I've been staying at home for the past few days. I don't want to go out. I'm afraid to see people. Am I really a failure as a person? My best friend and my boyfriend ganged up to lie to me. I couldn't take it anymore. Yushan came to keep me company a few times, but I didn't want to see anyone. My parents came back a few times, but they wouldn't find out what was on my mind because they never really cared about me. They wouldn't care about me unless it was something that would make them look good.
"Yuhe, I want to talk to you. Can you come out for a moment?”Zou Xiangyang called. I could hear the vicissitudes in his words. His hoarse voice proved that he hadn't been sleeping well for the past few days. However, so what? They didn't want to start, but it ended just like that. Perhaps, they wouldn't suffer the greatest harm.
"I have nothing to say to you. I'm very tired and need to rest for a while. Please don't call me again.”He hung up the phone. Those disappointing tears flowed down again. It didn't matter whether he was reluctant or helpless. Because his heart was already occupied by another person. It was just that he didn't want to take it out easily.
Why is my love world in such a mess? The man I've loved for a few years, but I can't love him. The man who says he loves me is with a good friend. My heart really hurts, really hurts. The love that hurts to the bone marrow, the love that is entangled, to me, perhaps, is not love, but called unwillingness!
"Yuhe, if you don't want to see me, I won't blame you, but I have to tell you what's in my heart. If you don't come out, I will wait at your door until you come out.”He hung up the phone.
I know him. Once he has made up his mind, he will not easily turn back. Perhaps it's good for me, him, and Jiang Man if I make things clear. After all, we used to be best friends. When love is gone, friendship may still be there. But when friendship is gone, what love is there to talk about? Is that illusory thing still useful to me? I stood by the window and watched him downstairs. I got dressed and went downstairs to look for him. Before I went downstairs, I called Yushan. I was afraid that what he said would soften my heart and make me forgive him. I couldn't. I really couldn't. I didn't deny that I used to use him as a substitute for my feelings, but now that I'm awake, it's time for me to return to reality.
"I think it's time for us to talk things out. I tried very hard to forget my past, but I couldn't. I once wanted to work hard to accept you. I thought I had accepted you, but when Jiang Man announced to everyone that you were her boyfriend, it was already over between us. There's nothing to say between us. I only hope that you can treat Jiang Man well in the future. She's better than me. She's a good woman.”I held back my tears. I couldn't say that I was hurt. It was unfair to him. After all, there was nothing wrong with loving someone. What was wrong was that we met the wrong person at the right time.
"Yuhe, Yuhe, you misunderstood. I really didn't know what happened at that time. When she announced it, I was so angry that I was really angry. When I reacted and chased after you, I didn't know where you were. Yuhe, please forgive me. Look at your face, it's as white as paper.”Zou Xiangyang grabbed my hand, desperately trying to pull me into his embrace.
"Zou Xiangyang, you're really capable. The two of you actually dared to gang up on my sister like that. Do you really want to be beaten up? I'm so angry, you two bastards! I won't let you off. How dare you bully my sister.”Yushan's timely appearance eased my helplessness.
" I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry." Zou Xiangyang kept apologizing. No one could understand his hurt feelings. Was it wrong to love someone? Or was it that he should not have fallen in love with her in the first place? Between love and not love, no one could tell what was love and what was letting go. It was said that letting go was also a kind of love, but how many people would have the courage to let go?
"Let's go to the coffee shop outside. It's not convenient to talk here.”I pulled Yushan out. I was afraid that my parents would suddenly come back and see me. I knew that marriage was not something I could control. I don't want Zou Xiangyang to get hurt. Love is gone, but friendship is still there. We were classmates. I don't want my parents to do anything harmful to him. If that happens, I'll feel that I'm really too despicable.
"Zou Xiangyang, you still came to find Mei Yuhe. Zou Xiangyang, why did you do this to me? I saw you on the street just now and called you, but you couldn't hear me. I didn't expect it to be true. You really have feelings for her. Are you really that heartless to me? I've loved you for three years, three years, a total of 1095 days and 26280 hours. Every time I see the two of you together, my heart bleeds, but I can't say anything? I can only hate you from the bottom of my heart. Why, why do you treat me like this? Did you know? All these years, I've lived by counting the days. Every minute and second is so important to me. You won't understand. Why do you want me to love you so painfully? Is it wrong for me to love you?”Jiang Man cried out to Zou Xiangyang. Looking at her crying red eyes, I understood that I was the same. For the sake of him in the distance, for the love that I didn't know would have a future, I had always held on. At this moment, I admired Jiang Man. At least, she could tell the love that hurt the most in her heart to the person she loved. I could only face the wind, the clouds, and the distance, but I couldn't even ask why.
"Jiang Man, I told you before that in this life, I will not fall in love with anyone else except Mei Yuhe. Didn't I make it clear to you back then? I didn't want to attend your birthday, but in the end, I wanted to be classmates. I went, but I didn't expect you to be like this. You really make me sad." Shao Xiangyang turned his head to the side. He didn't want these people to see the tears in his eyes. He understood Jiang Man. Only when one is madly in love will one be somewhat crazy. Yu He, why can't I find any hurt in your eyes?
"Alright, that's enough. Stop acting in front of me. Is it useful? One is my best friend, and the other is my ex-boyfriend. How long are you two going to keep acting in front of me? If you haven't acted enough, continue acting. I'm leaving.”I pulled Yushan, who was already furious, and left. I wanted to go somewhere where I could heal myself.
I used all my strength to finish my sentence and ran away. I walked alone on the deserted street. Yushan kept calling me sister from behind, but I knew that there was no turning back. In the past, I thought that I would have to go through a lot of hardships in my relationship with Zou Xiangyang. After graduation, I might have to fall out with my parents and leave this family. Now it seems that I was too sentimental, thinking that I had firmly grasped the love that belonged to me. But in the end, it was all for naught. It was really laughable. It turned out that love could not be deceived. I've never given my heart to you, so why should I let others use their hearts to exchange for it?
I laugh at the world's fools
The world laughs at my stupidity
The rain of feelings came too quickly.
So fast that I didn't have time to experience it
Just like the wind slipping away
Heartache is just a little bit
Heartbroken, but it became forever
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