Li Yunlong had been in a bad mood recently, mainly because his relationship with his wife, Tian Yu, had become more and more tense. The reason was that in the anti-right movement that swept across the country last year, Tian Yu's parents were both identified as extreme right-wingers and fired from public office. They were sent to the Xingkai Lake labor camp in the Great Northern Wilderness for re-education through labor. After Tian Yu heard the news, she cried for an entire day and night and fell seriously ill. Li Yunlong was not surprised by his parents-in-law's experience. He had long felt that this pair of old scholars were not law-abiding people. Their words were too out of line. They always had a deep prejudice against the party. They said things like supervision of power, laymen could not lead experts, and freedom of speech. In Li Yunlong's ears, these words were indeed very revolutionary. The power of the Chinese People's Liberation Army was exchanged for thousands of martyrs with their blood. Could they hand it over?
Take turns in power? To think that these right-wingers could think of this. No freedom of speech? Of course, we can't give the counter-revolutionary and right-wing people the right to spout nonsense. Otherwise, wouldn't they be rebelling against the heavens? It was good to go for a makeover. He could learn a lesson and take off his hat after the makeover. That was what he thought and advised his wife. Who knew that Tian Yu did not appreciate it at all. Instead, she looked at him with a strange gaze. He had never noticed that his usually gentle wife would have such a gaze. She was extremely disappointed, heartbroken, angry, and contemptuous. That gaze was too complicated.
His wife finally lowered her head and said nothing. However, Li Yunlong found out that Tian Yu had moved her bedding into another bedroom on the same day and no longer lived with him. This made Li Yunlong very angry. He did not like women using this method to threaten their husbands. This was a contempt for their husband's rights. He slept alone for a few nights in a fit of pique, expressing that he did not care. He hoped that he would move back after his wife's anger subsided. He did not expect Tian Yu to be prepared to live separately for a long time and had no intention of changing her mind. Li Yunlong, who was alone in the empty room, spent every night tossing and turning in bed, unable to endure hunger and thirst. In a fit of anger, he moved to the military headquarters and never returned home.
Feng Nan:
Hello. I haven't written to you for a long time. I miss you very much. Are you and Zhao Gang living well in Beijing? I really want to see you. I feel very lonely now, really, very lonely.
He didn't even have a friend to confide in. Thinking back to the past, you and I laughed and talked, cutting the candle to the west window. Now, you're gone like a yellow crane. I really shouldn't have introduced you to a good husband and let you die of old age in your boudoir. There were no stars in the night, and my heart was beating fast. It was as if I had heard a voice calling from afar. I suddenly woke up from my dream. I looked out the window at the vast night sky and the dim yellow light that flickered like a fishing fire in the distance. I tried hard to recall the scene in the dream just now. When I tried to recall this strange and absurd dream clearly, I had lost the vague details. Only one picture was unusually clear. It was like a wild land, surrounded by a layer of milky white fog. The sky was chaotic. It was sunny and cloudy. Some people walked in groups on the wilderness. Their faces were shining with a metallic luster. They walked towards me. I could vaguely tell that my father and mother were among them. That scene was like a silent movie. No matter how hard I cried, they all looked up and seemed to not see me. They brushed past me. I turned around to chase after them, but I couldn't catch up no matter how hard I tried. The white fog in front of me was misty and boundless. There was a faint scene in and out of the vast expanse, and their figures floated into the far-reaching expanse…I sat in front of the window, my heart beating wildly, and my entire body was soaked in cold sweat. Could this be some kind of warning from the heavens? I was puzzled. Feng Nan, I don't understand. I really don't understand. What's going on? Recently, I accidentally came across some internal information and was shocked. In this anti-right movement, there were more than 500,000 people who were identified as right-wingers, and more than 90% of them were intellectual and high-level intellectual. You may have seen it in the newspapers. My parents were among them, and there were many old seniors that you and I were familiar with. They were repeatedly mobilized to help the party rectify the situation and give suggestions to the party. In the end, they ended up like this. It was said that this was called luring a snake out of its hole. It was too terrifying. As for the right and wrong of this movement, I don't want to judge it because it's too complicated. I just think that in a country where there are already very few intellectual people, if we put more than 500,000 of them into another book at once, it will bring disastrous consequences to our nation. This kind of disaster will gradually appear in the years to come, and our nation's rationality will gradually lose. Today, who could stop a nation from sliding towards disaster? Old Li and I have officially separated because we really can't communicate. He thought that my parents deserved what they had suffered. His coldness made me feel cold all of a sudden. I seemed to know him again. Although the term human nature had disappeared in this era, there should still be some human nature in family life. If I couldn't find any warmth brought by human nature in the family, what was the meaning of life? I once thought about divorce, but I immediately dismissed the idea because I found out that I was pregnant again. I wanted to tell you that this was my last child. From now on, I won't have any more children. Other than the relationship between husband and wife, I also have another thought. I have no right to let more lives come into this world to suffer. I can't predict what kind of disaster will be waiting for my children in the future. Thinking of this, I can't help but tremble. Feng Nan, I'm looking forward to your reply. Tell me about your recent situation. Greetings to Comrade Zhao Gang. You are really lucky to have a chivalrous and soft-hearted general by your side. You should be content.
Greetings!]
Tian Yu, March 2, 1958
Tian Yu:
Hello! After receiving your letter, I didn't delay for even a minute. I immediately put down what I was doing and wrote back to you so that you wouldn't complain. Who could refuse a beauty's request? Even if she was a woman, what a joke. I don't want to comfort you too much. At this time, any comfort is very empty. I only hope that you will be strong and hold on.
I just want to tell you that in the movement that just passed, if it wasn't for a coincidental reason, I would have been doomed. When the movement first started last year, our Beijing Normal University was deserted. The secretary of the party branch of my department sincerely worked one by one, mobilizing professors and lecturers to give suggestions to the party. He also said that those who were unwilling to give suggestions were alienated from the party, and those who helped the party rectify its mistakes were those who truly loved the party. Everyone could not sit still when they heard this because this logic was ready-made. Those who were unwilling to help the party correct its mistakes must have ulterior motives.
Moreover, it wasn't that they didn't have any objections. They were just being extremely cautious. You know, I also have a cannon temper. I never intend to hide my views. Since the party's cadre personally mobilized, I will hide my words. Sakurari was in a bad situation, so I thought of a few things to say at the meeting. Who knew that Old Zhao suddenly decided to go to Beidai River for recuperation that night and insisted that I go with him. At that time, I was very strange because Old Zhao never used his annual recuperation leave. This was the first time he took the initiative to propose it, and he was impatient. I said that I was very busy with work now and couldn't go with him.
I didn't expect him to suddenly fly into a rage and lose his temper at me. He said that I never cared about him and even threatened to divorce me if I didn't accompany him. This scared me so much. I thought that he must have encountered something that didn't go his way. Otherwise, he would never be like this. You know, we never quarreled after we got married. We were always respectful and loving. I love him more than I love myself. With your and Old Li's help, I found him in the vast sea of people. Tell me, how can I bear to lose him? Even if I make him angry, I feel that it's my fault. So I immediately compromised, apologized to him, and asked for his forgiveness. I packed my luggage at once. I didn't care about work, meetings, or songs. What could be more important than my beloved husband? As you may have guessed, more than 20 professors and lecturers in our department were labeled as right-wing, but I miraculously escaped the disaster. Think about it, if I didn't accompany Zhao to recuperate at that time, but attended the concert, with my personality, how could I not speak? I once asked Old Zhao about this matter. Did he hear something or have a premonition that he tricked me into leaving? He just smiled faintly and said," I just want you to accompany me to recuperate. It will be the same in the future. In the future, I will need you to accompany me every year. You can't hide even if you want to. Otherwise, I will divorce you." It's true. Old Zhao is still a mystery to me. In recent years, he has become less and less talkative. When he has free time, he would go into the study. There were a few times when I walked into the study and found him sitting blankly, his eyes looking out the window and thinking hard. I know that he is thinking about some important things and trying hard to find the answer, but he is unwilling to communicate with others, even with me. Tian Yu, I read about Uncle and Auntie in the newspaper. I feel sad for you. I can feel your pain and confusion. You have read a lot of books these years. Knowledge makes you profound, gives you wisdom, and also makes you suffer. Hegel said that in a profound soul, even pain does not lose its beauty. You should understand that only those without thoughts have no pain. I told Old Zhao about your situation. He jumped for a long time and only said one sentence: character is fate. Compared to the long river of history, a tragic ending was not necessarily a tragedy. When talking about your relationship with Old Li, Old Zhao said that he and Old Li have known each other for many years and know each other very well. He has shortcomings, a rough personality, no culture, and is often self-centered. However, he was upright and warm-hearted. In the face of evil, he would always be a brave hero. Once he awakened, his courage would surpass that of ordinary people. Old Zhao was ashamed of his inferiority. He said that he and Li Yunlong had very different personalities. The only similarity between them was their tragic personalities. Finally, Zhao Gang asked me to tell you that he is willing to use his character to guarantee that Li Yun Long may be a flawed husband, but he is a well-known man with a heroic temperament. Zhao Gang will never be wrong about this. He hopes that Tian Yu can be tolerant and understanding. Divorce is a big deal. It's not the best solution. Please consider it carefully. Old Li also needs time to perfect himself. Tian Yu, you have to pull yourself together. You have many things that others envy, such as beauty, wisdom, and friendship. Remember, whether you are happy or sad, you have a good friend to bless you and share your worries. If you tell your happiness to a friend, you will get two joys. If you tell your worries to a friend, you will have half of your worries. Greetings!
Feng Nan, March 9, 1958
Tian Yu:
I'm writing to you from Xingkai Lake Labor Camp. Maybe I won't write again in the future. You can take this as your last letter.
I think you already know that your father and I are both classified as right-wing, and the conclusion is that we are on the extreme right. They were currently undergoing labor reform. Your father and I are not in the same division, so we don't have the chance to meet. Our main job is to do farm work. We are now digging ditches to dredge the irrigation system. It is late to thaw in the northeast. In March, the land is still frozen as hard as rock. We have to use steel drills and heavy hammers to freeze it. Everyone is working very hard. Our women's team is all intellectual. We can't lift our shoulders or hands. We are used to living a comfortable life. When we first came, everyone felt at a loss in the face of the hard life and the harsh natural environment. They felt that the future was bleak. The government supervisors found that our thoughts were very pessimistic, so they organized everyone to study in time. We learned Leader Mao's "Urging Du Yuming to Surrender". After discussion, everyone suddenly felt happy, especially the last sentence of Leader Mao's article. Today, there was no need to say all the empty words. It was better to do practical work to make contributions to the family, so as to avoid fleeing and being despised by the people... After reading it, everyone was moved to tears. I also sobbed. This sentence really hit the bottom of our hearts. We, the capitalist intelligentsia, are covered in the mud of the old society. The government is really benevolent to us, the capitalist intelligentsia. They give us excellent living conditions, give us full democracy, and create all kinds of good environments for our work. However, we bite the hand that feeds us. We use the party's Rectification Movement to attack the party wildly. Now that I think about it, we are indeed sinful. it is difficult to get rid of the evil that flows. Now, in order to save us, the party has carried out labor reform and given us a way out in life. Where else would there be such a lenient policy other than the party? Our gratitude could not be expressed in words. We could only cry and shout, Long live the party! We are determined to use the sweat of labor to wash away our sins, turn over a new leaf, be a new person, and strive to take off the label of the right wing as soon as possible and return to the ranks of the people. If our sins affect your political future, we can only ask for your forgiveness. Please draw a line between us. We are not worthy of being your parents. You have to take care.
Shen Danhong March 10, 1958
Tian Yu rushed into the bedroom, closed the door carefully, and lowered the curtains. Then, she threw herself onto the bed and bit the corner of the quilt with her mouth. She cried silently. Her entire body trembled violently, spasmed, and tears flowed like a fountain. She found it hard to believe that this letter full of remorse and humility had been written by her mother, who had once been so proud, so talented, so graceful, and so noble. Now, she seemed to have changed into a different person. Not only had she lost any self-esteem, but even her writing style had become like that of a young middle school student's essay.
Heavens, this was too terrifying. Li Yunlong accidentally saw Shen Danhong's letter. After reading it, he was in a good mood and said to his wife,
"That's right. It doesn't matter if you make a mistake. It was too much to say that he wanted to draw a clear line. No matter what, she's still your mother. She's my mother-in-law. She's still a family member. You should write to them and ask them to reform themselves. They should strive to take off their hats as soon as possible. In the future, they won't have anywhere to go, so they can live here. We should take care of the elderly and send them off. We should still do our filial piety.”Tian Yu didn't say anything. She just glanced at Li Yun Long with a complicated look. There was gratitude, but also indifference and indifference.
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