Ding Nan's hand that was holding the phone was a little trembling. She unnaturally tucked her long hair on the right side behind her ear so that she could hear more clearly. She had already waited, but she had better not stand her up!
"Hey, beautiful, I'm sorry. The traffic is very bad. I can't move for ten minutes. I might be late. I was afraid that you would be anxious, so I told you. Would you like some tea first?" The man's humorous and polite voice came from the phone. It was gentle and neutral, making people feel very comfortable.
Thank God! Her heart was finally at ease.
"Okay, it's okay. Drive slowly. Don't worry! Safety was the most important! Haha." She replied with a smile. Even though he couldn't see her smile, he could definitely feel it. She valued this date very much. She even felt that her tone was too polite and a little flattering. She despised her low profile.
Look at you, can't you get married? Haven't you always been aloof? She cursed herself in her heart, but at the same time, she thought, Damn it, a single parent woman is really worthless!
She was a little flustered, a very confused panic. After the Spring Festival, she had seen so many people back and forth. If she was not heartless, then others were unintentional. She was really tired of it and began to worry. Now, her heart was not big. To be precise, it was very small. If there was someone she did not hate, who was moderate in all aspects, and who she had a little feeling for, she would accept it. She couldn't care less about the previous conditions. She was about to become a woman who hated marriage. In this world, there were so many leftover women. Even the emperor's daughter was worried about getting married.
When you can't achieve high or low, perhaps it's time to lower your standards if you want to change the status quo. She thought.
After waiting for another ten minutes, the man surnamed Chi still hadn't arrived. She rested her chin on her hand and looked out the window. Her eyes were blurry, and her thoughts couldn't help but drift…
Sometimes, he would miss the people and things that he had abandoned. He wondered if they would be as beautiful as he imagined when he really had them.
She couldn't help but think of Wang Rui.
It was strange that she could still remember this person's name. They had never held hands once, except for the time when he held her arm when they jumped off the railway.
Was a relationship that they had never held hands with even once considered love? She often asked herself and sometimes others, and the answers she got were all different. She chuckled and asked what was the point? So what? What a lunatic!
When she was young, she had done something very hurtful. Even now, when she thought about it, she still felt guilty. This was also the reason why every time her relationship was frustrated, she would frequently look back and miss Wang Rui's good side. Loving a person would be forgotten after a long time. However, if one felt guilty towards someone, they would never forget that person for the rest of their lives.
That was seven years ago, a year after her divorce. At that time, she had just passed the postgraduate entrance examination and was only waiting to go to school in September. Therefore, she was in a good mood after being pardoned for her long-term preparation. A friend saw that she was free and kindly introduced her to Wang Rui, a Beijing native who was also a single parent. He said that although he was a single father, his daughter belonged to his mother, so if he succeeded, it would be convenient for him to take care of them. In addition, his family background was good, his profession as a doctor was good, and he was a good person.
To be honest, his friends were right.
Wang Rui belonged to the fair-skinned and refined type. He looked very young, seven years older than her, but looked about the same as her. Most importantly, he had the dream of being a writer. When he was young, he was also a literary youth and admired Wang Shuo the most. He had written a lot of things himself, including novels and essays. They were all in paper form and he had always kept them. She had read them and they were really not bad. They had a common interest. Now that he thought about it, it was too difficult.
She encouraged him to submit all those drafts. However, there was a problem. His words were all written on paper, and he did not know how to use a computer. She could help him solve this. However, there was another problem that was much more serious. His words were filled with the old-fashioned atmosphere of the 1990s. What beeper, what stocks, what public relations girl, what magical realism, the entire prelude to 2013's " To Youth " made her click her tongue in regret.
"You can change the background of the novel to something that is popular nowadays.”she suggested.
" I can't be bothered to waste my energy," Wang Rui said lazily. He then added," My literary dreams have faded."
Her heart also faded. In fact, to be exact, it had never been strong. She realized that she had no feelings for him. She visited him every weekend. He lived alone in a two-bedroom apartment near Tongzhou in Chaoyang, Beijing. As it was too far from the West Third Ring Road where her graduate school was located, he said," Stay. You'll stay in one room, and I'll stay in the other. You don't have to worry about anything."
She trusted him a lot at that time. Besides, it was boring to stay in school on weekends, so she stayed behind and went shopping with him. They cooked together and read his drafts together.
It was incredible that they had been so respectful to each other for half a year every weekend without holding hands once. When she told her classmates, everyone clicked their tongues in wonder and laughed at her."No way! Is there really a Liu Xiahui in this day and age?"
Every time she went back to school and stayed in school for five days, she never missed him. Sometimes, he would call her dormitory, and she would get very impatient.
Why was this happening? She had been analyzing this matter in the past and now. Could it be that women wouldn't love men if they weren't bad? It didn't seem to have anything to do with men and women. It seemed that being cheap had become a fashionable disease for modern people! The more he respects you, the better. You don't understand his kindness and won't cherish it. He's neither cold nor warm to you, but you think you have a personality and are willing to use your hot face to stick to other people's cold buttocks!
At that time, when he looked at her, he always had a timid look in his eyes. Perhaps it was because he felt inferior to her in terms of education? Not as young as her? Or was it that the one who loved more was so humble? When she looked at him, she was always indifferent, even indifferent. Her eyes had never lit up when she looked at him. They had never shone, the kind of light that could not help but be in love. All of this intensified his timidity and lack of confidence.
Therefore, they had not held hands even once in half a year.
She had finally left him. Because she couldn't stand the boredom of accompanying him. When you like someone, even the most unbearable times are beautiful. If you don't like someone, even the most noisy days are lonely.
However, three years later, she contacted him again.
In fact, when she first met him, she knew that his family background was not bad. His family had some background. If he wanted her to stay in Beijing and help her find a good job, he could do it in terms of money and people. He had also said many times that he would help her. This was the first time they had lasted for half a year, and it was also the second time she had come back to look for him.
It had been three years, and he was still single. She had always found this strange. He was well-off in all aspects and had no burdens. It was too easy for him to find someone to start a family. Of course, it was also possible that he had experienced a lot in the past three years, but he had not succeeded. The second time she came, he happened to have an empty schedule.
Regarding Wang Rui, she had never understood. Was he only timid towards her, or was he timid towards all the women he liked? Was it because of his personality that he had been alone for many years? Or was it that in real life, he was also a person with very high standards, and he could not achieve high or low positions, which led to him being single for many years?
In short, at that time, he accepted her again without any complaints and did not say a word about the past. They got along with each other in the same way as before.
However, this time, it was even shorter. It was only a month, and she could no longer endure it. She was really unwilling to use her feelings to exchange for some practical benefits! Not even a single sacrifice! She could not do it! Just thinking about it made her feel so miserable that she would rather die!
The older generation said it well. A forced melon was really not sweet!
After weighing the pros and cons, she finally decided to leave him again, even if she would lose all his help.
On the day she left, he seemed to have a premonition that she would never come back. He, who had always been kind and gentle, said something that shocked her and made her sad. He said,
"Continue or give up? Why is the choice always in your hands?”
Now, many years later, every time she thought of this person, she felt extremely guilty. Was there any regret? She often asked herself. Then, she pondered for a long time, touched her heart, and answered herself," No, I don't regret it. Although I'm a little flustered and anxious now, if I'm given a third chance and he still accepts me regardless of past grudges, I'll still leave him for the third time!
She still wanted to find someone who could spark sparks, even if it was just a little!
Humans were such contradictory creatures! Especially women! When it came to being cheap, it was really cheap enough!
But what could he do? She was not that kind of woman. She could not get what she wanted from a man! Doing that would be worse than letting her die. She would rather choose to die.
When it came to choosing death, she had indeed done so once. That was on the day of the divorce.
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。