When I was asleep, I had a very long dream. I dreamed of my mother. She was still so beautiful and gentle. She flew down from the sky and stopped in front of me. She opened her arms to me and said," Mocheng, my child, mommy is here to pick you up." I ran excitedly to her arms, but she suddenly disappeared. I called her desperately and looked for her desperately, but I couldn't find her. Later, I realized that I was lost. I suddenly found myself in a field of azalea flowers and couldn't find the way out. I walked for a long time in a daze and saw a sleeping girl under the shade of a tree. I called her a few times and finally woke her up. To be precise, she was woken up by me. After she woke up, she kept staring at me. She was very cute, the kind I was familiar with. I seemed to have seen her somewhere before. I wanted her to take me out. She said she could take me out on the condition that I listen to her tell a story. After she finished her story, I followed her out of the sea of azalea flowers. Then I saw my mother. She was smiling gently at me. I immediately ran to her and even forgot to say goodbye to the girl. Oh right, the girl I forgot to say goodbye to, I must have seen her somewhere.
This might be the last time I held a pen. I slept for a few days, and when I woke up, I found that I was weak all over. He had wanted to write a will for a long time. Because he was unwilling to leave, he had delayed it until now. If he did not write it today, he might not have the chance. Because I knew that I couldn't wait for her to take the college entrance examination. The only regret I had left in this world was her. I really would never see her again. I wrote her a letter and wanted to send it to her, but I hoped that she would never see it in this life.
What could be considered pain? Wretched? A fate worse than death? Even breathing hurts? If he could still feel pain, it meant that he was still conscious. But if he couldn't even feel pain, then what was the difference between this person and death?
When Du Qinru happily pushed open the door of Lin Xinlan's room with Lin Xinlan's admission letter, she saw this scene: Lin Xinlan, who had lost her soul, sat on the ground and leaned weakly against the bed. Her eyes were fixed on the notebook on the ground. Her dull eyes were like those of a patient with dementia.
Lin Xinlan's reaction frightened Du Qinru. She immediately put down the notice and squatted down beside her, asking her softly," Xinlan, why are you sitting on the ground?”Lin Xinlan remained unmoved, like a lifeless puppet.
Du Qinru carefully placed her hand on her shoulder and called her twice. She suddenly looked away and saw that the person beside her was Du Qinru. She suddenly hugged her and her tears finally burst. Her world finally collapsed at that moment." Mom, he, he's dead, he's dead, he's dead…"
Du Qinru was shocked at first. Of course, she didn't know who the 'he' that Lin Xinlan was talking about was, but Lin Xinlan's heart-wrenching cries made her heart ache. She gently patted her shoulder and carefully asked,"Xin Lan, tell Mommy, what happened?”
Lin Xinlan didn't answer and just kept crying. The painful truth made her breathless. After crying for a while, she suddenly left Du Qinru's arms." No, I have to find him. Mom, I have to find him. I have to find him."”
"Xin Lan, calm down. What is going on? Don't scare Mommy like that."
"I-I can't calm down. I have to go find him.”After saying that, she picked up her bag and was about to walk out.
Du Qinru immediately pulled her back." Xin Lan, don't be so impulsive. Tell me what happened first.”
"Mom, I beg you. I beg you to let me go find him.”Her mind was filled with him and she could not calm down at all.
Du Qinru did not stop Lin Xinlan. After Lin Xinlan ran out with her bag, Du Qinru noticed the notebook on the ground. She knew that it was not her daughter's. But perhaps, she could find out the truth from that notebook.
Lin Xinlan ran all the way to the station. As soon as she got on the bus, she couldn't wait to take out her mobile phone and dial the number that was rotten in her memory. The official female voice on the phone made her panic. She remembered the number of another person in her address book and quickly dialed it.
"Hello?" Chen Muyun's gentle voice came from the other end of the phone.
She held her phone and her heart was beating very fast. She tried her best to calm down." Auntie, it's me. I'm Xin Lan."”
The other party seemed to be stunned for a few seconds before saying,"It's Xin Lan. Is, is something the matter?”
"Auntie, I want to see him. Can you take me to see him?”
"Xin Lan, where are you now?”
"I'm in the car."
"Okay, Auntie will wait for you!"
On that day, the originally clear sky suddenly darkened. Chen Muyun brought Lin Xinlan to the silent cemetery. Lin Xinlan saw the familiar black-and-white face on the tombstone from afar. Her vision went black and she almost fell to the ground. Fortunately, Chen Muyun caught her in time.
They stood in front of his tombstone. Chen Muyun pointed to a tombstone beside him and said,""That was Mocheng's mother's. Before Mocheng left, he asked me how to leave his soul in the human world after death. At first, he said he wanted to be buried in the wind and asked his father and I to scatter his ashes in the wind. However, he was afraid that his soul would disappear with the wind. He said that he still had one thing to do. The people he loved were not happy, so his soul could not disappear. He still had to protect the people he loved. So in the end, he requested to be buried with his mother. His mother loved azalea the most. His soul could attach itself to the azalea and stay in the world to protect the people he loved.”
"Auntie, when did he leave?”
"Three months ago. At that time, you were at the most critical moment of your college entrance examination. I knew that he really wanted to see you, but he begged me not to disturb you. He secretly deleted your number from my phone because he was afraid that I would not be able to help but tell you and affect your college entrance examination. I also knew that he had done so much previously because he hoped that you would prepare well for your college entrance examination and not be affected by him, so I did not look for you.”As she spoke, she took out a letter from her bag and handed it to Lin Xinlan." This is what he left for you. He said that if one day, you find out the truth, he will give this to you. Xin Lan, things have come to this. His father and I are learning to let go. I think if Mocheng was here, he wouldn't want us to be sad for him. You must have a lot to say to him now. I'll go back first. You stay here and talk to him. I'll come and pick you up later.”
Chen Muyun lightly patted Lin Xinlan's shoulder before leaving. Lin Xinlan looked at the black and white photo on the cold tombstone. The person in the photo was smiling slightly. He finally no longer had a cold expression. The smile was the last memory he left for the world. Lin Xinlan remembered that the last time she saw him was when he fell with a relaxed smile.
She reached out and gently caressed him in the photo. After a long time, she squeezed out a sentence." I came, but you left."”
To the girl I love most:
Xin Lan, when I was writing this letter to you, you should be working hard to prepare for the college entrance examination. I heard that you are very hardworking, that your results have improved again, that you are living a fulfilling life every day, that Chen Yu has always been by your side, that your parents are also very concerned about you, and that you have lost weight again... I want to know whether you are doing well or not, but I can only listen to others.
Xin Lan, I miss you so much. I know it's shameful to say this after I've left, but it's true. I miss you so much. Every day and night, I can't stop thinking about every minute and second I've spent with you. I know that I will never have the chance to be with you again. I will never have the time to be with you again. Even if I want to look at you from afar, it will be wishful thinking. If there was no beginning, there would be no end. If there was no end, there would be no pain. Many times, I thought that if I had chosen not to go to school in the beginning, but to stay at home with Dad and Aunty obediently and wait for death slowly, I would not have met you and wanted to be with you. That way, I would not have hurt you and would not be as afraid of death as I am now. However, Xin Lan, there are many times when I feel fortunate for the decision I made back then. If I hadn't met you, if I hadn't been with you, my short life wouldn't have been so complete. The days I spent with you were the most important, happiest, and most blissful times of my life. Although I'm afraid of death, I have no regrets because I loved you.
Xin Lan, I haven't seen the sun for a long time. Although I'm afraid of the date, I can roughly sense that it's spring. I really want to see that mountain forest you mentioned, that beautiful azalea blooming under the sun. On the day I forced you to break up, my heart felt like it was torn apart. I wanted to tell you that everything was not like this. Other than you, I don't love anyone else. However, everything had to be like this. Xin Lan, you said that because of me, you lost Lu Xiao Yue. When I said this, I was also in so much pain that I couldn't control myself. You're the person I love the most and the person I want to protect the most. How can I let you lose what you cherish and protect? However, in the end, I still made you lose her. I know that my sin is unforgivable, but I have no other way to make you leave me. Before I contacted you, I looked for her. I begged her to help me keep this secret and beg her to help me make you leave me.
Xin Lan, I know that you definitely can't accept me leaving you like this, but at that time, my body no longer allowed me to be with you as if nothing had happened. Moreover, I had to make this decision as soon as possible so that you could accept that I had a change of heart and forget me as soon as possible. I already have no future, but your future is still very long. I can't continue to be selfish and lose your future. Xin Lan, I'm glad that you're already used to not having me around and are only focused on preparing for the college entrance examination. Lu Xiao Yue came to see me some time ago. She said that everything is fine with you. Other than the fact that your relationship with her is still frozen, everything is fine. I knew it. You've always been strong. Nothing can stump you. It's just that between you and Lu Xiao Yue, whether you accept it or not, I have to apologize to you. I know that after I bid farewell to this world, when you know the truth, you will definitely forgive her.
This book is provided by FunNovel Novel Book | Fan Fiction Novel [Beautiful Free Novel Book]