Xiao Xin, when all this happened, the only person I could think of was you. However, my dear Xiao Xin, you were preparing for the college entrance examination at that time. More importantly, I had not received your forgiveness. Xiao Xin, I regret betraying you in such a cruel way. Although I didn't want to, I still lied to you. I made a mistake and it's unforgivable. Little Uncle said that Grandpa insisted on leaving all his assets to me. Big Uncle was very dissatisfied and kept arguing with Grandpa. Only when I went abroad would Big Uncle and Grandpa no longer have conflicts. I don't want to leave, but I don't belong to this family. When I had no one to rely on and no one to place me in, I wanted to kill myself and escape from this world. I suddenly thought of Mo Jingcheng, his strength and persistence. I suddenly despised my own behavior of despising life. Therefore, I obeyed all of Little Uncle's arrangements. Xiao Xin, don't blame Mo Chengshen for leaving you. He's the most amazing person I've ever met.
Xiao Xin, I don't know if I can come back after leaving this time. I was born alone. If it weren't for my grandparents, I don't know how long I could survive in this world. So, without them, I'm only left with myself. As for you, my dear Xiao Xin, you still have to go to university. You will have a very beautiful future. Your world is something I can't get close to. " I'm leaving for a foreign country. Little Uncle said that I can still go to school there, but the condition is that I can't come back. Actually, in this world, the only people I can't bear to part with are Grandpa, Grandma, and you.
Perhaps, I can understand the choice of silence. Sometimes, leaving was just to fulfill love. Xiao Xin, I desperately want to tell you that I don't want to leave this place at all. I want to go to university with you and be good friends with you for life. However, in a thousand words, I can only express my helplessness towards fate. Xiao Xin, whether I come back or not, whether we can meet again in this life, please remember that you are my only good friend, a good friend for life!
waning moon
Lu Xiao Yue once said that when she was sad, she didn't like to see colorful things because it would be complicated if there were too many colors. She didn't want to be even sadder. Apart from the elegant handwriting, the pure white letter had traces of being wet by tears. Lin Xinlan allowed the warm liquid to drip down her cheeks onto the white letter, once again staining the traces of being stained by another girl's tears. She could imagine how desperate the girl was when she wrote this letter. She could feel her helplessness at that time. When she needed comfort and support the most, she was preparing for the college entrance examination without caring where she was or what had happened to her. She had been begging for her forgiveness, but she had always thought that her betrayal should not be forgiven. After she and Mo Jingcheng betrayed her, they had completely broken up. Regret, or perhaps there was a better word to describe Lin Xinlan's feelings at the moment. She had finally paid the price for her self-righteousness. She had really lost her.
She thought of the tears that fell from the corner of her eyes when she looked at the willow branch in a daze. She thought of her back that disappeared into the setting sun when she left.
She said," No matter if you forgive me or not, please promise me to live well."
She said that if she could start all over again, she would never choose to lie to him.
She said,'You are my only good friend, my best friend for life.'
However, in a lifetime, many people would use these two beautiful words when making promises for love. Lin Xinlan was so lucky that she could get the most stingy promise in a friendship.
Some people say that people who have been living in lies may be happier, and the truth that they desperately seek may destroy all happiness.
Lin Xinlan opened the blue notebook on an afternoon during the summer vacation. Lu Xiaoyue said that she didn't want to hurt her. She also said that she left silently to fulfill her love. For more than half a year, Lin Xinlan rarely thought about Mo Jingcheng. She wanted to completely forget that the wound he left behind had already scabbed over. Even if everything back then was a misunderstanding, he could only be a memory that belonged to the past in her heart.
However, just as Lu Xiao Yue had said, fate really knew how to joke around. Often, when you thought that everything was within your control, it would suddenly tell you that everything was not like this.
On the first page of the notebook, there were a few large black words " Death Diary " printed on the white paper. The familiar handwriting was so distinct and shocking.
No one could escape the judgment of the Grim Reaper. Everyone's life would come to an end. It was just that I was luckier than others. I knew earlier that the end was not far away. Fate treats me especially. At least it makes me understand more than others how extravagant it is to live.
I don't know when it started, but I started to be afraid of storing the date in my mind. I was even afraid of writing it down in my notebook. It always felt like it was reminding me in an eye-catching way that I didn't have many days left.
So, I don't like to write dates. To be honest, I'm afraid of them. I was originally a lonely person. After leaving school, I became even lonelier. The days of boredom suddenly became so long. I thought that I would soon walk to the side of Death and it would soon take me away from this world. However, it has been more than half a month since I lived in this white room. I am still alive and there is no sign of death.
I don't like the smell of the hospital at all. However, my aunt said that I have to stay here until I recover. Of course, it was impossible for me to recover. She just didn't want to say it until I died.
I don't like hospitals for no reason. My mother left the hospital. I remember that at that time, my aunt fainted from crying. My father held my mother's hand tightly and cried his heart out. I was scared out of my wits by my aunt, who was covered in blood, and my mother, who was lying on the operating table in the emergency room. I was forced into the waiting room by the doctor. Later, I finally understood everything. Everything was just a simple sentence. My mother passed away. At that time, I still didn't know why my mother asked my aunt to take care of my father and me on her behalf. I only know that after that, my aunt moved into our house and became my mother. It's just that I never called her mother. She was very good to me, just like my mother to me. But for a long time, I couldn't accept that she had replaced my mother. At that time, I didn't know how bitter her heart was.
After that, she married my father. They didn't hold a wedding ceremony. They just went to get their marriage certificate on a sunny day. Later, I forgot that I was a child without a mother and obediently became her son. My mother's memories began to become distant and blurry in my mind. The only clear thing was her lying on the operating table and about to leave us. Am I becoming heartless?
My aunt still follows me around every day and takes good care of me. She said that she was already used to taking care of me. I can't imagine how she'll get used to it after I leave. Therefore, I wanted to help her find a younger brother. Just like my mother's decision back then, find someone to live on in my place. But just as I suggested that she and her father adopt a child, she suddenly hugged me and cried, telling me not to talk nonsense. More than once, I doubted the meaning of my existence in this world. Why was I forced to leave before I could make the person who loves me happy?
When she opened her eyes, she felt weak all over. There were a bunch of doctors and nurses in white clothes in the ward, as well as her tear-stained aunt and her weathered father. When she saw me wake up, it was as if she had seen me come back to life. She grabbed my hand and thanked the heavens. Later on, I found out that I had been unconscious for three days and three nights. I almost never woke up.
I haven't seen my father for a long time. He seems to have aged a lot. Fate must have treated him differently. After his lover left, his son was about to leave him. I couldn't figure out how he endured all this. He loved her deeply. Many nights after she left, I knew it when I saw him hugging her photo and crying silently on the balcony. His marriage with Youngest Aunt was only for me. He wanted me to have a mother. I don't know if his love for my mother remains the same after all these years. I only know that he and Youngest Aunt have always been respectful to each other. It seems that this is the only way to grow old together.
I didn't want to admit it, but I kept thinking about her. She's the only person I care about in this world other than my aunt and father. She's the person I don't want to hurt the most, but she hurts the most. More importantly, she's the person I want to protect for the rest of my life. However, when I met her, I was no longer qualified to protect her. She was the luckiest accident in my short life, but I couldn't be the sunshine of her life. In front of her, I was weak. Those unspeakable cowardice I could only count over and over again when I was alone. I didn't dare to face such a sunny her again, didn't dare to look at the happy smile on her face, and didn't dare to covet the warmth of being by her side. Actually, I'm more afraid of death than anyone else. I'm afraid that the longer I stay by her side, the more reluctant I will be to leave.
How many days do I have left? To be honest, I was a little afraid to ask the doctor this question. Actually, I didn't need to ask to know that my days were really numbered. Perhaps if I slept tonight, I would never see tomorrow. I've been a little willful recently. My temper has suddenly become a little irritable and I lose my temper easily. The nurses who have been taking care of me before don't dare to talk to me anymore. Even my aunt has become more cautious. I've noticed this, but I still can't control it. I thought that after so long, I would slowly get used to the days without her, but my mind was filled with her every day. I wanted to see her again, even if it was just from afar. But I'm locked up here every day. I can't go out at all.
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