From the day I was discharged, I locked myself in my room and refused to talk to anyone. I didn't want them to care about me in the name of love. I couldn't take it. I used to live a good life without love. Now, all of a sudden, so much love came to me. I couldn't take it. I made Zou Xiangyang lose her life, and I made Yushan lie on the hospital bed. All the self-blame and guilt made me want to die.
Every day, Sister Li cooked for me in different ways, but I no longer knew what hunger was. Every day, other than reminiscing and missing, I felt like a walking corpse. Zou Xiangyang, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I know that you love me, but you never asked me to love you. Now that you're gone, other than my heart aching, why is my mind blank? I can't remember what we did in the past. I can't remember every single thing that happened between us. Was I too heartless, or did I choose to forget? Perhaps, it was just placed in a corner of his heart, gently hiding you deep inside. That way, you won't leave.
"Xiao He, Xiao He, are you awake? Brother is coming in." Mei Yu Jun gently knocked on the door, afraid of scaring the people in the room. She gently pushed the door open and entered. She smiled at me on the bed. Actually, anyone could see that there was a hint of bitterness in that smile. Looking at him, I wanted to say something but forgot. I didn't know what to say. Because no one could understand what heartache felt like. Grandfather, father, and even this brother in front of him, other than playing tricks with people in the business world every day, he did not know if they would feel heartache. Perhaps, they would always be happy, happy to see money enter every day. Perhaps, money was the source of their happiness. However, to build one's happiness on the pain of others. Could such happiness be called happiness? I'm used to seeing this kind of deception, which makes me very sad. She was really so sad that she was about to suffocate. He only wanted a life that belonged to him. He didn't want to chase after fame and fortune. He just wanted to live an ordinary life. However, there was no other way. People could not choose their own origins. They wanted to escape, but they could not avoid the entanglement of the secular world. I have no say in this family. Everything is arranged by my parents in advance.
"Little girl, what are you so engrossed in? Didn't you see me when I came in? This hurts me! Can't you see such a handsome guy?”My brother rubbed my head with his hand and giggled at me.
"Brother, can't you see that I'm very sad? Please, don't act like a love-struck fool when I'm sad, okay? Have you been very free recently? Why don't you help me?" She looked at her brother. I really wanted to say sorry, but I couldn't bring myself to say it.
"What is it? As long as you say it, I will definitely help you. Are you still worried about me?”Mei Yu Jun pulled Yu He's hand with pity. It was as if he wanted to give her confidence and courage.
"Brother, I want to go to Zou Xiangyang's house and give him some money, okay? After all, he lost his life because of me. I can't just ignore him, okay?”I looked at my brother pleadingly, even though I knew that he would definitely agree. But I'm still afraid that he won't agree. I'm really afraid, really afraid. My eyes were fixed on his mouth. I was afraid that he would say no, really. I'm afraid he'll refuse.
My brother seemed to have seen through my thoughts. He held my hand tightly and said,"Don't worry, I'll handle it. Don't worry! Are you sure you want to go to his house? "I don't think Mom and Dad will agree to it. Although he saved you and Yushan, Mom asked me to give 10,000 yuan to his parents that day. Mom didn't take it. She said that the driver compensated them. It was enough for them to live for the rest of their lives. She said that her son didn't want your money when he saved you. I've never seen such a family before. It's true." Mei Yu Jun sighed. In this day and age where everything was decided by money, the old man's words made him feel extremely ashamed.
"Brother, you're thinking too much. Don't you think they're such a good family? I just want to take a look. Really, I know that he has a lot of things to say to me, but he didn't have the time to say it. Can you take me to take a look tomorrow?”I looked at my brother pleadingly. Perhaps, it was to clear his conscience.
"Alright then! I'll definitely bring you there tomorrow. Now, you can sleep in peace!”My brother helped me tuck in and patted my head lovingly. Watching me fall asleep. "Xiao He, what should I do with you?”
In my dreams, I seemed to see Zou Xiangyang. He was still so sunny. He kept smiling at me, but he didn't say anything. From his eyes, I could see that he had a lot to say to me, but why didn't he say anything? I called him, but he just smiled and didn't say a word. Why, why did it turn out like this? I fell asleep in a daze.
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