Time: 2009-4-111:08:28 Words: 3329
Zhiyuan's eyes were wet after reading Yan Mei's letter. Yan Mei said what he wanted to say in a tone full of true feelings. Yan Mei had already roughly understood his feelings at this time. Yan Mei's encouragement and sincerity made Zhiyuan teary again. Zhiyuan seemed to see Yan Mei who was worried about him in the distance. She must have grown taller than him. From the contents of the letter, Zhiyuan found that Yanmei had become much more mature. She must have learned rich and gorgeous sentences from her studies. Some profound and meaningful words made Zhiyuan seem to understand them. Zhiyuan knew that the current Yanmei was the same as the previous Yanmei. What remained unchanged was Yanmei's genuine concern. They were still familiar with each other, but neither of them said what they wanted to say directly. Zhiyuan could understand why Yanmei didn't say it directly. After all, a girl still had to be reserved. Zhiyuan knew that Yanmei was waiting for Zhiyuan to say it first, and he should say it first. If it wasn't for his poor family background, he would have had enough courage to say his love for Yanmei. This was the process of changing from friendship to kinship and then to love. When concern turned into comfort and concern, all childhood emotions slowly changed.
Zhiyuan could tell from the letter that Yanmei's attitude towards him had not changed. Yanmei's concern for him was even closer than before. Thinking of this, Zhiyuan felt warm in his heart. A warm current flowed from the soles of his feet to his entire body. Yanmei's slender figure appeared in front of him. Zhiyuan's secret love for Yanmei surged at this moment. Zhiyuan looked at Yanmei in the photo and his heart rushed in the direction that Yanmei was looking at. Zhiyuan's escape from Yanmei was because of his growing love for her. After the fire burned in his heart, he was unusually calm. Zhiyuan had always felt inferior in front of Yanmei. He felt that he was not qualified to say love to Yanmei. When he walked with Yanmei, he always felt that there were people pointing at him.
After the reform and opening-up policy, the countryside had undergone earth-shaking changes. One could become rich through hard work. Neighbors built new houses one after another. Only the house built by Zhiyuan's family in the past eight years was still standing in the village. The blue brick wall in the courtyard was so eye-catching compared to the surrounding red brick walls. The family was also worried about building the house all day long. Zhiyuan's brother had reached the age of engagement. The values of love in the new era were also synchronized with the development of society. Without a few decent red brick houses, everything was out of the question. The only valuable property in Zhiyuan's house was a 14-inch black and white TV of a random brand and an old-fashioned table set that his mother had given him as a dowry. A few stools with broken legs were lying messily in the middle of the empty and dark hall. Behind the desolate scene was a few pairs of eyes looking around and waiting. The three sisters went to school and used up the meager income of the family that relied on their parents to farm. The three sisters did not achieve anything in their studies. Now, their parents really did not have the ability to solve the problem of the house. The elder brother's lifelong event was also delayed. When Zhiyuan was studying in the county town, he did not have good food and clothes. It was Yanmei's selfless financial support that saved Zhiyuan from a lot of embarrassment. Zhiyuan had always been grateful to Yanmei and her family. This situation made it difficult for him to survive, so he still had the courage to express his love to Yanmei.
Zhiyuan could tell that his parents liked Yanmei, who had grown up with them. His mother often talked to the neighbors behind their backs that Zhiyuan and Yanmei were a good couple. Yanmei's parents never stopped them from dating like other parents. Perhaps they did not think too much about it and were still very enthusiastic about Zhiyuan. This kind of enthusiasm might be sincere enthusiasm and gratitude. There was only one family in the village with the surname Zheng. Yan Mei's uncle was also assigned to work in the coal mine under the Zaocheng Mining Bureau. Yan Mei's uncle found a wife in the local area and started a family. Yan Mei's father married a wife in his hometown to take care of his parents. Yan Mei's father worked in the coal mine, and her mother farmed at home to take care of her elderly in-laws. Yanmei and Zhiyuan had been good friends since they were in primary school. Zhiyuan had suffered a lot of punches in order to stop older children from snatching Yanmei's food, which had also shaped Zhiyuan's upright character. Yanmei's parents often mentioned to Zhiyuan that he took care of Yanmei. They felt comforted by the deep friendship between the two children. It was Zhiyuan who had allowed Yanmei to grow up in a carefree environment. They were grateful to Zhiyuan. Yanmei's parents also placed more hope on the fate of their friendship.
Yan Mei had always treated Zhiyuan as her own brother, a reliable friend and good partner. Their friendship had gradually grown with age. Now, Yan Mei had mentioned in her letter that she had more hopes and hopes for Zhiyuan in the future. It was not that Zhiyuan had not thought about his future with Yan Mei. His family was ruined and he had nothing. Zhiyuan did not even know how to support himself, let alone bear so many responsibilities and burdens. Zhiyuan could see the distance between himself and Yanmei gradually widening between the lines. His self-righteous talent gradually withered in front of Yanmei's erudition. He now saw the importance of knowledge in life. In the past, Zhiyuan thought that 'learning is not enough, but it is enough.' In fact, his knowledge was not enough to face many obstacles and setbacks. He had sunk deeper and deeper into the predicament, unable to extricate himself. There was no way to retreat and no choice. Zhiyuan felt the power of knowledge and the role it would play in his future life. Knowledge could also produce irresistible creativity. From Yanmei's body, mind, and practical experience, Zhiyuan found that he was greatly lacking in knowledge. What he lacked was not only knowledge, but also the infinite energy that knowledge could bring to people to tap their potential.
Zhiyuan regretted his rash decision and the devastating disaster that it brought. If he had not been lured by the Hong Kong and Taiwan movies that were popular in the mainland, he would be studying in a quiet ivory tower with Yan Mei now. Zhiyuan still remembered that at the New Year's Eve party in his first year of junior high school, Zhiyuan sang a song full of passion in front of the whole school. His talented voice interpreted the meaning of the song almost perfectly. He was immersed in unprecedented confidence in the applause. That was the first time that Zhiyuan felt that he existed in a three-dimensional posture in this world. He had been living in a closed and fragile space. That was the most perfect memory that Zhiyuan had left behind in the county middle school. The beautiful and surprised eyes in the picture were filled with praise and emotion because Zhiyuan had only heard it on television and radio. However, a few months later, Zhiyuan left the school that made him confident and disappointed. Facing the darkness of the future, Zhiyuan did not want to bear the responsibility that he could not shirk. Zhiyuan's heart was repenting, bleeding, and crying. He did not dare to face not only tomorrow, but also his parents 'beautiful eyes and all the eyes that were full of hope for him. Zhiyuan could not bear it. Now Zhiyuan understood why her beautiful red and swollen eyes were filled with despair and sorrow on the day she left the school.
Zhiyuan had always wanted to escape and had always been escaping. Now, a beautiful letter had filled all the spaces that could be avoided.
The fantasies of the past had been shattered, and his dreams were endless. Zhiyuan, who had suddenly come to his senses, was already accepting the punishment of fate. It was the pain that made him completely repent. He had forgotten that there was nothing more painful than regret in the world, and there was no magical power that could turn back time. It was too late to turn back and wake up, but life was not over yet, and the story was not over yet. The wonderful performance quietly began. Zhiyuan danced alone under the starless moonlight. The wind quietly slipped past him, and the clouds ran in the distance, ruthlessly blocking the cold moonlight. The raindrops fell on him, and Zhiyuan, who had nowhere to hide, prayed for the first ray of sunlight from the east to disperse the frost on his body and warm this quiet desolation.
The beautiful comfort gave him the courage to walk on. Zhiyuan held a beautiful warm greeting in his hand, and Zhiyuan felt ashamed. Zhiyuan's wrong understanding of Yanmei had negated the friendship that had been established over the years. Zhiyuan had misinterpreted Yanmei's swaying in the wind and rain alone with his sensitive nerves. Zhiyuan had always been avoiding Yanmei and thought that Yanmei would definitely increase her interest and pursuit of new things with the increase of knowledge. His future direction could not be in the same direction as Yanmei's pursuit. In this golden season of learning, knowledge was constantly replenishing Yanmei's brain. Her pursuit of the future would also constantly change direction.
Thinking of this, Zhiyuan took out a pen to write a letter to Yanmei. Although he did not know when he would have the chance to go to the post office, he did not know if Yanmei would be able to read it. However, Zhiyuan still had to say what he wanted to say to Yanmei. He thought that it would make him feel better. He wanted to release the pain that he had suppressed in his heart for two years. Zhiyuan took out the letter he had brought from his hometown and spread it on the bed with a thick magazine under it. He was going to write back to Yanmei. He felt that he should let her know everything about him as soon as possible. He should let her know all his thoughts and the current situation that he could not bring up. He should take this opportunity to express his love for Yanmei. It was a confession, a release, an upgrade of friendship, and a normal change of emotions at his age. In this uncertain day, Zhiyuan's confidence was on the verge of collapse. Yanmei's encouragement and true feelings gave Zhiyuan courage. Having built up his confidence, the dying light once again lit up the torch of hope, dispelling the haze in his heart. If expressing his love for Yanmei was a misunderstanding or a mistake, he should be forgiven. If he loved her, he should just say it out loud. Even if it was a fruitless confession, Zhiyuan thought that perhaps Yanmei had the same thoughts and changes as him. The deep and pure friendship turned into a silent love for each other, which was a testament to time and honesty. Yan Mei's tone did not change because of his experience and his downfall. His experience and difficulties had received Yan Mei's concern as always. He really felt sorry for Yan Mei's deep love for him. Yan Mei had been worried about him all this time. Zhiyuan felt too guilty towards her. He had been torturing Yan Mei irresponsibly during the time he had been avoiding her. While torturing others, Zhiyuan was torturing himself at the same time. Yanmei was worried about him without any news. Waiting was more heartless than disappointment for Yanmei. Now Zhiyuan understood everything he had to do.
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