If that's really the case, then I'm really addicted to the love between Luo Xiaoqi and me. And it was huge. That was why she was deeply hurt when she lost her love. It was the harm she had caused herself. It was like a cigarette user who suddenly lost his reliance on cigarettes. The psychological torture was especially unbearable.
I don't know how many of my readers are smoking, so I don't know how many of you can understand and feel exactly what I'm feeling. But I can only describe it in this way. Because I'm a smoking person, the most painful thing I can feel is the sudden lack of cigarettes. That feeling was the best way to describe my feelings at that time.
I quietly sat on the ground and smoked the Hongtashan cigarette. Looking at the faint blue smoke in the air, I gently closed my eyes and muttered to myself,"Love, I really can't f * cking hurt you…"
" December 31st, 2011, Saturday, sunny…Mo Chenzhi's 2011 Chronicle.
The year 2011 passed by just like that. When I looked back on the last day of 2011, all I saw was a blank slate! Oh, wait. There are a few things that seem very important to me. I'll talk about them one by one.
First of all, that, that, who was that again? It seemed that the leader of some country called Ghadafy had died. I didn't pay much attention to who did it, but I know that after Ghadafy's death, the Americans were very smug!
Then, there was the world-famous terrorist organization…the leader of the Taleban, Osama bin laden, who died tragically at the hands of the Americans. Personally, I think that Laden died a little too early. With his death, there's no one in America to deal with him. However, he couldn't rule out the possibility that Osama Bin Laden's brothers would continue to clean up the United States under the guise of avenging Osama Bin Laden. If that was the case, then there were still a few good shows to watch in the world.
The last thing is…I fell out of love, and it was because of a mistress. Sigh…Actually, I really don't want to list this out. It's too f * cking embarrassing. I'm too thin-skinned. It's really embarrassing to say it. Actually, in my personal opinion, falling out of love is not a bad thing. There's a saying that goes," What you lose is definitely not suitable, but what you get may not be suitable." Only the suitable ones could not be lost, and the unsuitable ones could not be kept.”Oh my god, it was really a mouthful. Pui! Pui!
Although I'm with Qin Yue now, I still found many hidden dangers. The biggest threat was her family background! The second reason is my personal reasons. Let me tell you my reasons first…"
I took a pen and focused on writing this diary on the table. Suddenly, someone took my diary from behind!
"Damn it! Mo Chen, are you crazy again? What was written here? Who could understand a donkey's lips that did not match a horse's mouth?”Sun Peng held my diary and pointed at what I had just written. I threw away the pen in my hand and scratched my head."I don't even understand it myself. Besides, I just write whatever I think of. It's not for you to see anyway. Give it to me!" I snatched the diary back and stuffed it into the drawer.
Sun Peng gave me the middle finger in disdain.""F * ck! Despise…"
I took out two cigarettes and threw one to him."Contempt my ass! Go do what you should do." Then, he lit a cigarette and took a drag. Sun Peng lit a cigarette and put the lighter in his pocket.""Why didn't you accompany Qin Yue?" Then he kicked the cardboard box beside my chair and asked," What's this?”
I glanced down at the cardboard box on the ground and said,"I didn't go anywhere today because I wanted to pack these things. There are all the gifts that Luo Xiaoqi gave me.”
" Oh," Sun Peng said with a " understood " expression." Are you going to throw it away?"”
I shook my head." I don't know. I haven't thought about it."”Sun Peng smiled." That's new. This is the first time you've said that, right?" You're always so straightforward. Why are you hesitating this time? Do you not have the heart to do so?" Can't bear to? Was there? Even I find it strange. In the past, I would happily pack up the things my ex-girlfriend gave me and throw them away. Why am I dragging it out this time? Could it be that he really couldn't bear to? It shouldn't be! I have no reason not to.
"Don't talk nonsense. What do you mean by can't bear to? I'll bring it down and throw it away later." I rolled my eyes at Sun Peng and said angrily. Sun Peng chuckled and changed the topic.""I heard that there will be fireworks in the government square tomorrow. Aren't you bringing Qin Yue to take a look?”
"I'm not going." I said. Thinking of Qin Yue's identity, I asked Sun Peng,"Dapeng, do you think Qin Yue and I can be together?”
"Nonsense!" Sun Peng looked at me strangely." What's wrong with you? What's wrong again?" When I told Sun Peng about Qin Yue's identity, he fell silent. After a while, Sun Peng said,"If that's the case, I think Qin Yue can be with you."”"Oh?" I was interested and wanted to know why Sun Peng said that." Tell me.”
Sun Peng took a puff of his cigarette and sorted out his thoughts."Look, Qin Yue's family is so rich. If she just wanted to play with you, there's no need for her to wait for you for three years, right? What reason does she have to wait for you for three years just to play with you? Also, girls from rich families usually like independent men. Look at you. You graduated from university and opened an internet cafe with your friends. Let's not talk about how much money you can earn. At least you rely on your own ability to earn money and not your parents to support you. I believe that many girls appreciate this.”
"What you said makes sense. However, I still feel that it's not reliable." I'm still a little worried.
"Why do you think it's unreliable?" Sun Peng asked.”
" I..." I didn't know how to express my inner thoughts. I couldn't come up with an answer even after a long time.
Sun Peng snorted and said,"I think you're probably hurt by your last relationship and don't dare to love anymore."”
"Maybe! I'm really a little scared. It's not that I'm timid, but I don't dare to bear that kind of pain. You can also understand that I'm afraid that I'll accidentally hurt Qin Yue to protect myself. My last relationship hurt me too much. I still can't heal those wounds completely. Now, when I'm with Qin Yue, I still think of them. I still try to avoid them, intentionally or unintentionally. "I can feel it. I won't be able to control myself. I won't hesitate to hurt others to protect myself because I'm afraid of getting hurt. I definitely will…" Sun Peng held my shoulder and comforted me."Alright, brother! Don't think like that. Even if your love failed and it hurt you a lot, it's all in the past. Didn't you always say that once something became a thing of the past, it would lose its special meaning forever? Why can't you figure it out now?”
"I don't know." My mind went blank.
"Alright, stop thinking about it." Sun Peng's expression made me mistakenly think that he had experienced many vicissitudes of life. He said the same thing as me,"Actually, love really can't be f * cking hurt, really!”After saying that, he took a deep puff of his cigarette and exhaled a light blue breath.
Amidst the smoke, Sun Peng sat cross-legged on the ground like a fairy…
In fact, Sun Peng told me a lot of strange things yesterday, such as God and Xianer, and even the Witch of the Black Mountain. Later, due to the danger of Sun Peng's remarks spreading feudal superstition, I didn't write it, or else it would definitely be blocked!
After Sun Peng's lecture for more than four hours yesterday, my mood finally improved a lot. At least I didn't show any signs of being unhappy.
On New Year's Day, Qin Yue told me that she was going home today. I called her early in the morning and didn't contact her again. Since she was going home to spend New Year's Day with her family, I was happy and free. I played games at home, played chess with Grandpa, told Mom about interesting things in Xi'an, or called a group of brothers to hang out.
Bart had spent most of his money here and planned to return to the grazing area tomorrow. He called everyone out today to have a good gathering. When he said gathering, he meant a group of people drinking as hard as they could, then shouting at each other, and then rushing into a KTV like a swarm of bees. In any case, it was about how to torture a normal person until they went crazy.
Sitting in the biggest restaurant on West Street, why did these words sound so awkward? Sigh, whatever. It was just the biggest restaurant. A large group of us sat in the private room on the second floor. The table was full of dishes, but no one touched them. The wine bottles were empty.
"This is so f * cking satisfying!" Bart drank half a bottle of white wine in one gulp, wiped his mouth, and shouted.
Tian Bin slowly threw peanuts into his mouth. He glanced at Bart from the corner of his eyes and said in a hoarse voice,"Barbarians are barbarians, they can't be seen.”Bart drank some wine. When he heard Tian Bin mocking him, he tilted his head and glared at him. He roared like thunder,"What did you say?" We were already used to this situation. There was no suspense.
Tian Bin narrowed his eyes and threw the last peanut in his hand into his mouth. As he patted the salt on his hand, he said to Bart sinisterly,"Do you have any objections?" Before he could finish his sentence, two sinister gazes shot out from his eyes. Bart was so scared that he shrank his neck. He touched his nose and quickly said fawningly," No... drink... hehe... drink..." Tian Bin snorted coldly and ignored him.
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