Lumi returned to his hut, his hands covering his face as he sank into a long memory...
His mother had never worked in her entire life, and the burden of the family fell on his father alone. The two of them never divorced, but they did not live together for many years. When they were in their forties, their mother helped Lumi, Lu Xiaolong, and other people, leaving their home.
His father had a bad temper and would turn hostile whenever he wanted to. In the family, he was the one who ruled.
Why would someone have such a personality?
Rumi now wanted to analyze his father's psychological and personality traits in depth.
Lumi didn't believe that anyone was born a good servant, wasn't it?
In his previous life, Lumi did not want to think about these things, and he even wanted to escape.
A large part of the reason was that when his father died, his aunt exposed a huge secret to Lumi, causing Lumi's mentality to collapse completely. It took an unknown amount of time before he healed himself. Thus, in his previous life, after his father left, Lumi simply did not want to remember him anymore.
His father, Lu Fengjun, was a pitiful person. He had no fate with his parents, relatives, children, friends, or even love in his life.
He deliberately excluded everyone except himself. He was isolated and tired. He knew that his illness had seriously exceeded the burden of his body. He would rather choose death than to treat it. He was suspicious of everyone. He was thrifty to himself, but he showed generosity to his loved ones countless times. He struggled desperately. He corrected his mistakes and tried to make mistakes at the same time. He could not find a way. He was an extremely contradictory individual. He lived alone for a lifetime and finally died alone in his own home.
At this moment, everything about his father filled Lumi's mind, strung together, forming a complete memory chain...
She remembered that it was the summer before Lu Fengjun passed away. During the summer vacation, Lumi took her daughter back to her hometown to visit him. That year, they met, and in just three days, they changed the estrangement between the father and daughter for 30 years.
Lumi wanted to stay with her father, but his father refused.
"Stay at your mother-in-law's house. You haven't seen each other for more than two years.”
Due to the estrangement between father and daughter, Lumi did not take the old man's rejection to heart and took his daughter to live with his mother-in-law.
Her father came to visit her every day and talked a lot, but it seemed like he didn't say anything. Later on, his father returned his granddaughter's childhood photos and the painting he had given him. He said,"You can keep the child's things. It's not good to leave them with me. Moreover, my crystallites are very serious now, and my vision is extremely poor.”
Lumi put away his things and replied," Let's go to the hospital. I'll go with you. It's very likely that you have complications from diabetes. Doctors can't treat themselves, let alone ordinary people like us. We still have to go to the hospital.”
"No need. The eye drops I'm using now are quite effective. I'll try them out for a while.”
Lumi knew his father's stubbornness. From the time he was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of forty-six to the time he was fifty-nine that year, his father, Lu Fengjun, had completely destroyed his body in thirteen years.
He wouldn't listen to anyone's advice. Stubborn, stubborn, using his own will to persevere. His father, Lu Fengjun, said,"If you're sick, you can't go to the hospital. If you go to the hospital, you'll die. If you spend money, you won't get anything good."
Later, Lumi understood that his father just didn't want to waste money and didn't want to spend it on himself.
It was said that life was priceless, but was life really priceless? A person's life had a price tag from the moment they were born. Some people would try their best to cooperate with the treatment when they were seriously ill, while others would just give up when they heard that they were seriously ill. Many imported drugs with good efficacy had already been included in medical insurance. For low-income people, they would not consider 50% reimbursement, 70% insurance, or even 90% reimbursement. Because to them, even if the money spent on treatment was effective, as long as they could not guarantee a full recovery, it was not worth it to spend tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands to live a few more years or months. This was not worth it in their eyes.
His father was the representative of this type of person.
On the last day before leaving, Lumi took his father and daughter to the park. The moment he walked into the park, Lumi seemed to see his father accompanying him to the park to enjoy the scenery. This was the only park in the small town.
The three generations of grandfather and grandson were tired of walking, so they sat on the bench under the big tree to rest.
His father said," I don't have long to live. I knew from a young age that I only had sixty years to live. In my life, I've seen some beautiful rivers and mountains. I like places with mountains and rivers the most. I think Penglai is the best."”
Lumi felt that his father was being pretentious again and said,"You like Penglai? When are you going? I'll accompany you.”
His father immediately refused." No need. Don't worry. I'll definitely tell you when I go. I won't sneak away."”
Lumi was worried. He looked at his father's saggy face and calm eyes. It was only after a long time that Lumi understood that the look in his eyes was clearly hopeless and did not have the slightest nostalgia for this world.
After saying goodbye to the hometown where he grew up, Lumi returned home. After just three days of interaction and conversation, Lumi had contacted his father on the phone more often. Lumi was more worried about the old man.
Every time he called Lumi, he would persuade his father to come and live with him. He would follow his father's interests and talk about the past and the present.
It seemed that after chatting for a long time, his father had also opened up a little, but it also seemed that the more he talked, the more sad he became. As he talked, there were even two times where he could not stop crying.
"I was born in a small village in Shandong by the Yellow River. I have two younger brothers and two younger sisters. Other than your third uncle who came here, you have never seen anyone else.”
That was the first time his father talked about his childhood.
He said," My father was addicted to smoking and drinking all his life. Whenever he had a little money, he would go and get alcohol. He couldn't drink it himself. He had to call his friends to drink together. He bragged while drinking. When the wine ran out, she left. When she was drunk, she started to insult her children and beat up my mother.”
His father hated smoking and drinking the most in his life. Indeed, he treated his father as a negative role model for life, but he had a bad temper. When he was young, he often saw him beating and scolding his mother, dragging his mother's legs and throwing her from the bed to the ground, pulling his mother's long hair and smashing her head against the wall... Time and time again, scenes left a heavy shadow on Lumi's young heart. Lumi could not fill the gap in his memory for the rest of his life.
Whenever his parents were done fighting, his mother would hug Lumi and cry."If it weren't for the two of you, I would have divorced him long ago. I've really had enough of him!”
Rumi became numb and annoyed when he heard these words.
It was only when his father lost his temper and wanted to hit his mother that his mother raised the iron abacus beside her and said hatefully,"Let's die together today!" After this incident, his father was completely shocked. In his later memories, he never fought with his mother again.
The years of relationship between husband and wife had exhausted the only trace of feelings they had when they first met when they were young.
After Lumi and Lu Xiaolong left home to work, her mother left her father with help. They had not seen each other for many years, and she did not return to see her father even after his death.
What kind of hatred was this? It was like a blunt knife pulling at meat, and he would never be able to forgive it in his entire life.
"Although I was born as the eldest, my parents never liked me. They even wanted me to die…"
Lumi noticed his father's sobs and wanted to end the topic, but he found that he was already deeply immersed in his memories and could not extricate himself.
" When I was young, there was once when my family cooked corn paste. Two large bowls were filled with boiling porridge and were placed on the ground to cool. My mother urged me to kick the bowl with my foot, but my father sat at the side and did not say a word. Later, I thought it through. She wanted me to die. If I got scalded when I kicked the porridge, I could die without treatment. If I didn't get scalded, I would have made the mistake of kicking the porridge. My father took the opportunity to beat me to death.”
Lumi's tears could not stop flowing down her cheeks. The abnormal parent-child relationship and the ugly family.
Lumi was speechless and listened silently with tears in his eyes.
"I had hoped that the two of you would study hard, but I had too little experience and didn't know how to do it, so I delayed you. When I was young, I was so eager to go to school, but your grandfather plundered the valuable things in the house and exchanged them for wine. He didn't pay the tuition fees at all. I thought of a way to get up early and go up the mountain to pick hemp. When I wasn't doing farm work, I would make hemp rope, weave straw sandals, and sell them in the market. I would save up every cent to pay for my tuition fees. When I reached junior high school, I would become a real labor force. My father completely forbade me from studying anymore.”
"When I was eighteen years old, I finally had the ability to leave home. I was penniless and carried a quilt on my back. If I had a ride, I would hitch a ride. If I didn't have a ride, I would walk. After many twists and turns, I arrived in Jinan. I worked hard and did the most tiring work. I earned enough money to go to Yichun to join my uncle. In Yichun, I was an expert at cutting pine nuts. I could climb to the top of a tree that was more than ten meters tall with my bare hands. Not long after the good days passed, my aunt looked down on me and gave me the address to come to my uncle. I learned how to be a carpenter, a bricklayer, and how to build a house, but I was still looked down upon by others. Later, I was introduced to your mother, but your mother also looked down on me…"
Lumi finally understood why his father was prone to violence. Throughout his life, he was extremely self-abased. A person with an inferiority complex cared about what others thought of him all the time, and often felt that his self-esteem was hurt. Therefore, he always used violence and shouting to cover up his pitiful self-esteem.
However, what his father could not understand was that self-esteem was something that only needed to be protected when self-esteem was low. When there was no need to consider protecting it, it would turn into self-confidence.
Through his father's story, Lumi saw his soft heart wrapped in a hard heart.
Recalling this, Lumi's heart ached.
"Pa!" A loud slam of a door pulled Lumiere back to reality.
Hearing the powerful footsteps, Lumi's heart pounded, and his breathing stopped. He stood up and gently pushed the door open.
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。