To whom do I say I love you?
45 Reprimand shamelessness, anger, consideration for the big picture, swallow one’s anger

Sha Fuping

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The sky was very dark, darker than a coal mine. The motorcycle's lights barely tore a hole in front of them. The motorcycle moved forward in this narrow hole. As the car passed by, the darkness behind it immediately closed. Zheng Qinglan was actually very afraid of walking on this road. Although what he told Yaya about walking at night was true, he had actually walked on tenterhooks. That night, he had even prepared to fight with bad people and wild animals. He had been nervous and numb many times along the way. Fortunately, there were no bad people or wild animals on that road. If there really were, with Zheng Qinglan's appearance at that time, by the time he reacted... They might have lost long ago. He did not think of fear tonight. He was already numb to these things. He only had one thought in his mind, to find Shang Liu Xin as soon as possible and see what she was doing. He had no idea how or where to look for her. He didn't know which dance hall Shang Liu Xin had entered, nor did he know who she had interacted with.

Nearly two hours later, Zheng Qinglan arrived at her house. He got out of the motorcycle and stumbled. He had been riding the motorcycle for too long and was cold. His legs were completely numb. He stomped his feet, and his feet felt numb. After calming down, he held onto the stairs and slowly walked up. He opened the door and went straight to the bedroom. He turned on the light, but there was no one on the bed. Zheng Qinglan's heart was as cold as her body. No, it was colder than her body. He turned around and walked to the living room. He sat down on the sofa and did not want to move at all. Suddenly, he heard a sigh. Could it be…He felt his scalp go numb. He subconsciously grabbed the chair beside him, but his ears were nervously catching the subtle sound. Alas, he heard it again. It was coming from Yaya's room. Could she be in Yaya's room? Zheng Qinglan went to the kitchen and took a knife. She walked quietly to Yaya's room and put her ear on the door to listen for any movement inside. After listening for a while, she heard the sound of someone turning over inside. She opened the door and turned on the light immediately. She focused her mind and looked at the bed. It was Shang Liu Xin lying on the bed. Shang Liu Xin's face was facing the fluorescent light. When the fluorescent light was turned on, she should have reacted instinctively, but she didn't move. Zheng Qinglan walked to the bed and saw Shang Liu Xin's disheveled hair, ashen face, and cracked lips. Zheng Qinglan lifted the blanket and only managed to lift it up a little. Seeing that Shang Liu Xin hadn't even taken off her coat, Zheng Qinglan wanted to lift it up a little more, but Shang Liu Xin held onto it tightly. Zheng Qinglan tugged on it a few times, but it didn't budge at all. Obviously, Shang Liu Xin knew when Zheng Qinglan entered the room. If it was any other time, she would have said something.

"What have you been doing these past few days? Why aren't you home today?”

Shang Liu Xin ignored him, turning her back to Zheng Qinglan. Zheng Qinglan was furious. She grabbed the blanket and pulled it off Shang Liu Xin's body. Shang Liu Xin, who had always been hot-tempered, actually didn't make a sound at this time, lying on her side without moving. Her abnormal behavior made Zheng Qinglan's thoughts grow stronger. Something incredible must have happened. It was obvious what it was. However, he did not want to force it on others before he completely understood the situation. He asked coldly,

"Where have you been these past two days? Why didn't you go home?”

"I'm doing something." Shang Liu Xin indifferently replied.

"I know you're doing something. You're not sleeping at home like this. I'm asking you, what are you doing?”

"To see the boss."

"Liar, a complete lie. Do I need to see the boss for a few days? Shouldn't I go home after seeing you? You have never been like this before. You have already used your own actions to prove that everything you say is a lie. Tell me, why are you doing this? The whole family was waiting for you to come back. I didn't expect you to do something shameful outside.”

"Nonsense." Shang Liu Xin immediately sat up, pointing at Zheng Qinglan and said sternly,""You have to be responsible for what you say. Did you see what I did?”

"I didn't see it, but I can imagine it. Don't think that you're so smart. It's as if no one knows what you've done. In fact, you've already told me with your actions. You shameless thing. I really didn't expect you to be so shameless.”

"Yes, I'm a shameless woman, but don't you know how well you've done? You've never put me in your heart. Have you ever said anything nice to me? Every time I go out on the street, you're anxious to shake off my hand that's pulled down by you. You're afraid that I'll embarrass you. Even if I talk to you at home, you'll ignore me. I'm a woman, your wife. I'm not here to see your face.”

"Honey, you're so nice. Do you take me as your husband? Have you ever said anything nice about me? Don't you always say whatever you want? You can belittle me and insult me however you want. Whose wife is like you?”Zheng Qinglan wasn't 100% sure that Shang Liu Xin was cheating on him. He was just testing her reaction.

"What do you mean by fooling around?”Her tone was obviously much weaker, which indirectly proved that Zheng Qinglan was right. Boundless anger and unspeakable humiliation made Zheng Qinglan lose her mind. She raised her hand and slapped Shang Liu Xin's face. With a pa sound, the left side of Shang Liu Xin's face turned red as if it was about to bleed. Shang Liu Xin did not retaliate, she only shouted hoarsely: "You hit me, you hit me, just kill me.”Zheng Qinglan hated Shang Liu Xin so much that he wanted to strangle her to death. However, he didn't completely lose his mind. He knew that this matter couldn't be done, and he had to resolve it in the shortest time possible. He couldn't help but regret that this slap was too heavy. If Shang Liu Xin's face was swollen, how could she face others? If she didn't go back for the New Year, not only would it be hard for him to explain to his family, he would also be hard to explain to Shang Liu Xin's family. It was a choice to fight to the death, but it was too cruel for the two families to make such a choice at this moment of reunion. It was better to endure it if possible, so he gritted his teeth and said,"Why don't you go wash your face? Why do you want me to serve you?”

Shang Liu Xin suddenly sat up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. After a while, she came to Zheng Qinglan with a wet towel and said angrily,""Zheng Qinglan, look at what you've done. It's a real slap mark that hasn't disappeared yet. Don't think that I don't have a family. If I tell them, they'll come after you.”

Zheng Qinglan sneered and said," Okay, go back and tell them. You'd better tell them everything that happened these days. I don't believe it. Is there any reason in this world?"”

"No matter how wrong I am, I shouldn't have hit you. Moreover, I shouldn't have hit you so hard.”

"In the past, the good things you did were either drowned in a pig cage or drowned in a pond. Slapping you is already considered light. Tell me honestly, where have you been these past two days?”

"Running around, how could I remember where I went?”

"In two days, it's a small county. You can't remember where you went. Even if you find an excuse, you have to find a better one. Will others believe your excuse? This can only mean one thing. You don't even dare to say what you've done in the past two days.”

"I'm too lazy to tell you. It's a waste of breath to tell you. I'm telling you, I won't go back with you.”

"If you don't go back, where are you going?"

"It's none of your business."

"No, you have to go back."

Shang Liu Xin coldly laughed," Hmph, why should I listen to you?”

"You and I are not the only ones in this world. There are others behind us. If you don't go back, what will your family think? Do you still want them to have a good New Year?”

"I can't even care about myself. How can I care about others?”

"Even if you don't care about me or yourself, you have to take care of your parents, right? Your parents have been busy in the fields all year round, working hard to raise you. Not to mention how much you have to repay them, it's only right to let them have a happy new year. Ya Ya has been waiting for you at home every day. Her grandmother said that she wanted to cook ribs for her to eat, but she insisted on not making it and wanted to wait for you to go back to eat together. These two days, she has been urging me to pick you up at the fork in the road every day. In two days, we went there three or four times, and each time we had to wait for an hour. Today, we waited there for an hour or two and didn't see your shadow. She wants to come out with me to look for you again. Do you want her to spend the new year in disappointment and anxiety? Think about it. Think about your family. Let's see who you're letting down by doing this.”

Shang Liu Xin didn't say anything. She let out a long sigh that was mixed with a deep sob. Hearing this long sigh, Zheng Qinglan's heart softened. After Shang Liu Xin was done bathing, he took out the candy and said,"Eat this for dinner." Shang Liu Xin didn't even look at him. She walked past him and entered Ya Ya's room. Zheng Qinglan didn't care about her. She drank some water and ate a few pieces of candy. Then, she washed herself and lay down on her bed. The anger in his heart still hadn't dissipated. It was stuck in his chest, making him feel stuffy and nauseous. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He lifted the blanket, took off his shoes, and ran to the bathroom. He squatted there and retched. Tears flowed out of his eyes, but he didn't vomit anything. He rinsed his mouth with water and returned to bed, panting. He leaned against the headboard of the bed with a dead heart. It wasn't until the second half of the night that he couldn't rely on her anymore that he took off his clothes and went to sleep.

The next morning, Zheng Qinglan woke up at five o'clock. Seeing that it was still dark outside, he lay on the bed for a while. He thought that it was New Year's Eve today and his family was still waiting for them to go back for the reunion dinner. Even though he was still dizzy, he still got up and went to Shang Liu Xin's bed. He said softly,"Get up. Get something to eat so we can go back.”Shang Liu Xin didn't say anything. Just like yesterday, she let out a long sigh. Zheng Qinglan urged her again," Get up quickly." Then, she slowly sat up and put on her clothes. She didn't even look at Zheng Qinglan. Zheng Qinglan saw that her face had returned to normal after being slapped yesterday. He couldn't see anything on her face, but he didn't know what she was thinking. " Such a thing deserves to be killed," Zheng Qinglan thought.

Zheng Qinglan stood in front of the glass window on the balcony and looked outside in a low mood. She guessed that Shang Liu Xin was almost done washing up, so she went to the kitchen to cook two bowls of noodles. He put one bowl on the dining table and took the other one to eat in the kitchen. After washing the dishes, she saw that Shang Liu Xin had already washed up and was packing her things. Zheng Qinglan said,"Eat the noodles."

Shang Liu Xin coldly replied,"I don't eat."”

"Then let's go."

Shang Liu Xin didn't answer. Zheng Qinglan took the motorcycle keys and went downstairs. He pushed the motorcycle out and stepped on the accelerator. The motorcycle made a loud noise. His father had told him that the new car was still in the running-in period, so he couldn't run too fast or drive the accelerator too hard, but now he wanted to hear some harsh sounds.

Shang Liu Xin got off the car but didn't get in. She walked past Zheng Qinglan. Zheng Qinglan rode her bike and followed. They walked to a deserted place and Zheng Qinglan parked the car beside Shang Liu Xin. She asked,""What exactly do you want?"

"It's none of your business."

"I've already told you everything I need to say yesterday. If you don't listen, I'll go straight to your house now and tell your parents about what happened in the past two days. I won't care about you anymore. From now on, we'll go our separate ways and have nothing to do with each other anymore.”

"I'll take responsibility for what I did. Why are you dragging my parents into this?”

"What should I say if they don't see you during the New Year?”

Shang Liu Xin stood there, not leaving or speaking.

"Let's go back." After a while, Shang Liu Xin finally got on the motorcycle. Zheng Qinglan could feel that she had intentionally distanced herself from him and tried to sit at the back of the motorcycle. He hoped that she would do the same. He didn't want her to be too close to him.

When he returned home, everyone was busy with their own things. When Zheng Qinglan and Shang Liu Xin entered the house, none of them knew. Shang Liu Xin entered her room and threw her bag on the bed. She then lay on the bed without saying a word. Zheng Qinglan followed her in and said,""You're back home. There are old and young at home. You should at least greet them. What are they going to think if you hide in your room like this?”Shang Liu Xin stood up and walked into the kitchen. The kitchen was filled with mist. There was a steamer in the pot near the inside. The food inside had already been steamed and emitted a strong fragrance. The pot outside had been washed clean. It would be used to stir-fry later. On the chopping board, there were bowls and plates filled with lean meat and fish. The fire in the stove was burning brightly. The light of the fire reflected the surrounding red, and the stove made banging sounds from time to time. Zheng Qinglan's mother was busy running around in circles. She looked up and saw Shang Liu Xin entering the kitchen. She said with a smile,""Liu Xin, you're back. You must be cold. Let's go to the fire pit to roast first. By the way, have you seen Ya Ya? She just asked me when you would be back. She wanted to put up couplets with her father.”

"I didn't see her. I don't care about her. She's already a big child. She won't get lost. Is there anything I can help you with?”

" There's nothing much to do. What needs to be steamed has already been steamed, and what needs to be fried has already been cut. Go and see Ya Ya. She talks about you at home every day and keeps urging her father to pick you up. You're so lucky to have raised a smart, beautiful, and sensible girl.”

Shang Liu Xin walked out of the kitchen to look for Ya Ya, but she heard Ya Ya complaining about her father.""Dad, why didn't you honk when you came back so that I could come out and welcome you?”

"I forgot to honk to inform you. It was too cold, so I rushed into the house to warm up.”

"Dad, you really are. I thought you would be very happy to bring Mom back and honk the horn as soon as you got home. Who knew that you would forget? If you knew, I should have reminded you.”

"Daddy is forgetful. I won't dare to do it again.”

"Ya Ya." Shang Liu Xin called out.

" Mom!" Ya Ya called out as she ran over and grabbed Shang Liu Xin's arm." Mom, why did you only come back today? Dad and I went to pick you up twice, but we didn't get you. Dad went to pick you up a few times by himself, but we didn't get you."”

"Mom didn't finish something, so she came back after she finished.”Shang Liu Xin said. Zheng Qinglan turned around and went into the kitchen.

"Mom, why do I feel that you're different from usual?”

"How is it different?"

"You're always smiling, but you don't look happy today.”

"I froze the muscles on my face on the road just now and can't smile anymore.”Zheng Qinglan came out of the kitchen with a bowl of rice soup." Yaya, let's put up the couplets."”

"Okay, Dad. Same old rules. I'll be your assistant and help you get the couplets and the door god. You brush the rice soup and you stick it.”

"When will Daddy be your assistant?”

"When I grow up, you'll be my assistant.”Zheng Qinglan was amused by Yaya's words.

"Ya Ya, hurry up with your father. The food is ready. We'll have our reunion dinner at twelve o'clock sharp.”

"Okay, Grandma. I know. Daddy, hurry up and post. Grandma is urging you. Dad, look at this 'Red makeup tied with a knot of one heart, green trees blooming with lotus'. It must have been pasted on your and Mom's door.”

"How?"

"You want to test me again? Don't these 'knot of one heart' and 'lotus flower' refer to husband and wife? I know these things, you can't test me, hehe.”

"Put this one here first and stick it at the end.”

"Why? Didn't they always stick it from the inside to the outside in the past?”

"Let's see if there's anything more suitable later.”

"No way. Isn't the number of couplets you write fixed every time? You can't possibly stick the couplet from the kitchen on the door, right? It would be strange if it didn't make people laugh their heads off. Hahaha, I'm laughing my head off now.”

Zheng Qinglan also smiled." This is a bit old-fashioned. It's written like this every year. There's nothing new about it. We need to change it."”

"Dad, this is such a good poem. It's elegant and festive.”

"Let's stick the others up first. Look, it's almost twelve o'clock. Grandma will rush you again later.”

The father and daughter had a tacit understanding of the couplet, so they were very efficient. In ten minutes, they had already pasted the couplet on the pig pen door, the cow pen door, and even the chicken house door with two narrow red notes.

"Daddy, it's time to put up the one on your and mommy's door.”

"I want to change to another one. Dad is not considered young anymore. These contents can be used on very, very young people, but it doesn't seem suitable for us.”

"I'll ask my mom if it's suitable.”

"Don't ask her. She won't understand even if you ask her.”

"That's not it. Doesn't my mother study every day? She's about to get her diploma. Dad, you'll have to look at my mother in a new light.”

"Let's not talk about this anymore. It's a few minutes away from midnight. Wash your hands and eat the reunion dinner.”As he spoke, he placed the bowl of rice soup in a secluded place, folded the couplet and stuffed it into a corner, and instructed Ya Ya,""I'll write it after dinner. Don't tell your mother.”"Even if I didn't say it, she would have found out. All the other doors have been pasted, except for yours. It's too conspicuous.”"Don't worry about it. Just don't say anything.”"Alright then."

When Shang Liu Xin brought the dishes to the table, she realized that there was no couplet on her door, so she asked,""Why isn't there a couplet on this door?”

" It's time for the reunion dinner," Zheng Qinglan said." Let's eat first. We'll stick to it after we eat."”

When all the dishes were served, Zheng Qinglan's father poured a cup of water and walked around the table. As he walked, he sprinkled hot water on the four corners of the table and chanted. The general idea was to invite the ancestors of the Zheng family to come back for the New Year and bless the future generations of the Zheng family to be safe and happy. After praying, he said," release the whip." Zheng Qinglan lit firecrackers outside. When the whip was ignited, Zheng Qinglan quickly ran back into the house. Ya Ya smiled and said,"My father is getting more and more timid. He's even afraid of being whipped.”"Then can you whip me next year?" "I'll let them go. I'm not afraid." "Let's talk about next year. Let's eat. The ancestors have eaten. It's our turn to eat. Grandpa and grandson are of the same age. Ya Ya, you and Grandpa sit at the top seat, and I and your parents sit on the sides. The bottom seat is empty. Our family used to have a full table during the New Year. In the past few years, two of them got married. The old lady left, and the table was full of people. In the past, it was said that the more people there were, the better the farming. The fewer people there were, the better the New Year would be. Now that there were fewer people, the New Year was not lively anymore.”Zheng Qinglan's father said," Let's eat. Let's not talk about those things. Let's celebrate the New Year happily."”Zheng Qinglan said," The seats below are the best seats. It's a pity that they're empty. I'll take them."”"Dad, aren't the seats below the worst? How can they be good seats?”"According to the old rules, this seat is called the next seat. It's the second most important seat in this seat besides the one your grandfather is sitting on.”"Then what seat am I sitting in?”"Your seat is not bad either. These were the rules of the past, and they were not spoken of much now. Only when they were getting married did they pay attention to the seats.”

"Wow, you're so particular about a meal.”

"It's all the old rules. Some people in the countryside still follow the old rules. In the city, they don't follow these rules anymore.”

"It's better to order whatever you want to avoid trouble. In the past, when other people got married, it took a lot of effort to arrange seats. The boss was troublesome, and so was the customer.”

"Wow, there's such a thing? Why haven't I heard of it before?”

"It's the old rules. Many people don't need it. It's fine as long as you know what I'm telling you. There's no need to be so thorough.”

"No, I just think it's especially interesting.”

"Alright, after you finish eating, put it away and let Grandma tell you about these things. Let's eat. The dishes are getting cold."

"Dad, do you know about these things?”

"I know a little. I haven't used it for a long time and have almost forgotten it. If I were to talk about it, I really wouldn't be able to talk about it in a short time. Come, Dad, finish this cup. I'll pour you another one.”

"Alright, I'm happy today. Let's drink another cup. If you drink this cup, you won't want it. If you drink any more, you'll be drunk.”

Zheng Qinglan accompanied her father to drink a cup. She picked up the wine pot and poured a cup for her father. Her father refused to take it, so Zheng Qinglan poured another cup for herself. After drinking, her father said,""Let me pour you a cup."

Zheng Qinglan said," There's no such reason. It's only right for me to pour wine for you. How can you pour wine for me?"”

"Then let Ya Ya pour you some wine. Come, Ya Ya, pour your father a cup of wine.”

Shang Liu Xin wanted to say something, but she didn't. Ya Ya picked up the wine pot handed over by her grandfather and walked to Zheng Qinglan's side, saying,""Dad, I wish you a happy new year in advance. I'll pour you a glass of wine.”

"Yaya, when did you learn how to pour wine?" Zheng Qinglan asked with a smile.”

"No, I didn't learn it. Do I still have to learn how to pour wine?”She looked at the adults in confusion. Her appearance made the adults laugh.

" Thank you, Yaya," Zheng Qinglan said." I wish Yaya new progress in the new year. I wish our family peace and health in the new year!"”

After dinner, Zheng Qinglan wrote another couplet and pasted it on the door. After Yaya heard her grandmother talk about the customs of the countryside, she looked at what kind of couplet Zheng Qinglan wrote. She couldn't help but shake her head and say,"Dad, your couplet of 'getting rid of all old habits, five lectures and four beauties, and establishing a new style' is much worse than the one just now.”

"The words are a little bland, but they are quite realistic.”

"Be careful that my mom doesn't like it."

"She doesn't care about these things. When have you ever heard her raise any opinions in this regard?”

"That's true. She has a lot of opinions on other aspects, but she has never said anything about putting up couplets. Okay, Dad, you pass.”

"Yes, everything is ready. It's just a relaxed New Year. Do you still need to prepare anything?”

"What's there to prepare? I'm not an adult. I'll follow you wherever you go. There's nothing to worry about.”

"How's your homework? Bring it to me later.”

"There are only two math questions left. I'll do them immediately. I guarantee that I'll pass them in one go.”

"Alright, you go ahead and do it. I'll go write something too. We won't write in the same place and won't interfere with each other.”

"Can I read what you wrote?"

"Not today, but if there's a chance, I'll show you.”

"I'm doing my homework next to the fireplace. Where are you going to do it?”

"Don't worry about me. I'll find a place myself.”

Zheng Qinglan came to her room and saw Shang Liu Xin there. She took out a thick book washi pen. She found a quiet place outside and sat down. She laid the paper on the book. Even though she had a lot to say, the pen in her hand seemed to weigh thousands of pounds. She couldn't lift it up. He rested his elbow on the book and rested his forehead on his right hand. He fell into deep thought. After a long time, he seemed to have made up his mind. He picked up the pen, gritted his teeth, and began to write on the paper.

The weather on New Year's Eve was quite good. The sky was blue and looked particularly deep. The afternoon sun was even a little hot. Now that the sun had set a little, the sunlight seemed unusually soft. Zheng Qinglan looked at what she had just written and was covered in sweat. The wine that he drank at noon had been basked in the sun, making him feel as if there was a fire burning in his stomach. His mind was particularly active, and those distant and recent things appeared in front of his eyes one by one. What should I do? Even if he asked thousands of times, he still could not find the answer. The sun was about to set, and the air suddenly became cold. The chill hit his body. He put the things he wrote into the inner pocket of his cotton coat and walked back lazily. When he was about to reach home, he shook his head a few times and rubbed his face a few times to restore his expression to his usual appearance before entering the house. Shang Liu Xin saw that he had returned and asked,"I didn't see you for the entire afternoon, what did you do?"”"I was sunbathing outside and reading for a while.”

This book is provided by FunNovel Novel Book | Fan Fiction Novel [Beautiful Free Novel Book]

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