Ever since that day when Luofeng left, I fell sick and even became a little absent-minded. For a long time, she didn't like to go out. She was afraid of meeting familiar people and facing things she didn't want to face.
Lu Yang and Su Xiao left in the end. It was probably the second day after I fell sick. Yu Li told me all this. I was sick and lying on the hospital bed. She was the only one who came to see me.
When I heard this news, I heaved a sigh of relief. The huge rock in my heart was finally lifted. At the same time, she felt sour in her heart. She couldn't bear to part with him!
In the past, perhaps I didn't understand why I had to be so bad. Also, I didn't know when I started to become such an unbearable person as Luo Feng said.
Luo Feng's questioning made me understand many things that had been troubling me. It was also from that day that I understood that I was just an even more abominable person than them. I always used other people's mistakes to forgive my own mistakes. I also understood that no matter how bad I was, I still cared about Luo Feng. However, I was afraid of getting hurt, so I kept using him and Shanting's secrets to escape. Perhaps I also cared about Lu Yang a lot. However, after I exposed him, I didn't know how to continue. I could only find a reason to lie and cut off all ties.
I'm selfish. When I realize that I can't completely control people or feelings, or that there are some flaws in them, I'd rather abandon them than hold them in my hands, regardless of whether they're willing or not.
I had always thought that Luofeng would be mine alone. At least he was lonely and unwilling to interact with others. Perhaps when I first met him, I had taken a liking to him because of this. He might become a loyal friend, which was why I took the trouble to please him, even if I had to suffer so many grievances. However, when I realized that his relationship with Shanting was unclear, I was furious, disappointed, and disappointed. I decided to abandon him and let him and Shanting be together. I could walk freely and be so close to Lu Yang.
Actually, Luo Feng didn't do anything wrong. It was just that his initial loneliness deceived me, and I couldn't see through it. If I hadn't realized that he was different from the others, I wouldn't have persevered to please him. Then, there wouldn't have been anything that happened later.
Where was Lu Yang? Actually, he was just a tool I used to escape from Luofeng. If he really was a threat to Luo Feng, perhaps I could still abandon him without hesitation. But I never thought that I would fall into it. At least, I thought that I had controlled myself very well. Unfortunately, I still couldn't escape his warm smile.
I like Lu Yang's cleanliness and brightness. His smile could make me forget the gloominess when I was with Luofeng. I could be pure and free to be the happiest and purest version of myself. However, I never thought that no matter how clean a person is, it's impossible for him to be immune to the mortal world. In the end, I thought too much of him. As the saying went, the greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment.
When I found out about his relationship with Su Xiao and Yu Li, I was disappointed again. Yes, just like how he was disappointed with Luo Feng. I thought that he was just a simple person. He was happy and unhappy on his face, and he didn't have to care about the schemes of the secular world. Unfortunately, I was wrong. He's just an ordinary person after all. He also has the seven emotions and six desires.
I was disappointed and chose to abandon him. I don't want my friends to not belong to me, even if they share a little with others. My possessiveness is very strong. Since it doesn't belong to me anymore, what's the use of keeping it?
Once I made up my mind, I was more carefree than most people. Even if I was reluctant, I could turn a blind eye to it. So I tore up the postcard that Lu Yang gave me. I won't give Lu Yang the answer he's looking forward to. When Lu Yang left, I only said it calmly. If there were flaws and gaps, then there was no need to fix them. Let go, there was no need to think about them.
Whether it was Luo Feng or Lu Yang, they were both imperfect, but I was too picky. I couldn't accept flaws, whether it was regret or feelings, so no matter how reluctant I was, no matter how sad I was, I still chose to give up.
She was really tired. She really wanted to sleep like this and never wake up again. She fell into a deep sleep with guilt and longing for them.
When did Yu Li leave? I forgot! I just don't want to see anyone. Only by sleeping can I not hear anything!
I seemed to have slept for a very long time. When I woke up, I found myself lying on the bed. My mother was also asleep by my bed. My head hurt a little, so I gently pushed my mother. When my mother saw that I had woken up, she was extremely excited. She cried out to the door,"Dad, Wenjie, come quickly. Ran Ran is awake. She's finally awake!”
"You're awake? Ran Ran! Ran Ran! My dear daughter, you're finally awake!" Dad rushed in and hugged me as he muttered.
"Granddaughter, you really scared Grandpa to death. You're finally awake. It's good that you're awake, it's good that you're awake!”His grandfather was also in tears. In my memory, he had never cried before, but now he was crying because of me.
I felt a lump in my throat and felt a little wronged. I called out softly," Grandpa…" She sobbed.
After comforting each other for a long time, I still couldn't react from the joy of my recovery. I asked curiously,"What's wrong with me? And why are you so worried?”Actually, I thought I was suffering from some terminal illness.
Who knew that when I asked this question, Grandpa would actually look at me with his mouth agape. Dad and Mom also had the same expression. I was a little curious, so I asked,"Mom, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? Did I sleep for a long time? Otherwise, why are you all so excited when I wake up?”
Her mother was at a loss. She was obviously panicking. She placed her trembling hand on my forehead and asked,"Ran Ran, do you…remember…how you fainted?”
I expressed my surprise and shook my head in confusion.
Grandpa and Dad, who were at the side, were already in tears. They turned their heads away, not letting me see them.
Mom bit her lips until they turned white. Seeing my reaction, tears filled her eyes.
"What's wrong?" I held her hand and asked in confusion.
Mother held back her tears and shook her head. She said to me,"I'm fine, I'm fine. Ran Ran was too tired from studying and fainted! It's good that you're awake. You've been unconscious for five days!”
"Ah! So long? My health has always been good. Why did I faint for no reason?”I was a little surprised and puzzled.
However, they did not seem to want to talk about this anymore. Grandpa deliberately scolded with a straight face,"You're just a child. I told you to exercise more, but you refused.”
His father also agreed." Yes, you can't be picky with your food in the future. You have to take good care of your health. You can't be willful anymore!"”
They helped me lie down and tucked me under the blanket. I was a little hot and wanted to lift it up, but my father stopped me."Ran Ran, be good and don't catch a cold! You've just recovered. Hurry up and have a good rest.”
Grandpa and Mom nodded at me. I couldn't resist and could only pretend to sleep, but I couldn't fall asleep.
For some reason, he couldn't remember what was going on. I don't know why I fainted. Who knew how long he had been unconscious? He only knew that he was very tired and his heart was very stuffy. He felt that something was missing, but he did not know what it was.
After a long time, they all thought that I was asleep, so they quietly retreated.
Curious, I quietly got up after they left. I opened the door slightly and looked outside. In the living room, the three of them sat there without saying a word.
Grandpa was smoking yellow smoke, and the pipe was making a gurgling sound. After taking a puff, the smoke came out from Grandpa's mouth and nostrils, filling the entire living room. After a long time, Grandpa knocked the coffee table with a cigarette stick and shook off the cigarette residue. He slowly said,"Ran Ran is awake now. What are you going to do?”
Her parents were stunned and looked at her grandfather in confusion. I was also confused, but I was even more curious.
His father sighed deeply and said to his grandfather,"If it really doesn't work out, we can only move!”
"Move? Where to? Was there such a condition? It wasn't like he didn't know her current situation!”Grandpa was a little angry.
"I don't agree either!" His mother suddenly interrupted.
The living room fell silent again.
My heart was in a mess. Why did I have to move? What exactly happened? What did his grandfather mean?
Just as I was puzzled, Grandpa spoke,"We'll see. Her current illness doesn't allow her to move around. Take good care of her and pay more attention to her.”After saying that, he sighed.
" Then, Luofeng and the others…" Before his father could finish, his grandfather interrupted him.
"She doesn't remember anything now. That's good. Don't mention this matter in front of her again.”Grandpa seemed very excited.
Hearing this, I finally understood. I was sick, and it seemed very serious. Otherwise, why would I drop out of school? I slid down the door and sat on the ground, burying my head in tears.
I'm still a child after all. I'm very afraid. I suddenly think about whether I'll die quietly like the people in the TV series.
Fear slowly eroded me. I was afraid but had nowhere to escape. Suddenly, some images flashed through my mind. I didn't manage to capture them in time, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember them. Instead, I had a splitting headache.
I suddenly thought of the name that my grandfather forbade my father from mentioning in front of me-- Even though it hurt, she couldn't help but think,""Luofeng? Luofeng? Who was Luo Feng? Do I know him? Why can't I remember who this name is? If you don't know Grandpa, why don't you let him mention it to me? Who was he? What does my fainting have to do with him? Why was he in so much pain that he almost suffocated?”
I leaned against the bed sadly and struggled with the pain. In the end, I couldn't fight it and fainted. I fell into a deep sleep. In my dreams, there was always a blurry figure swaying in front of my eyes, constantly asking me, Do you care about me?" I couldn't see his face clearly, and I couldn't grab him even if I reached out.
She was so tired that she gave up, and he disappeared. After a while, it was the screams of his parents and grandfather, as well as the noisy cries. I was tired and wanted to sleep. I didn't want to pay attention to them and fell asleep.
This book is provided by FunNovel Novel Book | Fan Fiction Novel [Beautiful Free Novel Book]