twenty-fifth
1
The next school year, Abu moved back to the school. His major required him to spend more time studying. At this stage, every week, there would be a combination of theory and anatomy classes. He felt very fulfilled. In addition, he began to get in touch with more local students and frequently communicated with professors to prepare for clinical practice. After he was assigned to the hospital, he needed to communicate with more people. Therefore, he was improving his language skills so that he could blend in with the locals.
However, he was still the boring and serious nerd in people's eyes. He kept a distance from everyone and immersed himself in his high-intensity studies at all times. He was still working at the Chinese restaurant. When Old Li wasn't around, Hong Ming was rarely in the shop. Fatty became lazy and cunning. The shop was managed by a person called Ding Chang. This person often stood at the front desk with a straight face, making people unable to figure him out.
The third year in Ying Country passed very quickly. Abu's results were the best in the department. Next year, he would be assigned to the hospital for clinical studies. He began to pack up the things in the dormitory. Gradually, he realized that he was already used to life in the Ying country.
The sky was always gloomy. The demonic wind continued.
Abu felt that everyone here was just a passerby. It was as if they were facing a projection on the screen, separated by a virtual distance.
That year, Aren got into a second-tier university and was willing to go to school under Abu's persuasion. This made Abu extremely happy. Now, he was thinking about whether he should choose a suitable major for Aren.
In addition, the clinical learning phase would soon arrive. He was in a group with three other local students, and they would study in different departments for a year. Every four weeks, they would be transferred to another department. In the beginning, they could not adapt to this state. After a few months, they had all adjusted. Every day, they followed their mentor to make ward rounds and recorded what they had to do in their logs. After they arrived at the clinic, they had to face more complicated situations and take care of different patients. Although these days were rather busy, they could grow up quickly and learn more clinical knowledge.
2
A few days before Christmas, he couldn't turn down his mentor's invitation. Originally, he wanted to spend the day in the hospital. Or return to the cold and dark apartment and wait for the sunrise. Now, he could only change into his best clothes and prepare to go out.
Don't bring anything. It was good to have a gathering. Professor Mark winked when he said this. Abu thought for a moment and opened his suitcase to rummage through it. He found an old fan on the ground floor. He opened the fan and looked at the words 'Righteousness' on it. He fanned it. He flipped over the fan and saw the welcoming pine painted on the back. For a moment, he couldn't find the wrapping paper, so he tore off a calendar and wrapped it around the fan.
He stuffed the fan into his clothes and went out. The sky was gloomy. The biting cold wind blew against his face. He wanted to immediately turn around and retreat into the cave-like apartment. However, he still moved his legs and dispelled this thought. He took a step forward. After crossing this street, there were more pedestrians on the road. He looked at the Christmas decorations in the window and the figures reflected on them.
Originally, Abu thought that this was just a small family gathering. When he entered the house, he found that it was full of people. He saw many familiar faces. These were his colleagues in the hospital. He was not used to seeing these people appear in such a manner. He smiled and greeted everyone, looking for Ma Ke.
Mark was hiding behind a pile of balloons, holding a wine glass in his hand and talking to a few doctors. Seeing this, Abu stopped and leaned against the bookcase, turning his head to look at the people who were laughing and talking. Someone offered him wine, but he refused. He raised his hand and hugged the fan. Like a swordsman, he stayed out of the way and observed.
"You need a glass of wine." The golden-haired woman came up to him, reeking of alcohol.
Abu shook his head and straightened his back, afraid that the person would come up to him.
"Why are you so serious?" The woman reached out and hit him on the shoulder. She leaned close to his ear and bit it, saying," You look very cute.”
Abu turned his head in annoyance and took a step back, his face expressionless.
The woman smiled and leaned over again, saying,"It's very boring here. Let's go."
Abu quickly turned around and accidentally knocked over the wine glass in the woman's hand. The wine splashed all over the woman. The cup fell to the ground and shattered.
The woman pointed at him and cursed. She wanted to pull Abu away, but she was pulled away by the others. People looked over and whispered a few words, as if they were discussing.
Abu ignored him. He walked past the living room and came to the window. He pushed open the French window. He was standing on the balcony, facing the cold wind. The sound of a zither came from the room. Someone started dancing in the room, drawing cheers and applause from the people.
"You're still so nervous."
Abu turned around and saw Ma Ke coming out with two cups of coffee. He took one cup and held it in his hand.
Mark shook his neck as if he felt cold. He drank half a cup of coffee and turned to look at Abu.
"They say you're a nervous, serious man.”Ma Ke said. He turned his head and glanced at the group of people who were partying in the room, then whistled to the rhythm.
Abu took out the fan and handed it to Ma Ke without saying anything. Ma Ke placed the coffee on the balcony table. He took the gift, opened the cover, and examined the fan. He opened the fan and fanned himself, smelling the scent of sandalwood. Then, he lowered his head and looked at the Chinese and ink paintings on it.
"These things always fascinate you. I don't understand. It was something very profound. But it's very attractive to me." Ma Ke said.
Abu smiled and took a sip of warm coffee.
Ma Ke put away the fan and stuck it into his jeans pocket."Can I wear it like this? Or is it like this?" He took out a fan, opened it, and held it in front of his chest.
"Anything is fine." Abu said.
Ma Ke put away his fan and took out two boxes from behind him, handing them to Abu.
"Fortunately, the other students have all gone home.”Ma Ke said," Even if I die, I'll still be here. I'm probably going bankrupt.”
Abu was a little embarrassed. He put down the coffee and took the gift. He wanted to put away the gift, but he saw that Ma Ke was still staring at him. Her bean-like eyes sparkled. He opened the gift.
He received a woolen sweater and a brand-new medical dictionary. When he saw the dictionary, Abu felt his heart heat up, and tears welled up in his eyes. He thought the Professor must have noticed the tattered second-hand dictionary on his desk. Compared to the fan that he had given her, which had been hidden in the bottom of the box for a long time, these gifts were really too precious.
Ma Ke looked at him, took out his fan, and fanned himself.
Downstairs, the streetlights were lit. The yellow light floated on the road like a ball of fire.
Cheers of men and women came from the room. Someone played a cheering tune.
Abu touched the medical dictionary and turned his head to see a bunch of couples kissing by the roadside.
"Where's Marilyn? She didn't keep London?" Ma Ke asked.
"Professor, we broke up." Abu said. The image of Marilyn walking out of the apartment under the sunlight flashed across his mind.
They met at an academic lecture. At that time, Marilyn, who was sitting in front, kept turning her head to look at him. After class, she took the initiative to ask Abu out for dinner. An art student admired Abu's oriental face and drew many paintings of him. There were sketches and oil paintings. Each of them had a pair of melancholic eyes, and they all contained an indescribable feeling. Marilyn was deeply fascinated by them. Abu's reaction to Marilyn was mediocre. He didn't refuse, nor did he admit it. Their relationship lasted for a year. When Abu was doing his internship at the hospital, Marilyn would come over. It was probably at that time that Mark found out about their relationship.
Their relationship came and went quickly.
One day, Marilyn was sitting by the bed, smoking. She looked at Abu and said,"There is nothing in your eyes. You make me feel fear."
Abu didn't say anything. He didn't even move his lips. He didn't know the girl who was painting him, crying and laughing at the same time.
"Alright then. I thought I got something special. Actually, you are nothing. There's nothing." Marilyn threw the cigarette butt into the cup and stood up. She walked out of the apartment in the morning light. Abu turned around and fell asleep.
"How's Professor James 'project going?”Abu shook his head to pull himself back from his memories." I heard that there's a shortage of people during the holidays.”
Ma Ke put away his fan, took the coffee, and took a sip."No, Abu, you don't need it. With your ability, many professors will accept you. But it was a holiday now. What you need is rest. James was like a rat, day and night. It was not a good sign.”
"I know what I need." Abu said.
"Soaking in high-intensity work won't help you. It was worse. Why not try to relax? It was Christmas, a joyous day for reunion. Abu, you are now in the west, in the Ying country. Why not a Western festival?" Ma Ke said.
"Professor, I'm already celebrating.”Abu raised his coffee and said.
"Don't call me professor, I'm already off work. Just call me Ma Ke." Ma Ke turned to look at the jubilant people in the room and said," That girl was quite cute. Why don't you take her out for a walk?"
Abu looked back at the deserted street. There was only one person hurrying along the long and narrow street. The man wrapped his clothes tightly and walked slowly on the road.
"Abu, please forgive my rudeness. You're not nervous or serious, but you lack something. I'm sorry, but I can't help you with this. You're very hardworking and talented. You'll become a very good doctor. However, there are some things that I can't see in your eyes.”Ma Ke said.
Snowflakes began to fall from the sky.
"I noticed you when the patient died. I don't know what you've experienced to be so calm and even numb. Perhaps this was also a condition that an excellent doctor needed to have. It's just that you're too young in comparison. You shouldn't be like this.”Ma Ke said.
The snowflakes drifted onto the deserted street.
The surroundings became quiet.
Abu did not speak. Or perhaps, he would never know how to answer such a question.
"Sometimes, you're like a homeless child.”Ma Ke said. He looked at Abu and took out a piece of paper. He handed it to him and said," Go find this person. He might be able to help you."
Abu took the paper and drank the coffee in his cup.
Ma Ke looked back at the laughing guests in the room and smiled. He did not disturb Abu, who was deep in thought, and walked back to the living room.
Abu continued to stay on the balcony for a while, feeling bored. He put on the new sweater, carried the heavy dictionary, walked into the house, and left quickly with his head lowered. He walked out of the door, looked up at the dense white debris in the air, and exhaled. The steam turned into mist. They dispersed. He lowered his head and walked alone on the white road.
3
When Abu arrived at the place designated by the professor, he breathed a sigh of relief. He looked up at the spire of the church and smiled. Where else could it be?
It was indeed inappropriate to enter now. The church was filled with people. Abu stood outside the door and looked inside. A song came from the flickering candlelight in the hall. He felt a certain gentleness. He leaned against the door and watched, but did not enter.
After the event ended, the priest saw Abu from afar and smiled. Perhaps he had heard about this child from Ma Ke.
Abu followed the priest out of the crowd and walked to the back of the church.
The snow that had accumulated overnight was knee-deep.
Abu turned his head to look at the people sweeping the snow outside the church. He shook off the snow foam that was about to melt on his boots.
"This is my favorite place." The priest stopped and looked at the snow-covered cemetery." Because it's very quiet here.”
There were crosses in the snow. Some of the words written on it had already fallen off. Many of them could no longer tell the years.
Abu saw Mark's shadow between the priest's eyebrows. Or perhaps, his words also had traces of Ma Ke. However, he quickly found the difference between the two.
"Alright. What do you have to say? In this place, no one would ever reveal it.”said the priest, glancing at the crosses.
Abu lowered his head and looked at one of the crosses. Catherine Morse, 1973-1988.
The priest followed his gaze and looked at the cross.""Poor child, he died of leukemia.”
"Do you know everyone here?”Abu asked.
"Most of them are from the pasturing area. Some of them only met before they died." The priest turned his head and whispered to Abu," We have to hurry. These guys just want to sleep and not be disturbed.”
Abu laughed.
The priest turned around and stepped into the snow. A rustling sound came from under his feet, as if countless bubbles had burst in an instant. Heavy footprints were left on the snow. They walked straight ahead and came to a bare tree. There was a layer of white snow on the branches.
Abu wrapped his clothes tightly and exhaled. He watched as the gas condensed into white mist in the air. It was like a smoke ring. He thought.
The priest turned to look at him and continued walking forward. They walked around the cemetery and came to a small house. They stopped and looked at the circle of crosses surrounded by footprints.
"My child, how do you feel?”The priest turned his head to look at Abu and exhaled a mouthful of white gas.
Abu kicked his feet and shook off the snow on his boots.""So cold."
The priest smiled and winked at the cloudy sunlight.""Let's go inside."
Abu followed the priest into a warm room. He watched as the priest took off his thick coat and hung it by the door, and he did the same. The priest picked up the stick and threw it into the small, flickering fireplace. The fire sprang up and burned fiercely. Then, the priest picked up the iron can on the fireplace and poured a cup of coffee for Abu.
Abu took the coffee and sat on the sofa beside the fireplace. He held the warm coffee in his hand and looked down at the steam rising from his boots.
"Change into it." The priest handed him a pair of slippers.
Abu took off his boots and put them on, only to find that the priest had already taken his boots and placed them beside the fireplace.
Smoke rose from the furnace. The snow on his boots melted into water and flowed to the ground.
Abu stared at the blazing fire and felt his face tense up. The fire seemed to have jumped to his eyes. He felt his eyes burning.
"Priest, do you favor the gods?" Abu suddenly asked.
"God loves everything." the priest said.
"Everything? There would always be someone chosen. Just like Jesus." Abu said.
"He is suffering in place of all living beings." said the clergyman."The favoritism you speak of is partial. You didn't see the trials and hardships he went through."
"What about sin? Knowing someone's sin but not being able to stop it, was that considered a crime?”Abu asked.
Abu shook the cup in his hand and turned his head to look at the white world outside the window.
"Child, humans are born with sins. If you are hurt by someone else's sin, forgive him. Some people didn't think they were guilty at all, and some people didn't know how to face it even if they knew. They did not dare to come before God to atone for their sins. Do your best to face God. As for the result, leave it to God.”the priest said.
Abu drank the contents of the cup. He turned his head to look at the melted snow by the door and stood up. He couldn't understand what the other party was saying, but he didn't want to delve into it.
The priest pushed out the chessboard and said,"Want to play?"”
Abu shook his head and changed his boots."I'd better go out and chill."
"Child, God bless you." The priest smiled and said," Come again next time."”
Abu smiled, put on his shoes, and went out.
The snow that had been stepped on by the roadside turned black and dark. Under the scorching sun, it gradually turned into dirty water.
The cold wind blew against his face. Abra pulled up his collar and walked across the icy road with his head lowered.
4
After a while, Abu returned to the church as promised. This time, the church was empty, and there were only the two of them. It was dark inside, filled with Yin Qi.
"Priest, is everyone sinful in the eyes of God? Is this true?" Abu asked. He looked up at the cross on the white wall.
"Man is born with sin." the priest said.
"If some people think that they are not guilty.”Abu asked.
"You mean Satan, the devil.”the priest said.
"That's even more terrifying than a demon, but that's your family, someone you respect. The person you can't get rid of in your life.”Abu said.
"Child, you don't need to bear the shackles of others. The shackles on your body are already heavy enough. If you turn to Satan because of the sins of others, it will only increase your sin. You should seek refuge with God and atone for your sins. The world was in chaos, and false gods surged. You should believe in your own God and keep your goodness.”the priest said.
"What if I don't? What if there was no God in my heart? What if there is no kindness and no faith?" Abu asked.
The priest turned to look at him and smiled.""Believe me, child, you have it. Please do not doubt or probe. Don't be affected by the choices of your predecessors. You can make your own choices and make your own judgments. Everyone was the same before God. You chose God, and God chose you.”
Abu lowered his head and his gaze fell on the Bible.
"Perhaps, you can come more often and participate in the Church's activities. These will be beneficial to you." the priest said.
There are too many things to learn in the hospital." Abu said.
"Child, you chose to save people, which proves your heart. He had to believe in his good side and defeat the evil.”the priest said.
"I still don't know if I made the right choice.”Abu said.
"What made you doubt yourself?" the priest said.
"I'm not sure either. Some things just can't be controlled." Abu said.
"Don't try to control everything. That was what gods did. God had his own plans. You just have to be yourself." the priest said.
"What if there is no result?" Abu said.
"Give yourself to God and enter his warm and peaceful embrace. At that moment, you will understand. Now, you haven't. You're not ready yet. You're still doubting, still in doubt.”the priest said.
At this moment, someone entered the church and walked over the corridor. Footsteps sounded.
"Perhaps you should go back and think about it. Or he should not think about anything. Those doubts were temporary. Child, sleep and rest. God will bless you." the priest said.
Perhaps, he had once received a trace of comfort in the church. But as his schoolwork grew heavier and his tasks increased, he went to church less and less. Once this short period of time ended, the only comfort he had was extinguished.
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。