Work, painting, work, painting, sleeping, eating, painting. These were the daily routines of Xing Lan's life, or rather, the routines of his life for the past few months. There was not a single trace of novelty in his life. Every day, he repeated the story from yesterday. What made Xing Lan feel conflicted was not that his work was in a deadlock, nor was it because of the dullness and boredom of his life. It was because he could tell that Jing Han was not happy. Many times, Xing Lan would see her alone in her room in a daze. Xing Lan knew. Jing Han, who was used to liveliness and liked liveliness, was in pain at that time. However, Xing Lan could not give her happiness because he had his own work and too many things waiting for him to complete.
"Hey, are you up yet?"
At nine o'clock in the morning, Xing Lan dialed Jinghan's number. He knew that Jinghan would sleep very late every day, so he did not call her directly after work.
"Yeah, I'm up."
Jing Han replied to Xing Lan.
"Let's go. My friends are gathering today. Let's go together.”
Xing Lan wanted to bring Jing Han out to relax.
"Friend, are there many people? If there are many people, I won't go.”
Jing Han's words carried a lot of hesitation.
"Yes, there are quite a lot of people and it's quite lively. Why don't you go when there are so many people?”
Xing Lan was very puzzled.
"Why would I go with your friend? I won't go.”
Jinghan said in a low voice.
"What's wrong with my friend? Today is Singles 'Day, and many people are together.”
Xing Lan did not hide it anymore. Today was November 11th.
"There are a lot of people. I won't go.”
Jing Han said submissively.
"What's wrong with you?"
Xing Lan had many doubts. He could not figure out what Jing Han meant.
"It's fine. I won't go."
Jing Han insisted.
"Are you really not going?"
Xing Lan asked again.
"Yes."
Jinghan said in a low voice.
"Then I won't go either."
Xing Lan's words were very boring.
"You go. What are you doing at home?"
Jing Han replied to Xing Lan.
"It's Singles 'Day. Other people bring their wives. Why should I go alone?”
Xing Lan had a trace of anger. He really couldn't understand what Jing Han meant. After Xing Lan finished speaking, he heard a burst of laughter from the other end of the phone. Xing Lan could tell that it was Ru Ping.
"I'll go if there are fewer people."
Jing Han's words were very baffling.
"Alright, wait a moment."
Xing Lan hung up the phone immediately. In the room, Xing Lan pondered for a long time because he could not figure it out. He also could not understand what Jing Han meant. Xing Lan directly dialed Hong Ye's number and told Hong Ye that he would not be going today. Even though Hong Ye did not understand, Xing Lan did not explain because he felt that it was very chaotic at that time.
In the evening, a comrade, Gao Bin, came to Beijing to look for a job. Since he didn't have a place to stay, he looked for Xing Lan. Xing Lan received Gao Bin at a restaurant that they often went to. As he was afraid that Jing Han would be lonely, he called Jing Han over for dinner. After the banquet, Xing Lan sent Jing Han home. Gao Bin and his colleagues went straight back to Xing Lan's place. There were still many people on the street, so Xing Lan bought some fruit.
Jing Han's residence, Yu Xuan, was still working. Ru Ping was not at home because she was at a friend's house. Jing Han handed Xing Lan an apple and told him to wash it before eating. Xing Lan sat on the bed and took a bite. Jing Han, who was holding the phone, rolled her eyes at him. Jing Han had been chatting with someone else.
"Why aren't you going today?"
Looking at her phone, Jing Han asked Xing Lan.
"Why are you going? Are you going to embarrass yourself? I've already agreed with my friend.”
Xing Lan took a bite of the apple in response to Jing Han, but Jing Han did not speak anymore. Xing Lan also did not voice out the pain in her heart because Jing Han would not refute anyone's words and actions, nor would she argue with anyone, especially when it came to serious matters.
"We're both so old now. I don't know what to say and I don't know what you mean. I don't understand if every Pisces girl wants her lover to ask her if she loves her every day, but Jinghan, we can't afford to play with her anymore. We need to think about the future.”
Xing Lan's words were very puzzling and he did not understand.
Jing Han remained silent the entire time. She did not say a word and her face was expressionless. Xing Lan was even wondering if she regretted it. If that was the case, Xing Lan would let go very quickly. He would not pester anyone.
"You said that you hoped that I could be your support. Did I misunderstand back then?”
Xing Lan's tone was filled with doubt, anger, and a trace of pain because he was afraid that Jing Han would say yes.
"No."
Jing Han finally spoke. She told Xing Lan that she was serious.
"Then what exactly are you thinking?"
Xing Lan asked with a bitter smile.
Jing Han stopped talking and returned to silence.
"Look into my eyes."
Xing Lan placed his hand on Jing Han's cheek. After he finished speaking, he pressed his lips against her soft lips. At that moment, Xing Lan felt his mind go blank. At that moment, Xing Lan even forgot what he was doing.
"Wuuu
Jing Han protested in this way.
Xing Lan retreated at lightning speed. Xing Lan, who was sitting by the bed, frowned because he did not expect Jing Han to have such a reaction. At that moment, Xing Lan was at a loss because the moment Jing Han lowered her head, a drop of crystal fell. At that moment, Xing Lan was like a child who had done something wrong.
"I…I…You…You…"
Xing Lan did not know what he said. He only looked at the tears on Jing Han's face and suddenly felt his heart ache.
"Clang."
The door was opened and Yu Xuan walked into the room with a displeased look on his face. Yu Xuan did not say a word to Xing Lan and the other two. Because he was used to Yu Xuan's usual appearance, Xing Lan did not pay attention to him.
"I'm fine."
Yuxuan walked in, and Jing Han returned to her usual appearance in response to Xing Lan. To outsiders, it seemed like she was really fine.
"Then I'll be leaving."
Xing Lan stood up immediately. He did not know what he could do now.
"Mhm, you can go."
Jing Han smiled.
The streets were still crowded with people. Xing Lan took a pack of cigarettes from the supermarket. After lighting up a cigarette, he could not stop coughing. Because Jinghan did not like men who smoked, Xing Lan had forced himself to stop smoking some time ago. As he gradually got used to the smell of tobacco, Xing Lan suddenly felt a lot of pain. After receiving her kiss, Xing Lan was not as happy as anyone else. This was because Xing Lan was not reminiscing about Jinghan's soft lips, but thinking about the sadness and conflict in Jinghan's tears.
"How shameless."
In the room, Xing Lan slapped his own mouth and sat on the bed with a weak breath. At that moment, he hated himself. At that moment, he believed that Jinghan was worthy of his love and everyone's love.
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