Everyone lives in their destiny, including me.
Ever since I was young, I had always had a dream. A girl was holding an umbrella beside a small southern arch bridge. She stood with her back facing me, as if she was waiting for me. Every time I ran over and wanted to see her, she would either disappear or I would wake up from my dreams. For many years, this had become a mental illness for me.
I had always been certain that she existed. I wanted to find her. This was also the biggest reason why I became Mr. Yin Yang. Because this profession, through the Internet, allowed me to travel anywhere in the country.
However, the world is difficult. In my search for nearly ten years, I still have no clue.
Later, I asked my master about my dream. My master said," This is an obsession of your previous life. Since it's an obsession, you should let it go. If you're so persistent, you'll harm that person and you'll have to suffer great pain.”
"What pain?" I asked.
His master shook his head and said nothing more.
That night, I left Master's room and knelt in front of the door for the entire night. I knew that Master had not slept the entire night, or perhaps he knew what I was going to do.
When I left the next day, my senior brother sent me off and said to me," Master dotes on you. Don't use yourself as an exchange. You've already sacrificed ten years for your father. If you continue like this, you might…"
Master, are you worried that I'll use a ghost?" I asked.
The senior brother nodded and said," He knows your temper and can't change it. I can only bring him a note.”As he spoke, Shixiong passed me a letter and patted my shoulder before leaving.
I bid farewell to my senior brother and opened my master's letter. There were only eight words in it: " If we don't meet in life, we don't have to come in death!”
At that time, I didn't understand what Master meant. I thought that he saw that my obsession was too strong and didn't want to see me. In fact, that wasn't the case. Now, I already understand.
After leaving Master's place, I returned to my old home and signed a contract at the place where my father's birthday was exchanged. I hoped that I could use this method to find her.
The contract was signed. Actually, I didn't know how she appeared, but I was lost for more than a year. In the winter of the 16th year, my master passed away, but I didn't kowtow because of some family matters.
After another two or three months, someone added me on Weibo and asked,"Are you a Mr. Yin Yang?"”
"Yes," I replied.
She said," I'm very interested in this. Can I ask for your advice?”
I thought typing was troublesome, so I picked up the voice message. When I picked up the voice message, I knew that she was here!
I answered a few of her questions, but I forgot the specifics. Finally, I asked her," Do you have serious heart problems?”
She paused for a moment and asked," How did you know?”
I replied," I can hear it."
She said," Yes."
I said,"You could die, you know?”
She replied," Yes, I knew from the first day when I had heart failure.”
I was stunned. I felt that she was not afraid of death.
Her answer was," I'm afraid, but I'll come sooner or later.”
I could only smile and say," You won't die!”
Yes, at that time, I was prepared to exchange her life. It was mostly because I was reluctant to part with her, because I was sure that she was the person in my dreams. As for love or love, I didn't think too much about it. I already had a family, so I couldn't think too much about it. What was worth rejoicing about was that she actually existed. This was the happiest time in those ten years.
After agreeing to change, I prepared some things and went to her city. When I saw her, she was indeed very sick. That day, we talked a lot. Until she left, I was still in a daze. I only remember that I cried for a long time that day because I had walked for a long time.
That night, I prepared a yellow form and went to burn it. However, the police saw me burning things and fined me a few hundred yuan. Fortunately, I lied and was not detained.
After that, we met a few times, ate and chatted, and felt that the beauty of that time surpassed everything else in our lives. A month and a half later, her body was no longer in a bad condition. She finally returned to work and was still doing well.
Happy times will always end. That summer, my mother went missing. I didn't sleep the entire night and kept looking for her. She had a mental disability, so I was afraid that something would happen to her. It was also good fortune. The next day, by chance, I found my mother. At that time, I knew that the pain that my master said I had to bear was coming.
A week after my mother went missing, my mother passed away.
Half a year later, my mother kept saying that she was not feeling well. I took her to the hospital for a check-up. Because she had eaten something in the morning, the doctor suggested that she come the next day. I think it's fine. I brought my mother to the bath. In the winter in the north, we usually go to the bath.
In the single room, I saw my mother suddenly become thin and weak. I felt that my mother might not have much time left. That night, I cried and couldn't sleep.
The next day, the results of the checkup came out. Her mother's abdominal cavity was filled with cancer. It was in the late stage. During that period of time, I was like a madman. I found many ways to keep my mother for a while longer, but it was already too late. Three months later, my mother passed away, leaving me with a heart filled with sorrow.
Of course, this wasn't all that Mother suffered. There were some things that I couldn't write down here, as they were like steel knives stabbing into my heart.
Later, she knew that I was in pain. I stayed with her for seven or eight months. In the end, I became very familiar with her lover and children. We respected each other, but I would never forget the pain of losing my mother. In addition, I used some of my own things to exchange for the conditions to meet her. My body was stained with Yin Qi and I was physically and mentally exhausted. I was also worried that I would affect her and her relationship with her family, so I left her side resolutely and never contacted her again.
Later on, I met a Chinese medicine friend. He saw that I was cold and felt my pulse. He asked me in surprise," Why do you play with this thing?”
I said," No, it's because of the contract.”
He nodded and said," I guess it's obsession.”
I was silent…
Two years had passed, but I still couldn't let go of my mother's matter. According to my calculations back then, my mother would die at the age of seventy-six. Perhaps it was because of my own obsession that my mother lost more than ten years of her life.
If I had let go of my obsession back then and not done that thing, or if my mother was still alive, sometimes letting go might be a good thing.
A few years later, I found them. My father was reincarnated in Suzhou, and my mother was reincarnated in Danyang, Jiangsu. I just hoped that they could continue their relationship, so I could be at ease.
After my mother passed away, for a long time, I wandered the streets and alleys, mingling with beggars. At that time, I only wanted to have an empty heart and not think about the world.
One day, I brought a bottle of wine and a few dishes to talk to a scavenger surnamed Mou. I asked him," Is this life happy?”
He replied," When there is no pain in a person's heart, there will be no happiness. Everything is relative.”
I didn't understand what he meant. I looked at him.
He paused and said," If there is no night in the world, there will be no day and no cold. How do you know the beauty of warmth? It's all the same."
I replied,"Yes!"
He continued," I don't feel any pain because there's nothing to worry about. I'm alone, homeless, and jobless. If I die, so be it. If I'm alive, I'll take a bite. " But you," he pointed at me and said," are different from me. You have a family and children, so you have a future. People can't be depressed. We can only look forward for the future of ourselves and our family.”
I took a sip of wine and nodded." Yes, people can't live for themselves.”
He nodded and said," It's been so long since your mother's incident. Letting go of yourself and learning to love yourself is the greatest consolation to your mother. If you lose her, you can never come back. We can only cherish what's in front of us. If we continue to live in pain and don't care about what we have in front of us, once we lose everything, the blow might be much more serious than now. I don't want to see you like this.”
I looked at him, as if he had been enlightened. Most of the depression in my heart had been relieved. I was even a little surprised that a scavenger actually had such a complicated heart.
Later, he came to look for me, followed by the police." What's wrong?”
He smiled and said," Some things have to be faced. Do you understand now?”
I nodded.
He waved his hand and said," I understand now. Goodbye, brother!”
After that, we never met again. I think he understood that facing his own life, so do I!
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。