Time: 2009-3-2714:09:58 Words: 4319
The car slowly drove on the uneven roads of the county town. Because it was the Spring Festival, most of the shops on both sides of the street had not opened yet. The bright couplets on the heads of the houses had a festive atmosphere. There were few pedestrians on the street, and the county town was not as lively and prosperous as before. Groups of young people who went out to work with big bags of luggage flashed past the window from time to time. A dilapidated bus overloaded with a group of young boys and girls chasing their dreams blew out black smoke as it passed by. They sailed to different cities, carrying a group of hot-blooded young people with different dreams and pursuits. Some of them left their hometowns for different cities for their dreams and some for the needs of material life.
Everything was familiar outside the car window because Zhiyuan often skipped classes and wandered around the streets when he was studying in the county. He wandered through the streets and every counter of the department store. At that time, perhaps because his family was in the countryside, he was full of curiosity and yearning for everything in the city. Zhiyuan played truant and often went to the video hall to watch the popular Hong Kong and Taiwan movies. The colorful world in the movies devoured Zhiyuan. It was the yearning and desire at that time that made him have a strong desire for material things. Zhiyuan yearned for the outside world of debauchery, yearned for the heroic spirit of fighting and killing in the movies, yearned for the satisfaction of squandering money and summoning the wind and rain. Because his family's financial situation could not satisfy his gradually expanding vanity, Zhiyuan's friendliness in front of his classmates in the city was often not accepted by others. It was as if he was only worthy of dealing with his classmates in the countryside. The dividing line between urban and rural areas was so clear, as if the rural children were labeled as poor, backward, and sloppy. He often felt inferior in front of his classmates 'rich material resources.
Zhiyuan tried his best to avoid the unintentional embarrassment and embarrassment, but he didn't avoid the reality of every day and every minute. Zhiyuan couldn't bear to squander the meager harvest of his parents 'sweat in the yellow soil. He didn't dare to squander his parents' sacred hard work with a guilty heart. The superior material conditions of the city children and the incomparable family differences deeply aggravated Zhiyuan's inferiority complex. He had the abnormal idea of earning money to change his fate and buy the sneakers, bread and clothes he wanted. The shops on the main street of the county town used single or dual-tape multi-speaker tape recorder to play the popular Hong Kong and Taiwan songs. The songs of Zheng Zhihua, the Four Heavenly Kings and Zhou Wakin filled the not-so-bustling central street. Zhiyuan had loved music since he was young, and the radio at home was the source of all his hobbies. Later on, his family could not bear to let the children go to the neighbor's house to watch television, so they spent money to buy a 14-inch black and white television. Zhiyuan had always wanted to own a popular dual-card recorder, and that desire had overshadowed all his childhood dreams. Sanyo, Jianwu, Yanwu, and the four speakers were the things he dreamed of owning. However, he knew that his family's financial situation could not fulfill his wish. He could only secretly make up his mind to earn money to buy a loudspeaker that he had been longing for for a long time and satisfy his long-buried wish. This childish and stubborn determination quickly made Zhiyuan want to quit school. Without much hesitation, his mind was filled with all kinds of ways to earn money. Zhiyuan couldn't resist the temptation of the outside world, even though he didn't know where it was. However, he was already tired of the boring life in the classroom. Besides, the difference in food and clothing between his classmates in school and in the city had pushed Zhiyuan's self-esteem to the brink of collapse. Or rather, his vanity had changed his attitude towards life. The temptation of material reality had distorted his original pure ideals. He naively thought that everything in his dreams would be within reach in reality. He had a whimsical idea and an absurd logic that was blessed by luck. He encouraged himself and comforted himself that it was not a big deal to walk out. The scene of returning home in glory and being surrounded by people kept repeating in his mind. At an age where he had no responsibility, he always wanted to surprise his parents with his harvest. He wanted to prove that his initial decision should be acknowledged with his rich harvest. Zhiyuan, who had no academic qualifications, could still walk the glorious road of life.
The unfamiliar scenery outside the window pulled Zhiyuan back from yesterday's memory. The bus left the county town and turned due east. He looked out the window numbly. The unfamiliar view outside the window made him feel relaxed. The unfamiliar distance always filled him with yearning. Imagining the scene at his second uncle's place, he felt uneasy because Zhiyuan would only cause trouble for his second uncle. He tried hard to imagine what it was like to work in the brick kiln. In fact, there were brick kiln jobs near his hometown, so there was no need to go so far to do this shameful job. However, the reality had left him with no choice. Zhiyuan knew that he had no right or ability to choose the path he wanted to take. The reality was right in front of him, but he was powerless to fight against it. He silently carried everything that fate had arranged for him. Zhiyuan already knew that because of his shallow and ignorant understanding of life, he had begun to pay the price for his actions. After all, his parents did not just beg him to drop out of school, but Zhiyuan thought that their dissuasion was because he did not support and trust him to go out and make a living. Zhiyuan, who was stubborn and young, saw the world as so big and so small. Reality made him lose himself in the crossroads of life. The silence after the hustle and bustle, the desolation behind the prosperity, let Zhiyuan see his own downtrodden face in the illusory world. In spring, he traveled with bold words, but in autumn, he brought home a bag full of lost things. After several so-called struggles and adventures, Zhiyuan, who was ignorant and incompetent, was beaten back to his original form by the ruthless reality. His fanatical heart no longer had the passion and self-righteous fearlessness of the past. The world was so big that he had lost himself in a random corner. The world was so small that there was no corner for him to hide in and let the rain wash over his already cold body. After the numb and naive impulse, the excuse could not cover up the confusion in his heart. Zhiyuan, who had nothing, was surrounded by all the mocking eyes. The reasonable blow destroyed Zhiyuan's immature and helpless psychological defense line, and the remaining sobriety lingered on the way home.
The bus carried Zhiyuan's messy thoughts all the way to the east. The bus was windy everywhere, and the dust rolled up by the wheels rushed in from time to time. The smell of gasoline filled the car. Most of the people in the car were half-asleep under the jolt of the car. Some of them were probably talking excitedly about the scenery outside the window because it was their first time going on a long journey. Zhiyuan didn't feel sleepy at all, even though he had woken up early today. He was also in no mood to admire the local customs outside the window, because everything had nothing to do with him, because his curiosity was already exhausted, because the thoughts of the future occupied his inner world that was full of confusion. It was as if he was hiding in the corner of the bus. No one cared about his existence on the bus. His clothes were insignificant in people's eyes. No one's eyes stayed on him for a second longer. A few passengers were talking loudly about their glorious achievements. Zhiyuan sat beside them by the window and didn't dare to make any big movements. Even if he moved his numb body, he was very careful, afraid that his rough behavior would attract others 'disgust. The small coincidental experiences were stimulating Zhiyuan's sensitive nerves because he always felt like a speck of dust floating in the air in front of others. He could not find his place in the vast world and could not decide his own direction.
Zhiyuan listened to them talking loudly about their work experience and treatment, as well as how dangerous and comfortable their work was. Zhiyuan could not imagine their specific situation. He only heard them talking loudly that they were in a certain coal mine. When they talked, they occasionally looked at the passengers around them, as if to see if anyone was paying attention to or envious of his identity. The other one did not want to be outdone and continued to talk loudly about what position they were in, how they worked, how they earned money, and how generous their benefits were. They did not care at all whether they would wake up the sleeping passengers in the next seat. They were showing off their superiority and pride in holding iron rice bowls in this mobile space. Zhiyuan looked out of the window calmly on the surface, but he was extremely envious in his heart. Having a stable job meant that he did not have to worry about tomorrow all day long. Even his words were so confident. He thought about his wandering experience for more than two years, the nightmares he didn't want to mention again, the sadness and joy of yesterday, and the unknown tomorrow. Zhiyuan secretly made up his mind that if he became an official miner one day, he would also dress decently and sit up straight to go out in a car. He would also buy a lot of good food and drinks on the road and experience the feeling of being confident and showing off like others.
The destination of this bus was the coal city. Most of the passengers on the bus were related to the coal mine. As more and more miners went out first, this bus came into being. Originally, coal miners used to take the train from Zaocheng to Yanzhou to go home. Slowly, as the income of coal miners increased, the mobility of miners and their families increased. The bus from their hometown to Zaocheng was opened. Second Uncle Zhiyuan said that the city where he worked was based on the mine. The coal mine next to the village before the Liberation became a large state-owned coal mine after the Liberation. The city was gradually formed due to the increase in the number of coal mines around it.
After more than five hours of bumpy driving, the bus finally entered the jurisdiction of Zao City. There were more trucks pulling coal on the road. Zhiyuan didn't have the desire and excitement he had when he was about to arrive at his destination. He only had a tight grip on his luggage and a helpless melancholy. Zhiyuan told the ticket seller in advance that he would get off at Xiaotun Station. Second Aunt used to tell me a lot of things about the coal city when she came back from visiting her relatives. She said that Xiaotun Station was the place mentioned in "Railroad guerrillas" on TV. Xiaotun was the name of a village. The railway behind Xiaotun Village was the only road to Zaocheng in "Railroad guerrillas". This was a real railway entrance. The bus stopped at a place near the railway crossing. The conductor announced loudly that they had arrived at Xiaotun Station. Zhiyuan hurriedly got out of the car with his simple luggage. He knew the exact address of his second uncle's house, but he did not know how to get there. He calmed himself down and looked around in a panic. He was facing a new environment. The desolate road, the sparse flow of people, and the lack of vehicles. The wind at the end of winter was dry and cold, scratching Zhiyuan's rough and cracked face. Gusts of wind swept up the gray-black dust and rushed into the distance. Zhiyuan saw the railway crossing that his second aunt often talked about. Zhiyuan stood at the railway crossing and looked north. He saw the waste rock hill in the distance. His second uncle said that the stones in the coal were picked out and poured here. After a long time, they formed this nearly 100-meter-high waste rock hill. This was what his second uncle had told him to do. He had to follow the route he had taken. Zhiyuan remembered his uncle's advice and walked along the only road to the waste rock hill after crossing the railway crossing. The coal city was indeed worthy of its name. The bumpy asphalt road was covered with a layer of coal ash. The water in the potholes was black, and the withered grass on both sides of the road was covered in gray. Not far from the railway crossing, they saw a large courtyard filled with coal on the east side of the road. The bulldozer was pushing the pile of coal that had been transported down from the distant tower frame. There was a wall on the side of the courtyard that was close to the roadside. The other three sides were empty wilderness. The house in the courtyard was connected to a tower not far away. There was a huge wheel in the middle of the tower. A thick wire rope was wound around the wheel, and it would turn back and forth, knocking on the tower. Zhiyuan stopped to take a look. There was a row of simple houses next to the tower, and the wall was painted with striking red paint that read 'Safe Production ~ Bell Ring'. Five or six black people came out of one of the houses. It was impossible to see their faces and the color of their clothes. They were wearing black helmets, and the black color covered their entire body. Their expressions could not be seen. They held electric lights in their hands and hurriedly walked into a house with a tall chimney next door.
Zhiyuan continued to walk for another two or three miles. The land became wider. There were no villages or courtyards, only the high piles of waste rocks in the distance accompanied his loneliness. The surrounding scenery was the same, with potholes and uneven roads and black puddles. He suspected that he had gone in the wrong direction. He could not see the prosperity of the Kuangqu that his second uncle had mentioned. The surroundings were quiet and desolate. If it were not for the rumbling sounds coming from the waste rock mountain from time to time, he would have suspected that there was still life ahead.
Just when Zhiyuan was extremely anxious, a familiar figure rode from the north. This was exactly what Zhiyuan had hoped for, because his eyes had been fixed on the sparse passersby.
Fortunately, his cousin came to pick him up not long after he left. It turned out that his father had called his second uncle as soon as he left the station in the county town. Otherwise, Zhiyuan really didn't know how to find his second uncle's house in the high-rise coal mine family courtyard. Later, Zhiyuan learned from his second uncle's answer that it was a miner who had gone down to dig for coal. He had already gone up to take a bath. Zhiyuan imagined that if he could work in a coal mine, would he go down the well? What was it like down there? If he went down the well, would he be as black as the miner he saw that day? Zhiyuan started a new pursuit of a better life for tomorrow. He could only repair his uncertain heart with sweat and hard work. That was the only capital he had to save the future and find himself.
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