Everyone had something on their minds this weekend. When Bai Mengfei returned to the dormitory, she felt that everyone had something on their minds, but she couldn't find out no matter how hard she tried. She decided not to ask. Perhaps one of them had a fight with her boyfriend!
In the past, this was very normal. When one of the three of them quarreled with her boyfriend, the entire dormitory seemed to be quarreling with that man. Although Zhang Min and Xu Ping's boyfriends were cousins, Zhang Min still helped reason and not family. Every time, she would scold Zhang Wei, so every time Zhang Wei said that he would rather drink in the dormitory at night than offend these goddesses. But this time, she didn't know why?
Bai Mengfei felt a little weird. But he couldn't find the reason. Forget it! After minding her own business, Shao Yang called her in the evening as usual. His tone was still indifferent. Bai Mengfei did not know what Shao Yang was thinking. After that night, she fell asleep in a daze. She did not know why she had said those words to Shao Yang that night. Perhaps it was better to say it earlier than later. Anyway, he would know that it was unfair to him if he had a relationship with another person in his heart. She couldn't hide her feelings like this. She didn't know what kind of harm she would bring to Shao Yang if she told him, but the truth was already like this. What else could she do?
Never mind that they were still friends when they met again. They had never been separated. She did not beg for Shao Yang's forgiveness, but she did not want him to be hurt. Love was gone, but their friendship was still there. There was still family. Although they were not biological siblings, the feelings they had since they were young were still there! The word childhood friend was imprinted on their bodies. It was impossible for it to disappear so easily. Since she had said it, she would let go. But why did she still feel so uncomfortable?
She had been absent-minded the entire morning. Ren Zhong would always raise his head to look at the little girl from time to time when he was teaching. What was wrong with her? Why was she like this? Was there something on her mind? Or had Bai Shiqi already told her about her? That was impossible. If Bai Shiqi had told her, she would have questioned her directly. If not, what could it be? Ren Zhong did not seem to be in the mood for these two classes. Although he was teaching in class, his heart was drifting away with Bai Mengfei's eyes. Perhaps in this world, only this little girl could make him show his gentle side. Although he was with Qiao Li, he knew that his heart had always been with Bai Mengfei. It had not changed for more than ten years. Even when he was not by her side, he would still keep her in his heart. If this was love, then who would give love a wait and a deadline?
It was finally noon when school ended. Bai Mengfei did not want to go to the cafeteria for lunch. She went to the school cake shop and bought a sandwich and a cup of freshly ground coffee. She went to the field alone. In fact, Ren Zhong's eyes had never left her since she left the classroom. Wherever she went, his eyes would follow her.
Why did she have so many things on her mind? Why was she so unhappy? Shao Yang, you deserve to die. You really deserve to die. All these years, I always thought that you would help me take good care of her, but why did you make her suffer so much? Why was she so helpless? I couldn't enter her heart, but you hurt her like this. If she continued to be like this, Ren Zhong would even have the intention to kill Shao Yang. Ren Zhong followed Bai Mengfei to the field. He was afraid that she would faint again. Bai Mengfei's fainting had left an indelible shadow in his heart. Every time Bai Mengfei went to the field, he would stand in a corner and watch her, afraid that she would faint again.
"Why aren't you eating? What are you doing here? Trying to avoid me."
"Alex, why are you here? I just don't want to go back to the dormitory.”Bai Mengfei took out Zhang Ailing's book and waved it in front of Ren Zhong.
"Don't read Zhang Ailing's books. They're not suitable for you. Zhang Ailing was a talented woman, but her marriage was too sad, and her love was a mess. In the end, she was polite to a foreign land. When she died, she didn't even have anyone by her side. Sometimes, I wonder if God was too jealous of her talent and gave her an unfortunate marriage.”
"You know Zhang Ailing very well! Have you read her books?"
"I have. I suggest you read Nian Yuhua's books, or the books by the Taiwan authors Zhang Defen and Liu Yong. If you don't want to read them, you can also read Liu Zhenyun's books. When I have nothing to do, I also like to read books. In the past, I would read any book. Now, I have to read books that would not make me feel depressed. People's lives are originally stressful these days. Reading books is to increase their knowledge and is a way to relax. Why should I read things that make me sad and painful to add some inexplicable troubles?”
"I don't think Zhang Ailing is here because of her marriage. Although I don't agree with her views on marriage and love, it's all in the past. Although we can't understand it, we can't say anything. After all, times had changed. Perhaps in that kind of big social background, love had long become the cheapest luxury. Actually, I've been reading Tsangyang Gyatso's poems recently. He wanted to break free from the shackles that others had given him, but he did not expect that the more he struggled, the tighter it became. What he did not understand was that under that feudal system, any freedom that he yearned for was a challenge to the religious system. They would not allow a prodigal son to destroy everything they had worked so hard to protect. That was why he was sad. He liked his question about the Buddha very much. On that day, whether to see or not, it was ten times that he did not see.”
"Is that so? I didn't expect you to like his poems.”
"Are you curious? I asked Buddha: What if you meet someone you can love, but you're afraid you can't grasp it? Buddha said: leave the world how much love, welcome the world thousands of changes, and lovers, do happy things, don't ask is the fate of disaster.”
" Buddha said: Life is created by oneself, form is born from the heart. Everything in the world is formed from form. If the heart doesn't move, nothing will move. If the heart doesn't change, nothing will change. Buddha said: sitting is also Zen, walking is also Zen, a flower is a world, a leaf is a Tathagata, spring flowers naturally green, autumn leaves drift, infinite prajna heart free, silent movement body natural.”Ren Zhong arrived.
" Buddha said: All dharmas are born because of fate. A chance encounter and a sudden turn of events determine each other's lives. It's only for the moment when their eyes meet. The origin is destroyed, and the fate is empty."
"What a good phrase. You've been unhappy recently, haven't you? Was it a relationship problem? Tell me, and I'll see if I can help you untangle the knot in your heart.”
"You, forget it. I'll settle my own matters!”
Zhang Ailing once said,"Memories are always melancholy. The happy ones made people feel that it was a pity that it was over, and the unhappy ones were still sad when they thought about it.”So, it's better not to think about him. Let's just slowly live like this. Maybe one day, I will really forget him and throw myself into a new relationship.
"Have you forgotten? Zhang Ailing also said that if memories had a smell, it would be the fragrance of camphor. It was sweet and stable, like a piece of music that was clearly remembered, sweet and sad, like a forgotten sorrow. Some things couldn't end just because you didn't say anything. He would always be there. However, if you said something and someone helped you solve it, it would not be a problem but happiness, right? I didn't mean to pry into your heart. I just wanted to help you. Really, from the first time I saw you, I liked you very much, but it was only limited to a little sister.”
"Little sister, why is this word so familiar? Why has she been hearing and saying this word these past few days? She had just told Shao Yang that she wanted to be his little sister, but she did not expect Ren Zhong to treat her as a little sister.”Bai Mengfei sneered.
"Why? Are you unhappy? Let me tell you a story! Are you willing to listen?" Bai Mengfei nodded.
"When we were young, we lived in the same neighborhood. My father had a best friend. He had a little sister at home who looked like a doll. She always liked to follow me around and call me brother. She also liked to ride on my neck and let me lift her up high. She told me to wait for her. When she grew up, she wanted to be my little wife. At that time, we didn't take her words seriously.”Ren Zhong suddenly paused. Actually, he did not know how to finish this story. When he told the story, he regretted it. Perhaps Bai Mengfei could sense something from his words.
"What happened?"
"After that, we separated and she grew up, but she was never happy. She kept shaking her head. Just like you, always telling me not to care. Is it because you girls don't let others guess your thoughts? I just want to help you, just like my little sister.”
"Your story is too familiar to me. When I was young, there was a big brother like you in my neighborhood. Similarly, I liked to ride on his neck and ask him to bring me to buy a drink called Ice Peak. I also said that I wanted to be his wife when I grew up. The difference is that you can still see your little sister now, but I will never see my big brother again. All these years, my father has searched countless places and asked countless people, but there was no news of him. It was as if he had disappeared from this world. I really missed him. In the past, every time I missed him, I would secretly cry in my room alone. When I was tired of crying, I would go downstairs to the store where we often bought drinks. I would buy a bottle of ice peak, drink it in one go, and then go home to sleep. My brother often said that I was stupid and that he definitely didn't remember me, but I always remembered him. Sometimes, I really feel like he's by my side.”
"He is right beside you."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing? I mean, one day, you will find him. Maybe he will always think of you.”
"It doesn't matter whether I can find him or not. I won't think about him anymore. I've missed him for so many years, but he hasn't come back to see me. Perhaps he already has someone by his side. Why should I destroy his happiness? Sometimes, I just want to know his news and see if he's doing well. I think he can still pinch my nose and say to me like before,'Little girl, grow up quickly and be my wife when you grow up. Look at how skinny you are. Eat more and become fat. Otherwise, people will think that I can't afford to raise you.'”Bai Mengfei burst into tears. Why was it always like this? She could not remember the good things about the people who were by her side, but she could always remember the people who were far away from her. She did not know if he was Liu Qingyang or Wang Yifan in her heart. Maybe he thought Wang Yifan was Liu Qingyang, or maybe what? She was also confused now. Why? Why was it like this?
"It's fine, it's really fine. Trust me, don't worry. I'll be with you in the future, okay?”
"Alex, thank you. Without you, I really don't know if I could have survived these painful days.”
"We don't have to do this between us. As long as you're fine, I'm relieved. Are you sure you're fine?”
"I'm really fine. Don't worry, I'll tell you if there's anything. Don't forget that you are the harbor of my heart.”
"The term 'Soul Harbor' is good. It's much better than a healing room. I like it. Alright, I won't bother you anymore. I'll be leaving first. I'm the harbor for your soul."
"I know. I just realized that you're also such a bitch. Let's go. I have to go later. I still have classes in the afternoon. I was already distracted at noon. I can't continue to be distracted in the afternoon. Otherwise, the red light will light up during the exam.”
Watching Ren Zhong leave, Bai Mengfei could not help but associate him with Liu Qingyang. Alex, if you're Liu Qingyang, why can't you recognize me? If you're not, why are you always by my side? Only a ghost would believe that far-fetched story you told me. Bai Mengfei laughed in her heart. Forget it. It didn't matter to her anymore. The person she couldn't forget was Wang Yifan. And not the Liu Qingyang who had grown up with her.
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。