seven years later
It was as if everything was as light as the wind and clouds. All the pain had been taken away as time passed.
When someone accidentally brought up the past, Xia Juhua still responded with a smile. Although that smile was very faint and almost imperceptible, there was no bitterness.
He lived his life peacefully. As long as he was alive, he had to work and eat.
Others looked at her sympathetically, and some praised her for being so strong. However, no matter what others said or thought, it had nothing to do with her.
She remained silent, so silent that people almost forgot about her existence.
"Sister Chrysanthemum, can you please make a copy? This information is very urgent.”A young and beautiful girl placed a thick stack of documents on her desk.
Xia Juhua nodded silently. She put down the pen she was writing down, picked up the documents, and walked to the photocopier at the side. She printed them one by one.
She had been working in this company for five years. Although she was an accountant, she would give all the work to her when she was pouring tea, running to the bank, going to the tax bureau, and even when every colleague had endless work or wanted to slack off.
Because she never refused, nor did she have any unhappy or opposing opinions. She had never even reported to her superiors. Everyone trusted her because no matter what she did, she was extremely serious.
"Sister Chrysanthemum, please order a fast food. I want fried prawns.”
"Sister Chrysanthemum, please pour me a cup of tea.”
"Sister Chrysanthemum, please type a document.”
As Xia Juhua listened, she methodically completed the work that should not have been her responsibility before returning to her seat to continue her work.
Although checking accounts, keeping accounts, and making accounts were very cumbersome, they needed to be the most serious and careful because a single error in the decimal point could lead to serious consequences and losses.
"Sister Chrysanthemum, has the local silver arrived?”Sun Yuan, who worked as an accountant with her, asked.
She had just joined the company not long ago and had asked Xia Juhua many things. She admired Xia Juhua's serious and honest attitude and was especially respectful to her. Especially when she came to the company every morning, Xia Juhua would check the bank accounts as usual.
Seeing her nod, Sun Yuan said," Oh, then can I write a check to pay the bill? Can I also report the tax?"”
"Yes."
Sun Yuan was already used to Xia Juhua's silence.
"Then I have nothing to do now. I'll go and file my taxes first!”
Xia Juhua nodded and handed her the information that she had prepared earlier. She had wanted to report it when she had free time, but when she looked at the pile of reports on her desk, she didn't know when she would be able to finish it, so she could only give up.
Time passed quickly. When it was time to get off work, she saw that everyone was tidying up their desks and couldn't wait to get off work. Someone greeted her, but Xia Juhua only responded. Everyone knew that she was always the last to leave, so they did not ask her any more questions and left one by one.
Gradually, the room quieted down, leaving only the sound of Xia Juhua flipping through documents and writing.
At this moment, the guard, Uncle Li, walked in. He knew very well that Xia Juhua would not leave work until nine o'clock this year.
"Miss Xia, you're working overtime again. If you continue like this, be careful that your body won't be able to take it.”
Xia Juhua raised her head and smiled at him, then lowered her head to do the accounts seriously.
Uncle Li was already used to her silence, so he placed the keys on the table.
"I've already closed the doors and windows. You just need to lock the door. I'll have to trouble you to come early tomorrow.”
"Thank you." Xia Juhua nodded at Uncle Li.
"Don't stay up too late. A girl has to be careful on her way home.”Uncle Li urged.
Xia Juhua nodded and said lightly,""Goodbye."
Uncle Li shook his head and sighed. He slowly turned around and left." I'm old, and I'm not as strong as before. I want to go home and rest early. But Miss Xia, your heart is older than mine. Sigh!”
Even so, Xia Juhua still woke up at six in the morning to go to work from Monday to Friday and got off work at nine in the evening. When she got home, she would wash up, change her clothes, and go to bed.
Her days were the same, and she continued to follow the fixed pattern that she had set for herself, not affected by external factors at all.
Saturday morning!
Xia Juhua still opened her eyes before 6 am. In fact, she didn't really sleep for more than five hours a day. She got out of bed to wash up and made breakfast. Unlike in the past, she also made a lot of dishes.
Carrying a bag of fruits, cooked food, and a handful of chrysanthemums, she took a few buses and arrived at the cemetery in the suburbs. The cemetery was not very big, and each cemetery occupied a small area. Most of the people buried here were poor people.
The cemetery in the city was too expensive. She had used everything she had to buy this small piece of land in the remote suburbs and erect a tombstone.
On the stele were written the words "Tomb of my beloved son Xia Xuan". In the lower right corner, there was also the words "Xia Chrysanthemum" written in small words.
There was a photo on it. In the photo was a little boy about six or seven years old. He had delicate features and was very good-looking. His bright smile was even more lovable.
Xia Juhua slowly squatted down and said with a smile,""Xuan 'er, Mom is here to see you."
She stared blankly for a long time before she took out the fruits and food beside her and placed them neatly in front of the tombstone. Then, she inserted the yellow chrysanthemums.
Her Xuan 'er liked the dishes she cooked the most and also liked yellow chrysanthemums the most because he always said that her name was chrysanthemum. It was the most pleasant name in the world, and chrysanthemums were also the most beautiful flowers in the world. She still remembered Xuan 'er's smile when he said these words.
Xia Juhua sat down and caressed the stone tablet in a daze. Her eyes were filled with that brilliant smile.
Mom, I got 100 points!
Mom, I can take the bus home by myself.
Mom, I know how to cook, but it's a little burnt. Next time, I'll add more water.
Mom, I like you so much. You're the best mom in the world.
Mother…
Xia Juhua's mind was filled with Xia Xuan's every frown and smile, and her ears were filled with his murmurs.
But where was her adorable son now?
He disappeared. As the car drove over quickly, even though the brakes were loud, they could not stop the car from moving forward. The car collided with Xuan 'er's small body just like that. Bright red blood dyed the white zebra crossing red. It was like her tears that kept flowing.
To this day, Xia Juhua still remembered the last time she held her son's small body tightly. The words her son said to her, those memories kept appearing in her mind...
"Mommy, it hurts." His small body kept twitching. Xia Xuan moaned softly, but blood kept flowing out of his slightly opened mouth and nose.
"Mommy, it hurts."
What could she do? What should she do? Her son's pain seemed to have multiplied on her body. The crying moans were like a hammer hitting her chest heavily, making her feel that the air had become so thin that even breathing was difficult.
She hugged her son tightly and wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth with trembling hands. She muttered to herself,"It doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt. Xuan 'er doesn't hurt anymore.”
" Mom, Mom..." Xia Xuan cried helplessly, unable to describe the pain.
"I'm here." Xia Juhua felt as if her heart had been torn in half. Her heavy breathing was accompanied by the words she spat out with difficulty." Mommy is here."”
"Mommy, I…it hurts." Her tightly shut eyes opened, and those big, bright eyes that were as bright as before no longer moved around nimbly. Looking at his mother's tearful face, Xia Xuan tried his best to smile, but his expression was distorted by the pain.
"It doesn't hurt, Mommy…I'm not in pain, I don't…want to cry. Mommy, your smile is the most…beautiful.”
"Okay, Mommy, don't cry." Xia Juhua wiped away the tears on her face. Although her mouth echoed her son's words, her expression was still in a daze. She had always thought that her son was the most precious gift given to her by the heavens. Now... could it be that the heavens could not bear to see him suffer with her anymore, so they wanted to take him away?
"Mom, you have to…smile." Blood flowed from his nose even more violently. Xia Xuan's voice became weaker and weaker, as if every word he said exhausted all the strength in his body.
"Okay, Mommy will smile." Xia Juhua said sadly, blooming a smile that was uglier than crying, but it looked especially moving with her tears.
" Mom, smile..." Before he could finish speaking, Xia Xuan closed his eyes in peace and his hands drooped weakly.
Xia Juhua panted and hugged her son tightly, not moving at all.
She didn't know how long she had watched her son. She didn't close her eyes that night, and she just remembered the little things that happened when she was with her son.
Xia Juhua was unusually calm. She prepared Xia Xuan's favorite clothes, cleaned his body, and wiped away the blood stains. She did everything so carefully.
As for Xia Xuan's funeral, because Xia Juhua had no friends or relatives, everything was done by a few kind-hearted neighbors who had watched Xia Xuan grow up.
Originally, he was going to be cremated. Because Xia Juhua couldn't bear to see her son's body being invaded by insects and ants, she wanted to scatter her son's ashes into the sea, hoping that he would turn into smoke and dissipate with the wind. However, the old man said that it was best to bury such a young child. It was also because of her selfishness that she did not want to have no place to miss her son. Since her son's soul had already flown to heaven, she would let his body accompany her.
In front of Xia Xuan's grave, Xia Juhua burned all his toys, clothes, used things, and photos.
There was only a photo of the mother and son. They were so happy at that time, and they had the same bright smile as the photo on the tombstone. This was also the only memento of her being a mother. All that was left were her beautiful memories and endless longing for her son.
She didn't know how she spent the long night. She did not fall asleep because she knew that this was not a dream. After she woke up, her son still could not call her with his clear childish voice.
She never cried again. She went to work as usual. Other than being quieter, she was no different from before.
Mom, you have to smile.
She would smile because she remembered her son's last words.
She smiled gently, as gentle as a breeze. However, just like the wind, that smile was also untouchable, and it was even more impossible to feel the sadness and joy.
The sky darkened, and the afterglow of the setting sun shone on the pine trees in the cemetery. This kind of natural beauty blended with the faint red sunset in the sky was so moving. She knew that her son would definitely like it here.
The evening breeze gradually rose. Xia Juhua slowly stood up. She packed her things and said goodbye to her son. As usual, she took the last bus and left.
There were only a few people in the car, and the car was driving very fast. Everyone in the car had a solemn expression on their faces. Silence was the only language they could speak. She looked out the window. The trees and mountain walls that flashed past made her feel that life was flowing rapidly.
Not long after, they passed by an orchard. July was the season for fruit to ripen and harvest. In the dark, the fruit trees were as crowded as a small mountain. The dense branches were covered with fruits, and the branches seemed to be unable to bear the weight of the fruits and drooped slightly, making people involuntarily happy.
Xia Juhua couldn't help but think of her son who was always clinging to her side, longing for her.
Mom, when are you taking me to the orchard to play?
This was such a small request, but she had never done it before. From Xia Xuan's one-month-old birthday, she started to work and used the night to go to class to study. She left the child in the care of her neighbors. Because she knew that a cashier's salary could not afford the lives of two people, she began to work hard to improve her ability. For Xia Xuan's future, she had to work hard.
Over the past few years, she had worked hard day and night. She had finally gained something. She had successfully become an accountant in the company from a junior clerk. Her salary had also doubled, but she still did not have much time to accompany Xia Xuan. Because society was developing too fast, college students were everywhere on the streets now. If she wanted to stand firm in the company, she still had to keep learning. Therefore, she could not even satisfy Xia Xuan's tiny wish.
Thinking of this, Xia Juhua was filled with guilt and pain.
There was a mental hospital located halfway up the mountain.
The morning fog shrouded the mountainside, leaving only the sharp peak.
The main road leading to the hospital was a wide cement road that was opened up against the mountain. Due to its remote location, there were no buses on this road other than the patients 'family members' cars and the hospital's shuttle bus.
Xia Juhua walked along the mountain road for half an hour. It was foggy in front of her.
Soon, a large iron gate stood in front of her with the words "Anxin Hospital" written on it. A few meters high wall surrounded several buildings, and the branches and leaves of several towering trees protruded over the wall. The white fog also covered the hospital made of red and white tiles. The looming scenery made people think that they were seeing a mirage.
After entering the gate, they saw a small path that led directly to the hospital building. On both sides of the path were large patches of grass, and there were all kinds of flowers. Some of the flowers were in full bloom, and the crisp chirping of birds could be heard.
The hospital building was a little old, and many red and white tiles had fallen off.
However, because it was far away from the hustle and bustle of the world, the early morning here was extremely quiet. The birds were singing and the flowers were fragrant. It seemed to be a fairyland. The air here was so fresh that people couldn't help but take a few more breaths.
The patients here were also free from human emotions and desires. They were not disturbed by external factors and lived in a wonderful world that they had created.
"Morning, Sister Chrysanthemum." A nurse in a white uniform greeted him with a smile.
"Morning." Xia Juhua smiled calmly.
For the past seven years, she had come here every Sunday regardless of rain or shine, so the doctors, nurses, and even the uncle who guarded the door were very familiar with her.
Many nurses took the initiative to greet Xia Juhua when they saw her.
"Chrysanthemum, you're here."
On the third floor, Xia Juhua came to the door of a ward and was about to push it open when a middle-aged nurse came over with a pot of water. When she saw Xia Juhua, she greeted her happily.
"Auntie Cui." Xia Juhua replied softly.
Cui Zhen had been a nurse for almost twenty years. She had always been loyal to her duties and was a good nurse with a kind heart.
"Come in!" Cui Zhen pushed the door open and hurriedly called her in.
It wasn't big, with only a low bed and a set of tables and chairs fixed to the wall. The chair was facing the window, and he could see the scenery outside.
A woman in her fifties sat on the chair. She had short hair and was wearing a white hospital gown. She looked out the window without blinking. Her expression could be said to be very calm.
"Mommy." Xia Juhua placed the fruit on the table and called out softly.
The woman did not move, immersed in her own thoughts.
Cui Zhen also placed the kettle on the table and poured a glass of water for her. She then gestured for Xia Juhua to sit on the bed and sat beside her.
"How have you been recently?" Cui Zhen looked at Xia Juhua with obvious heartache in her eyes.
Ever since Xia Juhua's mother was sent here seven years ago, she began to take care of Xia Juhua's mother and got to know Xia Juhua. All these years, she had long treated Xia Juhua as her own daughter. Her heart ached for Xia Juhua. A year ago, Xia Xuan died in a car accident. She was the only one in the hospital who knew about it. She also cried for that lovable child for a few days, and her heart ached even more for Xia Juhua.
Xia Xiaofu's mother's illness was considered a special type of mental illness. She did not cry, make a fuss, laugh, or make a fuss. Every day, she would sit or lie down in a daze, staring at the food with her eyes wide open. Even when she ate, it was someone else who fed her mouthful by mouthful. The doctor said that she was living in her own consciousness and was unwilling to wake up. She was like a living dead until she really died.
Cui Zhen was not worried about Xia Xiaofu's mother. Xia Xiaofu's mother had also suffered a lot. It was better for her to live like this. However, Xia Juhua was only 26 years old, the age when she was as mature as a flower. The hardships she had suffered were no less than her mother's. In the past, he still had the smart and cute Xia Xuan to rely on. He did not expect that even Xia Xuan would be taken away by Death a year ago. Cui Zhen couldn't help but blame the heavens for not treating Xia Juhua better.
Cui Zhen looked at Xia Juhua, who still had a calm smile on her face, and sighed. She had suffered so much and even lost her only son, yet she was still so calm. She was worried that Xia Juhua, who kept everything in her heart, would torture herself to the point of breaking down one day.
"Yes, I am. How is Auntie Cui?"
"I'm still the same." Cui Zhen smiled." Your mother is fine too. She's quite happy to live peacefully in her own world.”
Xia Juhua nodded. Yes, this was the best for her mother. She had always understood.
She stood up to get the fruits she had brought.
"I'll go get a fruit knife." Cui Zhen also stood up and walked out of the door.
After a while, Cui Zhen walked in with a small fruit knife in her hand and handed it to Xia Juhua. Xia Juhua also took out a bag of fruits and handed it to her.
"I told you not to spend so much money." Cui Zhen took it and muttered.
She had said it many times, but Xia Juhua still bought her favorite fruits every time, making her feel touched and helpless. Xia Juhua just smiled and didn't reply.
"Then have a good chat with your mother. I'm going out to do something. I'll come back later.”
After all, young girls nowadays were not willing to do such things as feeding water, feeding food, and taking care of the toilet. Especially in this mental hospital, few people were willing to face these abnormal patients. Moreover, the hospital's funds were not very sufficient, so it could not attract people to work here. It also made her busy looking after several patients at the same time.
Xia Juhua nodded and watched Cui Zhen leave.
She took out an apple from the bag and sat by the bed to peel it slowly. She cut it into small pieces so that she could feed it.
"Mom." Xia Juhua squatted down at her mother's feet and turned her body so that her mother could see her.
Xia Xiaofu's mother's gaze on her was dull and she ignored her completely.
Xia Juhua placed a small piece of apple into her mother's mouth. Xia Xiaofu's mother chewed on it unconsciously and swallowed it after a long time.
Xia Juhua looked at her mother and didn't say anything. Xia Xiaofu's mother didn't say anything.
After some time, Cui Zhen walked in again with a lunch box and a plastic chair in her hands.
"Chrysanthemum, let me feed her! Eat some food first! I was so busy that I forgot to bring a small chair for you to sit on. Why didn't you remind me? Your legs must be numb from squatting like this.”Cui Zhen handed her a lunch box and put down the chair.
Xia Juhua shook her head, indicating that it was okay. She stood up and put away the knife. All the equipment in the hospital was made of harmless plastic, as much as possible, to prevent the patient from hurting himself when he fell ill. The beds, chairs, and tables were all fixed, and even the walls of the ward were covered with a thick layer of rubber, not to mention things like knives that could hurt. They had to be kept well.
Cui Zhen had prepared a variety of dishes. Xia Juhua sat on the bed and ate slowly, but after a few mouthfuls, she felt full. She looked at the half-eaten food in the lunch box with some embarrassment.
Cui Zhen was feeding Xia Xiaofu's mother when she turned around to look at her and said helplessly,""I'll remember to make less for you next time. If you can't finish it, just throw it away.”
Xia Juhua smiled apologetically and got up to pour the rice into the trash can and wash the lunch box.
"Let me do it."
Xia Juhua took the lunchbox from Cui Zhen's hands and exchanged seats with her. Cui Zhen sat by the bed and chatted with her about some trivial things. Xia Juhua listened quietly and smiled from time to time.
"Chrysanthemum, can I introduce a friend to you?”Cui Zhen suddenly said.
Xia Juhua was stunned for a moment. She looked at Cui Zhen's sincere face and didn't know how to reject him. After all, Chui Zhen was the closest person to her besides her mother.
"I know you don't want to think about these things yet. It's good to meet. I watched that child grow up. He's a doctor and a good child.”Cui Zhen had never asked Xia Juhua about Xia Xuan's father. She only knew that Xia Juhua had a child out of marriage. She thought that this might be a sad thing, so she never asked.
Xia Juhua nodded. She couldn't bear to go against her intentions.
"That's good. I'll call him later and ask him when he's free to meet.”Cui Zhen said happily.
Xia Juhua smiled calmly.
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。