He had been in this city for four years, and this was his first time going out ever since he stepped on the train to this place in the early morning. He did not know what the future held, nor did he think about what he would face. He just came.
At that time, he was accompanied by a few childhood sisters who had been away for many years. He heard from them that the world outside was very exciting. There were high-rise buildings, beautiful neon lights, wide roads, all kinds of fun and delicious food... Of course, there was also an opportunity to earn money in the big city.
In this new era, she received the only nine years of compulsory education that the policy had given her. Primary school and junior high school, in fact, added up to eight years. In her remote village, there were only five years of primary school and three years of junior high school. She liked going to school and everything described in the books. She knew Grimm's fairy tales and knew that fairy tales were ultimately fairy tales, but she still liked them.
She didn't know much. It was just that she had experienced things that no one else had experienced. Perhaps to him, Lin Mu, it had never happened. He had never even dreamed of it.
When she was ten years old, her father worked as a small worker in the construction team and lost his life in an accident. She heard from the villagers that he slipped into the river and was never found again. She often went to the river where her father's life was taken and sat alone. She stared blankly at the turbulent river and sat there for an entire day.
She heard from her grandmother that her mother had suffered a massive loss of blood when she gave birth to her. At that time, there were no proper hospitals or doctors, so she could only watch her mother leave. When her grandmother told her about this, she saw tears flowing from her grandmother's eyes. She did not cry because she did not have many memories. She was only staring at a yellowed photo. Her grandmother said that it was a photo of her mother. In the photo, her mother would always be eighteen years old, innocent and beautiful, with a sweet smile on her lips.
Her grandmother's house was not far from her own home. There was a mountain between them. The mountain stretched and rose. It took more than an hour to cross the mountain. When she was in primary school, she would walk once a day. She did not think it was far, but she felt that it was unfamiliar.
Grandma was a typical peasant woman. She did not know much about culture, but she still had her own views. Her words always carried a kind of prophecy. It did not make people feel the same, but it came true every time. She had to sigh at what was called the accumulation of time. Many things would only be remembered after experiencing it. Why did she not remember it every time before she set off? Lin Chen's heart was tearing up. She was a strong girl, but her petite face did not show much expression. She was still quiet. She had lived with her grandmother since she was young, which had made her and her grandmother closer. Of course, many things were too close, so she had to endure more pain. For example, her only grandmother had left her. It was as if a part of her memories had been taken away, leaving an empty space in her heart. That kind of despair made her shudder.
When he was 18, his grandmother passed away. It was his first year in this city. He could still clearly remember the night before he left home. His grandmother was mumbling to the heavens, tears flowing from the corners of her eyes. Of course, her grandmother did not let Lin Chen see her cry. Lin Chen walked forward a few times, but his grandmother avoided him. However, Lin Chen knew that his grandmother was crying. Seeing this, Lin Chen did not force her anymore. At that time, his heart felt like it was being washed away by a torrent. Lin Chen swore in his heart that he would buy a beautiful coat for his grandmother for the new year.
Time had passed, what was left? Every time he felt lonely, Lin Chen would think of his grandmother. That kind grandmother, of course, would cry secretly.
The news of her grandmother's death was also found out through her uncle. That uncle was only addressed as " uncle ". He was an idle worker who did not do his job properly. No one knew where he went in the end. Her grandmother was also heartbroken. Although she always said that she did not have this son, she was more worried than anyone else.”His grandmother had once lamented that Lin Chen hated him to the core because she had nothing left! And he still has his mother, my grandmother! But what about him?
From the first day she set foot in this city, her path was destined to be different. The education she received stopped because she failed the middle school examination. In order not to give her grandmother pressure, she gave up her studies." I don't like to go to school, and I'm not suitable for it. I'm not smart enough!”Lin Chen told his grandmother this, but she didn't say anything. She just looked at Lin Chen quietly with a helpless look in her eyes. Maybe her grandmother blamed him, or maybe there was something else. Lin Chen knew that his grandmother didn't want to give up, but when he said those words, the road ahead stopped. Lin Chen knew that those words couldn't be changed or taken back. Until now, Lin Chen still felt that he didn't do anything wrong. Although he hurt his grandmother, once was enough. He didn't think it was too much.
Grandma did not have much ability. She relied on a few acres of barren land to grow some vegetables and wheat. After preparing what she wanted to keep at home, she sold all the excess wheat. Her days of relying on the heavens seemed to have no end, but Grandma continued to do so year after year. Lin Chen had seen it since he was young and remembered it in his heart. However, at that time, Lin Chen did not know what to do. Sometimes, he regretted his lack of ability. Unlike other children who went out to work early to earn money to go home for the New Year, Lin Chen secretly competed to study hard. But in the end, he gave up. Lin Chen's grades had always been at the top of her class. She had been studying day after day with her tenacity, hoping to change everything. In order to get into the best high school, she had staked everything on it. However, God did not give her the chance and she failed! Although Lin Chen was serious enough, he still failed because his school had never been able to get into the best high school. Perhaps it was because of the quality of teaching, but in the end, he failed. His grandmother was old and couldn't do much anymore, and he had to take responsibility, even if it was a small one. Lin Chen thought about the future sadly, but he still felt lost.
At that time, she was 16 years old (she started school at the age of eight, and because of family reasons, she was a girl a year later than her peers) but still chose to give up. It was a big deal for her. When she was seven years old, she watched others carry their school bags to school, and she had to help her father carry the Nepenthes. How could she not want to? It was not until she was eight years old that she started to enter school. She cherished it so much, but there were some things that she could not solve on her own. When she gave up studying, she cried.
When she was ten, her father left and she lived with her grandmother. That was her only family. How could she not want to repay her grandmother as soon as possible? Time would not stop. When death came, no one could stop it. It was the only thing that cut off the deep kinship and left an eternal sorrow.
Without any regrets, she stopped her studies and helped her grandmother with the farm work. A few of her playmates from the same village who had been away for a few years told her about the outside world and the opportunities to earn money. She was tempted and wanted to help her grandmother more. Gradually, she had the intention to go out, but she did not say it out loud. She knew that her grandmother would not agree. Moreover, she was still young and not old enough to work. Therefore, she could not go out for the time being. She could only silently maintain that dream and wait for the right opportunity in her heart. It was like watching others carry their schoolbags to school. One day, she would earn money to buy new clothes for her grandmother for the New Year.
The time had finally come, and she had successfully arrived in this big city where she had once dreamed of making money. She thought that everything was so simple, but she was wrong. She once thought back to her life with her grandmother and believed that her grandmother also thought about her, but she still persisted in her dream. From a waiter to a salesperson, she had slept on a park chair and curled up in a garbage station for the night, but she still did not give up. Her strength was unquestionable, but no one saw her tears.
That day, she went to work and got off work as usual. She curled up on the small bed in the basement alone. It was still snowing heavily on the ground, and she was curled up under the blanket alone. She thought of her grandmother, that thin and small relative.
Lin Chen's landlord was an elderly couple. They usually had nothing to do. Occasionally, they would go grocery shopping and walk around together. They did not interact much with the people around them. Lin Chen knew that this was the rule of the city. Everyone did not reveal much of their true feelings. When he first came here to work, Lin Chen finally found a cheap place, which was in the basement. His other companions did not agree, but Lin Chen insisted on staying here, hoping to save more money. The old couple could tell what Lin Chen was thinking, so the price was reasonable. Lin Chen was very grateful to the old couple. They would occasionally chat with each other on the way to and from work. The old couple had a good impression of Lin Chen. They helped Lin Chen with everything, such as daily necessities, headaches, fever, and colds. The old couple had helped Lin Chen a few times. Lin Chen, who had lacked a family since he was young, naturally had a good impression of the two old people. They were the only comfort he had in this huge city.
The landlord's surname was Li, and the landlady's surname was Qi. The old couple came to the big city from a remote place at the request of their son. However, their son went abroad later, and now the old couple could only talk to their son over the phone. Lin Chen had heard it from Aunt Qi."If only I could bring Grandma to the big city. Even if I have to rent a house, I have to let Grandma live in a building!”
On that day three years ago, Lin Chen lowered his head as he walked towards the damp underground room. The gray sky seemed to be deliberately painting something. Lin Chen curled up under the blanket as the sky gradually darkened. Lin Chen was not in the mood to eat, not to mention that it was snowing. His heart was filled with the shadow of his grandmother, and he was secretly sad.
"Little Chen!" The landlady knocked on the door and called out," Is Xiao Chen here? " Xiao Chen…" The landlady called out anxiously. She was curled up under the blanket in a daze and took a while to react before she got up. She casually put on a coat and walked towards the door. Lin Chen was in a bad mood. Of course, he was acting strangely today. If it was any other day, Lin Chen would have replied to the landlady and quickly opened the door, but he just couldn't muster up any energy today." Is the child here or not?" "Little Chen…" Lin Chen heard the landlady talking to herself.
"Auntie Qi! "I'm here," Lin Chen replied and opened the door to let Auntie Qi in.
"Your family gave you a call! "Hurry up and answer the call. I think something's up…" Aunt Qi looked anxious as she urged Lin Chen to take the phone. She stood nervously at the side.
"Hey!" Lin Chen asked politely in Mandarin. It was a careful greeting.
"You are Chen 'er?" A middle-aged man's voice sounded on the other end of the phone. His voice had a hint of his hometown accent. It was not difficult to hear that there was a hint of sadness in his voice, but there was also an inexplicable anger. Lin Chen replied blankly,"Yes, and you are?" When Lin Chen heard the call, he started to mutter in his heart," Who was it? Why was he speaking in his native language? Lin Chen's heart began to waver, and it slowly swelled up like a raging wave hitting the shore.
"I…I'm your uncle!" The other party's voice came intermittently. There was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. Lin Chen was shocked. Why would an uncle whom he had never seen appear? Why is there my number? Why are you calling me? Everything became complicated. Lin Chen's heart started to feel numb, and the expression on his face became confused. He suddenly thought that only his grandmother had a phone number here. Today, his so-called uncle called. Did something happen to his grandmother? Lin Chen's heart trembled. Lin Chen tried his best to control his emotions, but that inexplicable impulse attacked Lin Chen's heart wantonly. He didn't know when it would explode.
Aunt Qi saw the change in Lin Chen's expression and started to whisper," What happened?···”Aunt Qi was also puzzled. Lin Chen had always been a quiet but sunny girl in her heart. Her expression today really puzzled Aunt Qi.
"Your grandmother passed away!" Lin Chen's mind went blank when the other party said those words. His entire mind went blank and all his nerves started to disappear. He couldn't feel anything and didn't know what expression he should have. After a few seconds, Lin Chen's tears poured out like a flood. He held the phone tightly to his ear and his entire arm was tense. Lin Chen knew that his dear grandmother had left.
That night, Lin Chen had insomnia. Aunt Qi comforted him for a long time. Lin Chen told Aunt Qi that he was fine and that he was fine. Aunt Qi also comforted Lin Chen and said that everything was natural. Lin Chen knew that life and death were fate, but he didn't want to be his grandmother. When Aunt Qi saw that Lin Chen was fine, she thought that she should let Lin Chen be alone. Therefore, she walked out of the dark basement. When she was about to walk out of the door, she turned around and instructed Lin Chen,"If you need anything, just look for me. I'll do my best to help your child.”
"Thank you, Auntie Qi!" Lin Chen said to Auntie Qi with a tearful smile. However, that smile made her heart ache. Auntie Qi sighed and walked out of the basement, leaving Lin Chen alone.
It was a long and cold night. Lin Chen curled up under the blanket and thought of his beloved grandmother. Tears blurred his eyes and his face was covered by tears that he could not suppress. Lin Chen felt that he was the only one in the world. The night was frighteningly dark and quiet. Why couldn't he give his grandmother more time? Why didn't God give his amiable grandmother more chances? Why couldn't good people get any love from God? Why was it always so cruel? Why were his family members in such a hurry? There was nothing he could do. Lin Chen felt a lot of resentment in his heart as he waited alone for dawn.
Perhaps it was because he had been crying for too long and was tired, Lin Chen fell asleep unknowingly. Perhaps it was better this way. He could escape from reality a little and perhaps his heart could be comforted a little.
" Grandma was standing at the dilapidated door and looking at the road leading to the mountain. She seemed to be waiting for something. Her face was dyed red by the golden sunset, and she looked different from afar. When Lin Chen saw Grandma, he started running and calling for Grandma. When Grandma saw him, a smile appeared on her face. Grandma's footsteps were trembling, but she still rushed towards him. Lin Chen could not hide the joy in his heart. He smiled and hugged Grandma, but for some reason, he said, He couldn't find anything. His grandmother wasn't in his arms. Lin Chen looked around as if he had lost something. He shouted for his grandmother…Grandma…He was looking for her anxiously. He didn't know when his grandmother was standing at the door again, still looking at the road leading to the outside world. Lin Chen was instantly happy to find his grandmother. He picked up his luggage and ran towards which house. Grandma had already prepared a table of food. Lin Chen called out to his grandmother, but her grandmother didn't answer. Lin Chen stood at the door for a long time. After a long time, his grandmother sighed and said that she was leaving. She was going somewhere far away. Lin Chen stood up and asked her where she was going, but her grandmother smiled and said nothing. Slowly, her grandmother left Lin Chen. Lin Chen quickly ran after her grandmother. He ran fast enough and used all his strength, but he could not catch her grandmother. When her grandmother disappeared into the sunset, Lin Chen continued to run and called for her grandmother, but he could not find her anymore. Lin Chen cried until his face turned red. He ran towards the sunset in his hometown, crying and shouting. The sky suddenly darkened, and Lin Chen called out to his grandmother in the terrifying darkness…"
Lin Chen woke up with a start. It was a dream, but what was the difference between a dream and reality? It was a blur. Whether it was a dream or reality, they were both cruel. Lin Chen couldn't tell the difference between a dream and reality, and he didn't want to. He just hated it all.
It was still late at night. Lin Chen's face was swollen from crying for too long. His eyes were red, but tears were still flowing out. Lin Chen decided to go home tomorrow and see his grandmother for the last time. However, his grandmother could no longer speak, see him, or cook for him…Lin Chen's head turned black when he thought of this. He could only cry and wait helplessly for the sun to shine, hoping that the day would come soon.
It was destined to be a sleepless night. Lin Chen tossed and turned in bed, clutching the blanket to suppress the grief in his heart. However, he could not control his feelings. That was his only family, his only motivation. But now, what was left?
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