I can't say I love you
31 Why didn’t I meet you earlier?

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Seeing that the college entrance examination was getting closer and closer, the students became especially serious. Every day, they would bury their heads in their practice questions and rarely had the time to go out and exercise their bodies. Jian Chuan looked up at the blackboard. There were still forty-five days left until the college entrance examination. Those words were a very eye-catching reminder to us that the day of liberation seemed to be not far away.

In order to cheer us on, the school arranged for a professional to explain some things about the college entrance examination to us. He used sad music to get everyone completely immersed in it. Occasionally, he would give out small gifts to attract the attention of the family.

His affectionate speech, coupled with the sad music, made our hearts feel an unprecedented spiritual shock. The students confessed their true feelings on stage one by one, making the situation at the scene even more realistic. At the climax of the program, the students stood up one by one. They were moved by the professional's words and shed tears of regret. At the same time, they hated themselves for not hearing such a wonderful speech earlier. Perhaps this way, they would have been able to reach a higher level.

Jian Chuan looked at the tears of his classmates and turned around, wanting to escape from the sad atmosphere. Han Siyu said to Jian Chuan in a hoarse voice,""Where are you going? Why are you the only one who isn't crying at such a touching scene?”

" I won't cry," Jian Chuan said coldly." I won't cry here. Tears are only the performance of the weak." If crying could solve everything, would the Yangtze River and Yellow River in China still have to worry about not having enough rainfall?”

"Don't you know that you're going overboard by saying that at a time like this?" Han Siyu said angrily. If you don't want to cry, don't tell me you don't allow others to cry? What do you mean by crying is weak? I think people who don't know how to cry are bastards, real big bastards.”

" You can say whatever you want," Jian Chuan said coldly." I'm not interested in wasting my youth listening to this kind of nonsense."”

Han Siyu wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and said,""What? Nonsense. Don't tell me it's nonsense to shed a few tears for our parents who raised us for so many years. Shouldn't she shed a few tears for her teacher?”

Jian Chuan continued to say coldly,"My tears are not that cheap."”

Han Siyu's sad eyes were already sad enough. When she heard Jian Chuan say such unbelievable words, she continued to cry. Jian Chuan approached her and wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes with his finger. He whispered to her,""You don't understand my injuries. You will never understand.”

"Alright, I don't understand." Han Siyu waved away Jian Chuan's hand. Are you happy now? You heard what you wanted to hear. You must be very proud!”

Jian Chuan knew that his words had deeply hurt his deskmate. He looked at her without saying anything. He just buried his head and stayed away from the place where she was crying. He sat alone in the sea of bamboos in a daze. He thought about what had happened in the past.

The homeroom teacher walked up to Jian Chuan and said,""If you want to cry, cry to your heart's content! In fact, tears were not necessarily a sign of weakness. Sometimes, tears represented a kind of longing.”

Jian Chuan looked up at the sky, trying hard not to cry. The homeroom teacher patted Jian Chuan's shoulder and comforted him,""Actually, I know that you're not a bad person. You don't want to hurt the people around you. It's just that you haven't walked out of the shadow of that matter yet. It's been almost a few months, but you haven't forgotten about that matter. Why do you have to do this?"

"Some things only take a minute to forget," Jian Chuan said in a low voice. However, some things needed a lifetime to be forgotten. How could I forget it just like that?”

"Why are you doing this?" the class teacher said to Jian Chuan.”

Jian Chuan looked straight at the homeroom teacher as if he knew something. The homeroom teacher seemed to have noticed this small change and said,"Don't look at me like that. From the moment you came to our school and the first time I saw you, I knew that there was something very unhappy hidden in your heart. Don't forget, I used to be a psychology teacher.”

"Teacher, you said you knew about my matter." What's the matter? Why didn't I know about it? I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't understand. I'm fine. There's no trauma."

The homeroom teacher looked into Jian Chuan's eyes." You said that you were fine, but your eyes betrayed you. Don't forget that eyes are the windows to the soul." You're not crying here alone because of Han Siyu, are you?”

"Really?" Jian Chuan defended himself. Why didn't I know about this? Did I cry? Why would I feel sad because of her?”

The homeroom teacher looked at the tall bamboo in the distance and said,""Actually, I've investigated the reason why you transferred to our class. I had a conversation with your former form teacher and got some information about you from him. You should still remember him, right?"

Jian Chuan shook his head and said," Don't mention him. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it."”

" You have to walk out of that incident bravely," the homeroom teacher said as he stroked Jian Chuan's head." I know that it wasn't your fault. The fault lies with your homeroom teacher." It's just that you didn't inform your parents and went through the transfer procedures without permission. Isn't this a little extreme?”

Jian Chuan stared at the form teacher." How do you know? The fault lies with our form teacher, not me. What did he say to you?"”

The homeroom teacher comforted her with a gentle tone,"I asked your former classmates first. They told me about your basic situation. They accidentally told me about you. Your homeroom teacher has also admitted that she was at fault in that matter, and she has to bear a lot of responsibility.”

Jian Chuan said in disbelief," How could that hypocrite admit his mistake? I don't believe it. I don't believe it. How is this possible? How is this possible?"”

The homeroom teacher saw that Jian Chuan's mood had improved and he was not as agitated as before. "Can you tell me what happened to you in that school?" she asked Jian Chuan.”

Jian Chuan knew that the homeroom teacher had a general understanding of the matter. Therefore, he said without hiding anything,""I still remember. In the second semester of the first year of high school, when I entered his class. I will never forget that day. Although he wasn't tall, he had a good temperament. He was wearing glasses, a suit, and a pair of trousers. There was also a beautiful tie around his neck. At that time, I saw him as my future goal.”

The homeroom teacher listened carefully to every word Jian Chuan said and didn't interrupt him. "He was very strict with us. Nine people in a group." After class, the classroom had to be quiet. Boys and girls couldn't talk too much, and they couldn't get too close. As soon as we went to school, he would confiscate our phones for various reasons and return them to us during the month's break. He also warned us not to bring him to school next time.”

"He didn't let you play with your phones because he was thinking about your studies. There's nothing wrong with that."”

Jian Chuan said sadly," He asked us to study twice as much as the other classes every day. Every day, we were like nerds, memorizing the knowledge he left us. "During exams, students who do badly will be fined. It can be said that many things in the school are bought by us students. Some students were fined a lot of money because of their poor grades. They couldn't even afford to eat.”

Jian Chuan stood up and looked at the form teacher, saying,""I still remember that there was once when we left our class fees with him. In the end, the next day, he told us that the class fees had been used up by him to treat the teachers to drinks. He asked the students to hand over a portion of their money as class fees and also to make up for the portion of money he had paid for the drinks.”

The homeroom teacher didn't understand what Jian Chuan was talking about, so she asked,""Then can you choose not to hand it over?”

"He's our homeroom teacher," Jian Chuan said helplessly."How dare we not hand him over?" Unless we're not in his class.”

"Then what's the matter with you?" The homeroom teacher changed the topic.”

Jian Chuan recalled those sad things and said with a sobbing voice,""That time, our class did badly. He was furious with us, beating and scolding us? Unfortunately, I was chosen as his target. I was slapped twice and kicked.”

"Why is it you?" the homeroom teacher asked in confusion.”

Jian Chuan rubbed the corner of his eyes.”

"Didn't you dodge the teacher's physical punishment?" the homeroom teacher asked.”

Jian Chuan sighed deeply and said,""I treated him as my goal, but I didn't expect myself to be…At that time, I was dumbfounded. His first slap interrupted our teacher-student relationship. The second slap interrupted my belief that knowledge could change fate.”

"No wonder you don't cry," the homeroom teacher asked. Since it has already happened, why did you have to transfer schools and hide it from your parents?”

Jian Chuan said emotionally,""The teacher's perverted education methods and harsh class rules, even his automatic removal of some of our self-study classes, his frequent lateness for class, and his frequent procrastination after class, as well as his private use of our class fees, I can tolerate it. However, he insulted my character, so why should I tolerate it?”

"Humiliating."

Jian Chuan said angrily," That day I was punished. He told me to get lost if you don't study. My class doesn't welcome you. You're not of much value." You're just a student, what right do you have to fight with our teacher? In front of you, I'm the emperor. If you offend me, I'll remove your student status.”

Jian Chuan sobbed and said in a low voice,""He's not a teacher at all. He's simply a scum who wears the cloak of a teacher's civilization. Later, I chose to resist silently and escaped from that school.”

"Then why didn't you choose to report his behavior to your academic affairs office or the principal to give you justice?"”

"Is this useful?" Jian Chuan laughed wildly.”

The homeroom teacher fell silent. She looked into Jian Chuan's eyes again and scolded,""Then why did you go through the transfer procedures alone without telling your parents?”

Jian Chuan continued with tears in his eyes." Later, he put on his teacher's civilized coat and called my parents. He said that I was mischievous in class and often went to the internet cafe after class! He often skipped classes and did not hand in his homework. He even contradicted the teacher. Now, he broke into the school gate alone. After my parents heard this, they didn't ask me anything and just taught me a lesson.

Class teacher, do you know? At that time, no one could understand that sad and helpless feeling. "That was why I realized how insignificant I was at that time. What high knowledge, high culture, knowledge that can change one's fate? When it came to using it, I realized that more than ten years of knowledge was useless. My so-called hard work could not compare to a certain person's words. Tell me, why should we study or receive any education?”

The homeroom teacher: " I sympathize with your experience, but you should believe these words because this is a precious legacy left behind by our ancestors. No wonder you asked me such ridiculous questions like why I study and what is the use of studying. However, didn't you use the knowledge you learned to resist?”

" Resist?" Jian Chuan said angrily." What can we do to resist? Can we protect ourselves with the knowledge we have learned?" Rather than believing in that lousy knowledge, it was better to believe in his own fists. However, I could only choose to resist silently.”

Jian Chuan sobbed for a while and wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes. He smiled and said to the class teacher,""Thank you for your generosity in this school. I personally think that you are a good teacher.”

"As a teacher, I'm very satisfied to hear you say that," the form teacher said with a smile. How are you feeling now? Are you feeling better?”

" I'm much better," Jian Chuan said to the form teacher with a smile." Thank you for your concern, form teacher."”

The homeroom teacher: " Don't think about anything now. Some things and some people have already passed. Let them pass! Now, you should adjust your mood and face the college entrance examination.”

"Yes, I will." Jian Chuan nodded. If I had known you earlier, would my ending have changed?”

"Actually, it's not too late now," the homeroom teacher said to Jian Chuan. Alright then! Go back to the classroom and listen to the lesson! He had to clean up his bad mood and find a new direction in his life to find a new goal for himself.”

"Can you keep today's matter a secret for me, homeroom teacher?" Jian Chuan stammered.”

The homeroom teacher pretended not to hear him and strode towards the field. Jian Chuan begged the form teacher not to tell anyone about this. The homeroom teacher and Jian Chuan looked at Han Siyu and Han Yingyu, who were standing there motionlessly. "Did you hear everything just now?" the homeroom teacher asked.”

Han Siyu and Han Yingyu nodded and said,"Yes, I heard it."

"Why are the two of you here? Didn't you hear the speech?" the form teacher asked.”

"The speech is over, so we came here to rest. I didn't expect…" Han Yingyu said respectfully.

"I didn't think of anything.”

Han Siyu didn't dare to look at Jian Chuan.”

Jian Chuan knew that they had heard his secret. He was ready to turn around and run, intending to disappear into the bamboo forest. "Don't worry, it's your business." Han Siyu said to Jian Chuan. We won't tell anyone."

Jian Chuan wanted to squeeze out a smile on his face for a moment, but his face was too tense, so he could only say in an indifferent tone,"It's nothing."

The homeroom teacher said to them," I'm going to deal with some miscellaneous matters. If you have anything to say, say it clearly in person. However, don't hurt the friendship between the students because of such a small matter."”

Jian Chuan, Han Siyu, and Han Yingyu made a gesture of farewell to their homeroom teacher. When Jian Chuan was about to leave, Han Siyu said,""How long do you plan to run away?"

Jian Chuan pulled back his leg and Han Siyu continued,""I don't know what I said last time to offend you. Why haven't you spoken to me recently?”

"You're thinking too much." Jian Chuan looked at Han Siyu and said. We're just working too hard because the college entrance examination is approaching day by day. He spoke less. But that's not running away!"

"Do you know?" Han Siyu pointed at Jianchuan. You've changed. You've become a stranger. I don't know you anymore. Why?”

Jian Chuan thought for a while and said to Han Siyu again,""I apologize for what happened just now. I hope you won't take the unpleasantness to heart.”

Han Siyu looked at Jian Chuan and said," What's the use of apologizing? My heart is hurt."”

Jian Chuan was silent. He looked at Han Siyu and said,""In that case, I have nothing to say. If there's nothing else, I'll be leaving.”

"We heard what you said just now, but we still hope that you can explain it yourself." Han Yingyu said to Jian Chuan.”

Jian Chuan looked at the distant sky and said,""There's nothing to explain about this matter. Since that's the case, you won't accept my apology. Don't worry, I'll give you a satisfactory answer.”

"What answer?" Han Siyu asked.”

Jian Chuan paused for a moment and said,""That is, I will stay away from you. I will never step into your range of sight within a meter of you. Are you happy now?”

"How could you do this?" Han Yingyu said angrily.”

"If this still doesn't satisfy you," Jian Chuan replied coldly. Then two meters it is. You should be satisfied now!”

Han Siyu looked at Jian Chuan's back and said,""Do we have to do this? Do you hate me so much that you don't want to see me and want to avoid me?”

"No, I don't hate you," Jian Chuan said with his back to Han Siyu. We can only blame ourselves for having different fates. Since I've hurt your heart, I'm doing this to make up for my mistakes. Perhaps I'll feel better this way.”

Han Yingyu said loudly to Jian Chuan,"You're really too much. Siyu, let's go. Let him be the only one acting crazy here. Let him regret this.”

Han Siyu said to Jian Chuan,"You will regret your actions today in the future."”

"Don't worry, I won't regret it." Jian Chuan continued.”

Jian Chuan looked at the two of them as they walked away and said quietly,""I don't regret being your grandson."

Jian Chuan didn't go to class that day, so he asked for leave from his homeroom teacher to go home and rest. He asked Jiang Jing to do him a favor, and that was for Jian Chuan and Lan Jing to take the initiative to change seats. Although Jiang Jing was a little baffled, she still helped Jian Chuan move his seat.

Mei Jiao and Duan Li returned to the classroom and saw that the person sitting in front of them was Lan Jing. He thought that Lan Jing was sitting in Jian Chuan's seat to enjoy the breeze, but he didn't see Jian Chuan that night, and Lan Jing was sitting there in class. Mei Jiao and Duan Li asked Han Siyu and Han Yingyu what had happened, but they didn't say anything.

Mei Jiao smiled at Lan Jing." Class monitor, why are you sitting here? Where is he?"”

"You mean him?" Lan Jing said with a smile. What if he asked for leave from his homeroom teacher and did not come back tonight? Or it meant that he wouldn't come to school the day after tomorrow.”

"Are you going to sit here from now on?" Mei Jiao asked. By the way, do you know why he took such a long time off?”

Lan Jing said unhappily,"Why? It feels like you don't welcome me to sit here."”

"Please don't misunderstand, Class President. I'm just concerned about my classmate." Mei Jiao quickly said. You haven't answered my question yet.”

"Then why don't I see that you care about me so much?" Lan Jing teased. I knew you earlier than him! Nothing will happen between the two of you."

Mei Jiao said to Lan Jing,"Go away." What was he thinking? Don't blame me for using force if you spout nonsense again. You know that I have always been passionate about peace.”

Lan Jing looked at Mei Jiao and said,"As the saying goes,'A good man doesn't fight with a woman', so I won't argue with you." Actually, I don't know why he took such a long leave. Maybe he's sick!”

Jiang Jing pulled Mei Jiao's sleeve and pointed at the empty seat. She said softly,"Jian Chuan will sit there in the future. I helped him move his seat.”

Mei Jiao looked at Jiang Jing and said anxiously,"Then do you know why he moved?"”

"It seems that he said he wanted to give someone a satisfactory answer." Jiang Jing said with some uncertainty. He didn't say anything else.”

Han Yingyu turned around to look at Jiang Jing and asked in a low voice," You just said that he wanted to give someone a satisfactory answer. Could this be his so-called answer, and not…"

Mei Jiao looked at Han Yingyu.”

"No, it's nothing." Han Yingyu's eyes flickered.”She muttered to herself," It turns out that the two of them have gradually drifted apart because of this matter. No wonder Han Siyu said that Jianchuan always avoided her and talked less to her. Jianchuan said that he would give her a satisfactory answer and even disappeared from her sight. So that's what happened." Should I tell her the truth?"

Han Siyu looked at Han Yingyu, who seemed to be in a daze. She patted her shoulder and said,"What are you thinking? You're acting like a thief.”Han Yingyu smiled at her without saying anything.

Winter was still so cold. In the small room, she was still alone. His own footsteps were everywhere. A night alone was quiet and cold. She slept alone on the cold bed, breathing out thin streams of hot air through her weak breathing. Looking at the dark sky outside the window, I thought about life. What am I searching for? I don't know either. I can't find a clear answer. He could only let himself fall asleep calmly under his indulgence and fatigue.

Jian Chuan thought about what happened today. However, her tears still fell uncontrollably. However, he didn't know who Jian Chuan was crying for. Maybe Jian Chuan was a weakling!

This book is provided by FunNovel Novel Book | Fan Fiction Novel [Beautiful Free Novel Book]

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