On a cold winter night in January, Ding Nan stood on the road at the entrance of the National Normal University. He was in a daze. Sun Guowei's gentle voice came from the phone."You didn't do well? If he didn't do well, he could take the exam next year. If he didn't do well next year, he could take the exam the year after. Why did he have to apologize?”
"I know you want me to do well in the exams. You helped me buy so much information for the postgraduate entrance examination and even gave me an electronic dictionary. I feel like I've let you down. Besides, he had spent more than half a year on it.”she whimpered.
"Don't cry. Don't think too much. Hurry up and go home. I'll visit you tomorrow." He consoled her on the other end of the phone.
When spring arrived, there was some good news and some bad news.
In the middle of March, Ding Nan found out that her postgraduate entrance examination results had actually passed the preliminary examination. Not long after, she received a notice to participate in the second examination. That day, she was in a good mood. She went to her favorite Holunge Pizzas buffet with Sun Guowei and had a big meal. The two of them ate for two hours. Before she came out, Sun Guowei even gave her a bad idea. He said,"Why don't we secretly decorate the bag again?" She laughed out loud. Haha, to think that you're a teacher and a member of the People's Liberation Army. How could you think of such an embarrassing thing?
At the end of the month, Sun Guowei was informed that he was one of the two students sent to study in Russia by his unit this year. He hesitated for a moment.
"What's there to hesitate about?”She asked him when she saw his frown.
"There are advantages and disadvantages." He sighed and said.
"Oh? First listen to the good things to nourish the ears, and then listen to the bad things.”
"The benefits are that I can go out and see the outside world. When I come back, it's equivalent to a postgraduate degree. I can be promoted to associate professor directly and don't have to work so hard to take the postgraduate entrance examination like you guys.”
"Anything else?"
"Also, haha, I can save some money to come back. The subsidy for going abroad is much higher than in China, and it costs less there.”He smiled triumphantly. After getting to know her, he would occasionally reveal his pure side. The indifference that kept people at arm's length from before gradually disappeared. When he looked at her, his eyes no longer had that terrifying sense of alienation and emptiness. Instead, they were always filled with a gentle smile.
"Haha, is there more?"
"There won't be any benefits."
"Then let's talk about the disadvantages. I have to be prepared.”
"As for the disadvantages, it's been three years.”
"Be more specific."
"I'm already old and haven't married yet. How old will I be when I come back three years later? It's even harder to find me. My mother used to be anxious about this matter. When she heard that I was going abroad, she said that she would go abroad after getting married. Otherwise, she wouldn't go abroad. There are less than five months left. We still have to go to the Nanjing Military Region for two months of training. That means there are only three months left.”
"Far away in the horizon, right in front of you.”She looked at him and said half-jokingly.
Sun Guowei looked at her for a long time. The smile on his face disappeared and he looked very conflicted. After a while, he said,
"When I was at home during the Spring Festival, I tried to tell my mother about your situation.”He stopped, looking like he wanted to say something but hesitated.
"And then? It's okay. I can take it very well. Continue.”she asked, knowing that the rest of the story was not good.
"She said that in this situation, don't even think about it.”He paused for a long time and finally said it.
"What do you think?" Her heart sank as she asked, as if she wanted to make one last gamble.
" I don't think I'll ever meet a woman who understands me so well like you again." He leaned forward and held her hand on the table tightly. His eyes widened as he asked her anxiously,"
"Can you wait for me? Can you wait for me? I'll immediately find a random woman to marry. Once I get married, I'll find an excuse to get a divorce. After that, I'll marry you. This way, I'll have an explanation for my mother and she won't say anything else. Alright? Alright?"
She was stunned and looked at him in shock. She felt a sharp pain in her heart, but her mind was blank and she could not speak.
"Love matters often change. Can you and I control it? Maybe she fell in love with you and didn't want a divorce, or maybe you fell in love with her and didn't want a divorce?”she asked after a long silence.
Later on, she often despised herself for being humble at that time. Ding Nan, as long as you still had some backbone, after hearing what he said, you should have stood up confidently and turned around to leave. If you can't keep love, at least you can keep your dignity. However, at that time, Ding Nan said to herself,'Can dignity and backbone give me hope?' If I don't try my best to fight for even a 1% chance and possibility for myself, I will definitely regret it in the future!
"I always thought you were a smart and confident woman. Are you not confident?" He asked. He held her hand and did not move, but his body leaned back and looked straight at her.
"What is confidence? What was intelligence? Sometimes, behind confidence and intelligence was enduring humiliation and pretending to be stupid. If that's the case, I don't want it. I'd rather be a stupid woman.”she said weakly.
He put his arm around her shoulders across the table and stopped talking.
On a Friday night in April, Ding Nan was preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination. Sun Guowei called and said that he couldn't go to see her on Saturday morning like usual. He had to go to look for a house with his colleagues in the morning and go to see her at three or four in the afternoon.
"Do you want to buy a house?" she asked.
"I do. My mom gave me 150,000 yuan, and I've saved up some after working for so many years. I want to book a house in my sister's name. I'll put it aside for now and use it as an appreciation. That way, when they got married, the unit would give them another set. I'll look for you in the afternoon.”he said over the phone.
"Oh, alright."
For some reason, she felt uneasy. She kept thinking about this matter before she went to bed at night. In a daze, she seemed to see him enter a very exquisite Chinese restaurant. He pushed open the door of a private room, put down his bag, and sat down. Soon, two women entered the private room. They seemed to be mother and daughter. The older one was about 50 or 60 years old, the fat one was about 30 years old, and the younger one was about 30 years old. She was wearing a cream-white three-quarter-sleeved windbreaker. She was tall and thin, and her skin was relatively fair. She looked at Sun Guowei with a slightly reserved look, and she did not smile. After a long time, they came out together. After walking for a while, Sun Guowei hailed a taxi and gave the driver some money. The mother and daughter got in. The moment the young woman closed the car door, she turned around and looked at Sun Guowei. Ding Nan involuntarily leaned forward and widened his eyes. He tried hard to see the woman's face, but he woke up at this moment. It was just a dream.
When she woke up, she couldn't fall asleep anymore. She turned on her phone and looked at the time. It was only three o'clock in the morning. She lay on the bed with her eyes closed, feeling lost until dawn.
At three o'clock in the afternoon, someone knocked on the door. Rong Xiaozhen and Ya Jing weren't there. She thought it was Sun Guowei, so she went to open the door.
He opened the door and stood outside with his bag and a paper bag filled with colorful flyers.
After sitting down on her bed, he asked her, who was sitting on the sofa opposite him,""What are you doing today?"
"I'm preparing for the second interview. What about you? Where did you go?" she said, staring at him.
"Looking at the house. Didn't I tell you? She went to several places in the city with her colleagues.”He smiled as he took out the flyer from the paper bag and showed it to her.
She took it and saw that it was indeed a property flyer from a real estate company. She flipped through it and casually put it aside.
"Did you go on a blind date?" she asked calmly, looking into his eyes.
"No, what are you thinking?"
"I had a dream last night. I dreamed that you went to see a mother and daughter. Mother accompanied her daughter." she said. She really wanted to verify the authenticity of this dream.
He stared at her in a daze and did not speak for a long time.
"Are you really that kind of person? Is that why God gave you the most realistic dream? I did go to see a mother and daughter.”he said after a long pause.
She looked at him and her tears could not stop flowing.
He walked over, squatted down, and wiped her tears away. He hugged her and whispered,""I'm sorry! Scold me. I only have you in my heart. When I meet other people, my mind is filled with you. I hurriedly ate lunch and wanted to hurry over to accompany you. Can you wait for me to get married before you divorce me? Can you wait for me?"
She hugged his head and cried. At that time, she did not understand what kind of result she should expect in this relationship. Should she continue to gamble? She was at a loss.
In mid-April, Rong Xiaozhen got a divorce. It was an agreement. As for how the family's assets were distributed, he never told her about it. Ding Nan forgot to ask about it later. During that period of time, he was also elusive. He was nowhere to be seen all day long. It was said that he was starting a company with his friends.
That night, Ya Jing asked her,"Rong 'er can earn money and take care of the family. Can't you two do it?" I think the two of you are more suitable than you and the People's Liberation Army.”Sometimes, when Sun Guowei came to visit her, they were all there. She told them about the two of them and also about her divorce and children.
Ding Nan smiled and said,"No, we're too familiar with each other. I don't feel anything at all." I think he's too familiar with me and doesn't have any feelings for me.”
"Then how are you doing with the People's Liberation Army?”Jing asked again.
"Just like that." Ding Nan smiled bitterly.
"If it doesn't work, then find another one. I think he's unmarried and has good conditions. It's a little mysterious.”Ya Jing said, as if she understood her difficulties.
On Sunday morning, Ding Nan was reading a book when her phone on the bed rang. She thought it was Sun Guowei, and a sense of resentment rose from the bottom of her heart. She wanted to deliberately give him a cold shoulder and reply to him later, so she did not read the message. Ten minutes later, she couldn't help but be curious again. She went to take a look and found that it was Liu Fang.
"I'll go find you." Liu Fang said.
"I just saw the message. Looking for me? Why?" Ding Nan replied.
"Haha, if I say that I like you, will you be shocked?”Liu Fang quickly replied.
"Haha, would you be shocked if I told you that my son is about to enter primary school?”Ding Nan thought for a moment and replied.
"I'm not joking with you. I'm serious. My girlfriend has a bad temper. I've been holding it in for a long time. Yesterday, she actually threw my new phone into the toilet and flushed it away. I just added a new number. This is an old phone. I've had enough of being so willful and unreasonable. I feel more relaxed with you.”Liu Fang sent a long message.
"I'm not joking with you. What I said is true. However, you have to understand that there's only one reason why it feels so easy for two people to get along. There's still a distance between them, and their relationship isn't close enough. No couple who loved each other deeply would have an easy time together from the beginning to the end. If you don't hurt your bones after a love, then you can't be considered to have loved!”Ding Nan replied.
"Really?" Liu Fang asked.
"The beauty of love is not pure or absolute. True love is not exciting without worries and pain! Otherwise, where would the unforgettable memories come from? Without pain, how could it be engraved in his heart? Remember, love without pain is not true love!”For some reason, her thoughts were in turmoil and she was filled with emotions.
There was silence on the other end.
When they met again at work, the two of them felt a little awkward. Seeing that there was no one around, Liu Fang asked her with an unnatural smile,"Is what you said true? It's about your divorce and your child."
"Shh, it's true, but keep it a secret for me. Don't tell anyone yet. I don't like other people's strange gazes. I don't want sympathy or pity.”She used her index finger to make a hush gesture and said softly.
Liu Fang widened his eyes and looked at her for about 20 seconds before walking away.
She returned to her desk and sat down. Just as she was about to read the news online, a message came in. She grabbed it and saw that it was her good friend Sun Yan who had gone to America two years ago.
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。