Zhu Jingrong's pregnancy had officially entered the ninth month.
No one expected that the days would be so rushed, so fast that they were caught off guard.
Ever since she got pregnant, her health had not been good. Her morning sickness was getting worse by the day, and Kang Zhenglun was worried sick. In order to completely take care of her, he specially took the time to go to the bookstore to buy a few maternity manuals. He read them carefully as if he was the one who was going to have a child. On the other hand, Zhu Jing Rong seemed to be less concerned.
She was nine months pregnant, and her belly was unbelievably big. It was not proportional to her thin body, so some movements were a little difficult for her.
On the rare days of vacation, Kang Zhenglun would always comb her long hair dotingly, combing it from top to bottom with a comb, and then using his lips to replace the touch of his hands, gently kissing the ends of her hair with love.
His love for her was so full that there was not a single gap.
"Are you tired?" he asked gently.
In the days after she became pregnant, Zhu Jingrong was like a bear that needed to hibernate all day. She seemed to have lost interest in everything and couldn't muster up any energy. She shook her head and replied stubbornly,"I'm not tired."”
"Are you trying to lie to me again?" Kang Zhenglun was used to it and smiled. He wasn't surprised by her answer at all.
"Didn't you want me to lie to you?”She asked with a puzzled look because she recalled the scene not long ago!!
That day, Kang Zhenglun was powerless and asked helplessly,"Can't you tell me a lie once in a while to make me happy?”
"I'm not used to lying." She told him honestly. "What do you want me to say?"
"Say that you love me, say that you will rely on me for the rest of your life.”He could not wait to hear her tell him about her love, even if it was a lie.
"You know that's wishful thinking. Since that's the case, why do you still want me to say these self-deceiving words?”She frowned. She did not understand why he would ask for such unrealistic sweet nothings from her since he could not capture her heart.
"Sometimes, people have to deceive themselves. As for whether it's true or not, it's not that important.”He sighed lightly. His tone was no longer high-spirited, but rather made people feel a little helpless.
"I love you." He didn't know if she was touched by him, or…suddenly, Zhu Jing Rong whispered into his ear.
" You... you..." Kang Zhenglun stared at her burning face in shock. He must have heard wrongly. Otherwise, with her personality, how could she say things that were against her will? "Say it again, say it again.”
"I love you." Since he wanted to hear it, she cooperated and repeated it again. As for these three words, she could no longer tell if they were out of cooperation or if they came from the deepest voice in her heart.
Because they hadn't spent much time together, and because neither of them wanted to deliberately verify the authenticity of these words, she lied to him and also told herself a huge lie. Whether it was true or false was no longer that important to them. The important thing was that she did not miss the opportunity to express her love to him. Even if she could not tell if it was true or not, even if she could not tell if it came from the bottom of her heart, at least she had tried.
"And then? What else?" he asked anxiously.
She covered his left chest with her hand. "I'll love you forever until death.”
"Me too, me too!" He hugged her excitedly and said in a trembling voice,"I will love you forever, until death do us part.”
However, she knew that those sweet days were a lie after all. It was as short as a flash in the pan, but it was enough to deeply imprint themselves on each other's hearts, leaving traces that could never be erased. It was a sweet and heart-wrenching mark that belonged to him and her.
She sighed softly as she recalled what happened that day.
"How can that be compared?" He tapped her lips." If you're not feeling well, you should tell me immediately. How can you lie?"”
Zhu Jing Rong smiled but didn't answer. Strangely, in this period of time when the two of them were about to part, both of them especially cherished each other, doing their best not to stir up the flames of war between the two sides, and also to satisfy each other's vanity and wishes. This was a very strange experience. She knew very well that as long as she asked him for his love, he would definitely be willing to give her everything. However, she did not want to indulge herself in his gentleness. She was afraid that his love would end up like her father's. At that time, how should she face it? He might even lose his life.
Kang Zhenglun carefully tied her long hair into a braid behind her back, then gently placed his face on her protruding belly, his face brimming with happiness. "Guess if the baby is a boy or a girl?”
"How would I know?" She laughed.
Ever since he was pregnant, other than accompanying her to the hospital for routine checkups, he did not want to do anything like an ambushing to know the gender of the child in advance. He would rather press his face against her stomach every day and ask her questions, as well as the unborn child in her stomach.
She felt fulfilled for this kind of belated happiness, but she also felt very afraid.
Even his family would betray him. What about him? She really couldn't guess what he was thinking. Because she couldn't guess and see through everyone, she chose to build a transparent wall around her, not to understand anyone, and not to let anyone understand her.
"I'm guessing he's a young man, and look at him, he's on the loose again.”She felt a slight kick in her stomach, so Kang Zhenglun deduced that she was a boy. "Do you like boys or girls?"
Zhu Jing Rong didn't answer, only sinking in her thoughts.
Suddenly, he raised his head and kissed her slightly open red lips. "Do you like boys or girls?" he asked again, frustrated.
"It's fine as long as you like it.”So what if it was a man or a woman? The result of being pregnant for ten months was that she would never see him again. Since that was the case, why should she have too much hope?
"Tell me!"
Unable to persuade him, she could only frown and think. "A boy."
"Why?"
"Girls tend to be sentimental, I don't want to create another Zhu Jingrong. Instead of creating a sentimental me, it's better to give birth to a high-spirited you.”
"High-spirited? No, I can't be called the current me at all. The insufferably arrogant me has long been dulled by you, who looks at the world coldly.”He stood up dejectedly. His back was no longer broad and strong, but instead made people feel like a lion that had lost its will to fight.
Without his warmth, she felt a chill on her back. So the world without his warm embrace was so cold?
"Are you still going to leave me?" He turned around and asked softly, but every question felt like a knife was stabbed in his chest.
"Yes." She deliberately ignored the anticipation in his eyes and answered indifferently.
" Can't you feel how much I've done for you?" He shouted at her resentfully.
"It would be a lie to say that I can't feel it. I've seen and taken to heart all the good and bad you've done for me, but so what? This doesn't mean anything." Zhu Jing Rong wrapped her arms around herself. He didn't want to admit this fact, but he had to.
On this day when she was about to leave him, she did not want to lie to him. As long as it was something he wanted to know, she would tell him almost everything honestly. She knew that doing so would give him hope that he shouldn't have, but even so, she still didn't want to lie to him.
"Since you can see my sacrifice, why do you still insist on leaving? You're clearly deceiving yourself by saying these words!”He could no longer understand her thoughts. Although she admitted that she could see his good side, she was clearly resisting him in her heart.
"I had no choice but to leave you because I could see how good you were. My parents used to treat me very well. I thought they would love me forever. Father was locked up because of his stock trading, and the next day, he ran away without caring about our lives. I don't blame him, but who did I sign the contract for today? It's my younger brother! Now that he can earn his own living, he actually colluded with my father to extort you. Did they ever care about me? How could my heart be safe when a family member that I regarded as irreplaceable in this world was clamoring to sell me to another person in front of me? How could he not die because of despair? If the result of giving everything for others is like this, where will I have the mental strength to bear it?”
"I'm different from them! Why aren't you willing to gamble again?" They were them. How could she compare him to her family? This was so unfair to him!
"Bet? What can I use as a bargaining chip in this bet? This unborn child? Or my cheap life? If I lose it again, I will really have nothing left.”Zhu Jing Rong smiled mockingly at him, her smile filled with despair and disappointment towards human nature.
"We haven't even bet yet, how can you be so sure that you will lose?”
"It's because I haven't started gambling that I'm glad I won't lose anything.”
"You're too pessimistic." He didn't agree with her.
"I admit, but don't you think that you've changed yourself, so you're asking me to change for you?”It was rare for her to express her opinion of him.
"I admit that ever since I met you, everything that was originally within my grasp was no longer so easy. You're the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, but you're also the woman who wants to run away from me as far as possible.”
"This is the cause you planted back then. Now, you have to taste this bitter fruit alone.”she said lightly.
"Don't you think it's not a bitter fruit?”Kang Zhenglun didn't think that it would be a bad result. As long as she promised not to leave him, the bitter fruit would become a sweet fruit.
"You want to drag me into this mess?"
"How can that be? It's a beautiful future with you, me, and many of our unborn babies.”As he spoke, Kang Zhenglun began to fantasize about the beautiful new world that only belonged to them. "Don't you think that it's a world full of love?”
"You're too idealistic. If you were me today, perhaps you would be even more cynical than I am. You would hate all those who deceive you and use you.”
"It's because you've been through too much, that's why I want to make it up to the people who hurt you. Believe me, accompany me for the rest of your life and you won't feel pain, let alone be betrayed by me. Believe that I will love you forever.”It wasn't that he didn't understand her past. It was because he knew her too well that he understood how difficult it was to move her firm determination. However, he wouldn't be discouraged just because he was rejected again and again.
"Stop talking. If you really won't change, then let time decide the outcome! I believe that time and space will not stop two people who love each other.”
Everyone knew how to say sweet nothings, and she had heard too many of them. Since no one could predict the future, why not let go and let time and space decide everything? As long as it truly belonged to them, they would eventually return to each other's side, right?
At dusk, the faint light shone on the dense forest. The weak but warm sunlight made people feel warm in their hearts.
Kang Zhenglun held Zhu Jingrong's hand and strolled leisurely, enjoying the rare tranquility.
He lovingly ran his hand through her long and black hair. He had seen many women's long hair, but he liked hers.
Suddenly, Zhu Jing Rong stopped in her slow steps, her eyes fixed on the stall not far ahead.
At the same time, Kang Zhenglun also noticed her strange expression. He followed her gaze and suddenly understood the reason for her sudden shock.
There was a father and son standing beside the stall in front of them. The child was holding a ball and seemed to be tired from playing. He was sweating profusely as he stood in front of the stall and gulped down a cold drink. As for the father, he was worried that the child would catch a cold. He kept wiping the child's body with a towel.
Such a heartwarming scene reflected in the eyes of Zhu Jingrong, who had already given up on kinship, was undoubtedly a great irony. When did her world fall from heaven to hell? Unknowingly, tears had already flowed out of her eyes, and she did not even notice it. Staring at the father and son in front of her, she felt an inexplicable sense of melancholy and sadness.
When Kang Zhenglun saw this, he immediately pulled her into his embrace and comforted her with heartache."Don't look." He was afraid that she would be sad.
His embrace was strong and warm, but it was not a place for her to stay for long. She could not live under his wings forever, and she knew that she could only rely on herself to heal her setbacks.
So she broke free from his embrace and raised her hand to wipe away her tears. "I'm thirsty. I want to drink a glass of water."
"I'll go buy it. Wait for me here.”He immediately became an errand boy so that she wouldn't get close to the father and son who were an eyesore.
When Kang Zhenglun returned to Zhu Jingrong's side with the drink, the expression that had appeared on her face just now had long been hidden in an unknown place in her heart, replaced by her usual depressed expression.
When he opened the drink in his hand and handed it to her, Zhu Jing Rong suddenly hugged her protruding belly and frowned, looking like she was in unbearable pain.
"What's wrong? Your face is so pale!" Kang Zhenglun stared at her nervously and hurriedly took out a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the sweat off her face.
" Stomach…stomach…" She hugged her stomach and endured the waves of pain coming from her stomach. "Oh! I…"
She was going into labor? Just as this thought flashed through his mind, Kang Zhenglun's entire body tensed up.
"Don't be afraid, don't be afraid. With me here, you will definitely be safe and sound.”Seeing that she was in unbearable pain, he was also flustered, wishing he could bear this pain for her. However, other than comforting her again and again, he did not know what else he could do.
He picked her up and quickly ran to the car park. After he placed her in the back seat in a panic, he did not forget to comfort her by her ear.
"Try to take a deep breath. Come, take a deep breath and let me see. Yes, that's it.”
While driving, he did not forget to teach her how to relieve the pain through the mirror.
There was no delay along the way. When she arrived at the hospital's main entrance, she was immediately pushed to the labor room to wait for labor. In the waiting room, he nervously held her cold hand due to the pain, trying to pass his hot body temperature to her.
It was time! This was the first thought that appeared in Zhu Jing Rong's mind as she lay on the bed. She was so sad that she wanted to cry, but she couldn't. This was the path she had chosen. No matter what, she had to walk it alone to the end. She believed that only by separating from him could she keep his perfect image in her heart forever. She didn't want his beautiful image to end up as ugly as her father.
"Go back and rest first!" she said to him with difficulty. "The doctor said that the first child will always be longer.”
"I'm not tired. I want to accompany you until the end.”he said firmly.
"You should go back and rest first! Staying here will only get in the way."
He leaned against the bed and held her hand. "I don't know why, but I feel like this is the last time I'll be with you.”
"This means that we should also end this. It's not a good idea to drag it out any longer.”
"We can also not break it! This decision is entirely up to you.”He hurriedly took out a small square box from his pocket. Inside was a dazzling blue crystal diamond. "Marry me again."
Zhu Jing Rong refused to extend her hand, turning her face away from his anxious gaze. "Why do you have to do this? You know that this is impossible. You should go back. I will definitely give birth to your child safely.”
"I'm not going back. As long as I think it's worth it and I don't feel tired. For you, all the hard work is nothing.”He grabbed his messy hair, afraid that if he pushed her too hard, it would only make her suffer more. "If I could, I would give birth to a child for you.”
"The mentality of a father-to-be." She stroked his head thoughtfully. For the first time in her life, she felt that happiness was within reach. But did she really have the courage to reach out and grab this happiness that was within her reach? She didn't know. She even felt that she would never have the chance to see him again after separating from him this time.
A short period of beautiful time was still the most beautiful in the heart. If one insisted on persisting until the end, no matter how beautiful things were, they would not be beautiful.
"Promise me that you will return to me safely.”
"I promise you, I will definitely give you an heir.”She avoided talking about his previous promise, but the promise she gave him was not the one he really wanted. His words made her so sad that she wanted to cry. Could it be that he still didn't give up? They had nothing to do with each other for the rest of the child's life. She would always remember how good he was to her and would occasionally recall it when she was helpless.
"I don't want a child. I just want you to return to my side safely and accompany me!”Kang Zhenglun shouted at her in exasperation. What time was it? Could it be that she still did not understand his feelings?
"This is not a promise I should give."
Just as Kang Zhenglun was about to say something more, a nurse wearing gloves walked to the bedside." I'm very sorry, sir. I have to examine the patient. Please leave."”
Kang Zhenglun walked out of the ward dejectedly with a look of despair. His last chance to convince her had been lost. He knew very well that he would lose her forever.
After a while, Zhu Jingrong was pushed into the delivery room. Finally, after dozens of hours of painful labor and a life-and-death labor process, she gave birth to a fair daughter for Kang Zhenglun.
When the doctor carried her daughter to her, she refused with tears in her eyes. A child that would not belong to her, hugging him would only leave her with extra longing.
Early in the morning, Zhu Jingrong began to take care of the discharge matters. She woke up early to deliberately miss the time when Kang Zhenglun came to handle the discharge.
After packing her luggage, she asked the nurse for a mirror and a pair of scissors.
Looking at her reflection in the mirror, Zhu Jing Rong's heart was filled with melancholy.
It had been six years. She didn't expect that six years had passed in such a short time as she stayed by Kang Zhenglun's side as a mistress. For the past six years, she had given him the most beautiful time of a woman without any regrets. He had imprisoned her for six years, and now she was about to walk out of this cage that had trapped her for many years.
She didn't feel happy at all. She felt sad, but she also felt that after escaping from his control, the world had become exceptionally wide. However, because the world of freedom was too wide, she did not know where to go. The world was so big, and where was her place to stay?
She could no longer understand what kind of feeling this was. She wanted to stay by Kang Zhenglun's side, but she was afraid that he would betray her like his own family. Her troubled feelings made her very embarrassed, and because she was at a loss, she chose to let time and space settle their feelings.
This might be an act of escape, just like an ostrich that didn't dare to face the problem when it met an enemy. It thought that it would bury its head in the sand pit, and while it couldn't see the enemy, others couldn't hurt it. However, at least this was the best choice she thought at the moment.
It wasn't that she didn't want to stay by his side, but because she had been betrayed before, she couldn't easily trust anyone anymore.
It wasn't that she didn't feel how well he treated her. Since he gave her such a wonderful feeling and made her feel nostalgic, it was as beautiful as the orange sunset at dusk. Since that was the case, why not keep this beautiful feeling in his heart forever and take it out in the dead of night to savor it? At least this kind of happiness could deceive oneself and convince oneself not to have any regrets. Wasn't this kind of feeling also a kind of beauty in life?
Zhu Jing Rong shook her head, ordering herself not to think about those troubling things. The world before her eyes was bright and resplendent, no longer burdened, no longer worried. This was the first time in her twenty years of life that she felt that the days she had lived for herself were so relaxed.
She looked at herself in the mirror, her long black hair draped over her shoulders like a waterfall.
She picked up the comb on the table and combed her long hair slowly and carefully. Every time she combed her hair from top to bottom, she always thought that Kang Zhenglun was beside her. He would either watch her comb her long hair attentively or take over her unfinished actions. Then, he would give a loving kiss to each lock of hair. Unfortunately, such a heartwarming scene was about to become a memory as she insisted on leaving. She could only take it out from her memory and miss it when she dreamed at night.
Very quickly, Zhu Jing Rong tied her long hair into a hairband, and then began to braid her hair. Every time she tied her hair, a few drops of tears would fall. When she was done tying her hair, she could no longer stop the tears from flowing down her face. She allowed them to slide down her pale face, wet her clothes, and slowly erode her fragile heart into a thousand holes.
Staring at the braided hair, Zhu Jingrong picked up the scissors and resolutely closed her eyes. She cut the scissors above the hairband!!
Long hair is left for you. If you are not here, why should my hair be here? Should return to the monarch, do not force to stay, stay here and there will only leave sorrow.
Kang Zhenglun had asked her to grow her long hair for him. Since it belonged to him, she had no reason to stay when she refused to accept his love.
She didn't want to take away what belonged to him, nor did she have the right to do so.#
This book comes from：m.funovel.com。