Give more love than Bradley
20 Out of the Black Way, Into a Mistake 1

Zhuang Yu

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(August 1998-February 1999)

He started looking for a new job. The few days of "blunder" at Boss Jia's place made me feel more and more guilty about finding a job. How to find a proper company? I couldn't figure it out day and night. One day, he suddenly thought of Zheng, the director of a government department that he often interacted with. He had been separated from the government for some time to engage in "property rights transactions". He even occupied a large office building of an unknown department. He had become the chairman of that department. He had heard that he needed manpower, so why not try his luck? So I took out my phone number and dialed it. As expected, he picked up the call. As soon as he heard that I wanted to find something to do under him, he immediately agreed and asked me to go over and talk to him. I couldn't believe how easy it was. With great hope, I quickly rushed to his office. There were signs of departments related to property rights transactions hanging everywhere in the building. Zheng was working in the " Chairman's Office " in the middle of the fourth floor. The door was open, and he was leaning on the table with his left hand to read some materials. His sparse hair was facing the door, and his hair was long and messy. He was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt on a hot day. I knocked on the door, but he didn't look up. He only snorted and continued to look at the materials. The office was not small, and the bulky, old-fashioned office furniture gave off a lethargic feeling. After a long while, he finally finished reading the materials. He slowly raised his head and pushed his glasses with one hand. He looked at me and smiled." Your brother is here so soon. Sit, sit."”"I'm here to ask for your help." "Sit down and talk. How have you been recently?”"It's a long story. He couldn't even find a proper job.”"That's too coincidental. I need someone here. You see, I'm so busy all day that I'm dizzy. I just need someone like you to help me.”His messy hair was draped over his forehead, and deep wrinkles had been added to his originally dark and yellow face. He did not look like the white and fat middle-aged officials who had lived a comfortable life in government agencies for a long time. Instead, he looked like a "capitalist roadster" who had been forced to the countryside during the "Cultural Revolution". Looking at his "destitute" appearance, I had a premonition that even if he had something for me to do here, it definitely wouldn't be a good job. He left his desk and walked to the sofa beside him. They sat down together. He took out a cigarette and waved it at me. I shook my head." You're still not coming?”By "this", he meant smoking. "I can't live without it. I have to smoke two or three packs a day now. I'm so worried that I can't help but think about it.”As he spoke, he lit a match and lit a cigarette for himself. "What's making you, the chairman, so worried?”"Money. I can't do anything without money. The people who were diverted from the government have all come to me. The government doesn't give me any funds and wants me to be responsible for my own profits and losses.”Although he didn't sigh, I could still hear the heaviness in his voice. As I expected, I couldn't do what he gave me." You came at the right time. Didn't you often deal with banks in the past? If you can borrow money from the bank, the position of general manager will be given to you.”When it came to borrowing money, I was already shocked. I was most afraid of borrowing money from the bank. Wasn't it because I couldn't borrow money for my retirement expenses that I was forced to resign by the retired workers? Now, I've become a " vagrant " myself. How can I have the face to go to the bank and borrow money? So, before the director could continue, I quickly interrupted him." Thank you for your kindness, Director. I really don't dare to be the general manager anymore, let alone borrow money from the bank. I just want to find an errand boy to do the specific things. It's fine as long as I can have a bowl of rice to eat.”When the director heard this, the smile on his face immediately disappeared. He said frankly," Brother, this is not a place for retirement. Those who come here have to be capable of earning money.”At this point, it was time for me to say," Director, I understand." Then I won't trouble you. I'll take my leave now.”"Brother, I'm sorry. Take care.”He wasn't interested in making me stay any longer. He watched me leave his office and went to sit in front of the old and heavy desk.

I also didn't dare to believe those high-sounding signs in the corridor. These signs that said that they were scary authorities were just a bluff. I really don't understand. What's going on with this society? It's fine if Boss Jia, who was born in the lower nine sects, used the company's cover to swindle people's money. At least it can be understood by my concept. After all, he's born in the lower nine sects. However, even the influential figures in the government used the company as a cover to do those dirty deeds. The experience of looking for a job made me disheartened. I really doubted whether there were any proper private bosses or companies in the provincial capital. In fact, my distress stemmed from myself. I used my own imagination to frame a "private boss", which was naturally incompatible with social reality. To put it bluntly, weren't private bosses big and small " capitalists " big and small? Wasn't the nature of capitalists only for profit? Old Ma had long said that capitalists were not afraid of being hanged for profit, so it was not surprising that they dared to do whatever they wanted. In the initial stage of reform and opening up, the private economy of the inland provincial cities was such a reality. Perhaps it would change in the future, but now he had to learn to accept this " reality " because his survival opportunity could only be found in this reality. Since he had chosen to work, he could not be afraid or avoid it. Although he was unwilling to give in to reality, he had to learn to be patient in reality. It should be acknowledged that China's reform and opening up was a great thing. At the very least, the living environment had improved step by step. Although the private economy had all kinds of sins, it could not be denied that it had opened up hundreds of millions of ways for society to survive. If it was not for the reopening of the private economy, it would be impossible for him to make a living after leaving the suffocating state-owned unit.

After understanding the "reality", I no longer complained. I had to adapt to reality. I went to the employment agency that introduced me to Boss Jia's company again. The secretary still remembered me. After I told her why I came, she immediately called the manager out. The manager must have seen many "returning customers", so he didn't make a fuss about me coming to him again. He asked,"Didn't they use you? Why didn't you do it?"”When I heard him say this, I guessed that he already knew that I had resigned from Boss Jia. I didn't dare to say what Boss Jia wanted me to do."I'm not suitable to do things there.”"Do you want to change to another restaurant?" "Hmm, do you have a suitable opportunity?”"You're lucky. Yesterday, a real estate company called to recruit a deputy general manager. Two people took the information from me. I don't think they can compare to you.”"Where is this company located?" "You don't have to go to their company. There's a large-scale job fair in the square on Sunday the day after tomorrow. Their company has set up a platform (recruitment position). I'll call their human resources department later and tell them about your situation.”Perhaps the manager wanted to please me, so he started to brag about this company."The family power of this boss is not something that the boss you went to last time can compare to. This is the richest and most well-connected company in the provincial capital. There's nothing you can't handle. He had opened a few clothing stores and developed real estate in several cities. There were places in both Shanghai and Hainan. His family's assets were probably tens of millions.”I was no longer interested in listening to his stories. Now, I would not easily believe anyone who said that they were rich or that they could "fight"("fight" meant that they could settle anything). I didn't even have any hope that this company was a righteous company. Whether it was good or bad depended on luck. After making up the lie about that company, I turned back and talked about the employment information he provided me,"How much real gold and silver is it? It's a salary of 1,500 yuan a month. Ordinary people can't get it." I understood the manager's meaning. He wanted me to pay more intermediary fees. Thinking that this intermediary was just a "begging" job, I couldn't be ordered around for nothing. I took out the change I got from Boss Jia, which was less than 100 yuan, and handed it over in half. The manager took it and bowed to me, muttering,"If it's not suitable, come again. I guarantee you'll find someone you're satisfied with."”He took out the small notebook from his pocket again and asked me to remember the name and contact number of the company that was recruiting. He also told me in detail how to find the position reserved by them at the job fair the day after tomorrow. He tried his best to please me. Seeing my brother's solicitous attitude, I suddenly felt emotional."He's not a government figure. He has to bend his back for a few buckets of rice like me. Am I the only one in this world who has a hard time living? Fine, fine, fine." At the thought of this, the "haze" that had been accumulating in his heart recently immediately "cleared up".

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