"No, go to sleep first! Talk to you later."
Luo Xiaoqi must have something on her mind, but I couldn't ask further if she didn't want to say it.""Alright then. Talk to you later."
After ending the call, I didn't feel sleepy anymore. I kept thinking about Luo Xiaoqi's tone when she spoke just now and guessed what had happened on her side. However, it's useless for me to let my imagination run wild here. I'd better sleep. I threw my phone aside and continued to sleep.
When I woke up, it was already past seven in the evening. After dressing, washing up, and eating, I turned on my computer. As soon as I logged on to QQ, there were a lot of messages from Luo Xiaoqi.”"You're really a pig!" "Inform me when you wake up!" After reading those comments, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Am I a pig? This girl really wasn't polite! I laughed and sent a window shake to Luo Xiaoqi. Soon, Luo Xiaoqi sent a video request.
Before I could say anything, I noticed that Luo Xiaoqi's eyes were red.
"What's wrong with you? Did you cry?" I asked her, but she didn't say anything. "Then why are your eyes…"
"I'm fine." Luo Xiaoqi changed the topic." Can I ask you a question?"”
"Speak."
"Do you believe in love?" Luo Xiaoqi rested her chin on her hands and looked up. She looked so obsessed as if she was looking at something beautiful.
I didn't know how to answer this question. Regarding love, I couldn't say whether I believed it or not, but whether I understood it. So I thought about it for a long time.”
"Should be?" Luo Xiaoqi didn't understand what I meant.
I smiled and said,"Yes, it should be!" I don't even know if love exists in this world. At least, I haven't encountered one. Haha…"
Luo Xiaoqi had an 'I understand' expression.""I understand. However, can you tell me your understanding of the phrase 'growing old together?'”
"Why are you suddenly telling me this?" I asked.”
"I was just asking casually.”Luo Xiaoqi pretended to be relaxed, but her eyes could not hide the sadness in her heart.
It's still the same. If she's unwilling to say it, I won't ask.
"Actually, my biggest understanding of the phrase 'grow old together' is…nonsense!”I spoke the truth and did not hide my true thoughts. In my eyes, everything unknown is nonsense. Although my expression might be a little rude.
"Hehe, this is the most interesting understanding I've heard about growing old together.”Luo Xiaoqi smiled and said," Can you tell me what made you think that?”
"I don't know. I would give the same understanding to everything that I thought was unknown, and that was nonsense. Perhaps this kind of thinking was a little arbitrary and would kill a lot of people with a single blow, but I didn't care. Anyway, it was all unknown. When I really know them, I will overturn the definition I have given them. Before that, I can only say two words…" I didn't repeat those two rude words because I was worried that it would leave a bad impression on Luo Xiaoqi.
Luo Xiaoqi smiled, and her eyes were no longer dim, but bright.""Hehe, it's very interesting to chat with you. However, I still feel that your understanding is incorrect.”
"Oh?" I raised my eyebrows and asked her,"Then tell me your understanding."”
Luo Xiaoqi thought about it carefully and said to me,""I've always fantasized about having a blissful love. Just like every beautiful fairy tale, I'll meet my prince. He might not ride a white horse, but he'll definitely be a prince, the prince in my heart. I will also be the most beautiful princess in his heart. I will walk hand in hand with my prince into the palace of marriage and grow old together until death. He would care for me, love me, and accommodate me. No matter what happened, he would always be by my side. Even when our hair turned white and our teeth fell out, he would still hold my hand and sit in the rocking chair to watch the sunset with me. I was still the treasure in his heart.”I will never forget the longing and yearning in Luo Xiaoqi's eyes when she said this. It was a longing for love and a yearning for happiness.
After listening to her words, I fell silent and looked at Luo Xiaoqi quietly. The two of us didn't speak for a long time.
About two minutes later. Luo Xiaoqi was the first to react. She smiled shyly.""Do you think I'm being a little whimsical?”
"No!" I came back to my senses and told Luo Xiaoqi honestly," A very good girl friend told me that every girl has a dream in her heart. Some of them were fairytale dreams, while others were heroic dreams. So when you say that you have a beautiful fairytale dream, I won't think that you're indulging in fantasy. I just wanted to say that your dream was too perfect.”
"Why do you say too?" Luo Xiaoqi asked me in confusion.
Before I said what I meant, I carefully considered my words. After making sure that I didn't say anything too sharp, I said to her,"Because you said it was your fairytale dream. Since it was a beautiful dream, then it was the most perfect dream in your heart. It's just that we live in a real world. After all, fairy tales are not the real world. So compared to reality, that dream was really too perfect.”
"Haha!" Luo Xiaoqi smiled and said nothing. I knew that she understood what I meant, because since then, Luo Xiaoqi rarely mentioned that dream to me.
"Do you girls especially yearn for that kind of love that lasts forever?”I couldn't help but ask her curiously.
"I don't know what other girls are thinking, but I hope to meet such a relationship.”Luo Xiaoqi said," Do you think I'm stupid?”I shook my head and denied it. Luo Xiaoqi continued,""I feel very stupid myself. Because even I don't believe that I'll meet the kind of person who will grow old together with me. But I just can't accept it. I still fantasize about having it one day.”There was a kind of determination and persistence in her eyes.
From then on, I saw Luo Xiaoqi's persistent pursuit of love and happiness. It was also after that chat that I began to ask myself, is there really a happy love in the world that is worthy of a person's persistent pursuit? If there really was one, where was it? The dream of growing old together, the dream that belongs to me, who will be the female lead in that dream…
Shaking off the snow on my head and shoulders, I looked at the snow all over the mountain. For some reason, the corners of my eyes became moist, and two lines of tears slid out of my eyes. I know these aren't tears of sadness, but a memorial! That's right! It was a memorial ceremony! To pay homage to the old age I once believed in! To commemorate the happy love I once believed in! " As for Luo Xiaoqi, if I have the chance to see her again, I will definitely tell her three words. Those three words were not " I love you ", even though I really wanted to tell her that I love her again. Those three words were "I'm sorry". I once loved Luo Xiaoqi deeply, and because I loved her deeply, I also hurt her deeply…that optimistic girl with cute dimples. If I hadn't left my footprints in her world, I think she would be happier and happier. At the very least, the happiness and happiness she received was far more than what I brought her.
"Ah! Ah!" I shouted hysterically at The Mountain. I needed to vent. I had been immersed in sadness and guilt for far too long. Today, I finally burst out the pain that had been suppressed in my heart for a long time in front of the mountain and the falling snow." Why did you let me meet her back then? Why do you want me to fall in love with her? Why did I fall in love with her and hurt her so deeply? Why did it end up like this today? Why must I face such pain? Why?" I hate myself. I really hate myself. Luo Xiaoqi was a good girl, but I destroyed the most beautiful dream of a kind girl! In the past, Luo Xiaoqi once said that I was her prince. I rescued her from her lonely castle. I once brought her some happiness and some vague so-called happiness. I'm honored to be the prince in her fairy tale.
Unfortunately, I let her down. I took her away from loneliness, but inadvertently pushed her into the abyss of sadness. I remember every smile of Luo Xiaoqi. I remember every time we held hands, every hug, and every kiss, but I can't forget every tear she shed because of me! Every drop of tear was like a dagger that glinted with a cold light. In the long sleepless night, even in the darkness, it could accurately stab the softest part of my left chest. I don't know how many nights I dreamed of Luo Xiaoqi crying helplessly in front of me. And the one who caused her all this pain was me, the person she thought was a prince. She only had trust in me and didn't have a trace of defense, but I stabbed her in the softest part of her body countless times. This is what I can't forgive myself for!
A friend once said to me,"Mo Chen, it's not your fault!" Love was sometimes a double-edged sword. It made you feel the happiness of being loved, but it also made you suffer the pain that the other party brought you. You don't have to blame yourself too much. It wasn't your fault. You hurt her, but how could she not hurt you?”I can understand my friend's good intentions, and I also know that the saying "there is love, there is harm" is right. But I just can't get over this hurdle.
I patted the snow off my hair and shoulders, turned around and went down the mountain. This was the last winter I spent as a student in Xi'an. It was also the last time I stood in the snow in Xi'an and recalled Luo Xiaoqi.
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。