I am a technician in a small machinery factory. I am already over thirty years old and my monthly salary is only three thousand yuan.
Two years ago, my father suddenly fainted. He was hospitalized and spent all the family savings. He even sold my wedding house in the county town. My father finally survived, but he could no longer do heavy work and still needed my mother's care.
Because of the sale of the house, my wife almost divorced me. She begged me bitterly, but in the end, her heart softened and she followed me back to the countryside.
The family of four squeezed into three dilapidated old houses, but life still had to go on. Every day when I came home from work, I tried my best to do all the housework.
Because I feel guilty to my parents and my wife.
This year, the baby was born. It was supposed to be a happy thing, but I couldn't be happy.
My wife can't work while she's breast-feeding, my father needs someone to take care of him, my mother is old, and the child is crying for food. All the burdens of the family fall on me alone, and I only have 3,000 yuan a month.
With three thousand yuan, a family could still survive in the countryside. At least, they would not starve to death.
However, I never expected that my wife didn't have any milk. When I saw the child crying from hunger, I took all the money in the family to the county town and bought a box of Feihe Stage 1 milk powder. Although there might be problems with the domestic milk powder, I couldn't afford the imported milk powder.
The child finally stopped crying, but the four of us adults were dumbfounded because the family was already in dire straits. In the end, it was Mother who shamelessly went to borrow 1,000 yuan to survive.
That night, after my parents, wife, and children went to bed, I sat alone in the courtyard and cried. I thought of death.
Because I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. My monthly salary of 3,000 yuan was just enough to buy milk powder for the children. What would the four of us eat? I felt like a good-for-nothing. A good-for-nothing who couldn't even take care of his parents, wife, and children. What was the use of living?
I found a bottle of pesticide. Before drinking it, I went to the room to check on the baby. She seemed to be having a good dream. She smiled in her sleep. When I saw her smile, my tears flowed down.
I couldn't control it at all. You might not understand this feeling. I left the room, took the pesticide, and ran to the river to cry all night.
The next morning, when my mother found me, I was already full of white hair. My 30-year-old self had turned white overnight.
Watching my hair turn white overnight, my mother hugged me and cried, but my tears had already dried up.
He couldn't die. If he died, who would take care of his parents and raise the baby?
I comforted my crying mother and slowly helped her back home. Looking at my head of white hair, my old father cried. He said that he was useless and had let me down. It was better for him to die early. The whole family cried.
After crying, I adjusted my mood and continued to go to work. I still had to live, but God might really not want to give me a way out.
When I came back from work at night, I found that my wife was missing. I started to call her crazily, but I couldn't get through.
Three days later, she sent me a message."I'm sorry, I can't hold on any longer.”Since then, there had been no news of him. It had been almost three months now.
I felt that I would go crazy and burn down the old house. Then, my whole family would die together and I would no longer have to suffer in this world, but I didn't!
I silently endured everything. Now, I don't blame that woman anymore.
My mother took care of my father while taking care of the baby who had just turned one month old. I started to look for all kinds of ways to earn money like crazy. I believed in fate, but I didn't want to accept it.
In the past, I wrote a novel on the Internet. At that time, I brought myself a few hundred yuan. So, for the sake of my children, for my parents, and for the sake of this broken home, I began to write.
I went to work during the day and stayed up late at night to write articles. I revised them over and over again. I grabbed my hair and thought about the plot. I really wanted to smoke late at night, but because I didn't have money, I quit.
I work during the day and stay up late at night to write. I only sleep two to three hours a day. In a month, I've lost a whole 20 pounds. I'm already skin and bones!
When my mother saw me, she cried and said that she and my father didn't want to drag me down anymore. The sooner they died, the sooner I would be free. Every time this happened, I would kneel down and tell my mother firmly that if she dared to have such thoughts, the moment he and my father left, I would carry my child and jump into the river. If I had to die, my entire family would die.
The neighbors next door heard that I was writing novels online and called me a great writer when they met. I knew they were mocking me.
My parents didn't understand either. They said that you didn't even go to university, yet you can still write novels. You've already exhausted your body and don't write anymore. My old father even wanted to smash my computer with a walking stick. I knew that he must have heard the gossip in the village.
But I don't want to accept my fate. Even if no one in the world understands me, I don't want to accept my fate. This time, I'm betting my life. I'm betting my life. Why should I be afraid of the gossip in the village? Was he afraid of others 'contemptuous gazes?
Today, the editor told me that my novel could be sold for money. If the readers bought it, you might be able to earn money. I wasn't excited, I wasn't nervous, and I wasn't uneasy. I was betting on my life, so I'll let fate decide.
My tears have already dried up. I only hope that our family of four can survive.
Follow-up: Is there still justice? That woman had actually returned!
On November 23rd, the woman who had been missing for half a year returned. A man drove her back to the village. She was delusional about having children. I took a kitchen knife and chased the adulterous couple out.
On November 26th, I received a summons from the court. She has already filed a lawsuit to fight for custody of the child. She needs money to fight for the lawsuit, and our family is already in debt. She will definitely not give the child to her, even if she dies. Help me!
The above is my own tragic life…
Of course, it was purely…acting pitiful!
Brothers who read my books, work hard!
With 1,000 orders, I can update 10,000 words every day until the website goes bankrupt!
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