December
1
The villagers soon knew that the girl had returned. They started discussing again. Xi 'er's return seemed to have become a topic of conversation after dinner. Wen Xuan knew that Xi 'er had heard it too, and judging from his indifferent expression, she was not affected. In fact, the comments against him and Xi 'er had never stopped since he returned to this small village. Many times, keeping Xi 'er at home was also a form of protection. Now, Xi 'er did not seem to be affected. She would often go to the small shop in the village to buy things. Most of the villagers were pointing and discussing behind his back. Xi 'er didn't dodge, but went up to him. At times like this, the villagers would stop talking and pretend not to see her. Thus, she turned around and returned to the bamboo shed alone.
On this day, Wen Xuan had just returned from the sea and saw the children playing on the beach. Wen Gui was standing at the side, frowning and shouting at Aren.
"This young man is really wild, just like you when you were young.”Wen Xuan walked to Wen Gui's side and said.
Alan was chasing the ball, jumping and shouting.
Wen Gui glanced at Wen Xuan and said,"That girl is back!"”
"Younger Sister, you receive news quite quickly.”Wen Xuan said.
"About a month." Wen Gui said.
"More or less." Wen Xuan turned his head and spat.
"Everyone saw it. She went to the village to buy something." Wen Gui said.
Wen Xuan pouted his lips and did not speak.
"What did you do after walking for so long?" Wen Gui said.
"A living person. She can do whatever she wants." Wen Xuan said.
"What?" Wen Gui asked.
"That's her business." Wen Xuan said.
"At least I took care of her for a while. Can't I show some concern?”Wen Gui said.
"When did you wear it?" Wen Xuan asked.
Wen Gui gritted his teeth and said,"Brother, sometimes, you think he's too naive."”
"Likewise." Wen Xuan said.
"What?" Wen Gui asked.
"Aren't you also very naive?" Wen Xuan said.
Wen Gui smiled and said,"She's already so big. Why did she suddenly run back?" Don't you find it strange? Why don't you think about what happened? In the past, she was still a girl. When you brought her around, there was a lot of gossip. She was still a young lady now. You guys are still living together. It'll be bad if word gets out.”
"Then what do you think will make it sound good? Sister, didn't you run away with Liu Yongnian when you were sixteen? Isn't that nice?" Wen Xuan said.
"Do you know what they are talking about?”Wen Gui asked.
"Don't say it. I'm not interested." Wen Xuan turned his face away and stared at the child who ran past him.
"This child's belly is already showing. It's probably three months old. Otherwise, what are they talking about?" Wen Gui said.
Wen Xuan smiled and lowered his head, staring at the sand that had been flattened by his feet.
"Isn't this ridiculous? No matter whose child it was. If she came back now, it would be embarrassing if she gave birth.”Wen Gui said.
"Are you waiting for me here on purpose?”Wen Xuan turned his head and asked Wen Gui.
"At that time, I'll let you send her back. You didn't listen. Now, things had developed to this extent. Moreover, her belly was becoming more and more obvious. She often went to the village, but he didn't know if she did it on purpose. She walked around as if nothing had happened. Everyone treats her like a joke." Wen Gui said.
"No matter what, the child in her stomach is now my child. As long as she gives birth, I'll raise her." Wen Xuan said.
"Brother, why are you so baffled? Wasn't it good to let you have a family and a child back then? Now, he had become a laughing stock. Are you going to help others raise their children like this for the rest of your life?”Wen Gui asked.
"Xi 'er is my child, and her child is naturally my child. What's so strange about it?" Wen Xuan said.
"Brother, do you understand what the child means? Or are you addicted to being a good person?" Wen Gui said.
"I don't understand." Wen Xuan said," Take care of your own child first.”
Wen Gui turned his head and looked at the child running on the beach, saying,""They said you were possessed, bewitched by a witch.”
"Why didn't they say that this old man is really lucky to have a beautiful woman to take care of him?”Wen Xuan said.
"Brother, can you be more serious? You're only in your thirties. How can you call yourself an old man? Mom and Dad are looking forward to you getting married. Can't you do a good deed?”Wen Gui said.
"Aiya, sister, mom and dad have been dead for so many years. Just let them stay in their coffins. Don't keep talking about them." Wen Xuan said.
"But that was Dad and Mom's last words. They just want to." Wen Gui said.
Wen Xuan waved his hand and said,"Don't say anymore." You're my sister. Why would I listen to you? Besides, you married that idiot Liu Yongnian. Your words are even more worthless.”
At this moment, Aren and Abu ran over and stood at the side, panting. Their faces were red and hot from the scorching sun, and they were sweating profusely.
"Uncle." Aren shouted.
"Good girl." Wen Xuan said," Do you want to have a meal at Uncle's house?”
Wen Gui glared at Wen Xuan and took Aren's hand."Let's go."
Wen Xuan looked at her angry expression and smiled, saying,""Nephew is so much like uncle."
Wen Gui gritted his teeth, slapped Wen Xuan, and left with Aren.
Wen Xuan watched the two of them until they disappeared from the village entrance. He pondered for a while by the beach, picked up his bucket, and walked away. Before returning home, he stood outside the courtyard for a while, facing the sparkling sea, indifferent. A few stars rose from the sea. He realized that it was already late, so he carried the bucket back.
"What are you looking at?" Wen Xuan returned to the porch and leaned against the doorpost. He took a deep breath and said.
"I don't know either. I saw it thrown by the door, so I took it and flipped through it.”Xi 'er closed the book and put it aside." I was just wondering if you were still in the sea.”
Wen Xuan squatted down and took the book. He flipped through it and said,""I took it out of the bookcase.”
"The writing here is very bad." Xi 'er took it and flipped to a page." You read it to me before.”
"Did I say something?" Wen Xuan turned to look at Xi 'er's side profile. Under the twilight, her face emitted a gentle glow.
"You said that this writer is full of himself and has written too much.”Xi 'er said.
"Forget what I said. It was actually quite well written. I'm just tired of reading it." Wen Xuan said.
"Is that so?" Xi 'er lowered her head and looked at the page.
Wen Xuan lowered his head and saw Xi 'er's slightly bulging belly. He turned his head and looked at the sky that was gradually darkening. The silent blue spread across the horizon, deepening until it turned black. He stood up and reached out to touch the hanging rope of the lamp. He looked down at Xi 'er and put down his hand.
"Why didn't you turn on the lights?" Xi 'er asked.
Wen Xuan was unmoved. With his hands on his waist, he turned around and looked at the pitch-black sea. He was waiting for the moment when the Milky Way poured down. However, the sky was covered with dark clouds. The stars were covered.
"It looks like it's going to rain. I have to go and take a look." Wen Xuan went down the porch and walked out.
Xi 'er put down her book, turned to look at him, and got up to turn on the light.
"Go back to your room first. I'll go take a look on the ship." Wen Xuan said. He walked very quickly and did not hear Xi 'er's cry. By the time he reached the shore, it was already drizzling. He stepped into the waves, climbed onto the fishing boat, and got into the canopy. He sat in the boat and stroked his chin, deep in thought. The boat swayed slightly with the waves, like a cradle. The surroundings were dark. The boat was drifting with the waves, swaying from side to side. He felt the shaking and allowed it to drift out.
Suddenly, he felt the ship shake violently. The hull of the ship was hit and tilted to the other side. He walked out of the cabin and saw a black shadow in the water approaching the ship. The black shadow continued to jump up. He took the kerosene lamp and lit it up before he could see what was in the water.
Xi 'er jumped out of the water and held onto the boat as she looked up at him. The seawater slid down her face. Her long wet hair stuck to her face. She panted and smiled, bathing in the yellow light.
The drizzle fell onto the sea. Wen Xuan sat on the edge of the boat and looked at her without saying a word. Her hands were lying on the side of the boat, supporting herself with the help of the boat. She arched her body under the water as if she was sliding in the water, then giggled. Wen Xuan looked at her silently with a serious expression. The seawater kept hitting her body and continued to flow down. In addition, the drizzle hit her face. She narrowed her eyes, wiped the water off her face, coughed a few times, and turned her head to spit water into the sea.
Wen Xuan reached out and pinched her arm, wanting to pull her up. She shook her head and looked at the flickering yellow kerosene lamp. She smiled and said,"I saw this thing in that place.”
"A kerosene lamp." Wen Xuan looked back and said," Hurry up and come up." It's too cold down there."
Xi 'er shook her head, wiped the water off her face, and smiled at him. She seemed to want to make Wen Xuan smile. But Wen Xuan kept looking at him, expressionless.
"Then let's go back. It's really too cold." Wen Xuan wiped the rain off his face and said.
Xi 'er turned around and prepared to swim into the sea, but Wen Xuan grabbed her arm and lifted her up. With one hand on the edge of the boat, she jumped out of the water and slid onto the boat. Wen Xuan was splashed with water as he stared expressionlessly at Xi 'er's smiling face. She kept shaking her head, splashing water on Wen Xuan.
"Alright, alright." Wen Xuan said," It's been raining for so long. I'm already drenched."”
Xi 'er stopped and turned her head to look at the yellow light that the kerosene lamp cast on the sea. The seawater caressed the hull of the boat, climbing up and sliding down. Xi 'er stepped on the waves and looked down at the dark sea.
Wen Xuan stood up and looked at the vast sea, saying,""It's as dark as falling into a coal pit. How can I go back?”
"Then don't go back." Xi 'er said.
"No, I can't. I must send you back." Wen Xuan said.
"Weren't you going back just now?”Xi 'er turned to look at Wen Xuan and asked.
"I was just in a daze for a moment, and it floated here. It seemed that next time, it would be better to sit on the shore and stare blankly. At least he would not be unable to find his way home.”Wen Xuan said.
"Then I won't be returning." Xi 'er said.
Wen Xuan squatted down and sat cross-legged, looking at her. The flame danced a few times in the lampshade, flashing a yellow light. Xi 'er stretched out her hand and waved it in front of the lamp. She looked at the long shadow on the sea and smiled foolishly. She waved her hand and observed her shadow changing rapidly underwater.
Surging seawater hit the hull of the ship, soaking in the yellow light. It slowly pushed away and retreated, like a mountain with sharp edges suddenly flattened. Immediately after, the waves surged up again, squeezing each other, swallowing each other, and leveling off.
"It's the same when you burn firewood. The same light." Xi 'er withdrew her hand and said.
"Are you referring to the kerosene lamp?" Wen Xuan asked.
Xi 'er nodded." Just throw some firewood into the stove and it'll light up the whole house. I squatted there and kept stuffing it in until it was full. Some of the firewood would give off long trails of white smoke. The smoke soon filled the room. It was very glaring and made people cry. Then, you can just take it away. The stove was bright and warm.”
The rain fell on Xi 'er's face. She lowered her head and looked at the oil lamp.
"They want me to take care of my sister. One of them had just been born. She cried every day. No one cared, no one hugged. She kept crying. I feed her a little porridge every day, using a small spoon to stuff it into her mouth. One day, I stopped feeding her. They didn't care and just let her cry. She had been crying for the past few days. His throat was also hoarse. I thought,'Then I'll die.' Sooner or later, he would be beaten up. What's the use of living?" Xi 'er said.
"Xi 'er?" Wen Xuan looked at her and said.
"After that, I starved her to death. They buried her behind the mountain." Xi 'er said," That's why I killed one of my sisters. After she died, it was much quieter there.”
"You're lying. You're so young. What do you know? That's impossible." Wen Xuan said.
"I'm not lying. I knew she would die if I didn't feed her. No one cared anyway. If I don't feed him, no one will." Xi 'er said.
Wen Xuan turned his head and looked at the sea that was as dark as an abyss. He could not believe what he had heard.
"After that, I went to that place again. After leaving this place. The small bungalow was old and run-down. The roof was so narrow, and there were some stinky dead fish piled up on it. Flies flew around. It turned out that it was not a scary place, but a dirty place. From the diapers hanging on the rope, I knew that another child had been born. I want to see what kind of child he is. Someone will wash his diapers. I stood outside the window and looked inside. It was very dark inside, like a cave. I saw that there was no one inside, so I went in through the open main door. The door was low, narrow, and moldy. The room stank. It was the smell of feces and urine. There was only a child lying there, and no one knew how old he was. I walked over and looked at him. With the light coming in through the window, I looked at him seriously. I just wanted to see the difference between us. Then, I squatted down and stared at his face.”Xi 'er lowered her head and looked at the surging sea." He's staring at me too. He looked very curious. He was so fat that he was no different from a pile of meat. He just lay there motionlessly. I think there must be something special that's worth them wanting so much. However, I couldn't find it. I couldn't find it.”
"No, I can't tell, and I can't think of anything.”Xi 'er turned back to look at Wen Xuan and said," He was also sizing me up. He was neither curious nor confused. He just looked at me calmly. Perhaps he had received too much attention and felt that it was plain or absent-minded. I can't think of any other way to describe it. I stood up and lost interest in him. I looked up at the low room. The sharp corners of the walls might still be dripping blood. And the door was a little deformed. I think I can set a fire and burn this place down. Then, it will be clean. Everything would disappear without a trace. I immediately ran to the kitchen. There was firewood there. The fire was still burning in the furnace. As long as I make a move, these things that are like dark clouds floating above my head and following me like a shadow will disappear. The shadow disappeared.”
Xi 'er glared at Wen Xuan with tears in her eyes.""Then, the man without ears came in. He picked up the lump of meat and giggled. I hid in the kitchen and took the kitchen knife. I just held the knife tightly and leaned against the kitchen wall. I remembered that time, I was squatting there, stuffing firewood into the stove. My sisters ran around me. A few days later, one of them was buried in the mountains. I think I can do it too. In just a while, I can bury the two people in the house in the mountains. I only thought so, watching the fire in the furnace. Soon, the man without ears walked away. I took the kitchen knife out and the child turned to look at me expressionlessly. Suddenly, I knew what to do. It wasn't the house. I pulled down the child's pants and cut it. Just like how that person cut off his ears. So, I threw away the knife, ran out of the house, and hid in the woods. Time seemed to have turned back. Do you understand? He returned to that scene. Only this time, I could stand outside and wait calmly. The child was crying loudly. They ran into the house, shouting and crying. One person was beating another person, wrestling and cursing. There were even more voices. It was like a nightmare. I just stood there and listened. At first, my heart was beating very fast, but then it calmed down and became numb. I even saw the child crawling out of the mound, crawling to my feet and looking at the small and old house. After a while, I got bored. I left that place, left that island, and went somewhere else. Anyway, that was in the past and it didn't matter.”
Wen Xuan stared at him, his face pale, trying to figure out what was going on. However, his mind was numb and he could not think at all.
Xi 'er looked up, her eyes brimming with tears. Seeing that he was still confused, she smiled and wiped away her tears. She turned around and faced the vast sea, as if she was waiting for some kind of omen.
"You're lying. You didn't do any of that.”Wen Xuan said.
"I didn't." Xi 'er said," I don't have to lie to you, Wen Xuan.”
"Call me daddy." Wen Xuan said.
"You're not Daddy." Xi 'er said.
Wen Xuan reached out and slapped Xi 'er. He turned his face away and stared at the flickering yellow kerosene lamp.
Xi 'er pursed her lips and smiled. She stretched out her foot and slid into the sea. She turned her head to look at Wen Xuan. The waves crashed against her back and surged forward. She held onto the edge of the boat and drifted along with it.
"What nonsense did you make up just now? I know you're too weak and can't handle those things, that's why you said that. Actually, that was not the case. Don't talk about this in the future." Wen Xuan wiped his sweaty forehead and said.
"No, I haven't. I told you everything I did. Everything was a piece of cake. Back then, that person cut off his ear and threw it away. The dog soon came and bit off the ear.”Xi 'er said.
"Liu Yongnian. That was a wrong demonstration. That won't solve the problem." Wen Xuan said.
"But that was how it was resolved." Xi 'er said," He saved us."
"It's all my fault. I didn't teach you." Wen Xuan said.
"It's useless." Xi 'er said.
The seawater brushed past her shoulders and slid forward. She held onto the edge of the boat and pushed her body forward, as if she could not hold on any longer.
"If only I could have saved you earlier. This wouldn't have happened." Wen Xuan said.
"It's useless." Xi 'er said," It's useless."
"Why are you telling me this? He starved his sister to death and castrated his brother. You're slapping me in the face. Let me know what I've done all these years and what kind of person I've raised.”Wen Xuan said.
Xi 'er's face was already covered in tears. Now, she tried her best to suppress it. However, her tears kept flowing down. and
"I have no choice but to be honest with you. Even though I know it will break your heart, Wenxuan.”Xi 'er said.
"Don't call me by my name. I didn't teach you how to behave, nor did I teach you manners. I raised a wolf and didn't know it. You can go now. I can give you money. Go somewhere else. I won't keep you here. I'm no longer your father. I have nothing to do with you anymore." Wen Xuan said.
Xi 'er gritted her teeth and looked down at the surface of the sea that was glowing with yellow light. She felt that the seawater was bone-chilling.
"Or do you want to give birth to the child before leaving? That way, there won't be any burden." Wen Xuan said.
"Child, you know?" Xi 'er asked," Is that what you think?”
"They saw through it. I can help you raise this child.”Wen Xuan said.
"Them, it's them again." Xi 'er smiled and said,"This child is not yours."”
"You're not my child either." Wen Xuan said.
"This is different. How I wish I could have a child with you.”Xi 'er said.
"Don't say this. You don't know what you're talking about." Wen Xuan said.
"You're always like this. It was in the past, and it still is now." Xi 'er said.
"What?" Wen Xuan asked.
"Self-righteous." Xi 'er said.
"You really shouldn't have come back." Wen Xuan smiled bitterly. Now, I don't know what I'm facing.”
Xi 'er burst into tears, her hands gripping the edge of the boat tightly.
"It's useless." Wen Xuan said," You're no longer a child. You've grown up.”
"Can you not be so calm?”Xi 'er cried for a while and twitched." I was hiding in the woods the day I left. And you didn't come out to chase me, nor did you come to look for me, just like now. You said that no matter what I did wrong, you would forgive me and never abandon me.”
"That was in the past. You were still a child. Besides, I didn't expect you to do such a thing. I spent so much time trying to protect you. In the end, it was still the same. It was no longer a matter of right or wrong, but human lives. You hurt another innocent child, and that child is your younger brother.”Wen Xuan said.
"So you lied." Xi 'er held the edge of the boat and straightened her body in the water as she looked at him.
"I didn't expect it to be like this. This kind of thing might not even be forgiven by the gods. I'm just a mortal. I'm sorry, Xi 'er." Wen Xuan said.
"Why don't you think about why I came back? If I didn't say those words, I would be a saintess in your heart, right? Then why should I say it? Also, if I really wanted to throw the child in my stomach to someone else, why did I come back here? Do I want this child to be like me, being criticized by others?”Xi 'er said.
"I'm already old. I don't have the energy to think so much.”Wen Xuan said.
Xi 'er turned her head and looked at the pitch-black sea in front of her. She silently shed tears. She felt that her body was heavy, and she was about to sink into this pitch-black abyss.
"I didn't expect that after caring for you so much, I wouldn't be as good as Liu Yongnian's knife in the end. If you can distinguish right from wrong, you should know how wrong it is. If my education is effective, you will also stop. And you still chose such a vicious method to take revenge. What have I done all these years?”Wen Xuan asked.
"You don't know what those people are saying. Even Teacher thinks so.”Xi 'er said," At the beginning, I was very concerned. Later, I thought it through. When you grow up, no one can hurt you physically. They can only hurt you mentally. It didn't matter. Because those things could not be changed.”
"Is that why you left here? Or was it because of you?" Wen Xuan asked.
"Here, you are trying to be a saint. Sometimes, I think that you saved me and raised me because of some kind of morality. However, it was very difficult to truly become a morally perfect person.”Xi 'er said.
"You're still defending child abuse. Have you ever thought that your actions are no different from your biological father's?”Wen Xuan said.
"That is not my father." Xi 'er shouted. She held the boat tightly and felt her body float under the water, which made her feel drowsy.
"You didn't come to find me, but asked me to leave. I began to think that this was a moral choice. Just like morally, you can't possess a child.”Xi 'er said.
"That's because I can't." Wen Xuan said.
"That's it. No, no. Nothing was allowed. Why must you be so calm and cold? Then, then why did you avoid me and cry that day?”Xi 'er asked.
"Xi 'er, you're thinking too much about your personal feelings. You've even gone beyond morality.”Wen Xuan said.
"I'm not a child. When you saved me, I was no longer a child. Don't put those things on me. I'm the only one who knows what I've struggled with, including coming back here. This is definitely the most unsuitable place for me in the world. But I couldn't help it and came back.”Xi 'er said.
"You really shouldn't have come back." Wen Xuan said," You really should keep going. You can go now. I can give you anything you want."
"Wenxuan." Xi 'er jumped up from the water and supported herself with her hands on the deck. She was drenched and dripping with water. She approached Wen Xuan and looked up at his slightly closed eyes." Wen Xuan."”
"You can't. I couldn't do it in the past." Wen Xuan said," You can't do it now.”
"I'm sorry." Xi 'er lowered her head and glanced at the smooth water on the deck. She felt weak in her limbs and her body was heavy. The abyss was sucking onto his body and holding on tightly. Tired and sleepy, she slid down the edge of the boat and sank into the sea without a sound. She fell into a silent abyss, still.
At a certain moment, she woke up and found herself lying on the bed. She got out of bed, ran to the porch, and looked out at the silver sea. After the night rain, the petals scattered all over the ground. The air was filled with the smell of soil. The bicycle had rusted and was leaning against the wall. She sat on the porch and waited in the warm sea breeze.
Day after day, as if Wen Xuan had never left, she tidied up the house and took out their clothes to dry and wash. She tidied up the yard and turned over the seafood. She tidied up the bookcase again and again, rereading the books. Her stomach was becoming more and more obvious. The place where it rose up was like a small hill. Every day, she would sit on the porch and bask in the sun, staring at the shimmering sea.
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。