He waved away the gigolo beside him and drank another glass of hard liquor. The hot liquid rushed into his throat and almost made him cry.
He did care about Lian 'er. The absurdity of the past few days made him see clearly that he had used his feelings on others. Other than emptiness, he did not feel anything else. He bought a gigolo and pampered him like how he pampered Lian 'er. However, he got bored of her in an instant, just like how he got bored of her before he met Lian' er. If there was no words between the two of them and no physical entanglement, there would be nothing left.
He could be satisfied with holding Lian 'er. Even if he didn't do anything, he could still feel satisfied. It was like the empty space in his heart had been filled.
Was this what feelings were? If it wasn't for Lian 'er, would he never be able to feel the same satisfaction?
"Dammit!" He threw the wine glass down hard and watched the wine splatter all over the ground.
"You don't want me." Qing Xuan glanced at him and picked up the broken pieces on the ground.
When he bought him that day, he knew that he was just a substitute, and the worst substitute. He was not a substitute for someone, but for a period of time.
"How do you know what I want?”Why did he think that a small official was not knowledgeable? No matter if it was Lian 'er, Hong Yu, or this one, they all knew what they wanted and what others wanted.
"I also know that if you don't cherish her, you will lose her. If you don't know how to control the Tear Belle of Love Sleeve Lane, you will lose her. Even I haven't forgotten the beauty who cut her own neck with a dagger three years ago. You, who saved the beauty, naturally won't forget either.”
The uneasiness that was already hidden in his heart became even more intense when he heard these words.
"Even I can see that you care about him. So what if you admit it? You northerners are all about face. So what if you like men? There were many people who liked men here, and there were also many men living in couples in the south. You northerners are the most laughable. You clearly like her in your heart, but you still say that it's against etiquette. If you dare to go to a brothel, it's already a violation of etiquette. You've already crossed this line, so what if you take another step? If you really like him, go back quickly. Didn't your servant inform you that your wife was pregnant that day? That must have been a blow to Lei Ji, right?”
That's right! How would Lian 'er react when she found out that Xiang' er was pregnant? His mother would definitely make things even more difficult for him.
"Also, haven't you noticed that there's no news about the letters you sent home? I don't know how you get along with Lei Ji, but I feel that letters must be sent back and forth. You should really pay attention to letters that are sent without return.”Only now did he realize that he was actually quite kind-hearted and actually pushed the guests away.
It was mother. It must be because mother didn't let Lian 'er receive his letter, so Lian' er still didn't know where he went?
Damn it! What would Lian 'er think? She would definitely think that he had forgotten about her and didn't want her anymore, right?
At the thought of this, he felt as if there was a pair of watery eyes looking at him, and a slender hand holding a sharp dagger…
No, nothing will happen to Lian 'er. His Lian' er…
He didn't pack up his things, nor did he call the servants. When Qing Xuan realized that the figure in front of him had disappeared and sighed, the neigh of a horse came from outside…He left, and hoped that he wouldn't come back…
He hoped that Prince Lian Xiu would no longer be Lian Xiu, but rather Lian Xiu, deeply in love with his lowly official position…
When he saw a drop of water fall on the wine that had just spilled, he was not stupid enough to think that it would rain in the house.
" Really, why are you crying for nothing…" As she spoke, her nose started to sting again.
"What is this?"
He had been sick for many days and was in a daze. After taking medicine and waking up a little, Mrs. Zhu came to his room with a letter and a glass of wine.
Beside him, Xi Xiangyuan had also lost weight. Her slim body still showed no signs of her belly bulging. She was weak as she was supported by the maidservant. In the past, when she looked at him, her eyes would always reveal unwillingness, jealousy, sympathy, and helplessness. Now, there was a touch of despair and relative confidence.
"A letter and a cup of poisoned wine."
"Poisonous wine?" Why? Did he come to the backyard of the palace? Poisonous wine?
Matriarch Zhu's body trembled slightly. It was her first time doing this. She did want to get rid of this vixen, but she only wanted to chase him away from Yutang. She would be satisfied.
However, when she was talking about this with the Wangye's wife a few days ago, the Wangye's wife gave her this bag of things and told her that it was not enough to just chase him away. She said that Yutang had put too much thought into this vixen and that if she just chased him away, he would still be brought back in a few days. She had seen this kind of thing too many times.
That's right! Who didn't know about wangye's matter? The concubines that were chased away were brought back again and again, and it would never solve the problem.
"Poisonous wine?" Xi Xiangyuan was also shocked. She didn't know that it was poisonous wine and thought that her mother was only here to chase Lian 'er away.
"Then what is this letter? Did Yutang ask me to drink it?"
"No, Yutang doesn't know about this. This letter was written by Yutang to me, telling me that I can do whatever I want with you.”She had written this letter on her own initiative. The wangye's wife had specially asked the teacher to imitate Yutang's handwriting. Yutang had no idea.
Do as he pleases? That meant she didn't want him anymore, right?
Her beautiful lips curled up slightly as she reached out to pick up the cup of poisoned wine and drank it without hesitation. Even if Matriarch Zhu wanted to stop her, she did not have the time.
How could he be so decisive? Was he not afraid of death?
She thought that she would have to force him to drink that cup of poisoned wine, but he drank it so calmly that her heart trembled. She did not need to see him die with her own eyes, and regret began to spread in her heart.
"You…"
"What are you doing here?" Hong Yu had just cleaned up the bowl of medicine that Lian 'er had finished drinking. When she returned, she saw such a scene.
No one answered him. In fact, no one heard his angry shout. Everyone looked at Lian 'er who had drunk the poisoned wine. They were stunned by his unhesitating boldness.
A trace of dark blood slid down from the corner of Lian 'er's lips. Her thin hand, which had been tortured by the illness, wiped away the trace of blood. Her beautiful lips curled into a curve. " I thought poison should be sweet, but it still tastes like wine…" He muttered to himself as more blood slid down his lips.
"Why? Are you surprised? In your hearts, we are just lowly little people. When we hear something like poisoned wine, we should be scared out of our wits or scream, right?”His indifferent tone did not seem like someone who had just drunk poisoned wine. He spoke as if he was chatting. Suddenly finding their surprised expressions laughable, Lian 'er couldn't help but laugh out loud. Astonishingly, fresh blood flowed out along with her laughter.
He was still not in pain, nor was he sad. He really did not have a heart anymore, leaving only a sad empty shell.
He said that he would protect him. He said that he would protect him forever, but he didn't do it. He wasn't even willing to see him.
Didn't he say that he would tell him personally if he didn't want him? Then what was this letter?
It felt like a knife was cutting through his body, like a fire was burning through his body. The pain continued to spread, and his body couldn't bear it anymore, trembling and twitching. Blood kept flowing out of his mouth. His body felt pain, but why couldn't it hurt his heart?
"Lian 'er, no, no! Go and fetch the doctor. Tell the pavilion, hurry up! Go and get the doctor." Hong Yu pushed away Old Madam Zhu and Xi Xiangyuan who were blocking her way, and rushed forward to tightly hug Lian 'er, who was trembling like a fallen leaf in the wind.
The few people who were unprepared were pushed to the ground by him. Their panicked expressions and sorry postures were completely different from their usual arrogance and pride.
"Are you happy now?" Yingying suddenly walked forward and asked Old Madam Zhu and the others angrily,""Are you happy now? Are you satisfied with our deaths?”He grabbed the porcelain pot at the side and smashed it into pieces. He picked up a sharp porcelain piece and slashed his wrist. The merciless force made his wrist bleed in the shortest time possible. After condensing, it kept dripping.
"No, don't!" Xi Xiangyuan was frightened by him. The scene of Lian 'er resolutely drinking the poisoned wine just now still shook her heart. Now, the bloody scene in front of her could no longer hide her screams. She held her head and screamed in panic.
She did not! She didn't want to kill them. She didn't mean that. She just wanted them to leave. She didn't want them to die!
Yingying sneered. The pain in her wrist couldn't compare to her heartache. What had they done? They didn't do anything, so why did they end up like this? "Why? Are you afraid? Look carefully, your blood is the same color, right? Our blood is the same color. If you are human, are we not human? In your hearts, we are lowly, we are shameful, we are not raised by our parents, we are willing to degenerate…Haha! Ridiculous, you are just born richer than us. Because your background is better than ours, you have the right to force us to drink poisoned wine and commit suicide.”Because of the arrangement of the heavens, they did not even have the chance to make a comeback.
A trembling hand grabbed his blood-stained wrist.
"Lian 'er?" Turning around, he saw Lian 'er, who was wiping the blood from the corner of her lips, holding his hand and looking at him like a child. "Does it hurt? Does Yingying hurt?" As he spoke, his chin that had just been wiped clean was stained with red liquid again.
"Yes, it will hurt." How could it not hurt?
He tilted his head, his pale face full of doubt. "But I'm not in pain! It doesn't hurt at all." He thought of the moths that flew into the fire at night and let the fire burn him regardless of everything. Was it because he could not feel pain that he did not even hesitate?
Slowly, he closed his eyes. He was tired, so tired. Shouldn't he have rested a long time ago?
If she rested, her father would not betray her, Ming Yan would not lie to her, and he would not break his promise. But he missed him. Even if he betrayed him, he would still miss him. He would also think of Ming Yan and his father who had sold him…
When his father won money, he would buy candy for him to eat. Only he had a small piece of candy. He would secretly hide in the forest and slowly taste it. The sweet and greasy taste would reach his heart. At that time, a piece of candy could make him happy for a long time.
Ming Yan liked to tell him stories, she liked to tell him his own stories. Ming Yan was also a pitiful person. He used to be very beautiful, but everyone only saw his beauty and gave him countless money and treasures. They didn't know that the beauty was thinking of the big brother next door. Big Brother had a strong arm and although he wasn't tall, he was as strong as a mountain in Ming Yan's eyes. Big Brother doted on him very much. Even if he was sold to be a gigolo, Big Brother would still bring him the sweet cakes that had just been steamed at home. Until the day of Big Brother's wedding, the sweet cakes were all delivered to the bride.
Ming Yan didn't like gold at first, but no one gave him a sweet cake, so he worked hard to earn money. He secretly bought a sweet cake and cried while eating it…
Where was Yutang? Yutang was the person he liked the most. He liked her the moment he saw her. She liked his smile, liked his tall body, and also liked the attentive gentleness beneath his rough appearance. The first person who doted on him was Yutang. When he was sick, he would feed him medicine and even sit by the side to read, afraid that he would have a fever again in the middle of the night. When he was hungry, he would always take out a pile of snacks. It was clearly in the suburbs, but there was still a snowflake cake in his palm.
Snowflake cake was such a fragile snack, but he knew that he liked it, so he carefully protected it along the way, just to see his surprised face.
The silly big guy's appearance was so indulgent that he forgot who he was.
When she went out, she was like an old mother, but on the bed, she was the most gentle and passionate lover. But what he liked the most was when he hugged him and neither of them spoke. At that time, he did not look like an old mother, a lover, or Zhu Yutang. Instead, he looked like half a person. Yutang was half, and Lian 'er was the other half. The two halves combined into a big rock that looked at the scenery in a daze. It could watch the sun set in the west and the moon set in the west for a lifetime.
Seeing Lian 'er's eyes droop, Hong Yu and Yingying were both stunned. They looked at his smiling face in a daze, their minds empty.
He was selfish because he loved this stubborn child. Ever since his father sent the crying child to Love Sleeves Square, he had wanted to pamper this crying child. They left Love Sleeves Square together and came to the north together because they wanted to see the little child smile and see the little child's happy appearance. It was as if as long as he was happy, they could also become happy.
He had long lost his feelings. When he found out that his parents, who had sold him, lived less than a hundred steps away from Love Sleeve Square, he had always thought that they had no choice but to sell him. Therefore, on the day he lost his virginity, he struggled desperately. His body was given to him by his parents, so he had to cherish it. In the end, he saw the parents carrying the child in the courtyard a hundred steps away. Was that his younger brother or sister? The family was so happy. Why could they hold a child in their arms and watch another child cry in a brothel?
He really did not understand.
That day, he lost his feelings and could no longer obtain happiness. He gave up on himself and let the officials play with him.
He couldn't get happiness, so he wanted to see others happy. Even if the hope was so slim, he still wanted to get it...
" Ah…" He used all of his strength to hug the motionless Lian. His sharp cry broke out of his throat. The mournful and sorrowful voice shook everyone's tears, making them flow strangely.
Yingying couldn't stop him from shouting. She closed her eyes and listened to his screams. Suddenly, bright red blood spurted out of her opened lips, and an astonishing red gushed out of her throat like a spring.
Hong Yu was still shouting silently, trying to cry out the grief that she could no longer bear.
"Stop shouting, stop shouting. There won't be any more pain, there won't be any more.”Yingying sobbed and hugged Hong Yu, including Lian 'er.
Hong Yu shouted until her throat was broken. She didn't want to live anymore! Everyone wanted to die…
As if she had heard his cries, Hong Yu's blood-stained lips closed into a smile, and her weak hand grabbed Yingying's sleeve and shook it.
Looking into his eyes, Yingying understood.
Hong Yu had been sold to Love Sleeves Square when he was very young. In his memory, he only remembered that his father had taken him a long way to get there. At such a young age, he couldn't remember the journey, but he remembered the songs his mother often sang to him!!
My baby is a treasure, give him candy and smile at his mother
My baby is a smiling, round face with a small nest
Baby, smile, my lady, it hurts, it hurts, my heart hurts, my smile is sweet
Baby smiles, the goddess also smiles, and we smile together foolishly.
My baby is a treasure. Give him candy and smile at his mother…
When Hongyu grew up, she would sing it to people and ask them if they knew such a song. Later on, he heard someone singing this song in the alley beside Love Sleeves Square. There was also a child's laughter in the song. Only then did he know that the song was made up by his mother herself. He thought that his home was far away by his side...
"My baby is a treasure. My baby is a treasure. Smile, round face, small dimples. Baby, smile! Her mother was in pain, so much so that it hurt her heart, so much so that it made her smile sweetly. He knew how to sing this song, and so did the people in Love Sleeves Square. It was Hong Yu who wanted them to sing it. She wanted them to remember to sing it for everyone to hear and help him find his parents who were far away from him…
As she sang, Hong Yu's body turned cold. Yan Ting and Meng Xuan, who had rushed back after calling the doctor, looked at her in a daze and laughed foolishly...
When Zhu Yutang returned, he saw a group of people in Lian 'er's room. Occasionally, one could hear a silly laugh in the silent room. It was Meng Xuan laughing foolishly.
He saw his Lian 'er, who had lost a lot of weight. Her face was pale as she lay in Hong Yu's embrace. The blood dripping from Hong Yu's lips slowly flowed down Lian' er's neck, mixing with the dark blood in Lian 'er's mouth.
"You're here to see if Lian 'er has left?”There was no anger or excitement, as if he was asking if he had a good day.
Zhu Yutang walked to Lian 'er's side. The face that his palm touched was cold and motionless.
"You said you would wait for me, you said you would always wait for me.”In the end, you didn't keep your promise. "Doctor, call the doctor over. Hurry up!”He grabbed the stunned servant and roared. His Lian 'er said that she would wait for him. He just came back a little late. He couldn't just leave him like this.
The doctor was at the side, and he was invited by Yan Ting. He only came back to his senses after being yelled at by Yan Ting and hurriedly went up to check on Lian 'er. As for the other beautiful man, even he didn't have any hope. He had a broken throat and was beyond saving.
"Didn't you not want him anymore? Why pretend to be kind? He can't live without you. Since you don't want him, don't save him.”He still remembered the way Lian 'er talked to him that day. It was useless to save a body without a heart.
"I didn't, I didn't abandon Lian 'er!”He had finally understood his heart and admitted that he had fallen in love with a man. How could he not want the person he had fallen in love with?
He had rushed here without eating or sleeping. He had changed three horses in the middle of the journey. He did not care that his favorite horse had died by the roadside. He had come to tell Lian 'er that he loved her and wanted to accompany her for the rest of his life. He did not care about what other people thought of him. He did not care about anything else.
"Then what about that letter?”
He glanced at the envelope. "I didn't write that. Doctor, you must save him. He can't die.”His Lian 'er was so cold. Silly Lian' er always liked to be blown by the wind until her body was icy cold. Then, she would let him hug her to warm her body.
As he thought about it, Zhu Yutang took the petite body from Hong Yu's arms.
She couldn't warm him up. He had hugged him, so why couldn't she warm his body?
"Lian 'er, can you open your eyes and look at me? You secretly went to get some fresh air again, didn't you? Didn't I tell you to take care of yourself? Why wasn't he obedient again? It's my fault. I forgot to tell you to take care of yourself when I went out this time, so you forgot, right? Can you open your eyes?"
Old Madam Zhu looked at her son in horror and realized that he had the same smile on his face as Meng Xuan. He was smiling foolishly and talking to a dead man. "He's dead. He can't speak, he can't open his eyes. He was dead! He's dead!" Unable to bear any more shock, Matriarch Zhu frantically crawled to her son's side and shook him vigorously, trying to wake him up.
That vixen was dead. She wouldn't live. She wouldn't live…
Why didn't she feel happy? She should be happy that the vixen was dead, but she felt that her entire body was sticky, as if the blood that dripped from her hanging wrist onto the ground had stained her body.
She was the one who killed the person. She killed that vixen…
"My Lian 'er didn't die, right? Doctor, Lian 'er is not dead."
The doctor frowned and didn't say a word. He took a vase from the side and kept pouring water into Lian 'er's mouth. After pouring it in, he pressed down on her stomach to make her spit it out.
Zhu Yutang only watched as the servant kept handing over bowls of water for the physician to feed Lian 'er and then let her spit it out. At first, the water she spat out was mixed with filth, but later, it was only a faint pink color.
He was the one who made Lian 'er suffer. He was the one who said he would protect her for the rest of her life. He was the one who made her suffer…
When had he ever shed tears in his life? However, when he saw the water droplets falling on Lian 'er's eyelashes, they were as transparent as the color of her tears. In a trance, he mistook them for the tears flowing out of Lian' er's eyes.
There was once a day when he went to Hangzhou's Flower Street with his friends and saw a young man in tears in the noisy night.
The young man held a dagger in his hand, and the tears on his beautiful face were like transparent sea pearls, rolling one after another. They did not look like ordinary tears at all.
At that time, he had a taste of heartache.
Thinking about it carefully, he had always been a playboy and pitied the small official who had a rough fate, but he had never felt sorry for anyone.
The first time his heart ached was for his Lian 'er. He had fallen in love with this stubborn person then, but he was so stupid that he was unwilling to admit it.
Looking around, which person didn't know how to cherish it when they lost it?
Those were the words of the Murong family's fifth brother. Now, they echoed in his mind. He had indeed become that ordinary fool.
"I won't lose you, I won't lose my Lian 'er…"
It had been a long time since he had seen his tearful girl cry. He had not seen her ever since that day when he cried like a child. However, he wanted to see her cry. He didn't just want to see Lian 'er smile happily, he also wanted to see Lian' er cry and be angry.
He wasn't afraid of his Lian 'er crying because he would definitely be by his side to coax him to smile. He would wait for him to show a happy face. Only a Lian' er who could cry and laugh was his true happiness.
Wake up! Lian 'er, don't leave me. You said you would wait for me for a lifetime. I will watch you cry, coax you to smile, and hold your hand for a lifetime. This time, I won't let go. As long as you're willing to wake up and look at me, you can scold me for being stupid or hate me for being stupid, as long as you wake up.#
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。