Laughing 30,000 Times with Jun Zui, Not Complaining About the Pain of Separation
[Azure Narration]
"Haven't you heard that men and women shouldn't touch each other? You can't touch a girl's breasts casually!”
I said," Yeah, I just don't understand why men and women should not touch each other…" I was immersed in the whirlpool of memories and complained," There was another time, in order to study the body structure of men, I got another minor character drunk at night. With my previous experience, I think it's better to observe while the other party is unconscious and there's no one around. After I took off his clothes, after careful observation, I felt that his body structure was similar to my own…Then I touched his chest and felt that there was no strange feeling like last time.”
At this point, I couldn't help but ask Xiaoyu," Do you think it's because a girl's chest makes people feel uncomfortable? Is that why men and women shouldn't touch each other?”
"Uh…" Xiaoyu uttered a single syllable.
I sighed." I thought this was a big discovery, so I rushed home to record it. I forgot that the guy was still naked. In the end, the next day, before I could get up from bed, I was beaten half to death by my father again. What did his father say,'You vile creature! Not only did he flirt with a woman, but he also flirted with a man!!'Tell me, am I innocent?"
Xiaoyu fell silent again. After a moment, his eyes lit up and he said,""It's a miracle that you're still alive…"
I nodded." I'm a boy. My body is much tougher than a girl's!" I rolled up my sleeves and showed Xiaoyu the red marks on my hands. Then, I rolled up my pants and showed her the bruises on my legs. Finally, I said,"I still have a lot of whip wounds on my back. Do you want to see them?"”
"I think it's better not to…Now isn't the time to compare who's more miserable, right?" Xiaoyu said.”
I was a little disappointed. It was rare for someone to be willing to listen to me say so much in one breath…However, what she said made sense. I thought about it and asked her,"You just said that you are from Shouyang?"”
She blinked her eyes and I said,"Good! When you're better, we'll go to Shouyang first!”
"And then?" Xiaoyu asked me. Brother, where are you going?"
I jumped up from the ground and said,"Then…I'm going to Mount Kunlun to cultivate!" " When I return, hehe, hehe…" I thought of a beautiful future blueprint. When the time came, I would flatten the Yun Family Village with one foot and make it a veritable " peaceful " village…
Xiaoyu flinched slightly and quickly said,""Then…can I go with my brother?”
"No problem!" I'll be a good person until the end. When you master your martial arts, you can come back and take revenge!”
I picked up a grilled fish and brought it to Xiaoyu's mouth.""From now on, Brother Tianqing will take care of you. Fishing in the river, there is one for me and one for you. When I go into the forest to hunt birds, there is one for me and one for you. When hunting pigs on the mountain, there's one for me and one for you. Birds and beasts, flowers, birds, fish, and insects were all in his bag, and he was free to do whatever he wanted!”
Xiaoyu's eyes were clearly filled with tears. It was obvious that she had been influenced by me.
She seemed to have been preparing for a long time before she whispered,"Brother, from now on, wherever you go, I'll go.”
Her pitch-black eyes firmly conveyed one thing: I won't give up my life anymore. I want to live well.
To live with you.
[Little Fish Narration]
After I really set off with Brother Yun, I realized that with a curious baby, even a five-minute walk can make him walk through 18 twists and turns.
He had already reached the city gate of Shouyang, but he insisted on going around Bagong Mountain first. Along the way, he kept commenting,"Aiya, the rural-urban fringe is really different. Even the mosquitoes are so big.”
"Oh, this is a rare centipede.”
"Don't you feel that the air in Bagong Mountain has a fresh and fragrant smell? Tsk, you must have been here for too long and your senses have become numb.”
With all these, she could not have a moment of peace with him.
They strolled until they had almost circled Bagong Mountain. When they saw dusk, he said seriously,"Let's go into the city to see the night view!"
The residents of Shouyang lived a strict life. They worked at sunrise and rested at sunset. Those who wanted to see the night scene would be disappointed.
However, God had already arranged a good show before they could enjoy the night view.
Halfway down the mountain, he suddenly saw a few figures in front of him, accompanied by a wonderful conversation.
"All my money and valuables are here. All that's left is my old life!”
"Your clothes are obviously not made of coarse hemp. How can you only have this little bit of silver on you? If you don't hand it over obediently, don't blame us brothers for taking it ourselves.”
"Big brother, why waste your breath on him? We'll just kill him and search him!”
"Don't talk about killing. Sister-in-law just had a child recently. Eldest Brother naturally can't see blood. He has to accumulate virtue for the child ~"
When Brother Yun heard this, he suddenly laughed.
A few bandits suddenly woke up and turned their heads to look at us.
One of them laughed loudly." Ha, our luck is really good today. We caught one and got another pair.”
Brother Yun was not afraid at all. He still smiled and said,"We just got so much silver, it's enough for your baby to buy milk powder for half a year ~ It's a pity that our family is poor. Why don't you accumulate some good deeds and give us some of the stolen goods to take the exam in Shangjing?”
The bandits laughed and one of them said,""Why are you still rushing for the exam? Why don't you just come to our place and plant grass!”After saying that, he walked over aggressively.
Seeing that they were serious, Brother Yun could not help but panic. He took a step back and said anxiously,"Hey, hey, hey, let's talk things out! My brother and I really don't have any money. The money that my parents gave us is all here! Don't, don't do anything. I'll give it to you!”
The leader of the bandits seemed to laugh at him, and then he stretched out his hand to ask for money from Brother Yun.
Brother Yun's hands trembled. He took out a money bag from his pocket and poured out a few pieces of silver into the bandit's hand.
The person behind him was not satisfied. Leave some for us too!" After saying that, they stepped forward one by one, pushed the first person away, and lined up one by one to ask for money.
Brother Yun obediently distributed the items one by one in fear.
When they were almost done, they suddenly heard someone shout," What's this?!"
Immediately after, a group of bandits shouted one after another.
Brother Yun straightened his clothes and smiled calmly."This? It's a poisonous spider imported from the Western Regions. Have you heard of the Black Widow? If one was bitten by it, within three days, their entire body would fester and they would bleed to death. It's really a must-have pet for killing people at home and traveling ~"
The bandits looked at each other in shock, but the leader remained calm and said,"Little brother, there are many people who play this trick of yours. Don't think that we will fall for it.”
"If you don't believe me, you can come and kill me." Brother Yun laughed. However, the secret recipe for the antidote will be buried with me ~"
The bandits suddenly fell silent.
Taking advantage of this gap, I said in the Qingcheng dialect,"Brother, I told you not to use the Tang Sect's family poison on civilians. If the boss were to find out that there were seven or eight people in this mountain with their flesh rotting off and their eyes falling out of their bodies while they watched maggots crawling all over their bodies…how could he not suspect us?”
The bandit leader was shocked.""You…Your excellency is actually from the Tang Sect?”
Brother Yun smiled at me and smiled gently at the leader. He said word by word in an authentic Qingcheng accent,"That's right. No one seemed to have said that people from the Tang Sect couldn't rush to the capital for the examination, right? There seemed to be a fellow who said that he wanted to turn the Tang Sect into bandits just now.”
There was a commotion among the bandits, and they quickly brought the poor fellow to us.
"Sirs, please calm down. I'll tear this person into pieces right now. Please be magnanimous and tell me the antidote formula for the unique poison.”The leader cupped his hands and said these words. Then, he pulled out his saber and prepared to dismember his subordinates.
Brother Yun swiftly raised his leg and kicked. The waist knife flew out of the bandit's hand and into the sky. In the next moment, it landed in his own hand.
After witnessing this skill, the bandits were all convinced. They hurriedly knelt down and begged for mercy in unison.
Brother Yun ordered them to return all the stolen things to the victims and hand over all the stolen goods to be confiscated. Seeing that the other party was quite sincere, he had at least handed over the antidote formula. After that, they quickly returned home and soaked their bodies in ice water for three days and three nights. They could not eat anything and could not have sex for a year to ensure that there would be no sequelae.
In the end, he even patted the bandit brother's shoulder and reminded him,""Right, the poison of the 'Black Widow' is very overbearing. If it touches even the slightest bit of meat within a year, it will revive. Oh, and in the future, when you eat, it's best not to put salt in your food. Otherwise…I'm afraid that you won't be able to do it in the future, hehe ~"
The bandits kowtowed repeatedly and rolled away without stopping.
When they ran far away, Brother Yun rushed to the victim's side. I followed him and saw that it was an old man.
Although the First Master had just encountered a sudden change, he was very calm. He could even stand up and bow to Brother Yun and me."Thank you, two heroes, for saving me. I, Liu Shifeng, will definitely reward the two of you with generous gifts!”
Brother Yun smiled." What are you talking about? It's nothing. It's a small matter." But…what kind of gift is it?"
I felt dizzy.
Liu Shifeng answered without hesitation,""To tell you the truth, I am the new county magistrate of Shouyang City, and I am currently lacking in talents. If you are interested, I will definitely arrange a good official position for my benefactor.”
When Brother Yun heard this, he pretended to faint and smiled."Sir System, I'm not even in my twenties yet. How can I rise to the level of 'Duke' so quickly…"
Uncle Liu thought for a moment and nodded.""That makes sense. Then…if you don't mind, how about we call each other brothers?”
"I told you not to call me benefactor…" Brother Yun scratched his head.
"It's getting late. Why don't you two come to my house to rest for the night?" Uncle Liu was eager to repay his kindness.”
Brother Yun crossed his arms and thought for a moment. I seemed to hear him muttering something like "you have to spend money to stay in an inn". Then, he grabbed Uncle Liu's hand and smiled sincerely."Then I'll have to trouble you, big brother."
I felt dizzy again.
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