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There were always things in this world that people could not forget.
And the author was someone with such experience. Perhaps this experience is a kind of wealth. When I am old, it will be a precious thing to remember.
Speaking of why he had chosen the path of no return as an author.
It had to start from many years ago.
At that time.
I never thought that I would become an author. I used to think that life was very boring and boring.
The author spent half of his time writing every day.
The beautiful life outside was like something from another world. In addition, building any world required a lot of brain cells.
One could imagine how much hair an author had.
Alright then.
He seemed to have gone too far.
Let's talk about why I became an author. It was all because of a person, a person I probably won't forget for the rest of my life.
The first time she saw him was on the bus.
She had short hair, a fair face, and a sunny temperament. She was holding a cell phone in her hand. She sat down to read, stood up to read, and walked to read. I really wanted to remind this brother that a girl sitting with him had been paying attention to him for a long time, but he was so focused on his phone that I didn't want to disturb him.
Perhaps.
There must be something very important on the phone that attracted him.
I think so.
However…
When they got out of the car.
However, I realized that I was at the same stop as this boy. Standing side by side with him at the back door waiting to get off, I inadvertently glanced at him.
He was pleasantly surprised.
The image displayed on this boy's phone was extremely familiar to me.
"Do you also watch Battle Break?" I asked subconsciously. As soon as I asked this question, I regretted it.
With an unknown person.
Why did he have to talk to her? If he was misunderstood or ignored, how embarrassing would that be?
I'm a very self-abased person.
Therefore…
He was also very grateful.
Just when I thought that I would be ignored by the boy, he turned around and looked at me in surprise. He asked with uncertainty.
"Yeah, I'm watching Battle Break. Why, are you a girl watching it too?”
Hearing his question.
I let out a sigh of relief in my heart, but at the same time, my favorable impression of him also skyrocketed. I nodded vigorously in reply.
"I read it too. Who said that girls can't read it? Let me tell you, I read many similar novels. Oh right, where are you reading?”Because I was taller than him, I raised my head and looked down at him.
Perhaps he was not confident in his height.
He actually tiptoed and answered unwillingly.
"I saw the main character fuse with the Heavenly Flame. You might not know, but it's especially powerful.”
There was a kind of confidence in his words, as if he was certain that he could not see as far as he could. Yes, the speed at which girls read books was usually slower than boys.
But I'm different.
The corners of my lips curled up slightly as I said proudly," Why did you only see that? I saw it all…"
I don't remember what happened after that.
In short.
That's how I met him.
This was a boy who was usually quiet. Although he looked quiet and delicate, he still had a girlish feeling.
However, the facts proved it.
He was actually crazy.
When the few of them agreed to go out to play, he could not say a word for a day. However, if it was a date with someone he knew, he could talk to them for a day.
He looked at him talking non-stop.
Sometimes, I think about it.
He would look good in female clothes. Perhaps, he would be even more beautiful than female celebrities. That Gao Qiong nose and big eyes really make me envious.
"Why are you looking at me like that again?”
His strange gaze pulled me back from my thoughts.
In order not to let him know what I was thinking, I could only stick out my tongue and say to him," It's none of your business. It's none of your business what I think.”
Immediately after.
So I went somewhere else.
Time passed quickly.
My relationship with him has also become more and more solid. We're practically friends and brothers who talk about everything. Because we have the same hobby, reading web novels.
This was a hobby that many people looked down on.
However…
To us.
But web novels can bring us a lot of happiness. It's much more fun than those pretentious hobbies of theirs.
The days passed.
I will never forget it.
One day in two years.
It was probably on a rainy night. After dinner, he suddenly asked me out for a barbecue. Under the lights of the barbecue stall, he wanted to say something but hesitated.
I asked him several times if he had something to say.
He shook his head and handed me a string of large kidneys.
After three rounds of wine.
Perhaps the alcohol had made him a lot bolder. He suddenly raised his head and stared at me with unprecedented seriousness.
"What if I write a novel?”His voice was trembling.
There was more.
Some kind of emotion that I still don't quite understand.
"Are you crazy?"
"How can a normal person write novels?" You probably haven't even passed the essay test, right?”
"Oh."
After hearing my words, he only nodded and didn't say anything else.
In the following days.
I haven't seen him for about three months.
When they met again.
On the bus again.
Compared to his previous delicate appearance, his change almost made me unable to recognize him. It was as if he had completely changed into a different person.
Slight stubble, dispirited face…Is this really the same him that I envied to death when I was cross-dressing? How did he become like this?
I was very surprised.
There was a faint guess.
I heard that he really started writing novels.
My QQ autographs were all asking everyone to pay attention to my new book and so on. Could it be that writing a novel had turned him into what he was now? Yes, the authors didn't seem to care much about their image.
It was not accepted by the public.
"You…what a coincidence." He saw me on the bus.
It was a little awkward when they greeted each other.
I replied with a smile.
After some communication, we regained the feeling of being friends. When we talked, he wasn't as awkward as before.
They talked about his novel.
He told me to go and take a look, excitedly telling me that he would definitely crush the battle and trample mortals to death.
I couldn't believe it.
Hence, he decided to do it.
After returning home, I couldn't help but go and take a look.
I tried my best to read it for a whole day.
To be honest.
I really tried my best to continue reading, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get as engrossed as I was in other novels.
In the end.
I really had no choice but to give up. I actually really wanted to find a little bit of light in his book to attract me to continue reading while enduring the uncomfortable feeling.
However, it was regrettable.
I failed in the end.
His book.
As expected, it didn't become as popular as he had expected. In fact, they had not even been able to successfully sign the contract.
Perhaps this was the reason why he was so depressed.
After that incident.
We haven't contacted each other for half a year. His QQ status hasn't been updated, and his profile picture hasn't lit up. I don't know if he's invisible or not online.
Sometimes, she would think of him.
I would still think of his beauty in female clothing, as well as his slovenly appearance after writing the novel.
In the blink of an eye.
14 years passed.
I remember it very clearly.
It was June, when the summer was hot.
"Hey, XX, come out and sing."
The phone rang.
I was very surprised to receive his call. I could hear that he was very happy. No, it was a kind of pleasure. His tone infected me.
It made me feel inexplicably happy.
Could it be?
Did he win five million in the lottery? Or did his parents tell him that he was a winner in life? She thought of the high-spirited tone in his voice.
I couldn't help but imagine it all along the way.
This…
It was probably a common problem that everyone who read novels would have.
"Hahaha, do you know why I called you out to sing today?”
There was nothing wrong with him during the meal.
However…
Just like when he was eating the skewers.
After drinking some horse urine in the KTV, he switched to another personality. As she sang, she suddenly stopped.
He laughed maniacally. That's right, maniacally.
I can only find this adjective to describe his expression at that time. To be honest, even television celebrities were not as professional as he was when he swung his hand.
He was extremely arrogant.
There was an indescribable pride in his voice.
"Why?"
A group of friends and I who were called out by him were curious, so we asked him directly. Everyone's eyes were focused on him.
This…
It seemed to be the situation he wanted to see.
"Because my book has been signed. Haha, he signed the contract. It was seven. It was seven o'clock, the time when Potato and Third Young Master were both there. I've signed the contract!"
he said loudly into the microphone.
This was a shout of laughter.
However…
At that time, we didn't know anything about the online literature circle. We just looked around blankly and looked at each other. He did not know what signing a contract was.
It seems that signing a contract is very impressive?
I remembered some of the things that the author complained about in the novel.
He was unable to sign the contract for a long time.
From the looks of it, signing a contract was indeed very impressive.
"I've been writing for almost a year. It's almost a whole year. I've been writing every day. I don't do anything. I write every day. It's not easy."
There was a glint in his eyes.
I saw it clearly.
It was tears.
"Congratulations."
We either spoke sincerely or perfunctorily. He didn't seem to care about our attitude anymore. He was just talking to himself.
"I finally made it out. I finally signed a contract, hahaha. Do you know how difficult it is to sign a contract? Ninety-nine percent of authors can't even sign a contract…"
The boy said proudly,
He told us about his experiences over such a long time and complained about things that we could not understand at all. Although we don't understand it, it doesn't affect us at all.
Looking at his appearance.
I understand.
It was probably really difficult to sign a contract.
Before I could congratulate him, he suddenly cried without warning. He leaned on the table and cried as he spoke.
"I've finally signed the contract."
His voice was filled with sobs.
At this moment.
A friend suddenly sighed and shook his head at him." Wake up, stop dreaming. You'll never become a god."”
It was obviously not suitable to say such words in such an occasion.
However…
This friend was probably sincerely trying to persuade him to turn back. It was not a malicious mockery, but a comfort that came from the bottom of his heart.
Everyone looked at him.
He was confused.
"Actually, I really want to say that you're not a talented person. I heard that you've been writing novels for a long time. Did you only sign the contract today? I wrote a novel two years ago and signed a contract with the first one. I'm not trying to hurt you. I just want to say that you don't have talent. Don't dream of becoming a God. I gave up two years ago.”
As the friend lit a cigarette, he spoke.
After a long time.
“……”
We understand now. So signing a contract is not difficult…The gathering ended in such a heavy and awkward atmosphere.
After that.
Although he had suffered a huge blow.
Unexpectedly, he did not give up and continued to write the proposal.
What was even more surprising was that…
He seemed to have really succeeded.
I don't know if the book he signed on sold very well, but I feel that his temperament has changed. It's that kind of disdainful temperament that I've only seen in the main characters of urban novels. It's as if he doesn't care about anything. I've seen this kind of temperament from nouveau riche before.
He looked very much like Long Aotian.
"Yo, you got a Lotus King?"
I haven't seen him for a few months. He surprised me when I first saw him. It was completely different from before. It had a new style.
In high spirits.
"Hehe, long time no see. What have you been doing recently?”His smile was extremely natural. As he spoke, he actually carried a somewhat dignified taste.
However…
I always felt that he wasn't as flamboyant as before. He was deliberately keeping a low profile."Nothing much. My family found a job and I'm working now. What about you?"
"I'm writing a novel."
He shrugged his shoulders and answered me.
"Are you still writing?"
I was very surprised.
"Of course, one road leads to the end. How can a person give up so easily?"
"So you're a big writer now. How much do you earn a month?”
"Haha, not much. It's enough to feed myself."
“……”
After chatting for a long time, I really looked at him in a new light. I have a feeling that his novel has really succeeded and he should have made a lot of money.
I'm tempted too. I want to write a novel too.
But in the end, I still didn't have his boldness and couldn't write.
A few months later, 15 years had passed. At the end of the year, I received a call from him."Lend me five hundred yuan."
"You're still asking me for money? Great writer, I was planning to borrow it from you.”I was a little surprised.
"The royalties haven't arrived yet. I'll pay you back after the new year.”
“……”
I think that the him on the surface is not the real him, right? Did he really succeed?
In the summer of 2015, I suddenly had a sudden impulse to see what the environment of a great writer's creation was like. After informing him over the phone, I went to his house.
When I entered his bedroom at his invitation, I could clearly feel myself frowning subconsciously. A dark and damp smell assaulted his senses. The entire room was filled with the smell of smoke and some strange mixed smells. The curtains were drawn, and the entire room was dark. The computer was turned on, and there was a document on the interface. It was full of small words.
"Is this where you work?”
"Yeah, I realized that I don't like light anymore. I don't even turn on the lights at night now because I don't have any inspiration when the lights are on.”
I was a little worried.”
"Who cares? I'm still young. By the way, have you read my new book?"
I wanted to say that I had read it, but I was afraid that I would be exposed if he asked me about the plot, so I shook my head.
He was a little disappointed. He smiled and said,"Then you have time to take a look."”
"Definitely."
I looked at a photo on the computer screen."Your girlfriend? It's quite beautiful."
A blissful smile appeared on his face."Pretty, right? We've been together for two years."
"Is that so? Why didn't I know about this before?"
"I didn't tell you."
"She's so beautiful. She must have spent a lot of money, right?”
Speaking of this, he smiled bitterly and did not answer the question in the end.
August 8th, a day I will never forget.
My primary school classmate wants me to go to XX bar for her birthday.
Amidst the noisy music of the DJs, a large group of us drank to our heart's content.
His birthday classmate's surname was Liu, so he would call him Old Liu for the time being.
Old Liu pointed at the female dj wantonly and said,"That woman isn't bad?"
"Then why don't you ask him to accompany you?" We jeered.
Old Liu laughed and said disdainfully,""That's only good. You guys haven't seen the real best.”
Old Liu was a little drunk." Wait, I'll call you guys."”
In less than half an hour, three girls arrived. They seemed to be familiar with Old Liu. After greeting him, they sat down without any fear of strangers. The three girls are all very beautiful, but I keep feeling that one of them looks very familiar.
Maybe it was just an illusion…
My classmates are not honest. After chatting with each other, they started to get physical. The girls didn't dislike it either. They laughed and played with them. I could tell that these people should have a rich nightlife. I might not be able to blend in.
"I don't want to break up with him yet. I think he treats me quite well.”
"Then I'm not good, am I?"
The girl was pressed down by him. "Good to see you too."”
I finished a bottle of beer and felt depressed. Because I knew why she looked familiar. I saw her photo not long ago. This was the person who would smile whenever the man mentioned her.
"Don't come back tonight."
"Not going back where?"
"Your home, my home, Ru home."
"Then I have to give him a call. I have to call him every night at ten o'clock.”
"I'm jealous!"
"Haha."
The girl went out.
But now, I suddenly felt very uncomfortable."I have something to do, so I'll leave first."
"Hey, you…"
Outside the bar, I saw the girl outside the silent door. I only heard her say into the phone,"I'm at home, I'm going to sleep…"
I didn't go far. I stood on the curb and looked at the heavy traffic. I actually felt a sense of loss. I still called him,"Is your girlfriend called XXX?"
"Yes."
His voice was very low, so low that it surprised me.
"I want to tell you something."
"You don't have to say anymore. I'm right opposite you.”
I looked up. The man was sitting on the bus seat across the road with a phone in his hand, but he was looking at the bar behind me. Her eyes were slightly red, but there were no tears…
We had a long talk, and I felt sad for him.
That man had never succeeded. Everything he did in front of us was just an exaggerated appearance. When I thought that he had really earned a lot of money from writing books, his income for two months was actually less than my monthly salary.
He took a month's worth of royalties and gave it to the woman, telling her that it was one-third of his monthly income. That woman, on the other hand, had used his money to dress herself up and do things he did not know about at a place and time he did not know about.
I admit that he is a man, and only a man. It wasn't useless, but it wasn't outstanding at all.
That man had too much self-esteem.
When others scoffed at his dreams, he would slap his own face to prove that he was right. Actually, he knew better than anyone else whether he was right or not.
I found it a little ridiculous. Why was he so childish? I could never understand. What was a dream? Oh, a dream.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry because I had never seen such a childish man.
I haven't seen him since then.
Perhaps he still had a fair face and simple short hair. Perhaps it was the sparse stubble and the dispirited face.
This was an online author, a web author that he didn't know how to describe.
Perhaps he had started over. After two years of experience, he had never succeeded, but failure should have taught him how to be a human being, right?
He wanted to prove himself, but he didn't have the ability to do so.
That man was like a lonely ant with limited ability. He could only carry bits and pieces, but he insisted on building a nest where he wanted.
That man might succeed, but it was more likely that he would continue to fail. After all, if a man couldn't even protect a woman, what could he protect?
That man actually cried and said to me,
" In the past two years, my biggest dream was not some grand and magnificent ideal. In the past two years, I only wanted to succeed once. In these countless failures, I only wanted to succeed once. Just once, even if it was a small one…"
That man was afraid to see his own future. He wrote metaphysics novels, but he was afraid of metaphysics. He was afraid that metaphysics could really predict his fate, afraid that someone had really predicted his fate and told him in advance. Because he knew that he might still fail in the future. However, he did not want to know in advance, because that would not motivate him to work hard towards the slim hope of not failing.
That man always pretended to smile in front of his friends and family and always said that he was very good. However, only he knew that he had been suffering in secret. He didn't even dare to tell his family what the novel he wrote was called because he often revealed his true feelings in the novel. He was afraid that his family would see it. He was afraid of many things, but he was most afraid that his family would know the truth.
That man had forgotten about that woman. He had no love or hate in his heart. Right now, he only wanted to live on for himself and live a good life for himself.
The man swore for the umpteenth time," This time, he really had to succeed!!!
……
2021.9 June 6th, it was already the sixth year.
It was late at night.
I got out of bed and washed my face with cold water. I looked at myself in the mirror with a dark yellow face and sunken eyes. Imitating that man's bitter smile with pride. He said proudly.
"That man was me. Once upon a time, I hadn't changed my gender.”
He dried his face.
I took a deep breath.
A moment later.
He used his hand to type the last row of words on the keyboard.
"Actually, I made all of this up.”
……
Alright then.
It was all fake.
The main reason was that there was really nothing to complain about. Although life was difficult, I had chosen this path. No matter what, I had to continue walking down it.
He only hoped that he could have some money for the meal.
"I've put all my energy into my novel and meticulously completed it. My hope is that it can bring joy or passion to everyone. It will allow everyone to relax and obtain a short period of happiness after working and studying under intense pressure.
There were often people criticizing online novels.
They would flaunt some beautiful words, saying that these could bring the reader's soul to sublimation.
To be honest.
I usually don't pay much attention to these kinds of attacks. I don't like to fight back, and I don't want to discuss the soul sublimation effect of traditional literature.
Since it existed, it made sense.
Online novel.
To be able to live so well.
Naturally, they had the right to live. I just quietly wrote my article because my goal was very clear. It was to relieve everyone's tense nerves in this society where life was getting more and more stressful, just like many movies in the cinema.
Reaching this point was enough.
I'll be down-to-earth and let my work be tested by everyone. I'll really let the readers decide everything.
For this reason.
I've always tried my best.
Actually, with the development of online novels, with hundreds of thousands of people writing, it was inevitable that everyone would be tired of aesthetic appreciation. The fierce competition made the difficulty of writing online novels reach an unbelievable level. One in ten thousand people would be able to write online novels. The degree of fervor was much more exaggerated than traditional literature and martial arts.
Especially now.
The difficulty of writing had reached the peak.
The readers will feel tired.
It was very painful for an author to come up with a novel idea to satisfy the readers.
The things that he had just learned were eliminated. He ate instant noodles every day and could not see any hope at all.。。。Alright, I'm not pretending to be pitiful.
How should he put it?
My book is really very miserable.
Xiu had changed a lot of the plot…
However, it was definitely awesome!
As for the rest... it was all up to the quality of the work.
Today, the minimum starting point was five chapters! Then, he would update it one by one, at least ten times.
That's right, that's all!
His liver exploded!
This time, he was really going to explode!
As long as there were enough of them.
I will definitely update ten times every day so that everyone will feel comfortable and refreshed.
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。