One morning, Zheng Qinglan was writing something in her office with the door closed. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. Zheng Qinglan sighed and thought," Who was it? Why did he come at such a crucial time? She stood up and walked over to open the door. When she opened the door, she saw a person standing outside. Her hair was parted in the middle, and her long hair was drooping down, almost covering her bulging eyes. Seeing Zheng Qinglan open the door, he chuckled and said,""Yo, great scholar, you're writing behind closed doors, right? Am I disturbing you by knocking on the door so rashly?”It was Mei Dexing. Zheng Qinglan had met him many times, but she had never spoken to him properly. Sometimes, she would just nod at him. Zheng Qinglan felt that she was not on the same path as him. She would fall into awkward silence after saying three sentences. It was better not to say anything. "Come in and have a glass of water." As he spoke, he opened the door and let Mei Dexing in. Mei Dexing sat on the chair. He wanted to put his feet on Zheng Qinglan's desk, but he felt that it was inappropriate, so he gave up. Zheng Qinglan poured him a glass of water. She frowned when she saw that he didn't sit properly. "Brother, you're like a scholar after all, unlike us laymen. You can tell from the layout of this office.”This was clearly Mei Dexing trying to make conversation. Zheng Qinglan's office was actually the worst room in the library. Half of the room was filled with junk, such as a table with a missing leg, a chair without a back, a fluorescent lamp, and a newspaper that the unit had ordered over the years. There was a thick layer of dust on it. Zheng Qinglan felt that this place was quiet, so she chose to work here without hesitation. He pulled a curtain to separate the old junk inside. He found a table that could barely be used and pasted a layer of white paper on it. The best thing he used was a spring and autumn chair that Mei Dexing was sitting on. The seat of the chair could be adjusted. When it was hot, he would sit on the wooden side. When it was cold, he would sit on the sponge side. Now that Mei Dexing had actually said that his office was elegant, he felt awkward at first, but he was unwilling to say anything more to him. He just laughed dryly, but Mei Dexing did not mind at all. He picked up the teacup and took two sips of tea before saying,"Brother, you've heard about our unit, right?”"What is it?" "You really don't know?" Mei Dexing stared at Zheng Qinglan's face like a hungry wolf staring at a sheep. "What is it? I really don't know.”"Didn't you hear that your teacher is retiring?”"So what if I quit?" Mei Dexing seemed a little anxious and said,"Tsk, so what if he retired? Someone has to take his place.”Zhang Changfeng was right. This guy really wanted to be the director. He naturally thought of what Zhang Changfeng had said to him in the tavern that time, and a special disgust suddenly rose in his heart. However, he did not show it on the surface, and his words were especially careful, afraid that this guy would say something unpleasant. "I'm not interested in such things.”"I heard that many people want you to be the director. Aren't you tempted at all?”"What's there to be tempted about? The position of the director is not a private one. It doesn't count. If Captain Mei is interested, I don't think anyone will compete with you.”Mei Dexing laughed loudly." This director position is not a good position either. There are many things to do and little money to be made, and people have even less spare money. Initially, I didn't even think about it at all. Think about how comfortable it would be for me to be a movie projectionist, but my brother-in-law said that he wanted me to train. My brother-in-law is that Section Chief Xiong from the bureau. People call him the Second Bureau Chief. Hehe, you know that I don't have much knowledge. Even if I were to stay in the Hanlin Academy for a few years, I wouldn't be able to recognize many words. What kind of training?" "Brother, you have a glib tongue and are very popular in front of everyone. Now that there are capable people taking care of you, if you become the director, it will definitely make a big change in our museum.”"Of course. To tell you the truth, my brother-in-law told me that as long as I become the director, the office conditions of our museum will immediately be improved. At that time, you won't have to sit in such a broken room and create. Sigh, this is simply a waste of talent. " Aren't we advocating respect for knowledge and talent now? Young and talented people like my brother should be respected.”Zheng Qinglan felt her scalp tingle. She quickly said,""Brother, don't say that." "I also feel that it is not appropriate to talk about these things with a scholar like you. I originally did not plan to tell you about this matter. I am just full of respect for you, so I came in to say hello to you. In the future, if you need me, just say hello.”"No need, no need." "Brother, don't be so polite. I don't have any other abilities, but I like to make friends. Over the years, I've made a few friends. My brother is busy with his career every day, and it's hard for him to go out of the house a few times a year. My friend is your friend. If there's anything, I'll definitely help you.”"Alright, alright. If there's anything, I'll definitely trouble Captain Mei.”He hoped that he could put an end to it and let Mei Dexing leave quickly, but Mei Dexing didn't care about him at all. The topic actually changed to Shang Liu Xin, whom Zheng Qinglan didn't want to talk about the most. "Younger brother is so lucky. I heard that sister-in-law is a beauty like a flower.”Zheng Qinglan nervously pondered over Mei Dexing's words. Before she could figure it out, Mei Dexing said," Am I right? You see, you're so beautiful that I have nothing to say. I've heard about it from below, and I've heard it more than once or twice. They said that before Sister-in-law married you, there were many people chasing after her. Some of them even chased her to her workplace and refused to leave. In the end... Hehe, it's my brother's good fortune that you picked up a loophole."”After saying that, he laughed out loud. Mei Dexing's " miss " had two completely opposite meanings. One was about the collection of cultural relics. Picking a miss meant picking up a treasure. The other was related to a local saying related to marriage. There was a local saying that said," Choose a lamp miss from a thousand choices." It was to advise young people not to be picky when they were dating. In the end, they might choose someone else's leftovers. Mei Dexing was praising Shang Liu Xin on the surface, but in fact, he was mocking Zheng Qinglan for marrying a woman that no one else wanted. This guy's mouth was really vicious. His words made Zheng Qinglan's heart burn like a stove. He clenched his fists as hard as iron and gritted his teeth, but he couldn't do anything. He really didn't have the confidence to compete with this shameless person in front of him. If it was just a fight, there was nothing to be afraid of. What he was afraid of was that people would pursue the reason behind their fight. That would definitely be another long-lasting discussion, ridicule, ridicule, sigh, finger pointing, and even more ugly and embarrassing words.
He sat there, his head in a mess. He didn't know what he was thinking. He only felt his head buzzing, and his nose was cold and sore.
"Brother, what are you doing?" Zheng Qinglan thought it was still Mei Dexing, so she didn't even raise her head and said in disgust,""You're leaving?" "It's me, Xiao Danian. What's wrong? Are you okay?”"It's nothing. I suddenly feel very uncomfortable, as if I've caught a cold.”Zheng Qinglan said weakly. "It seems a little. Your face is red. Do you have a fever? Hurry up and go to the hospital to have a look.”"No need, just drink some hot water.”As he spoke, he stood up and poured a glass of water for Xiao Danian and himself.
"Alright, I have something to tell you. What is Mei Dexing doing here?”"Nothing much, just a few words of gossip.”"Gossip, he wouldn't come here to talk about gossip. He must be talking about being the director.”"He did mention this topic." "This guy is here to get some information. I'm telling you, you have to fight for the position of the director. A person like him has no character or contribution. If he becomes the director, we'll feel ashamed when we walk out.”
"I'm not qualified," Zheng Qinglan said lazily.”Xiao Danian looked at Zheng Qinglan in surprise and asked in disbelief,""Why are you speaking in such a tone? There's no spirit at all. Could it be that that guy said something harsh to you just now that scared you?”"It has nothing to do with me whether he says harsh words or not. I'm not qualified to be an official.”"So he must have said it. Aiya, brother, you can't give in even more. What right does he have to say such harsh words to you? You say you don't have the right, but does he? What right does he have?”"I've already said that whether he becomes the director or not has nothing to do with me. I don't want to interfere in these things.”"Are you telling the truth?" "Yes.""It doesn't matter if it is or not. Let me remind you, don't make us sad. Zhang Changfeng, He Xiangu, and your teacher will definitely support you." That's right. You're a little young in terms of age, but isn't it the current trend to promote youth? No one in the dojo can compare to your work results. We all know how you behave. We all trust you so much, but you insist on giving up. I really don't understand. I think, no, all of us think that you being the director is good for yourself and good for our museum. If he becomes the director, other than being good for him, not only will it not be good for the museum, but it will also cause a mess.”"Thank you for telling me so much. I'm just a useless person. You can't help me. Don't tell me this. I really don't want to be a director.”"Sigh, since things have already come to this point, I won't say anything more. Just take what I said just now as a few stinky farts. Cough, a toad jumping on someone's foot. I'm asking for trouble.”As he spoke, he stood up and walked away resentfully.
Zheng Qinglan stood up and closed the door. Then, she walked back as if she was stepping on cotton. She fell down on her butt. She felt terrible. I've become a person who doesn't know what's good for me. Teacher thinks so highly of me and is trying to nurture me. Zhang Changfeng, Xiao Danian, and He Xiangu all try their best to support me, but I insist on disobeying them. How will they think of me in the future? Mei Dexing, you despicable scoundrel. You didn't hesitate to use such despicable means to become the director. You will die a horrible death. This was the first time Zheng Qinglan had cursed someone like this. She hated him to the extreme. Who was to blame for this? It seemed right to blame Shang Liu Xin for not having self-love. If she was a pure and innocent woman, she would definitely not have been threatened by such a shameful thing. However, she didn't hide this experience, so blaming her wasn't justifiable. He blamed his decision back then for being too absurd. He clearly knew that marrying Shang Liu Xin would result in all sorts of criticism and ridicule, but he still pretended to be a saint. Now, not only did he not dare to compete with others, he even had to endure unspeakable humiliation. What was he doing? Ai, what are you regretting now? When you decided to marry Shang Liu Xin, didn't you already make up your mind to live your life in obscurity? How could you be moved after hearing a few words of encouragement? Since it was decided back then, so be it. What was the use of regretting? What's so great about not being the director? Don't you still have a pen? No one can take this away from you. You can use it to vent your anger and emotions. That's the only way. Don't ever think about being outstanding again in this life. This isn't a good thing for you.
After work at noon, Zheng Qinglan was still sitting in the office. He didn't want to go back. He didn't want to face Shang Liuxin, but he still felt uncomfortable sitting in the office. Suddenly, she heard someone talking. It was Shang Liu Xin." Baby Ya Ya, see if your father is still in the office."”Zheng Qinglan was shocked. He then remembered that it was Shang Liu Xin's first time going to work at that kindergarten. When she came back, she happened to pass by the cultural center. He quickly stood up from the chair. Yaya was already standing in front of the door. When she saw him calling her " Daddy " sweetly, Zheng Qinglan's tears immediately flowed out. Yaya turned around and said to Shang Liu Xin,"Mom, my dad is still here.”"Ya Ya, I'm not wrong, am I? I knew your father definitely didn't come home. He's a lazy father. He's afraid to go home and cook.”"No, my father is not a lazy father. He just got off work.”Zheng Qinglan had already wiped away her tears. She was afraid that Shang Liu Xin would notice her strange behavior. She narrowed her eyes, lowered her head, and carried Yaya. She covered her eyes and turned around to close the door. "There's no one here. Are you waiting for us here?”" Ah, yes."" It's a lie. Why didn't you pick us up after work? You just sat here and waited. You made us walk so far."”Shang Liu Xin's words were always filled with reproach," In the future, when I have money, I will buy a bicycle too, so that I won't always count on you.”Zheng Qinglan didn't say anything. She placed Yaya on the beam of the bicycle frame and asked,""Baby Yaya, sit properly and don't move around. It's not comfortable to sit on this beam. I'll buy a small chair in the afternoon and put it here. In the future, I'll specially send Baby Yaya to and from school, okay?”"Mom said that she would buy a bicycle when she has money, so she doesn't need you to pick her up.”"That's for the future. I haven't bought it yet.”"Alright."
After entering the house, Shang Liu Xin said,"Ya Ya, go inside and watch some cartoons. I'll cook with Dad."”He turned around and said to Zheng Qinglan," It's not like before. I used to have nothing to do at home. I cooked dinner and waited for you. You could eat it as soon as you came back. As you can see, I get off work around the same time as you. I'm afraid I can't do it alone. I can't make it in time. You have to do something." Come, you wash the rice and cook while I wash the vegetables. This is faster. Take more rice and burn the rice tonight so that you don't have to burn it again at night. There are small bowls in the rice bucket. Just scoop two bowls of rice. You know where the rice is, right? It's in the round wooden bucket under the chopping board. You don't know anything. It's all my fault. Now, you won't be able to enjoy happiness anymore.”Ever since his relationship with Shang Liu Xin had made substantial progress, Zheng Qinglan had never felt anything like happiness from her. He had an instinctive resistance towards her words. Happiness, what is happiness like? I'm afraid I'll never be able to touch it in my life.
After putting the pot on the stove, Zheng Qinglan moved a chair and sat down to choose some vegetables. Shang Liu Xin lifted the lid of the pot and looked at it. She didn't say anything, but she soon found a topic to talk about." What vegetables did you choose? You've thrown away all the leaves. How many vegetables can you have left? If you're like this, you'll lose a mountain of gold, not to mention you're so poor."”Zheng Qinglan, who was already feeling stifled, felt even more stifled. She sat there in frustration. She didn't know whether to choose or not. If she chose, she would be afraid of Shang Liu Xin's criticism. If she didn't choose, she would feel that she was too petty to be angry with a woman. "Go, go, go. You don't look like you're doing anything. I don't know how your parents taught you. You can't even do a small thing well.”Zheng Qinglan couldn't help but reply,""Can you watch your words? If there's anything wrong with me, just say it. Why did you bring my parents along? How did they offend you?" It would have been better if Zheng Qinglan didn't say anything, but once she said it, it was like pouring a bag of explosives into a burning bonfire. Shang Liu Xin's face turned red and she said to Zheng Qinglan angrily,""I want to talk about them. I've wanted to talk about them for a long time. It's fine if you don't say anything. If you want to say something, let's make it clear. Tell me, what did they do to you? Why don't you say it? Are you mute?”?" Keep your voice down," Zheng Qinglan said in a low voice." You're scaring Yaya."”Shang Liu Xin snorted." Now you're thinking of Ya Ya. You want to use her as a shield, right? If you don't let me say it, I will say it."”"Alright, go ahead. I'll listen." She moved the chair over and sat down. Shang Liu Xin angrily threw the basin in her hands, spilling the vegetables everywhere. Zheng Qinglan gritted her teeth and said,"" Madman," he stood up and looked at Yaya.
Ya Ya was sitting in front of the television with tears in her eyes. Her originally rosy little face was now pale. When she saw Zheng Qinglan come in, her little mouth widened and she cried out, Daddy, I want Mommy." Zheng Qinglan took a few steps forward and held Yaya tightly in her arms. She choked and said,""Ya Ya, don't cry. Mommy is cooking in the kitchen. Come, wipe your tears. Let's go see Mommy. Oh, wait a moment. Watch TV first. I'll go see if Mommy has finished cooking.”Shang Liu Xin sat there wiping her tears. Zheng Qinglan pulled her and said softly," Forget it, I won't look at it even if I don't want to. For Ya Ya's sake, you should…" Before she could finish speaking, Shang Liu Xin choked back,""What should I do? What should I do?”"Okay, okay, okay. You're not wrong. It's all my fault. You can say whatever you want about me. Don't scare Yaya. Didn't you see how scared Yaya was just now?”"I can't bear to. I'm a stepmother." "Forget it, don't say things out of anger. Come, wipe your face and take a rest. It's just a small matter. There's no need to get so angry. I'll be the chef this afternoon." As she spoke, she went to pick up the vegetables on the ground. Shang Liu Xin snatched the basin. Zheng Qinglan knew that she had settled down for the time being, so she ignored Shang Liuxin and returned to the house. She picked up Yaya and watched TV with her. Ya Ya sat on his lap obediently and stared at the television without saying a word. She was completely different from usual. " It's my fault," Zheng Qinglan thought. She couldn't do this again. Since she was brought into this world, she had to be responsible for her.
Zheng Qinglan knew where the source of the matter was. Everything else was just a trivial matter. If he didn't know Shang Liu Xin's past so clearly, he would do everything he could to make her happy. The problem was that he not only knew, but he also knew so much about it. Therefore, he couldn't even say a gentle word. He only knew that he had to move forward, but he didn't have any hope. Wouldn't I become a walking corpse? I really don't dare to think that I've also stimulated words in the past, and I've also been strong and intense. No, I'm not a walking corpse. I just don't have any goals in my family life. I still have to continue my career. Otherwise, what's the point of me coming to this world? I can only count it as having been here before. Otherwise, I would have really become a walking corpse. I can't forgive myself. I'm afraid I won't be able to die in peace.
There were only two days left before the director competition. Only Mei Dexing and Xiao Danian submitted their applications. Zheng Qinglan did not make any moves. It was not that he did not want to participate in the competition, but he was afraid of Mei Dexing's shameless revenge. Xiao Danian asked him again if he was willing to sign up for the competition, but Zheng Qinglan refused. Xiao Danian said," It's fine if you don't want to sign up. Then I'll sign up. I'm telling you, I never wanted to be the director. You forced me. I don't want to work under an immoral and incompetent person.”Xiao Danian had also told Luo Tianyin that Zheng Qinglan did not want to participate in the competition. Luo Tianyin had told him,""By right, it's his personal business who will compete and who will not. As the current director, I shouldn't be biased, lest I say that I'm unfair. However, since you're talking to me about this now, I'll find an opportunity to talk to him in my personal capacity. " However, you have to be prepared to participate in the competition. Zheng Qinglan looks a little listless, but he's actually a bit stubborn. I know him very well. He must have his reasons for not participating. Even if I try to persuade him, he might not change his mind."”"At least tell him once that he's the most suitable candidate. I was forced to do this.”Seeing that it was almost time, Luo Tianyin called Zheng Qinglan to her office the morning before the competition and asked,"What did you think about the competition for the position of director?”Zheng Qinglan lowered her head subconsciously. After a moment of silence, she said,""Teacher, forget it. I'm not cut out to be the director. If others are willing to be the director, let them be.”"What are you talking about? I don't think you're the director to fight for your own interests. I just hope that you can better display your talents in this position. Besides, the cultural center is the Qingshui Yamen of the Qingshui Yamen.”" Teacher, I understand, but…" Zheng Qinglan stammered, not knowing how to continue. "I heard that Mei Dexing looked for you. Is that true?”" Yes."" You just listened to him like that. He told you not to participate and you just didn't participate. Are you that weak?”It was an insult to accuse a young man of cowardice. Even though Zheng Qinglan was his junior and his student, Luo Tianyin had never spoken to Zheng Qinglan in such a tone. Luo Tianyin wanted to use this extreme provocation to force Zheng Qinglan to make a move. "What did he say to you? Did he dare to scold you or hit you?”Zheng Qinglan's face turned pale and red. After a long while, she said with a trembling voice,""Teacher, I'm sorry. I can't tell you.”"Are you sure you won't participate in the competition?”"Teacher, I've let you down. I'm sorry, but don't worry. Although I won't participate in the competition for the position of director, I'll definitely do my part.”"Ever since I was a student, I've known that you're a person who pursues progress. Since you're not willing to participate in the competition today, I think there must be other reasons. I won't ask further. I just think that this is a very good opportunity. I apologize for my harsh words just now.”"No, no, no. Teacher, you don't have to apologize. I'm the one who has let you down. I should be the one apologizing.”"Forget it, let's not talk about this. If you don't want to participate, then so be it. Don't think too much about it. Tomorrow, we'll see Xiao Danian and Mei Dexing compete for the position. Let's not think too badly of him. Mei Dexing's reputation was not very good in the past.”
After returning home at night, Shang Liu Xin asked," Today, I heard from the parents at the kindergarten that your school is competing for the position of the director. How are your preparations going? Are you confident?"”" What? You didn't even sign up? Then why did you tell me that your teacher recommended you to be the director? I thought you were the only one who could be the director, but I was so happy for nothing.”"It's the same whether you're the director or not. Just do your job well.”"You only know how to find excuses for yourself. In this day and age, it's good to have a little title. People say that it's better to be the head of a chicken than the tail of a phoenix. The director of this county not only manages the 10 to 20 people in your museum, but also the cultural centers in the villages and towns below. No matter what, there are at least a few hundred people. The secretary and mayor can't compare to him, but the head of a chicken can be considered. What a coward." "Don't make it sound so tacky. When it comes to being an official or a leader, you always think of taking advantage of others.”"I'm vulgar. Didn't you hear on TV that it's forbidden for officials to eat more and occupy more? There are many people who call me vulgar. Don't look at how those people sit on stage and act like dogs. In fact, which one of them isn't full of tricks behind their backs? You're the only one who's pretending to be noble all day.”"That's your opinion. I think there are still many good officers. My teacher is very upright and everyone in the school supports him.”"Come on, who would take advantage of me and shout around with a tweeter? Forget it, it doesn't matter if you're the director or not. Anyway, I've never thought of becoming an official's wife. My parents didn't give birth to me, so I have to earn my own food. I just want to be less angry.”
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