one who's on the run. Didn't the hospital party group want to punish you? Didn't father think that you were rebellious?
Wouldn't it be a sin to hang a girl's heart and then throw it away, just like how someone had once thrown it away?
What should I write next? It should be a confession! But didn't I repent while recording my life?
Yiren could no longer tell whether she was living in writing or writing in life. In fact, they had already become one.
There were too many emotions and too much repentance. What practical actions should he use to repent? Don't say repentance, but defend yourself in your heart.
Apologize to her father and explain her thoughts to the party?
No, all of this was just a formality. Yiren's father, who loved her dearly, would not blame Yiren. What could he get by explaining his thoughts to the party members? Didn't they want to punish you for no reason? What reason did they have to make Yiren repent? They were worthy of repentance, so they should report him to the prosecutor's office and let him suffer the punishment of the law...
What was this pile of words that was recorded…?
Everything was revealed to the world. I was already a transparent person, a person who had taken off his clothes in the public square of the world…
What are you doing?
It would only attract the attention of smart people, the disdain of successful people, and the ridicule of the world…
I'm a beggar with nothing to cover my body, a naked wanderer that some people sympathize with and others criticize...
Yi Ren fell into confusion and conflict.
……
At the end of the play.
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。